Journal of the Living

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Journal of the Living Page 8

by John Moralee


  Sadie ripped off her bloody gloves, walking outside for some air. I followed – leaving Neal to guard Billy. Sadie was shaking.

  “Is she going to make it?”

  “The operation was a success,” she said. “But the danger now is post-op infection. She needs powerful antibiotics or she’ll probably die.”

  “Don’t you have them here?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing strong enough. That’s why I asked you to get some on your journey.”

  “What do you need?”

  She named a few antibiotics. I had heard of some of them. Annoyingly, they had been in our van before we were robbed. “I don’t believe it! Billy’s gang now have our medical supplies. They include half the stuff you mentioned. If I can get them back, will it help Angela?”

  “Definitely,” Sadie said. “But you’d have to be quick, Ben. Angela needs to be on them as soon as possible. She really should be on them now. She had a fever, which is never a good sign. Post-op infection is one of the greatest killers. That bullet ripped through her intestines, spreading god-know-what bacteria into places where it will cause infection. We need those antibiotics to save her fast.”

  “I’ll talk to Billy,” I said. “I’ll get him to tell me where the rest of his gang will have gone.”

  I went back into the camper van and explained the situation to Billy.

  “You want to steal drugs from Quinn? Oh, man, you are insane!”

  “Where will he have gone, Billy? Where can I find him?”

  He shook his head. “If I tell you that, he’ll know I betrayed him.”

  “You said you didn’t want to be in his gang,” I reminded him.

  “Yeah – but Luke’s still with him. I don’t want Quinn to hurt my brother because I help you.”

  “You already said Luke left you behind to die. If you want to stay with us, be a part of our community, you have to tell me where they are, Billy. I’ll owe you big time.”

  “You’ll have to let me stay here with you guys after I tell you because I won’t be safe nowhere else.”

  “You’ve got my word,” I said. “Now, where have they gone?”

  “You know the village where they ambushed you?”

  I noticed he had distanced himself from the gang by using ‘they’ instead of ‘we’. “What about the village?”

  “Quinn set up our base in the church. He’ll have gone back there. It’s where we keep our weapons and stuff. The other guys were waiting there.”

  “You mean the ones we encountered were not the whole lot of you?”

  “Hell, no. Quinn’s the leader of like a hundred men. Most are bikers and hardcore criminals escaped from prisons. They were staying back at the base when we chased you – guarding the base. I was kind of surprised Quinn didn’t come straight back with the whole gang to wipe out the zombies and you guys. They have the firepower to take on the Pure Bloods in a pretty good battle. They’d only lose because the Pure Bloods have got helicopters and more men.”

  “Draw me a map of the village,” I said. “Show me where everything is. Especially where they would have taken the medicines.”

  He started drawing a map – but he hesitated before passing it to me. “Listen, Ben, you don’t want to go there. Seriously. Quinn’s bad news. I’ve seen him kill children. He’s a total psycho. Forget about attacking him. Look for the drugs somewhere else, mate. There’s got be a hospital or a clinic with some drugs you can steal.”

  “Maybe,” I said, “but I could spend all day looking, wasting time, when I know the drugs we need are with your old buddies.”

  “Fighting Quinn on his home turf is mad,” Billy said. “You’d get killed.”

  “I don’t intend to attack him,” I said. “All I need is those medicines. That’s what I need. I don’t care about fighting him. I just want to sneak in, get the drugs, then get out. Hopefully without anyone noticing. No shooting. Just stealth.”

  “Solid Snake couldn’t get into the village undetected,” he said.

  I looked at him blankly. “What?”

  “He’s in the Metal Gear Solid games. You must’ve played them.”

  “No,” I said. “Never had the time.”

  “My point is Quinn has men guarding the village. You couldn’t get near him – but I could. I could go back saying I’d escaped from the zombies. Then I could get the drugs for you and bring them to you. You could wait nearby. You’d just have to trust me.”

  ENTRY FOURTEEN

  I talked to Sadie and Neal to get their opinions before deciding I’d return with Billy to the village. We had some motorbikes in the camp and enough fuel to make it there and back – so I re-blindfolded Billy and rode out of the camp. I drove fast to avoid the Pure Blood patrols. I was soon near the village, stopping just in sight of the old church. I didn’t dare go nearer. I stopped and released Billy.

