The point was though, she seemed fine.
She also still had her hands tucked neatly behind her back, something he realised as she shifted forward slightly.
‘Yeah, I . . . wanted to come and show you this,’ she mumbled as she took another tiny step his way.
The doors to his rooms had closed some time ago—as soon as she’d stepped far enough away from them. And it was a fact he was more than thankful for now, as he knew he was flushed. Heck, he was probably incandescent.
If that wasn’t bad enough, his stomach did the strangest thing as she stepped tentatively towards him; it gave an almighty kick of nerves. It wasn’t terror, and it wasn’t left-over adrenaline from all the battles he’d waged recently. It was expectation, plain and simple.
Finally she brought her arm around from behind her. Locked over the left wrist was a large silver-white band of metal. Though at first glance it looked like nothing more than a chunky bangle of some description, a second later something incredible happened: an ordered pattern of blue light flashed across the surface, then disappeared in a blink.
It looked like square blue veins suddenly pulsing with light.
‘Whoa . . . what is that?’ he walked forward, completely forgetting he was in his towel and that he ought to feel embarrassed. He just strode right up to her, gently picked up her left hand, and surveyed the strange device as best he could.
They were close, but she didn’t shift back. And neither did she shove him off and complain that his hand and arm was still damp. She just waited there patiently as he inspected that pulsing white metal.
‘It’s modified TI technology. It’s just a prototype for now; they wanted to fit me with something immediately to take the edge of the fight with the entity. They’re working on something better right now,’ she explained as she nodded down at the device.
‘Wow,’ he said plainly.
. . . Really? Just wow? Was that the best he could manage? Nida now had something to help her defend against the entity, and he sounded like she’d simply showed him a cool shell she’d found at the beach.
‘Ah, so it works?’ he stammered, realising that was the first thing he should have asked. Suddenly he was all too aware of the fact he was still in his towel, and quickly took a respectful step back.
Nida hooked her hair behind her ears and shrugged. ‘Yeah, it does. I mean, the entity was still pretty weak from our last fight. But this . . . ,’ she shrugged again as she brought down her left hand and stared at it, ‘this helps,’ she concluded with a note of reassuring finality.
‘I’m so glad,’ he spoke through a rattling breath.
Then . . . silence.
Really awkward silence spread between them, giving him all the time he needed to remember he was still standing around in a towel.
‘I . . . I just wanted to show you that,’ she said once more as she took a delicate step back towards the door.
‘You don’t have to leave,’ he said so quickly his breath sounded like a shot of steam.
‘I don’t want to interrupt you. I’m sure you want to rest,’ she took another step backwards.
Why was it that every time she stepped back it felt like she was taking something with her?
Carson could try to fool himself that he didn’t know what it was, but he did.
An opportunity.
Maybe it was just him, but he felt a spark between them. A spark that kept crackling brighter with every second.
. . . .
All too soon they would head back to Remus 12. Travis had promised Carson that the Orion would take them there, that they would do anything to help Nida open that time gate to the past.
So very soon Carson and Nida’s lives would get complicated again. Very soon they’d be thrust back into the chaotic depths of adventure.
Right now they had silence though. Peace. And, yeah, an opportunity.
An opportunity for what though? He had no idea whether she felt the same way he did. And heck, she probably didn’t. Nida was likely focused 100 percent on their perilous task.
She reached the door.
Though it hurt like hell to see her leave, what was there to say?
He wasn’t going to risk altering their relationship by confessing his feelings so close to such a critical mission.
So he . . . just stood there and watched her turn around.
His stomach was no longer kicking with expectant nerves; it, like the rest of him, had been doused in disappointment.
‘See you around,’ he mumbled.
She paused. With her hand outstretched to touch the button that would open the door, she half turned over her shoulder.
He couldn’t see her face properly; her hair had bunched up over her shoulder, leaving only a slice of her cheek and eyelash in view.
If he’d had the power to twist the universe around just to see her expression in that moment, he would have done it.
Instead, he just stood there.
Waiting.
‘Carson,’ she eventually said, ‘I . . . ,’ again she trailed off.
‘Yes?’ he encouraged.
‘I don’t know what I’m doing,’ she rested her hand on the door, her fingers pulling away from the button that would open it.
‘We’re going back to Remus 12. We’re going to fix this,’ he supplied automatically as if she’d been a simple cadet asking for an update on the battle plan.
That clearly wasn’t what she was looking for though, as she replied with a heavy sigh.
‘ . . . Nida, it will all be fine,’ he tried instead.
She sighed again, this time balling up a fist and striking the door with it. The door was made of a special reinforced metal, similar to the hull plating that encased the Orion, and Nida didn’t even manage to shake it. She hit it again though, and once more. Then, finally, she leaned forward and rested her head against it.
He was still standing there in the middle of the room in nothing but a towel as his wet hair dripped down his neck and back.
He shivered, but it wasn’t the damp that did it.
He didn’t know what to do to fix this. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to make her feel better.
As a lieutenant, he had countless possible responses ranging from a reprimand to a swift verbal kick up the butt. He didn’t use any of those though. Of course he didn’t. Their relationship went way beyond that of a cadet and a lieutenant now.
. . . And there he went again, thinking of their so-called relationship.
She was obviously hurting, and all he could do was stand there and worry about lost opportunities.
‘Now you’ve got that modified TI implant, it’ll help you control the entity, Nida,’ he tried again, realising she was looking for something she could hold onto; advice that would actually give her reason to hope, rather than merely empty promises.
‘Yeah,’ she responded quietly.
‘Who knows, you might even learn to control its powers like you did back on Vex those few times. We know it has the ability to move any kind of object. With practice, you might be able to do that too,’ he wasn’t going to give up. He was going to keep trying until he found the one thing she wanted to hear.
