by Izzy Sweet
All around me people screaming their heads off in preparation of a slaughterfest. I am blown away for a moment by the sheer number of people here screaming in the arena. But then my body starts moving, it is so time to fight.
To do something violent.
To cause some motherfucking pain.
I step up the stairs to the ring and stand there as they go over one last check of my body and gloves. They smear some Vaseline over my eyebrows and I am ready to go.
Entering the ring, I walk over to my corner. Well, my side of the ring as there isn’t really a corner.
Wade stands across from me in the ring, watching me, judging me. He has had a long hard road to this point himself. But so have I. Fuck him, time to put him out of his misery.
I am crushing his fucking dreams tonight.
I hear my guys standing behind me, shouting last-minute instructions. They are just as sure as me. Good, because I got shit to do here, it’s going to be business as fucking usual—me putting my hand up in the air.
“Kick Wade’s ass, baby!” I hear Grace scream right as there is a lull in the crowd’s noise.
Turning back to the crowd, I spot my girl turning bright red as the people around her laugh loudly. Avery and Mandy are there cheering with her though so she soon blows a kiss at me.
Fuck yeah, that’s right. Time to make a paycheck.
Slapping my hands on the sides of my face, I bounce up on my toes.
Finally, the announcer brings us to the middle with the ref and does his little thing in introducing us. The ref reminds us of the rules, then has us touch gloves.
Back in my corner, I hate this waiting point. I want it to start. I want to get into the fucking mix.
“Are you ready?” The ref asks me.
Does he really have to fucking ask?
“Yes!” I yell out.
“Are you ready?” the ref asks Wade, getting the same response I gave.
The ref stands there for a moment, letting it build then says as his hand comes down, “Let’s do it boys!”
No more excuses!
I charge across the cage to meet him in the middle, two fucking huge men set to do bloody work. I half expected this. He has been saying how I am too slow to do much when I get charged.
My right hand streaks out across the small divide to catch him on the side of chin.
It’s a fucking beautiful fist if I do say so myself. It connects so solidly that my hand feels the vibrations all the way up my shoulder.
Then he drops down to his knees, his eyes rolling back into his head.
Shit.
I dive down after him as I keep swinging, but it’s not even necessary. My body is plowed into by the ref as he defends the clearly knocked out man on the mat.
What the fuck? This isn’t how this should have gone!
Looking down, I shout, “No, get the fuck up, Wade. We got rounds to go!”
No use really, though, the motherfucker is out cold.
The crowd is stunned in the seats. I hear nothing from them or my side of the cage. It’s like the whole world is pausing for us three men in the ring. Well, fuck!
“Fuck!” I yell out.
“Way to go, baby!” Grace screams right as the crowd roars that their bloodlust is not sated.
They wanted a war. They got a bitch falling to his knees from a single punch.
Walking over to my side of the cage, the ring is opened up as people file in. Some to make sure Wade is okay, and the rest are officials and the president to give an interview with me. Chase, Brett and Dale walk into the cage to congratulate me.
“Way to go man!” Chase laughs and I just frown.
“That’s bullshit! What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I was all set for a fucking war.”
Leave it to Dale to ruin it all even further. “Don’t worry, cupcake, tomorrow we start training for your next fight. And since you decided to complain, I got something special for ya.”
Shit.
They get me before the camera right as I am giving the stink eye to Dale.
Changing my focus I look at the camera.
“What a way to have a fight! What are your thoughts, Bear?”
“It was kinda anti-climactic…” I grumble because it sure as fuck was.
Thankfully the interview is quick just like the fight and they let me say something before they turn it over to the commentators.
“This one was for my girls, Grace and Hope, and for one special lady. Krissy, this is for you! Show the world how hard you can fight, because I am in your corner!”
Pulling away from the crowd, I walk out of the cage and head towards the wall where Grace is standing there, screaming her heart out for me. Her cheeks are red from how loud she is, but she is so beautiful to me. Pulling her over the wall, I wrap my arm around her waist as we walk back to the curtains.
* * *
Two nights after the fight, my cellphone blares a loud happy trumpeting sound. It’s the ringtone I set for Krissy.
Shit.
Picking up the phone, I ask, “Shit, what’s going on Krissy? You in pain again? Want me to call your mom?”
“Hhh…Hi… Max...” This is a different girl’s voice, there are sniffles and a definite stuffy nose sound with it.
My heart is dropping faster than it is beating. “Hey, Julie.”
“Max…She slipped into a coma this morning about five a.m. and she stopped breathing about a half hour ago.”
“Oh.”
Not much more is said. I tell her to get me the details as soon as she can.
Hanging up the phone, I look around myself.
I am completely alone. Alone.
No one here with me.
Completely alone and should still be celebrating my win.
Chapter Seventeen
Grace
I know Max is disappointed with the way his first fight played out but I couldn’t be more relieved. One hit, all it took was one fucking hit from Max’s massive fist and the guy was down on the mat.