  “You want me to walk from here?”

  “It’s not far,” I said.

  “What do I tell them when I get there?”

  “Say you escaped from the zombies on a bike. Tell them it broke down so you walked the rest of the way.”

  “Then what?”

  “Then you get the drugs and bring them back. I’ll hide in the woods over there with my bike so nobody will know I’m around. I’ll stay hiding until you get back. If you really want to help Angela and be a part of our group, you’ll come back here with the medicines as soon as possible. Angela’s life is in your hands, Billy.”

  I offered my hand to shake. He studied it like it was a trick. “You’re really letting me go? You’re not like going to shoot me when I turn my back?”

  “No. I’m trusting you, Billy.”

  He shook my hand. “Thanks, Ben.”

  “Good luck.”

  Billy trudged off towards the village. Could I trust him? My head said no, but my heart was hoping he’d want to save Angela and do the right thing.

  *

  Nearly two hours later, I heard a bike coming up the road. The rider was Billy. He appeared to be alone. He stopped where I had let him go. He faced the woods, calling out. “Hey! I got the drugs! Let’s go!”

  Billy looked like he was alone – but he wasn’t. I’d seen a whole bunch of bikers sneaking up on my location from all directions.

  They had me surrounded.

  At least that was what they thought.

  I would have been trapped if I had trusted Billy – but I had not hidden in the woods where I’d told him. I was watching from a hill to west, observing Billy through binoculars. He was expecting me to come out of the woods to get shot to pieces – but I would have been a fool to trust him. I was disappointed, though. I had hoped …

  I slipped away to my bike’s hiding place, wishing I had killed Billy earlier. The gang were no doubt sneaking up on where they thought I was hiding as I rode away. They would be disappointed – but not as much as I was with Billy.

  *

  Back at the camp everyone was pleased to see me, but they were dismayed I’d failed to get the antibiotics. Angela was not going to last much longer without them. Hayley and Jason begged me to take them back to steal the medicines from the gang – but that would be suicidal. I checked on Angela’s condition. Her fever was worse. Sadie was wiping her brow, looking very worried. “There’s got to be something we can do, Ben. There has to be some way of getting the drugs.”

  “There is,” I said. I had been thinking about the problem on my journey back, avoiding the Pure Blood patrols. “But you won’t like it. It’s a desperate move.”

  “We’re long past desperate,” Sadie said. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  My next words tasted bitter. “We could hand Angela over to the Pure Bloods.”

  “That’s crazy. The Pure Bloods? They’d inject her with the necrovitalis virus – or just let her die.”

  “Not if we make a deal with them.”

  “What kind of deal?”

  “The Pure Bloods would love to know the location of the biker g
ang. I think they’d be willing to treat Angela for that info because the bikers are a greater threat to the Pure Bloods than a small group of survivors. I’ll take Angela to them and make the deal. They treat her, then I’ll give up the info.”

  “No,” Sadie said. “It’d have to be me.”

  “Why you?”

  “Once they have the info, the Pure Bloods will have no reason to let you live, Ben. But I’m a nurse. I have skills they need. I’ll agree to stay with them once I know Angela’s treated and safe. They won’t harm me.”

  “No,” I said. “You have to stay with the kids. You have to look after them. You’re like a mother to them.”

  “Yes,” she said. “And you’re like a father.”

  Neal was standing at the entrance. He put his hand gently on my shoulder. “Stop arguing. You both have to stay here, looking after Hayley and Jason. I’m a useless old man. Your lives are worth more than mine if things go wrong. I’ll do it.”

  “You’re hardly useless,” I said. “You’ve saved my life more times than I can remember. I can’t let you sacrifice yours. Angela wouldn’t want you dying at the hands of the Pure Bloods. I’ll go. It’s my decision. I’m going. Nobody else. Me.”

  “Then I hate to do this,” Neal said.

  “Do what?”

