by Al K. Line
There were no vegetables in ordered rows, just a few straggly crops that had gone to seed, nothing else. At the house it wasn't much better. The pots of flowers were there, but they were dry, earth and gravel spilling over the sides onto the ground and left there. Mounds of leaves were rotting in corners where the wind had blown them and there were piles of wood that had toppled and been left, not even split ready to burn when the weather turned cold. All that was odd in the extreme, but what really gave me pause for thought was the fact the windows were dirty. Kate had a real thing about it, almost obsessive compulsive.
The place seemed abandoned; the door was wide open.
"Hello," I called nervously. "Is anybody there?"
Forgiveness
Like an angel, Kate appeared at the doorway, face a mixture of excitement and anger. She was having a hard time deciding whether to slap me or kiss me—no prizes for guessing I was hoping it would be the latter.
I smiled, sure to keep my eyes on her and not the mess our home had become. There would be a good explanation, even if that was simply not being arsed as she was on a downer. That would be fair enough. Heck, anything would be. It was her I was concerned about, not things.
She hesitated, but I moved close so I could reach out and touch her, take in the familiar scent of her that makes my heart leap and my belly go into a twist as I wonder why she chose me, and then we were hugging. No words, just a show of emotion. We were wrapped up as tight as two humans can possibly be. Sharing love through our hearts pounding loud and vibrating the other's chest.
I felt her heat, the push of firm breasts against my shirt, and I nuzzled her ear and she murmured her contentment like a cat on your lap after a busy day.
This was what I wanted, more than anything. What an idiot I'd been to try to give it up, even if for her own good. She wanted this. We were far from a normal couple, granted, but we wanted to be together and truth be told I realized at that moment that Kate, just like me, was addicted to the Hidden life, to magic and the rush of adrenaline. To death and danger and all our world had to offer. To magic, mystery, and surprise. To the endless wonders Regulars never get to experience.
Hell, she was a vampire. Why was I trying to protect her from me and my dangerous world when she was part of something a lot more scary and would be for eternity?
We both wanted this, and we wanted each other. We needed to be together.
Things would be all right.
"You stink," were the first words out of Kate's mouth. Not exactly all lovey-dovey but she had a point.
"I know. Someone smashed in my nose, then I fought some angry vampires, then I went to Madge's as I didn't know if you wanted to see me or if you would be home and then... Oh!"
Kate grabbed my crotch and I decided I needed a shower, and quick. She pulled me into the house and we ran up the stairs like our lives depended on it.
We were naked in seconds, kissing while the water heated, then stepped in, getting clean and warm and hot and steamy. The last year of my life was washed away.
I was home, where I belonged. No way would I give it up. Not to the Council, not for Rikka, not for anyone.
*
We lay in bed, from what I could tell the only place in the house that was truly clean. The sheets were freshly laundered and smelled of roses, the pillows were plump and felt like resting on air after my hard bunk with itchy blankets and what felt like a rock for a pillow. But best of all was the naked body of Kate next to me, hair tousled, eyes sexy as all hell, breasts glistening with sweat and the sweetest smile on her face.
"Sorry about saying what I said before."
"Me too," said Kate, half asleep. "And sorry about your nose. Does it hurt?"
"No, not really. Is it wonky?"
"A little, but it suits you. Makes you look less like a model, more like a boxer."
"Good. Now, how about you tell me what's been going on around here? Are you coping? Things seem to have got a little, um, behind."
Kate sat up, her breasts jiggling like an invitation to grab and lick, but I resisted, barely. She gave them an extra wiggle, eyes full of mischief, and I croaked, "Later."
She shrugged and off they bounced again and said, "Your loss."
"Out with it, what's been happening?"
"First, the tattoo. Is that it, the time you have left?"
My hand went to the numbers. Damn, for a while I'd forgotten. "Yeah, that's when they carry out my sentence. Or it gets carried out. I just go, gone."
"But you can stop it, right?"
"I'll damn well try." Kate seemed pleased with the answer. She had more faith in me than I did. "Now, about our home."
"There are things here, Faz, things that are doing something. I see them but don't see them. Catch them out of the corner of my eye and then they are gone. It sounds silly, but it's true."
"Ah, right."
"You don't believe me do you?" Kate searched the room as if something would jump out at us.
"Of course I do. I've lived long enough to know there is more than you can see with normal vision, and if you say there are creatures then there are." Reluctantly, I got out of bed. "Right, I'm going for another shower, then I'll deal with this."
"You don't have to do it now. Do it later." Kate could probably see I was tired. The fight with the vampires had taken it out of me, but I felt alive and ready for anything. There was no utter draining and need to be in a dark room for a week, the encounter had woken me up, given me something rather than taken it. This was what Rikka had spoken about before I was jailed, the difference inside of you when you use magic and it doesn't cripple you.
"Best to do it now. You're scared and upset so I'll deal with it and then we can relax." I went to shower.
"Faz," whispered Kate as I headed out the door.
"Yeah," I said as I turned. She wiggled her upper body fast and then stared down at my crotch as the action had the desired effect.
"Don't be too long."
