by Jana Janeway
A little unsettled by the comment, he nodded awkwardly. “Can I hug you? Or. . . would it be too painful?”
“You can.” She held her arms out to him, sinking into the friendly embrace when he gathered her to him. “If you weren’t in love with Jessica,” she asked after a few moments, “do you think we could’ve ever worked? As a couple?”
Not wanting to hurt her more than she already was, he offered her the words he thought she would want to hear. “Maybe. They say the basis of a good relationship is friendship, so, yeah. Maybe.”
“Thank you,” she whispered against his chest, shifting away from him seconds later. “Can I be alone now?”
“Sure.” He smiled kindly before turning and heading back to the room. As soon as he stepped through the door, he let out a long, slow breath.
“Is everything okay?” Jessica asked worriedly. He immediately walked over to her in response and pulled her into his arms.
“Yeah, but. . .” He glanced over at Josiah. “We’ll talk later, okay?”
“I just have to know. . .” Mindful that Josiah could hear them, she spoke in vague terms. “Has anything changed?”
“No,” he assured her. “I love you, and only you.”
“Should I. . . leave you guys alone?” Josiah edged towards the door, ill at ease. “Should I go see if Bibi is okay?”
“Thanks, Joe.” Expressing his gratitude with a brief, pointed look, Craddock waited until after Josiah acknowledged him with a nod and left before explaining things to Jessica. “You were right. She admitted that she has feelings for me, and has since pretty much the moment we met.”
She took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, gripping his shirt in her fist at the small of his back. “Is she feeling the Chimie thing?”
“She says she’s not.”
“Do you believe her?”
Though he was fairly certain that Bibi was hiding something from him, he wasn’t about to tell Jessica that. She was already too upset, and he didn’t want to add to her distress. So instead, he placated her. “Yes, I believe her.”
Since she had no reason to doubt him, she relaxed a little. “Will she be alright?”
“In time,” he said hopefully, repeating Bibi’s earlier words. “Right now, she’s emotional.”
“Understandably.” Feeling more at ease about Bibi’s wellbeing, she left the subject behind. “When are they going out for food?”
The underlying meaning of what she was asking was clear, bringing him to smile against her neck as he nuzzled. “Soon, I would think. Why? Are you getting hungry?”
“I’ve been hungry.”
“Me, too,” he breathed, causing goosebumps to rise across her skin, under his lips. “I’ll suggest it, when they come back inside.”
****
The debate had gone on for nearly thirty minutes, making both Jessica and Josiah, who were not involved in it, extremely uncomfortable.
Bibi was insistent, demanding that Craddock accompany her and Josiah when they went to pick up the take-out food, but when he politely refused to go, she seemed to shift into something resembling panic. Assuming this was due to Bibi’s recently declared feelings, Craddock dismissed her odd behavior, figuring she was just unhappy over the idea that he and Jessica would likely be intimate with each other once they were alone.
Bibi eventually left, with Josiah in tow, but she seemed to do so begrudgingly, while carrying a worried scowl on her face. Sensing that Jessica was unnerved by it all, Craddock took a few moments to assure her that nothing was seriously wrong, other than an acute case of jealousy.
She didn’t necessarily believe that, but before she could voice her concerns, she was distracted by his stalking towards her.
“We don’t have a lot of time,” he whispered, now a mere inch away from her. “We should set up the boundaries first.”
“I was just hoping to finish what we started earlier.”
He was hoping for that, too, but with as nervous as she was, that level of intimacy seemed likely to overwhelm her.
“Just to warn you,” he reached out, gently setting his hands on her waist, “the intensity gets stronger the further we go.”
She opened her mouth as if to respond, but instead she only took in a shaky breath and nodded, holding his gaze as she did so.
With a reassuring smile, he leaned in, pressing his lips softly to hers. The kiss started out as a tender brushing of lips, only to escalate to something far more passionate as they continued, and as hands began to roam.