I screamed so hard and for so long that night, it’s been a few days and my throat is still raw from it.
Max is fighting for the heavyweight belt in three weeks and his dream lives on. It’s totally awesome, yet…
“Mommy?” Hope gives me a confused look as I gather her up in my arms and hug her tightly, pulling her away from her paper and crayons.
After another awesome weekend together, Max called me Monday morning and shared the news about Krissy passing. My heart aches for her and her family. And for him. Sometimes I really don’t understand this fucking world. How can something so terrible happen to someone so young and innocent?
I hug Hope tighter and bury my face in her blonde curls.
“Mommy,” she squirms and tries to pull away. I hug her for another moment before releasing her and letting her go back to her drawing.
I know Max has been keeping in contact with Krissy since he flew out to visit her. I’m pretty sure they talked to each other every day over the phone and she’s a big reason he intensified his training. She’s had a huge impact on him, and he wanted to win for her.
He’s flying out today for her funeral, and I really wish I could go with him but I can’t. It’s Carson’s weekend, and I’m afraid if I fly out he’ll try to pull something. For obvious reasons I don’t trust him, and I still don’t know what the fuck his end game is.
After packing Hope up for her weekend, I’m strapping her in the car when my phone rings.
“Hey, baby,” I answer, shutting Hope’s door with my hip.
“Hey,” Max sighs. “Where you at?”
“Just hopping in the car,” I answer, opening my door and sliding behind the wheel.
“Call me if he gives you any problems.”
“I will,” I respond automatically. I don’t want him to worry but I sure as hell won’t be sharing any of my Carson problems with him. The big guy has enough to deal with as it is without adding my baby daddy drama to the mix.
> “Good,” he says simply, and there’s this long, heavy silence before he says. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” I say, my throat tightening. Fuck, I hate that he’s going through this without me. I wish more than anything I could be there to support him.
“Give Hope a hug for me.”
“I will. She misses you too.”
“I miss you, Bear!” Hope calls out from the backseat.
“I miss you too, little one. Be good for your mommy,” he tells her when I hold out the phone for her to hear.
“I will,” she calls out cheerfully.
“It’s time to board. I’ll call you when I land.”
“Okay,” I sigh and start up my car. “I’ll talk to you later.”
Max grunts in agreement.
“I love you,” just pops out of my mouth.
I can hear the intake of his breath just as I realize what I just said.
“I gotta go. Bye!” I rush out and hang up, my heart racing a mile a minute. Setting my phone down in my lap it starts ringing again.
Fuck, did I seriously just say that?
With what he’s going through I can’t just ignore him, but I’m so not ready to talk about what I let slip. Picking up my phone I send him a quick text telling him I’ll call him later.
I hold my breath waiting for him to respond before I pull out.
I love you too, he texts back.
The breath just whooshes out of me, and despite all the terrible shit that’s going on I’m smiling the entire drive to Carson’s.
* * *
After dropping off Hope, my weekend is long and lonely. All I do is work, talk to Mandy on the phone and of course talk to Max.
Our first phone call is a little awkward though.
“So… you love me, huh?” Is the first thing out of his mouth when I answer his call.
My throat tightens and my heart thuds behind my ribs.
“Yeah, I think I do…”
With both him and Hope gone, I’ve had the whole day to think about it. And even though we’ve only been seeing each other for about a month now, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with the big hairy guy. I’m totally crazy about him, in fact.
“You think you do?” he asks, getting that growl to his voice that drives me wild.
“Yeah… well…” I stammer and have to stop to swallow down the lump forming in my throat.
I’m crazy nervous about this. I’ve never told a guy I loved him before. Max is the first. And I didn’t even do it intentionally, I didn’t even realize it until I said it. It just kind of popped out of my mouth on its own like it was totally natural.
But I do love him. I know it’s right. I feel it pumping in the quick beat of my heart. I feel it warming in the very marrow of my bones.
Ever since I’ve met Max, he’s filled my life with joy and orgasms.
Seriously, how could I not love the guy?
“Grace,” he growls, losing his patience.
“I guess it all depends if you love me too,” I say breathlessly.
I can barely breathe; my lungs are struggling to keep air in them. There’s just something about this that feels like jumping off a cliff or something.
“I love you,” he says firmly and without hesitation.
“You do?” I gasp. I don’t why a part of me doubts it. I suppose it’s because he brings so much to the table and all I seem to bring is a lot of Carson baggage.
“Yes, I love you. Now tell me you love me back.”
“I love you, Max.”
“Say it again,” he growls.
“I love you, Max, and I miss you. I wish more than anything I could be there with you.”
“Me too, baby, me too. When I get back we have a lot to talk about.”
* * *
I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy about the weekend coming to an end before. I’m on my way to pick up Hope at Carson’s, and Max should be getting in soon. I can’t wait to see him and tell him I love him in person.
I’m so excited, I hop out of my car as soon as I pull up to Carson’s house, meaning to just grab Hope quick so we can go meet up with Max. But Carson is waiting on the front porch for me and Hope is nowhere to be seen.
