Caleb pelted up the steps and rang the bell. Jumping in place, he seemed ready to explode as they waited.
When Elaine opened the door, she stared at them, speechless. Gray roots showed in her champagne-colored hair, and she wore a baggy sweat suit rather than her usual neat attire.
“Grandma!” Caleb cried. “It’s us!”
“You mean Zady let you visit?” she asked.
The little boy glanced at Nick in confusion. “Dad?”
“Zady has nothing to do with this,” he said. “You’re the one who’s been refusing to let him visit, Elaine.”
“Well!” The woman’s stooped frame straightened. “Thank goodness, you’ve come home where you belong.”
She opened the door wider, and Caleb rushed to hug her. Above his head, she regarded Nick triumphantly.
Did she imagine she’d won some sort of contest? “Where’s his grandfather?” Nick followed the pair into the house.
Elaine waved toward the den. “In his favorite chair, as usual.”
“Can I see my room, Grandma?” Caleb asked.
She beamed. “It’s waiting for you. We haven’t changed a thing.”
That explained why she’d refused to let Nick move the furniture. She’d intended all along for Caleb to return.
As Elaine perched on the stair lift and the little boy scampered up the steps, Nick wondered about her agenda. How could she believe he’d relinquish his son, especially since she and Bennie were in no shape to raise a child?
He proceeded to the den, where only a trace of late-afternoon sunlight penetrated the tall, curtained windows. Without the Christmas decorations, gloom pervaded the large room, partly from the darkness of the furnishings, but also from the sadness in Bennie’s face.
The heavyset man rose and extended a hand. “Thank you for coming,” he said as they shook. His grip was firmer than before, and his face and neck less puffy.
“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your call.” Following Bennie’s example, Nick sank into a chair. “Please fill me in.”
Keeping a wary eye on the hallway, Bennie said, “I can no longer accept how irrational Elaine’s become. She’s been playing games with the real estate agent, changing appointments at the last minute, like she did with you. When the director of the assisted living facility called and asked me why we hadn’t finished filling out the application, it forced me to face that she’s been lying about our plans. To everyone, including me.”
Nick recalled the behavioral changes he’d noticed—the evasiveness, the occasional slurred word and the deliberate manner of speech. Possible diagnoses ran through his mind. Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia? Mental illness, including paranoia, could strike a person even in their mid-sixties, and that might explain her fixation on Zady as the enemy. “Has she been evaluated by a physician?”
“I’ve urged her to consult her doctor. But when she does go, she makes excuses for not taking me, so I don’t know what they talk about.” Bennie kept his voice low. “I discovered she has pain pills from several physicians. It may have begun as a way to treat her arthritis, but I think she’s addicted.”
“And she’s doctor shopping.” Nick had read that as many as one in five patients who’d been prescribed painkillers consulted multiple doctors, lying about their treatment in order to get additional drugs. He’d also learned that addiction among baby boomers was a growing problem and was tricky to spot, since the symptoms differed from those displayed by younger people abusing drugs. “What does she expect to accomplish?”
“Last night, she let it slip.” Bennie shivered. “She has this fantasy that if she can get rid of Zady, you and Caleb will both move in here.”
“I would never do that,” Nick blurted. The idea of raising his son in this house alongside the Carrigans was preposterous.
“I know,” Bennie said. “That’s when I called her sister in Ohio. She and her husband are flying out tomorrow, and we’ll coordinate with her doctor to do whatever it takes. Put her in rehab, move me to assisted living and so on. But I couldn’t bear to let that happen without first hugging Caleb. I love that boy.”
Nick laid his hand on the old man’s arm. “He loves you, too, Bennie. Don’t worry. Wherever you are, I’ll bring him to visit.”
“You’re a good man,” Bennie said.
From upstairs echoed Elaine’s screech. “Don’t talk about that witch! I don’t care how funny she is, she’s evil!”
Bennie pressed his hand to his forehead. “Caleb must have mentioned something positive about Zady.”