The shower could wait, for a while.
Trouble at Home
No way was I about to ruin another suit, so after I showered again fifteen minutes later—hey, I was out of practice, all right—I dressed in my Stan Smith Originals Adidas, a pair of jeans, and a white vest. Clothes like that make me feel weird, like I'm going out naked, but this was best for country clean-up time.
Standing outside my front door, Kate inside as I'd asked her to be, I scoured the tree line, the hedgerows and the long grass. I was still, as silent as an imp after your socks, and as I searched the acreage I slowly picked out slight movements, maybe of creatures, maybe just a branch moving, or the glint of an eye.
I slowed my breathing until I was at one with my surroundings, a natural part of the landscape, and slowly the cause of Kate's domestic turmoil was revealed. There was no doubt in my mind—it was a family of hobs.
"Well," I muttered to myself, "it could have been worse." At my words the creatures retreated. They'd been watching, unsure what to do now somebody new was here. I was amazed we hadn't encountered them when we'd first moved in as they love shacking up with magic users if they happened to move to the country.
Hobs are a very distant relative of the goblin family, apparently, although I can't see any similarity myself. Some call them hobgoblins, but for as long as I'd known about them they were called hobs, probably as calling anything else a goblin is the height of insult. Heck, goblins feel insulted if you call them goblins, that's how bad a reputation they have.
Kate came to the doorway and whispered, "Do you see them?"
"Yes, but be quiet. They might come out and show themselves if you don't startle them." I could see movement again. They were curious about me and it wouldn't take them long.
"Startle them! They've been terrorizing me!" That was it, they were gone. No way would they be back out for a while now.
I turned, put my arm around Kate's waist and smiled. "Come on, let's get inside. I'll tell you all about them."
Kate glanced over my
shoulder, looking worried, but I spun her around and we went into the kitchen.
"When did this all start happening?" I asked as we sat across from each other at the kitchen table.
"I'm not sure exactly. Maybe a month after you'd gone. Things were going great. The veggies were growing so fast I couldn't keep up, the house seemed to hardly ever need cleaning, and although I was sad I knew I had to keep busy. What with this place and all the chaos with the remaining vampires, well, I was at least pleased things were doing so well here."
"Then everything went wrong, right?"
"It was so odd. All of a sudden the plants began to wither, the house seemed to always need dusting and cleaning even though it was just me, and I kept getting these weird feelings, like I was being watched. I haven't actually seen anything, or not really, just little blurs of movement, but there's something here and it's making my life hell." Kate searched the kitchen nervously, obviously not for the first time.
"Why didn't you leave, or ask someone for help?"
"Because this is our home and everyone is so busy or stressed. It sounded silly to say I had to keep dusting and the plants weren't doing very well. Even saying it now sounds stupid."
"Kate, it isn't silly. It's serious and we need to make this right immediately. I mean right now. Just don't spook them."
"Spook who?"
"They're hobs. They can be good and they can be very bad. They are drawn to magic, live in the countryside, usually in houses just like this, and don't make any kind of impact on life—you never really even know they are there as long as you treat them right."
"But I didn't do anything to them. I didn't even know they were here." She was close to tears. I think it was more than just the hobs playing up, though. It was being alone and now the relief because I was back—emotions were spilling out.
"It's all right, don't worry. I'll sort it. You take it easy."
"Oh, Faz, I missed you so much. How could you say all those horrid things to me earlier? I thought you didn't love me any more." Kate broke down then but I held it together—if we both got started we'd never snap out of it.
"Sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing, but I guess not. I want us to be together always, but I didn't want to force that on you. I wanted you to have a way out regardless of if I live or not."
Kate wiped her eyes. "Haha. There is one thing I have known all along and today hasn't changed that one bit. There's no way you will let them kill you. I have faith you'll figure something out. You have to, you can't leave me alone."
"Okay. For you, I'll get myself free. Um, and for me. Right, about hobs. They help around farms and country houses, clean, make crops grow, all that good stuff. They usually live inside so they probably holed up in the attic. But if you turn on them, or they think you have, then they get nasty. They screw with you, like imps but without the playfulness."
"So what made them be so mean to me? I was all alone. I wouldn't have minded if they'd said hello. It would have been nice to have had some company. Especially in the evenings. It got so lonely here."
"It's unlikely they will speak, they are quiet creatures, proper country bumpkins. You haven't done anything different have you? Changed anything to make them mad?"
"Not that I know of. Everything was normal." I looked at Kate dubiously. "Okay, as normal as it can be when you're a vampire and your boyfriend killed the Head and everyone is going mad."
"It will be something small." I thought for a moment, then it came to me. "Ah, no milk is there? Did you just forget to buy any?"
"No, I gave it up months ago after the hedgehogs stopped drinking it. I put it out every night for them, but then they left. I saw them one night when I was out, er... Anyway, they were heading off, so after that I stopped putting it out then never bothered buying any as I drink less tea and coffee if I have to have it black. It's a good way to cut down."
"There's your answer. It was the hobs drinking it and you insulted them by stopping giving them a gift for their work."