“Our pants should stay on,” she suggested, breathless as she broke away, “because I think the temptation would be too great if they came off, but can we be shirtless?”
“Yes.” Curling his fingers around the hem of his shirt, he whipped it off in one quick motion, grinning back at her when she only stood there in response, staring. “Your turn,” he said, which seemed to bring her out of her trance.
She reached for her own shirt, but then froze, her nerves seeming to get the better of her.
“Want some help?” he asked in a soothing tone of voice, smiling when she, once again, simply nodded in answer.
Initially, he only gripped the hem of her shirt, hoping that by doing so, it would give her time to acclimate, but the slow approach seemed to unsettle her rather than put her at ease. Realizing this, he quickly began to lift, but he only got it as far as her midriff before the motel phone started ringing, startling them both.
Scowling back at one another, Craddock finally asked aloud what both of them were thinking. “Who would be calling?”
Shrugging, she asked, “Maybe it’s Bibi and Josiah?”
Stepping away from her, he snatched the phone up and raised it hesitantly to his ear. “Hello?”
“It’s me. I did something terrible! Run!”
Hearing the fear in her voice, his heart began racing. “What are you talking about, Bibi?”
“There’s no time!” Her shrill tone plunged Craddock into the same state of panic she was clearly in. “Run! Now! Get out of the room and run!”
“What did you do?” he demanded, signaling to Jessica to throw him his shirt.
“Craddock! Run! Before it’s too late!”
“To where?” he asked, yanking his shirt on, the receiver leaving his ear briefly as he did.
“To that industrial complex we passed, a few blocks up from the motel. We’ll meet you there! Hurry!”
When the phone went dead, Craddock slammed it down and turned to grab Jessica’s hand.
“What wrong?” she asked, dreading the answer, following along as he pulled her towards the door.
“I don’t exactly know, but we gotta go.” He tried to sound at least somewhat calm, for her sake, even though he was feeling anything but.
“Why? To where?” Once out of the room, he led her around to the back of the building.
“I think Bibi tipped off the Purists,” he told her, his voice betraying his concern and disappointment.
Shocked, she almost tripped over her own feet as she struggled to keep up with him. “What?! Why?! Why would she do that?!”
“I don’t know for sure,” he lied. He had a vague idea of the motivation behind his friend’s actions, but it made him ill to think about it. “But I sure as hell am going to find out!”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Staying out of sight as much as possible, attempting to avoid detection, Craddock and Jessica traveled behind buildings and down any off-street alleyway they could find. Though they couldn’t see any activity that suggested they were being hunted by the Purists, the fear that they could run into the enemy at any moment was suffocating, especially when they were out in the open.
The empty field next to the industrial complex where they were to meet up with Bibi and Josiah offered zero cover, so Craddock was at a near run as they crossed it, dragging Jessica behind him, her barely able to keep up due to the overgrowth of weeds and foliage that scraped at their clothing and skin. Finally at the edge of the aban
doned plot of land, Craddock helped Jessica over the broken down chain link fence, then climbed and hopped over himself, grabbing her hand again as he headed for the back of the nearest building. Aiming towards the least busy area, he glanced around for any sign of Purists, or the car they’d been using since fleeing the rock quarry.
Spotting the station wagon in the distance, Craddock led the way towards it, his anger swelling the closer they got, as Bibi became more than just a blurry, distant figure.
Jessica held tighter to his hand, almost being dragged behind him. The intensity of his rage was frightening, made worse by her ability to feel it so easily through the Chimie that seemed to be connecting them. She wasn’t afraid, though, or at least not for herself. She was afraid for Bibi.
“Please, don’t hit her.”
Craddock essentially ignored her, dropping her hand before storming towards the car in a threatening manner. “What the hell is the matter with you?!” he yelled, as soon as Bibi exited the vehicle.
She didn’t even flinch in response, her eyes downcast as she whispered her apology. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?!” he snapped, his body rigid as he confronted her. “Fuck! They would have killed us, Bibi! And you know it!”
