Ryder said very quietly, “No, I can’t swear.”
“What you refuse to admit is that you breached her maidenhead, that you took a virgin. She is no harlot, and well you know it. I have told you what I intend. I have given you that much courtesy. At least I’m offering the poor girl a choice, which is more than you’ve thought to do.”
Ryder picked up a small pebble and flung it toward the water. It bounced in the surf. “Just how do you plan to protect her when Sherman Cole comes to arrest her so that he can hang her for murdering her uncle?”
Samuel Grayson looked away from Ryder, out over the sea. “So you believe it better for you to take her away from here along with Jeremy? She would be your mistress, that, or she would be completely alone with no money, no friends, no way to support herself? That is some solution, I warrant!
“God save us all from men who think the world is theirs to command and women there for their selfish pleasures. I have also observed your notion of honor, sir; it burrows deep into your pride, into the years upon years of privilege and wealth you and your family have enjoyed. But the other? The worth of a single girl? Her honor? Her reputation? There is none, there is only your domination of her and her surrender to you, this competition you and all young men revel in. And then you walk away, thinking no more about the girl and what you’ve done to her. No, it will be done my way. If Sherman Cole arrests Sophie, why then, I don’t know. But by God I will think of something. Good day.” Samuel strode away from him, striking his riding crop against his thigh.
Ryder stared after the man. He felt as if he’d been verbally thrashed by his father. His father had been better at it as he recalled, but Samuel wasn’t bad. He snorted as he watched Samuel mount his horse.
He leaned back against the tree trunk again and closed his eyes. Of course he didn’t see the entire world as his to command, only a small bit of it perhaps. So what was wrong with that? He wasn’t selfish; he wasn’t greedy. He took but he didn’t take too much. He didn’t hurt people. And he did give, certainly he did. Jane could tell anyone that as well as his sister, Sinjun.
Was he so unfeeling and selfish? Had his aims been all that ignoble? Was he really the leader of the hounds? No, all that nonsense about proving his virility was just that, nonsense. He was himself and he wasn’t all that bad. He was honorable because it was bred into him, Samuel was right about that, so what was the matter with it? But he felt guilty nonetheless and he felt a fraud, which wasn’t fair.
“Well, hell,” he said to a incredibly huge green turtle who was making a sluggish trail toward the water’s edge. “Well, hell,” he said again.
Samuel Grayson looked at Sophie with bleak eyes. Ryder had been right. She’d refused him without hesitation, but very nicely. She looked tired and somehow defeated. He hated it but didn’t know what to do about it.
She tried to smile at him, but there were tears in her eyes. “You know I cannot,” she said again, for he had remained silent. It seemed he’d used up all his words on Ryder Sherbrooke.
He said finally, his voice tired as his soul, “No, I don’t understand. This shame of yours, it is nonsense. I am not a randy young man with expectations of purity, Sophia. I would that you reconsider.”
Again, without hesitation, she said, “No, I’m sorry, Samuel.” His name felt odd on her lips, for he’d been Mr. Grayson to her the entire four years she’d lived on Jamaica, but when a man proposed, she supposed it wouldn’t be polite to treat him like your father.
“I apologize if this embarrasses you, Sophie, but I know about what Ryder did to you. I know this is your shame. I am sorry for it.”
“He told you?”
“No, certainly not. But he knows that I know. Is it possible you are with child?”
She paled and clutched a chair back. She was shaking her head violently even as she whispered, “Oh no, I couldn’t be, it wouldn’t be fair. Oh Lord, what am I to do?”
“You can marry me and be safe. I don’t care if you are pregnant with his child.”
She marveled at the goodness in him, the genuine caring for her, and knew regardless that she couldn’t marry him, not ever. “No, I would never do that, never.”
Samuel sighed. “Ryder was right.”
She stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“He said you would refuse me because he’d bedded you.”