  He sucker punched me in the solar plexus. It felt like all the air in my lungs had been ripped out. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. Stunned, I was unable to stop him throwing me out of the camper van. “Sorry, Ben. I’m doing this for your own good.”

  Next, Neal forcefully ejected Sadie before locking himself inside. Sadie banged on the door begging him to open it – but he ignored her. He started the engine as the effect of his sucker punch wore off. I rushed around to the front, where I could see Neal behind the wheel. There was determination in his eyes. I stood in front of the camper van, hoping to block it from leaving. “Don’t do this, Neal.”

  Neal ignored me. He backed the camper van away from me – then switched into first gear and drove forwards, smashing through the gate out of the camp. I looked at our bikes and the zombie-proof van. I would have chased after him – but all of the other vehicles needed refuelling. No. I was powerless to stop him. Sadie ran after him – but the vehicle raced off and soon disappeared behind the trees. Sadie walked back to the camp shaking her head. “I … couldn’t … stop him.”

  “I know,” I said.

  Hayley and Jason had seen the camper van leaving – but they didn’t know what was happening. They rushed towards us, asking a lot of questions that I could not answer then, not with my chest aching from the sucker punch. Sadie answered for me. “Neal’s taking Angela to the Pure Bloods. He’s hoping to make a deal with them – her life for the location of the bikers.”

  Tears ran down Hayley’s face. “No. He can’t trust them. They’ll kill him and Angela.” She turned to me. “Why didn’t you stop him, Ben? You’re supposed to be our leader. You’re supposed to keep us all alive.”

  ENTRY FIFTEEN

  I’d never catch up with Neal – but I had one more chance of stopping him sacrificing his life. I grabbed my walkie-talkie and called him, hoping he had his switched on. “Neal, listen to me. Turn around and come back. You don’t have to take Angela to the Pure Bloods. We’ll figure out something else. Please answer me, Neal.”

  I waited, looking at Sadie, Hayley and Jason, who were fidgeting and pacing. We were standing in the middle of the camp, which looked empty without the camper van. I repeated my message again, calculating Neal would still be in range of the signal.

  Hayley had tears on her cheeks. “Why’s he not answering?”

  I sighed. “I don’t -”

  The walkie-talkie crackled. Neal’s voice came through so we could all hear it. It sounded far away. “Ben, I heard what you’re saying. I’m sorry. You know I’m not changing my mind. It’s ... right thing. You know the Pure Bloods have everything to treat … in Oxford – hospitals, medicines, doctors. They might let us go after I give them the info. It’s ... risk worth taking – for me.”

  “Neal – come back. I will go instead. It was my idea.”

  “Don’t be stupid, Ben. Listen to me before ... out of range. This ... what I’m doing. I’m going to drive right … and … into Oxford, handing myself in to their main checkpoint – but I’m not giving them all our stuff in the van. I’ll drop off the important things about a mile down the road from you. You can pick them up in the other van. Got it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “One more thing, Ben. I suggest you leave the camp for somewhere new because if things go south the Pure Bloods might torture me to give you up. Get far away from here and don’t leave a note behind.” He paused for breath and I heard the growl of static. “Keep those kids alive, Ben. And promise me you won’t come after me or Angela.”

  “I won’t promise that,” I said. “But I will keep the kids safe. Neal, I forgive you for the sucker punch.”

  He chuckled. “You got to smarten up, Ben. I ... nev ... ha ... fallen f ... tha ... move. Tell the kids ... love them.”

  “They’re listening, Neal. Tell them yourself.”

  Hayley and Jason spoke into the walkie-talkie, begging Neal to come back. He said goodbye to them. Then he no longer answered us.

  He was gone.

  In an hour it would be dark. We decided to stay the night at the camp before deciding what to do in the morning – but first I refilled the zombie-proof van with petrol from our reserves – a couple of barrels we’d siphoned off months earlier – and then Jason and I drove down the forested road until we spotted the things Neal had left behind. They included weapons and our limited supply of tinned food and medicines and extra clothes. We packed everything into the van and returned to the camp, where Sadie and Hayley had prepared a cooked meal of venison roasted over a fire. It was delicious. I would have enjoyed it if Angela and Neal had been there to share it – but their absence was a palpable thing ruining the moment. We ate in silence, brooding over the events that had happened. We warmed ourselves around the fire as the cold night crept into the camp.