“I told them not to hurt you.” She glanced at Jessica through her peripheral vision, briefly, before returning her gaze to the ground.
“Oh, that’s just fucking great! So you were perfectly okay with the idea that they would have killed Jessica! Why didn’t you just put the gun to her head yourself?!”
“I’m sorry,” she repeated.
“Fuck I’m sorry! Shit! What the hell were you thinking?! That with Jessica dead and out of the way, we would get together? That’s it, isn’t it? That’s what you thought!”
“I’m sorry.”
When her pooling tears began to fall, Craddock growled and stepped away, throwing his arms in the air in frustration. His eyes wandered about, just to have something but her to look at, before he eventually landed his stern gaze back on her.
“We should just leave you here! I can’t even trust you now!”
“We can’t just leave her here, Doc,” Josiah whined, now out of the car.
“Yes, you can,” Bibi whispered solemnly. “I deserve to be left behind.”
“We’re not going to leave you behind,” Craddock grumbled, after several long seconds of only glaring at her. “I’m pissed as hell at you right now, but I sure don’t want to see you dead! Which is exactly what’s going to happen if we just leave you here and the fucking Purists catch up to you!”
“I really am sorry.” Bibi swiped at her tears, finally meeting Craddock’s eyes. “That’s why I called you to warn you! I had a change of heart.”
“You think that makes what you did okay? You shouldn’t have called them in the first place! And for what?” he challenged her. “You said you wanted me to be happy! Was that just bullshit? Did you honestly think killing Jessica was going to make me happy?”
“I was hurting when I made the call. I wasn’t thinking. I just—I just want to be the one to—to make you happy.” She dropped her face in her hands, crying harder than before.
Struggling with his emotions, he was torn between feeling some sympathy for her and sheer hatred. “Just get in the car, Bibi! We’ll deal with this later! When we’re not in danger!”
Nodding, she moved back towards the car, slipping into the seat in slow motion, her eyes planted firmly on the dash in front of her as everyone else climbed into the vehicle.
****
The air was thick and tense, awkward and strained, everyone remaining silent as Josiah drove without destination. He took the first freeway onramp he could find, forcing his attention onto the road in front of him.
Minutes ticked on like hours, the extreme emotional atmosphere warping time itself. As Bibi cried softly in the front passenger’s seat, Craddock held Jessica closely to him in the back, her tears falling silently as the gravity of what had nearly happened began to sink in.
“You lied before, didn’t you?” Jessica’s quietly posed question surprised everyone, including herself. She knew it was likely a mistake to ask it, but she was too curious, enough to risk the probable repercussions. “You are feeling that Chimie thing towards Craddock, aren’t you?”
Without so much as glancing behind her, Bibi nodded. “It doesn’t make what I did right, though.”
“Maybe not,” Jessica replied, “but I can understand the motivation, at least. The emotions with this are insanely intense, and with it not being reciprocated, I can only imagine the desperation.”
“Jessica,” Craddock whispered, “what she did was inexcusable! You have the right to be angry with her!”
“I made a mistake.” Bibi turned in her seat, to better face Craddock. “I said I was sorry!”
“Sorry doesn’t mean shit, Bibi! And what you did wasn’t a mistake! It was cold, and calculating, and brutal—!”
The phone ringing interrupted his rant, startling everyone in the car. Bibi reached into her pocket to retrieve it, but then immediately handed it over to Craddock.
Snatching it from her hand, he clicked it on, curbing his tone before offering the standard greeting.
“Craddock!”
Hearing Marcy’s familiar voice, he sighed with relief. “Marcy, please tell me everything is okay.”
“You tell me!” she snapped. “The word we just got is that the Purists were tipped off to your whereabouts, by Bibi!”
Craddock continued to glare at Bibi, even after she turned back around in her seat. “It’s a long story,” he said to Marcy, “but we’re all okay, and back on the road. Just tell me what happens now.”