She laughed, actually laughed, and Samuel stared at her dumbfounded. “Well,” she managed at last, “at least he believes me to have some honor. Me, the whore of Jamaica! Ah, but it is too much.”
Ryder heard that laughter and found himself walking swiftly toward it. It was strained and he felt the wildness of it to the very depths of him, a barely contained fierceness. It scared him to his toes. He quickly opened the door of the drawing room only to draw up in some embarrassment. He didn’t know who he’d expected to be with her, but not Samuel Grayson. Good God, Samuel had said something to bring that on?
“Oh,” he said. “Samuel, Sophie. Excuse me.”
“No, Ryder, it isn’t necessary,” Samuel said. “You were right. She won’t have me. Now, I must needs see to some work. No, stay here, I will be off. I believe I will ride into Montego Bay and see what Sherman Cole is up to. Perhaps Thomas has been caught.” Ryder didn’t say a word until Samuel had closed the door after him.
Ryder felt a spurt of relief so profound that he trembled with it. He didn’t want to accept the relief because accepting made him so furious with himself that he wanted to howl. He looked at her standing there in one of her modest muslin gowns, her feet bare as an urchin’s, no bandages now, and he said, “I assume all those sweet girlish gowns I brought over from Camille Hall for you were from your precottage days?”
Her eyes narrowed. Her hands fisted at her sides. Then she smiled at him, one of those drowsy-eyed smiles, and when she spoke, her voice was soft and mocking, and his body reacted before he could stop it. “Ah, Ryder, certainly they’re from before. Boring little confections, aren’t they? Could you ever doubt it? But what was I to do? You left all my other gowns at Camille Hall. Why don’t you pretend that I’m wearing a bright scarlet satin cut nearly to my waist and come here and fondle me again? Be bold, Ryder, be a man and rip the gown right off me. Wouldn’t you enjoy that? A real man asserting his strength and power. Goodness, it makes me shudder just to think about it. You could bend me back over your right arm. Really, don’t I deserve a reward for saving your poor Mr. Grayson from a fate worse than death?”
He didn’t move. Then he cursed. Then he shouted at her, “Stop that damned act!”
“Act? You mean you don’t think I’m a harlot anymore?”
“Yes, no. I don’t know, curse you.”
“Did dear Samuel begin to change your mind?”
“No.”
Just as suddenly as she’d assumed the polished harlot role, she became more vulnerable than he could bear. Because she couldn’t control it, and she didn’t want him to see that vulnerability, she whirled about and walked quickly to the veranda. But he had seen it and followed on her heels. She was wringing her hands as she said in a terrified whisper he barely heard, “What if I am pregnant?”
He did not pretend to misunderstand her. “Did you never think of that with all the other men? Did you always take precautions with them?”
“No.”
More of her verbal confusion. He should have told her that if she were pregnant, it certainly wasn’t with his seed. And if she were, just by chance, as innocent as she claimed to be, why then, they should be speaking of a possible religious birth.
He should tell her that he hadn’t taken her. He should, really, but he didn’t. Because if he did tell her she just might marry Samuel Grayson, and he knew he couldn’t allow that to happen.
“When was your last monthly flow?”
She jerked with shock. He watched, fascinated, as she forced herself back into control. She looked him straight in the face, didn’t say a word, then turned and walked quickly away.
> He frowned after her. Her look had been one of utter scorn; she’d needed no words, for her expression had been quite enough. He should teach her how to sneer. She would do it well.
When Samuel Grayson returned to Kimberly four hours later, he was sweating profusely and he looked frantic. He said to both Emile and Ryder without preamble, “Sherman Cole is digging up Burgess’s body tomorrow morning. It’s the talk of Montego Bay. Thomas is still at large. Cole says that after he arrests Sophia, he will offer money to Thomas to come out of hiding and testify against her. He says he doesn’t believe the story of Thomas coming here to murder you, Ryder. He also claims you were lying about Burgess being shot. I heard he is paying a lot of money to three men to dig Burgess up and examine him. He says he will arrest her immediately, try her, and hang her, all within the week. He says that none of us can stop it.”