They’d both done her a great injustice, Nick thought, guilt rushing in as he remembered how he’d treated her. But his immediate concern was for his son. “I’ll go fetch him.”
As he rose, small footsteps thumped down the stairs. The boy raced into the room, tears streaking his cheeks. “Daddy! Don’t make me stay here!”
“Of course not.” Nick knelt to clasp his son.
Caleb clung to him. “Grandma’s acting weird.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Bennie assured him. “Elaine’s sick.”
“I am not!” Elaine had made surprisingly good time descending the stairs, perhaps powered by adrenaline.
With his father for support, Caleb swung to face her. “You scared me.”
Emotions fleeted across her lined face. “I didn’t mean to yell at you, sweetheart.”
“Can we go home, Daddy?” Caleb asked.
“Sure. Just hug your grandpa first.” Nick steered the little boy in Bennie’s direction. “He’s been waiting for you.”
Holding up his arms, Caleb went to his grandfather. The old man bent to clasp him, his cheeks, too, glistening with tears.
Elaine peered at Nick in confusion. “I’m sorry I shouted at him. It’s that woman’s fault.”
“Zady has done nothing but try to help Caleb and me,” Nick retorted. “You need to deal with your problems and stopping blaming her.” And so do I.
Wriggling away from his grandfather, Caleb reclaimed Nick’s hand. “Let’s go, Daddy.”
“Goodbye,” Nick told them. “I’ll be in touch.”
Bennie nodded. Elaine appeared dazed.
The crisis wouldn’t be easily resolved, Nick reflected as he took his son outside. But perhaps today’s visit had shaken Elaine enough to make her more receptive to treatment. Bennie and their relatives would have to do the rest.
“I don’t live here anymore,” Caleb said as Nick strapped him into the car seat.
“No. You live with me and Zady.”
The boy took a deep breath. “Daddy, don’t ever go away.”
Nick bent down, embracing the child of his heart. “I won’t. I promise.”
An hour later, nearing home, he recalled that he was responsible for dinner tonight. At the supermarket, he bought take-out roast chicken and vegetables, along with a bouquet of spring flowers tied with a pretty ribbon.
He hoped that would make up for how he’d treated Zady, although it was only a start. While he was dwelling on his own need for loyalty, he’d betrayed her trust in him.
As he drove onto their street, the single-story house with its eggshell-blue paint and rosebushes welcomed them. “We’re home,” Caleb said.
“Yes, we are.”
They clomped into the house, wreathed in the scents of roast chicken and flowers. There was a stillness in the air that felt unnatural, although Nick couldn’t pinpoint why. “Auntie Zee!” the little boy called.
From her bedroom, Zady emerged. Her face was pale beneath the freckles. “Oh, hi. Where’ve you been?”
“We saw Grandma and Grandma.” Caleb ran over. “Grandma acted funny.”
“Funny how?”
“I’ll explain later,” Nick promised. “We brought dinner.”
“Thanks, but I’m eating at my sister’s.”
That was when it hit him what was wrong. The usual scattering of Zady’s possessions—a magazine on the coffee table, a decorative plate she’d hung near the kitchen—were gone. And a couple of cardboard boxes, closed and sealed, waited by the door.
She was leaving.
Chapter Nineteen
Another few minutes and Zady would have been gone, permitting father and son to enjoy their dinner undisturbed. Mercifully, she’d located a refuge. Gossip about the incident at the day care center had reached her sister, and when Zady called, Zora had immediately offered the use of a cot in the twins’ nursery for a long as she liked.
She’d accepted with gratitude.
Nick’s shocked expression and the flowers in his hands told Zady that he’d relented toward her. But fundamentally, nothing had changed. She’d taken a risk, and, as she’d feared all along, it had blown up in her face.