  We were down to just four of us.

  ENTRY SIXTEEN

  After Hayley and her brother Jason had gone to sleep in their tent, I stayed awake with Sadie, keeping warm near the fire. We talked for a while about Neal and Angela. We both wanted to rescue them from the Pure Bloods – but we could not work out a realistic plan. We fell into a silence, frustrated. For something to distract our depressing thoughts, I showed her the working laptop I’d found. She was amazed it still worked. She watched me writing on it – adding to my journal of our lives after the zombie apocalypse. “Can I read what you’ve written so far?”

  “Uh – okay.”

  Sadie read through my earlier entries numbered one to five, the ones I had posted online before my disastrous indecision resulted in Angela being shot. That had been after entry five. Sadie stopped reading them after about half an hour. “I didn’t know you used to be a banker. You didn’t tell me.”

  “Would you tell anyone that if you didn’t have to?”

  “No,” she said. “I’d definitely keep that a secret. Do you get any replies to this blog of yours?”

  “Not many,” I said. “There aren’t many people left alive with access to computers. Well – at least that’s my excuse. Maybe there are millions of people out there – but they just don’t want to contact a loser like me. Back in the day, I never was into social networking. It’s weird that I’m so into doing this now, when the world is messed up beyond recognition.”

  “So, why do it, if hardly anyone reads it?”

  I shrugged in the darkness. She didn’t see me do that and asked the question again.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I suppose I just want someone to know about us. In the future, when people have forgotten about the zombies and the bad times, they might forget if we don’t do something now, leaving a record. That’s why I’m doing it. It’s a journal for the living.”r />
  “I like the idea of this journal, Ben – but I hope you won’t post what we’re going to do before we do it. If the Pure Bloods ever read this stuff you’ve written tonight, for example, about us, they’ll figure out where we are. There aren’t exactly many country estates around here previously owned by celebrities. You need to leave it at least a week before posting entries in case they are monitoring the internet.”

  “Sadie, I promise I won’t endanger any of us. I won’t update my blog tonight any way. I’ll just write down what’s happened for my own benefit later.”

  “Good,” Sadie said, yawning. “Tired. I need to shut my eyes. Will you keep watch for a couple of hours?”

  “I’ll stay awake,” I said. “Get some sleep.”

  “I’ll swap you when you’re tired,” she said. “Don’t let me sleep all night. You need rest, too. We both need to be clear-headed in the morning.”

  “I’ll wake you in a few hours.”

  It was approaching midnight when Sadie slipped into her sleeping bag and dozed off by the fire. She looked so peaceful asleep. I continued typing my journal until my wrists ached and I could write no more. My eyes were blurry from staring at the laptop. I closed it and yawned. I was tired, too – but someone had to keep guard. My legs prickled with pins-and-needles when I stood. I shook off my weariness with squats and stretches.

  During my exercises an owl hooted, scaring the hell out of me. My heart started thudding. The owl hooted again. Where was it? The darkness beyond the orange glow of the dying fire was impenetrable. I could have believed there was literally nothing there if I had not been able to hear fluttering wings and strange rustles of the tree branches. Was there a zombie out there? I grabbed my crossbow and I walked around the camp’s perimeter, peering into the dark until my eyes adjusted to the silhouettes of the trees and bushes. I tensed every time I heard the tiniest sound. What was that? And that? The woods were alive with hidden things. What was creeping around in the dark? Just small animals probably – mice, rabbits, squirrels – scampering in the undergrowth, but I imagined they were starving zombies lumbering through the woods, drawn by the light of the fire and the sell of roasted venison. We had never encountered any zombies in the area – but I felt uneasy. I could taste my fear. It was bitter on my tongue. I’d spent enough time in the camp to know when something was not right. I trusted my instincts. They have saved my life. I hurried over to Sadie. She was snoring in a very unladylike manner. I hated waking her from a deep sleep – but my gut was telling me we didn’t have much time.

 

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