“So,” Emile said, “the end is near. No matter what I think of her personally, I don’t wish to see her hung.”
His father snorted in disgust. “You blind young puppy! Well, Ryder, soon you won’t have to worry about her. Soon it will be just Jeremy.” He turned to his son. “I need you to be at Camille Hall when Cole goes there tomorrow morning. We must have warning. Go tell Sophie to stay close to the house.”
After Emile had left the salon, Samuel said, “Now there is no choice. I will tell you, Ryder. There is the Harbinger, a big stout barkentine, in port right now. It is returning to England with the morning tide. Sophia and Jeremy must be on that ship.”
“Yes,” Ryder said. “They must.” He grinned, splaying his hands in front of him. “I know, I know. I cannot send her to England with no protection. No money. No one to look after her.”
“You cannot as yet leave Jamaica.”
“I know, not until all this guardianship business is completed. There’s Sherman Cole to be dealt with, of course, as well as that mangy bastard, Thomas, to be found.”
“Then what will you do?”
“It appears my choices have just dwindled alarmingly. Get the vicar over here and I will wed her. She and Jeremy will be aboard that ship even as Sherman Cole is over digging at Camille Hall. Once they reach England, she and Jeremy will go to Northcliffe Hall, to my family. They will take care of them.”
“And when you return to England, Ryder?”
“Don’t push, old man. You’ve got your way. You’ve saved the girl, using me to do it.”
“She will make you a fine wife.”
Ryder cursed him and left to go find his soon-to-be bride.
Marriage! It was a truly appalling thought, but there was no hope for it. He thought of his brother, the earl, and prayed that his own recent marriage was shaping up, but in truth he’d had grave doubts when he’d left England, despite the pluckiness of Douglas’s new bride. All because he’d come to Jamaica he would find himself leg-shackled. His life had been progressing just as he’d ordered it up.
He sighed. He might as well get it over with. He found her in the late afternoon at Monmouth Beach. Her mare, Opal, was grazing nearby on swamp grass. She was seated in the shade of an Indian almond tree, staring out over the water, her legs crossed, tomboy style.
He loosed his own horse, then strode to her, stood over her, his hands on his hips, and said, “I rode to Camille Hall. They said you had been there, overseeing the indoor work. You shouldn’t have gone back there yet. You’re not well enough.”
She didn’t look up. “Nonsense,” she said.
He leaned down and jerked up the skirt of her riding habit. “Then why aren’t you wearing shoes?”
She slapped her petticoats and skirt back down. “Go to the devil, Ryder. Camille Hall belongs to Jeremy now. He is still there. In truth I became overtired and came here to rest a bit. Now, what do you want? More truths from the resident harlot’s mouth?”
“No.”
“Then what do you want?”
He looked at her with acute dislike. He shook his head and said, “As of thirty minutes ago, you and I have no choice in the way we must now proceed. You will come back to Kimberly with me. You have much to do before tomorrow morning.”
“What the devil are you talking about?” she asked with a cold indifference that nearly made his eyes cross with rage.
“Look at me, damn you!”
She sighed and looked up. “Your language is foul. You’re also standing with your back against the sun and I can’t really see your face. Forget your display of manliness and sit down, Ryder.”
He did and crossed his legs, like hers. “You will listen to me now, Sophie. I dislike you speaking to me like that. That was no manliness display; I was just standing there, like anyone would just stand there.”
She nearly smiled. She began to sift sand through her fingers. He truly didn’t perceive the natural arrogance that was deep within him. All wish to smile vanished as he continued, saying, “Now, there is no other solution. I have thought and thought, but it does no good. I have argued with myself. I have brooded, a pastime I abhor. I have presented myself with all the reasons why it is the height of foolishness, the very depths of idiocy, but nothing has worked. Very well, then, I will have to marry you.”
She stared at him. “You’re mad.”