"I would have paid them if they'd said something. They could have had all the milk they wanted in payment for—" I jumped up and put a hand to Kate's mouth and whispered urgently, "Don't ever say it's payment. They hate that. It's a gift, not payment. Say that to them and they really will make life a misery for you."
"Sorry, I didn't know."
"It's all right, but if you say that it's like they are your servants. But a gift, that's a nice thing to do. So make sure we always have milk, and some porridge in the mornings if you really want to have them love you."
"Okay." Kate paused for a moment then said, "You aren't pulling my leg, are you? I know what you're like with your jokes. There are hobs that drink milk and look after the house and land if they like you?"
"Of course I'm not joking. If you ever see an old dude wandering about in the lanes with a stick and whistling for a dog you can't see, or hanging about by a gate, with baggy brown trousers and a flat cap, then that's a hob. That's what they look like to Regulars and to us if they don't want to be bothered."
"Oh, I thought they were farmers or just people who lived around here and were out for a walk. No wonder they never said hello."
"There you go then. They are very real and right now you need to be nice to them. Come on, let's go say hi." Things were looking up. It didn't seem likely I would get dirty or in any fights after all.
Yeah, me and my big mouth.
Angry Hobs
We waded through the weeds and long grass, holding hands and smiling. I tried to focus but kept getting distracted by the image of bouncy boobies and wobbly bottoms so was taken aback to see a little hob standing in front of me with hands on hips, scowling.
For some reason they are all male, and all old. Nobody has ever seen a female one and I'm not sure there are any, or if there are then they stay very well hidden. This one had the requisite brown baggy trousers, the grubby white shirt tucked into them, muddy boots and a hat made of moss and a bird's nest. There was a tiny oak tree growing out of it.
His face was so weather-beaten, so wrinkled and ancient, that he was more like a gnarled piece of wood than a sentient creature.
But the scowl and the vibe it gave off was definitely something only creatures that knew humans could pull off with such utter perfection.
"What? Why are you looking at us like that?"
The hob sighed and lifted a finger that looked like a stick chewed by a hungry dog and pointed at Kate accusingly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. It wasn't payment, it was a—Argh, argh. Get off me, shoo."
Out of the woods and up from the grass, jumping from trees, and erupting through the earth came a teeming horde of incensed hobs. In a flash of muddy chaos they were on us, pulling hair and poking us in the shins, jumping at our faces as they clung to us in their dozens. I batted at them just as Kate did, then she began to scream as they got under her clothes, the lucky sods, and got busy with the pulling of bra straps and the twanging of sexy panties.
I wasn't faring any better. One was poking me up my still sore nose, others were in my jacket pockets and throwing out my phone and wallet. More kept landing on my head and all in all it felt like being attacked by angry saplings with some serious attitude.
They weren't being particularly vicious, no nasty bites or trying to pull out eyeballs, but they still hurt like hell as they dug elbows into eyes, put knees in private places that should be treated with the utmost care, and generally made a nuisance of themselves.
Unable to stop myself, my eyes snapped and sparkled as anger rose. I felt my tattoos swell and the chakra at my navel swirled magic from the Empty like forgotten change in the washing machine.
Out it erupted, spiraling and whirling, churning and carrying the nature of the wind with it.
The hobs were picked up and thrown to the grass away from us, the channeled forces of nature I seldom use as it's a summoning that isn't full of hurt or violence, with just enough force to give us time to breathe. Wind eddied aroun
d our bodies, cleansing us of the small creatures, fading fast and carrying away the smell of damp earth and the joys of life.
"Are you okay?" I asked Kate as she struggled with a hand that was stuck in her knotted hair.
"Fine, I think." She checked her body for damage but I knew she would be all right. Hobs go a little wild if insulted but they aren't vicious creature by nature, just a little highly strung like so many other Hidden of small stature. And these dudes are definitely small.
Only about a foot in height, they are wizened and skinny, easily mistaken for the trees and shrubs they love so much. More like nature in sentient form than anything else. But they sure do smell funny when incensed. It's like they ooze the odor of annoyance, if that makes sense?
We were surrounded by a family of maybe fifty hobs, now standing and straightening their hats of natural materials mixed in with pieces of cloth and wool they had clearly taken from the house. They all stared at us, eyes almost hidden under folds of skin or moss hanging low from their heads.
They chattered amongst themselves in a language no human has ever understood, a cross between birdsong, the clicking of beetles' wings, and how you imagine worms and insects that live in dark places communicate.
Kate wasted no time. She crouched down low and said, "I'm sorry. I'm new to the Hidden world and have a lot to learn. I apologize and I am so grateful for all the kind things you do. This is your home as much as it is ours and we welcome you. From now on every morning I shall put out a bowl of warm porridge and every evening I shall put out a bowl of warm milk as a gift to my new friends. We are friends now, right?"
She looked up at me to see if what she had said was the right thing and I nodded. I joined her, feeling bits of stick break under my shirt, but crouched with her. "I have been away but I am honored to know you and discover that you have chosen our home to be your home. You are welcome and may all our crops thrive and our home be spotless."