“Um?” My steps slow as I approach the porch. “Where is Hope?”
“She’s inside coloring,” Carson says, jerking his chin towards his front door.
“Okay?” I frown and check the time on my phone to make sure I’m not early. “Can you get her, please? We really need to get going…”
“No,” he says firmly and I blink at him in surprise. “You and I need to talk.”
“Carson…” I sigh in exasperation. I’m really not in the mood for his shit right now.
“I’m done waiting, Grace. You’re not getting her back until you talk me.”
“Fuck!” I snap at him. “Are you serious?”
Legally he can’t do this, and I’m getting sick and tired of him threatening to not give her back out of spitefulness.
“I just want to talk, Grace…”
I shake my head in disbelief. “So you’re blackmailing me?”
“Yes,” Carson answers as if he’s completely unashamed of his behavior. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my family…”
I glance down at my phone, seriously considering calling the authorities. If Carson won’t give Hope back now that his visitation is over technically it’s considered kidnapping.
“Don’t do it, Grace,” he warns me as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. “If you call for help this is going to get real ugly.”
“It’s already fucking ugly,” I snap.
Carson spreads his hands out and says, “I just want you to talk to me.”
I could call the cops, tell them he’s violating the custody agreement and get him on kidnapping… but he just might hand her over right before they arrive. The hope though that this could give me enough basis to change the custody agreement is tempting.
Before I make up my mind he’s saying, “I have something I want to show you…”
He turns and grabs a folder off the little table sitting by his front door. Turning back, he extends his arm, holding the folder out for me to take. “I think you’ll find this very interesting.”
I shake my head. My gut is telling me not to take the folder. Whatever is in it can’t be good.
“I don’t have time for this. I’m giving you one last chance to give me Hope or I’m calling the cops because you’re violating the custody agreement.”
Carson throws the folder angrily at me and it falls just shy of my feet. The front of the folder flaps open and pictures are scattered all over the ground. I glance at them, not really seeing them at first.
“My lawyer has informed me that I’ve gathered enough evidence to take away your custody.”
“What?” I frown in confusion. Is he trying to say he can take away my custody? Is he crazy?
“Take a look,” he points at the pictures on the ground. “All your recent exploits are right there.”
Bending down, I pick up the picture closest to me and examine it closely. My blood chills and it feels like someone just dumped a bucket of ice water on me.
What the hell? It’s a picture of me, Mandy, and the ring girls in my car, on our way to the club. It’s looks like one of the girls is drinking in the backseat.
I pick up another picture and another. Most of the pictures are of me and of the few nights I was out, doing fun adult things. Some of them have Mandy in them but most of them have Max so they must have been taken in just the past few weeks.
“You have someone tailing me?” I ask in disbelief. “You have someone taking pictures of me?”
“Yes. I’ve gathered enough evidence to prove you’re a neglectful, incompetent mother.”
I don’t understand what’s going on. The universe doesn’t make sense anymore.
“How? Why? Because I went out a couple of nights?”
The pictures fall from my finge
rs, fluttering to the ground. Pictures of me wrapped around Max, sucking his face off as he carries me inside his house. Pictures of us hiding in the shadows outside of Thursdays, squeezing in a few kisses and caresses before saying goodbye for the night.
“No,” Carson says and he smiles now. I’ve never seen a smile so slimy. “Because you’re incapable of providing the same amount of income and stability I can provide.”
“You’re insane if you think you can do this.” There’s no way he can use any of this to take Hope away from me. Can he?
Carson frowns and his face reddens with anger. “I’m not crazy, I’m just looking out for my family.”
“And you think the best thing for Hope is to take her from me?”
“No, I don’t want to take her from you,” he denies.
“Then what do you want?”
“I want you to be with me. I want to be a real family.”
“We could have been a family but you ran away!” I snap. I just can’t take any more of this crap.
“I didn’t run away; I went to college!” he roars back. “You were supposed to wait for me.”
That’s it, he’s certifiably crazy and there’s no point in continuing to argue with him. Shaking my head sadly, I have to take several deep, calming breaths before I tell him. “Bring me Hope or I’m calling the cops.”
“Grace…” Carson frowns.
I lift my phone and wave it around in warning. “Do it! I’m not playing!”
Carson stares at me for a long minute and I just glare back at him. Finally, he nods his head and walks inside.
I have to bite the inside of my cheek, hard, to keep from screaming.
While I wait for Carson to reappear with Grace, my eyes drift back down to the ground and all the sneaky pictures he took of me. I hate them, I hate that they exist. I feel violated that he hired a creep to follow me… to stalk me. But I hate leaving them on the ground even more for someone to find. Bending down, I start gathering them up. I’m stuffing them in the folder when Carson reappears.
“Mommy!” Hope cries out and runs down the front steps, throwing herself at me.
I kiss the top of her head and ask her, “Are you all right?”