“Yes. However, I will do it. I can’t seem to find another choice for myself. I will marry you. You and Jeremy will be aboard a ship leaving for England early tomorrow morning. You will wed me this evening. When you reach England, you and Jeremy will journey to my family at Northcliffe Hall, and they will take care of you until I come home.”
“You’re doing this because you’re afraid I’m with child? Your child?”
“No. Sherman Cole is digging up your uncle tomorrow. Then he will arrest you. He’s even offered money to Thomas to come out of hiding to testify against you. Therefore you will marry me, and you and Jeremy will be long gone by the time Cole is rubbing his fat hands together contemplating having you completely in his power. No, don’t say anything. You have to leave Jamaica. Ah, do you want to know what you’re getting in a husband? You won’t have a title because I’m the second son, as you know. However, I am rich enough even for you, I imagine. Hell, now that I own Kimberly Hall, I daresay I can give you whatever your heart desires.”
“Excellent. All right, my heart desires that I will be Jeremy’s guardian and that it will be I who will see he receives a gentleman’s education.”
“Don’t do this, there is no time for further games on your part. We will wed. It will be done. Be quiet. I’m not jesting about Cole and his intentions.”
She jumped to her feet. “I can’t believe this. Are you certain? But—” She stared down at him, silent now. She turned and picked up her skirts and ran down the beach.
“Sophie! Come back here! Your damned feet!”
She ran faster. He, fool that he was, was worried because her damned feet weren’t yet completely healed. He ran after her, and because he was stronger, his legs longer and unhampered by petticoats and skirts, he caught her quickly. He grabbed her arm and jerked her around to face him. He pulled her up against him and kissed her hard.
She struggled and jerked and tugged, but even when he released her mouth, he didn’t let her go. “Do you prefer the hangman to marriage with me?”
She shook her head.
“Ah, but before the hangman you would doubtless have Sherman Cole slavering all over you when he rapes you.”
“You don’t have to say anything more.”
“Good, because I was growing a bit impatient.”
“This is absurd. I am very ordinary, Ryder. I am common. I have no secrets, nothing to interest you. I’m not ignorant because I have read a lot, a pastime I know gentlemen consider frivolous in women, mayhap even harmful for their brains. Believe me, I am nothing at all, merely a backwater colonial with no pretensions to anything. Why do you feel responsible for me? It is not your fault that my uncle is dead.”
“Shut up.” He kissed her again but she was struggling frantically against him, and h
e didn’t want to risk hurting her ribs. He contented himself with merely holding her. He felt the heat of her, felt her breasts heaving against his chest, and he closed his eyes a moment.
“Do you forget how much you dislike me, Ryder? You think me a horrible woman. You scorn me and what you believe I am. Why are you doing this?”
He looked over her shoulder at the jagged black rocks that jutted out into the sea. “I have to. Call it my honor. Call it an attack of scruples. Samuel said I’d ruined you. Perhaps you are even now carrying my child. Now, in addition to your ruination and a possible babe, there is the matter of saving your neck. Now, come back with me. We both have a lot to do.”
She fell into step beside him. She stared blindly ahead of her. She didn’t believe that life could change so drastically and so very quickly.
She looked at his profile, pure and clean and strong. He would be her husband.
She shivered.
CHAPTER 11
THE VICAR, MR. Jacob Mathers, was a wizened little man with a shock of white hair sticking up like a rooster’s comb. He knew all the gossip, naturally, but to his credit he took no part in it. Truth be told, he was more a listening man, particularly if he had a glass of rum punch in his hand. He listened and listened even more, and then disregarded the most of it. He had been a close friend of Samuel Grayson’s for over twenty years, and thus, when an invitation to dinner arrived, he accepted gladly. After dinner was over and he learned what his other duty was to be, he blinked once, looked at Samuel for guidance and received a smile and a nod. If this was what Samuel believed was right, then Jacob would do it.
The Sherbrooke Series Novels 1-5 Page 50