This was a good time to leave, in view of Caleb’s high spirits. Seeing the Carrigans had been exactly what he needed. Unusually exuberant, he ran through the house, greeting everything. “Hi, kitchen!” His voice drifted to her. “Hi, yard!” He flew briefly into sight before vanishing into his bedroom, where she could hear him greeting each of his stuffed animals by name.
Nick shifted his sack of dinner onto a table. “These are for you.” He held out the flowers. “With an apology.”
Zady accepted them and took a sniff. “They’re beautiful.”
Nick’s pleading gaze fixed on her. “You have every right to be angry. I had no business blaming you and embarrassing you. I thought you’d tipped off Marshall about our meeting today. It was a misunderstanding that I deeply regret, and I’ll apologize again in front of the day care staff.” He appeared to have run out of breath.
If only she could stay, but that would be wrong. They’d both end up miserable, especially her. Rather than argue, Zady asked, “What’s up with Caleb’s grandparents?”
“Bennie asked us to come. Apparently, Elaine’s addicted to painkillers. She’s been lying about things and had a crazy idea that if you left, Caleb and I would move in with them.” Nick swallowed. “Of course not. Our place is here with you.”
If only that was true. “I’m afraid that doesn’t apply to Caleb. He’s had a hard time, and my presence isn’t helping, it’s hurting.”
Nick moved across the living room toward her. He reached out as if to take her hands, but she lifted the bouquet to hold him at bay.
Despite her pain, she drank him in—his rumpled hair, the appealing end-of-day stubble on his cheeks—and her heart twisted. She loved him, but it wasn’t enough.
“Elaine pitted him against you,” Nick went on. “It was so devious that I missed it. She turned this into a you-versus-her situation for Caleb. Now that’s finished.”
“But it worked. And it worked because I stepped in here blithely assuming, at some level, that this was my ready-made family. That I could become his mother.” Just as she’d imagined she could be a second mother to Dwayne’s children. “Well, to him, I’m not and I never will be.”
“Don’t say that.”
“For me to hold on would be selfish. Caleb’s welfare comes first. My absence will be the greatest gift I can give him, and you.”
There it was, flat-out reality. No use denying it any longer.
* * *
NICK ADMIRED ZADY’S insistence on protecting Caleb. But how could he accept the searing prospect of a future without her, especially when he knew she belonged here?
All his life, perhaps as a result of his father’s abandonment, Nick had demanded absolute loyalty from those close to him. Rigidly, he’d perceived betrayal in every corner. Now he saw how unreasonable he’d been. And in the process, he’d hurt the woman he loved.
“I can’t lose you,” Nick burst out. “If you feel you have to move elsewhere for a while, let’s stay close. Even if I can’t have you one hundred percent, don’t throw away what we’ve shared. You can come back whenever you’re ready.”
If he dared hope she might rethink her decision, her next words shook him.
“Hanging on to each other wouldn’t be fair to Caleb,” Zady said. “He needs a mom. There must be another woman out there who’d be right for him and you. Once I’m out of the picture, you’ll have a chance to find her.”
She hurried off, the flowers in her arms.
Gripped by longing, Nick had no idea what to do next. He was still standing there when Caleb trotted out. “Where’s Auntie Zee?”
“She’s...packing.”
The little boy stared at him reproachfully. “What did you say?”
“I tried to stop her.” Phrasing to avoid implying his son was at fault, Nick said, “She believes we’d be happier without her.”
“Why?”
He’d run out of evasions. “You’d better ask her.”
With a determined expression, Caleb wheeled and stomped toward Zady’s room. Nick decided to allow them a few moments of privacy.
* * *
DISCOVERING LINDA’S SECOND-FAVORITE doll under the bed nearly proved Zady’s undoing. Fighting sobs, she cradled the babylike figure. Would she ever have a child to keep?
A tap at the entrance drew her attention to Caleb’s small figure. He glared at her. Not again, she thought wearily.
“Don’t worry, little guy,” she said. “I’m moving out.”
His gaze fixed on the doll. “You’re going to stay with Linda?”