“We have your new identities ready, we’re just waiting for information on the rendezvous location. Did she use this cell phone to call them?”
“I don’t know,” he muttered, his anger spiking again as he asked, “Did you use this phone, Bibi, when you called the fucking Purists?”
Slowly, distinctly, she nodded, then dropped her chin to her chest out of shame.
“Yeah,” Craddock said into the phone, his jaw clenched. The free hand he used to gently clasp Jessica’s was the only part of his body not tense and rigid with anger.
Marcy heaved a burdened sigh. “You’ll have to ditch the phone, then. They have the number now, and cell phones can be traced by area, by the tower the call connects through.”
“Without identification, I’m only going to be able to get one of those stupid pay as you go things.”
“That’s fine,” Marcy said, dismissing both the concern and the subject. “Why did she do it?”
“Long story short,” because he just didn’t have the strength to tell the long version of the story, “unrequited love can make you do stupid things.”
“Who is she in love with?” she asked, sounding shocked. “You?”
“Apparently,” he muttered, kissing the top of Jessica’s head to cool himself down a little.
“Do you want me to arrange for alternate transportation for her, when we meet up?”
Craddock shook his head, not that she could see him do so. “No. We’ll continue to travel together. But if she so much as blinks wrong,” that statement was more directed at Bibi than into the phone, “I’ll drop her ass off at the nearest Registry branch office so fast! Like an abandoned baby on the steps of an orphanage, I swear to God!”
Bibi acknowledged him with a solemn nod, still facing forward, hiding herself from his wrath.
“You’re more trusting than I am,” Marcy said.
“I’ve known her for as many years as I haven’t,” he explained himself. “I’m willing to give her another chance. But this is the only one you get, do you hear me, Bibi Paige?”
“I hear you,” she whispered. He sighed in exasperation as he returned his attention to his phone call.
“Okay, I’ll let you guys deal with all that. We need to get off the phone for now. Get off the route you’re on as soon as
we hang up, then get a new phone and call me back. My number should’ve shown up on the caller ID.”
Craddock moved the phone away from his ear for a moment, checking the LCD display. “Yeah, I have it. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”
He slipped the phone into his pocket after ending the call. “Josiah, we need to get off this freeway, get ourselves a good distance away from here, then find a place that sells pay as you go phones, ‘kay?”
“‘Kay.” Josiah glanced at Bibi, briefly, before returning his eyes to the road. An awkward silence set in, like that which permeated the car before the angry words and phone call interrupted it.
With his arm still wrapped around her, Craddock pulled Jessica tighter to him, his anger easing slightly as she grazed her thumb across his knee in a soothing, rhythmic pattern, which he mimicked across her arm.
“Explain something to me?” Futilely, Jessica whispered, even though there was no way to keep the forthcoming conversation private. “If this Chimie thing is about finding a soulmate, how can one person feel it, and the other one not?”
“The soulmate theory is one of many,” Craddock answered. “There are several out there, because there’s no real scientific explanation for it. Some say it’s about compatibility. Centuries ago, they thought it had to do with preventing inbreeding. If you were at all related, even somewhat distantly, you would not feel Chimie.
“No one knows exactly what it is or why it happens. And, unfortunately,” he stole a glance towards Bibi, “it can be one sided.”
“So it’s not absolute, that two people will both feel it towards each other?” she asked. He shook his head in answer. “I’m sorry, Bibi, that you’re going through this.”
Craddock’s snapped response surprised her. “Don’t apologize to her! She doesn’t deserve it!”
“Craddock,” Jessica sighed, “I know you’re angry, but think for a minute. How would you feel, if I had turned you down?”
“I wouldn’t have tried to have someone killed!” He offset his angry words by nuzzling into her hair.
“Maybe not, but love in general can make you do crazy things. Add to that this Chimie thing, which is so God awful intense, I want to dance with joy and slit my own wrists simultaneously. . .” Trailing off, she concluded with, “I can understand the desperation, is all.”