“No, Linda lives with her mommy and daddy. I’ll return this to her later.” Zady tucked the toy into her suitcase. “I’ll miss you a whole lot, Caleb.”
“Then why are you going?”
She sank onto the edge of the bed, too overwhelmed to spin an excuse. “Because I can see how miserable I make you. You tried to run away because of me.”
His eyes widened. “No, I didn’t. Not really.”
“You told everybody you hate me,” Zady pointed out. “That your problems are my fault.”
He ventured closer, bewilderment coloring his expression. This was a complicated situation for a little boy to process, she realized.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked.
“No, Caleb.” Zady ached to gather him in her arms. “If I had a magic wand, I’d wave it right now and be your mommy forever. But a long time ago, I tried to create a home for some other children and they ended up hating me, too. I’ve learned my lesson. I love you too much to stick around and upset you.”
His eyes glittered. “I’m sorry I was mean. Please don’t leave.”
Zady wasn’t sure she dared trust this sudden declaration. Perhaps Nick had influenced his son. “You might change your mind.”
Caleb’s onrush caught her off guard. Zady barely maintained her balance on the bed as he climbed onto her lap. He wrapped his arms around her, burrowing into her shoulder. “Those other children were stupid. I love you, Auntie Zee.”
Cradling the boy, she rocked him gently. “I love you, too, Caleb.”
She hadn’t heard Nick enter until his voice rumbled through her. “I knew there was something I left out. Zady, I love you, too. I want to marry you. If you aren’t ready for a commitment, I’ll understand. But I’m asking you anyway.”
“If I’m not ready for a commitment?” she repeated. He had it backward. What she’d feared was a repeat of her huge mistake with Dwayne. That she risked hanging on, hoping and struggling, opening her heart and being left with nothing but regret.
An armful of flowers and an apology didn’t mean much. But here he was, eyes dark with emotion, begging to share his life with her.
Or was she interpreting his words to suit her fantasies? Zady studied Nick blurrily, uncertain that she’d heard correctly.
“Would you repeat the part about wanting to marry me?” she asked.
Wriggling out of her grasp, Caleb plopped onto the floor, where he sank to one knee like the hero of the romantic movie they’d watched. Nick followed suit. Father and son knelt there, the smile playing around Nick’s mouth tempered by uncertainty.
“Will you marry me?” he asked.
“Me, too?” Caleb chimed in.
Zady had to push through a lump in her throat to answer. “Do you both promise to love me forever?”
Two dark heads nodded vigorously. Zady let her tears flow—but this time, they were tears of happiness.
“Then, yes,” she said. “We’ll be a family.”
Joy glowed in Nick’s face as he rose. Caleb, however, seemed dissatisfied. “Dad,” he muttered. “Where’s the ring?”
“Oops.” Nick strode over to the bouquet Zady had placed on her night table, and removed the rainbow ribbon. “Can we tie this on your finger for now?”
“No!” Caleb said. “She’s s’posed to get a ring.”
“And she should, I agree.” Producing his phone from his pocket, Nick tapped it a few times. Into the room played the tinny notes of “Here Comes the Bride.”
“It’s a ringtone,” he explained playfully.
“Dad, that’s lame!”
Zady shook with silent laughter. “It’s okay,” she managed to say.
“No, it’s not,” Nick said. “When we all have a day off, let’s go to a jewelry store and pick out a ring.”
“A sparkly one!” Caleb commanded.
“It will be,” his father promised. “It’ll be everything your new mom ever dreamed of.”
Zady knew that couldn’t be true. She already had everything she’d dreamed of, right here.
* * *
“MARSHALL’S YOUR BROTHER?” Zady said as they sat on the patio in the cool evening, after an excited Caleb had finally fallen asleep and Nick had filled her in about the events of the day. “What an amazing development.”
Nick’s hand cupped hers on the armrest. “It’ll take a while to get used to the idea. Luckily, we’ve dropped our old antagonism. He’s a good guy, even if he is kind of a stuffed shirt.”
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