‘I guess,’ she mumbled.
‘. . . Nida, is there something you want?’ he suddenly asked. He wasn’t being rude—far from it. He was just so desperate to find out what she needed, so he could scour this whole ship to bring it to her.
She straightened up, her back shifting forward in a visible twitch that saw her uniform pull tight over her arms. ‘I’m sorry for interrupting you,’ she pushed her hand out and let her fingers close over the door button.
He actually reached a hand out, his fingers spreading wide as if he were trying to grab hold of something. ‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ he said so quickly his words were a slur.
She went to open the door.
But she stopped.
Instead she turned on her foot and walked right up to him.
Right up to him.
She was standing so close, his breath visibly pushed at the ends of her fringe.
He could have stepped back.
He could have asked her what the heck she was doing.
He didn’t.
Carson Blake waited to see what would happen next.
She hadn’t lifted her chin to look at him. Instead she stared solidly at his left shoulder.
Seconds ticked by.
He would have called what they were experiencing uncomfortable, but it wasn’t.
It was, rather, like a moment of frozen time.
‘Would you have wanted it to be someone else?’ she broke that powerful silence with the tiniest of whispers.
The quality of her voice sent shivers escaping over his back and chest. Then he stopped to process what she’d actually said. ‘What?’
‘Would you have wanted it to be someone else?’ she repeated as she gently raised her left hand in the little space between them.
‘Nida, what do you mean?’
‘This is a TI implant,’ she motioned to the device.
He knew that, of course he did, but he wasn’t dumb enough to interrupt.
‘It’s the same technology that lets us move TI objects . . . .’
He nodded his head. ‘Yeah, but . . . what are you getting at?’
‘I was the worst recruit at the Academy, Carson. The absolute worst. It wasn’t for want of trying, but I just wasn’t suited to it. I could barely operate a scanner, my combat skills were non-existent, and above all, I couldn’t manipulate a TI object to save my life.’ She withdrew into a protracted silence, before opening her mouth and adding in a breath, ‘if the entity had infected you, you would have been able to control it in an instant. Or Alicia, or J’Etem. But me . . . ,’ she trailed off again.
He finally understood what she was getting at, and he couldn’t help but laugh. It was not in any way a cruel move; it was relieved and gentle and careful all at once.
It also finally made her look up at him. ‘If I had been someone else, none of this would have happened,’ she said in a firm but detached voice as she took a step back.
He shook his head. ‘No. I wouldn’t want somebody else,’ he said as he dipped his head low and looked right into her eyes. In fact, he had never tried to stare at someone with so much concentrated focus before. ‘Nida, I wouldn’t want anybody but you,’ he added.
It was not an answer to her question.
She looked confused, then her eyes drifted down as she once again looked at her device. ‘J’Etem could have learnt to control the entity in a heartbeat,’ she pointed out glumly.
‘I don’t want J’Etem,’ he said.
Again, he didn’t answer her question.
She looked up again, her gaze flickering and confused. ‘But, anyone else would have been able to do a better job than me.’
‘Firstly, we don’t know that. The entity might interact with our TI implants and technology, but that does not for a second mean that a TI master would have an easy time fighting it. That’s a huge assumption, and it’s one I don’t buy. And second, I don’t . . . want anyone else . . . but you,’ he added.
At first, it hadn’t been obvious that he wasn’t answering her question, now it was.
She looked up at him. And slowly her confusion melted away.
‘I . . . ,’ she began.
She stopped.
If time had slowed down before—now it sped up.
It burst forth like a river breaking its banks.
Nida pushed forward, and before he knew it, she was kissing him.
It took a moment for his mind to catch up; his body, however, wasn’t that slow.
He brought his hands up and pressed them into her back as he drew her closer.
It was not a desperate kiss, and he’d certainly had more passionate ones. She wasn’t groping wildly at him, and neither was it a quick peck.
It was a glimpse at a different kind of time. Slow and memorable, he logged away every detail as if he had eternity to do so.
From the warmth of her cheeks, to the soft embrace of her lips, it all imprinted on his mind.
Years from now, he’d be able to close his eyes and remember every microsecond of this experience.
Eventually she pulled away. Though she looked up at him at first, she suddenly stepped away.
As a hot red blush flooded up her cheeks and neck, it was clear she realised what she’d just done.
‘Sorry,’ she mumbled as she pulled away further, pressing her fingers hard into her lips as if to contain any further kisses that could slow down time.
He couldn’t help but smile in response. In fact, even if the ship had suddenly sprung an oxygen leak or lost a few decks, he would have kept smiling.
This was well over-due. Their relationship had been building for weeks now. Gentle at first, the more they went through, the faster his need to be with her built. It wasn’t all desire though. It wasn’t a passionate longing; it was so much more.
They’d shared something he’d never shared with anyone else. Adversity. Comfort. The struggle to keep going forward.
‘Sorry,’ she repeated again.
‘ . . . Why?’ he laughed. ‘That you didn’t do that sooner?’
She blinked prettily, her confusion obvious. ‘I . . . shouldn’t have kissed you. I . . . I’m sorry.’
He laughed again.
He felt so relieved.
Which was incredible when you realised he was now entering into one of the most dangerous phases of this mission. In a few hours, the Orion would leave for Remus 12, where Nida would have to fight the full power of the entity to return them to their own time.
Yet he couldn’t deny the surge of relief he now felt. It was as if he’d been liberated from some great burden.
Maybe it was just the prospect her kiss confirmed she was interested in him, maybe it was more.
It didn’t matter. With time, he’d find out.
‘I’m sorry, Carson,’ she mumbled again.
‘I’m not,’ he could have pushed forward and kissed her again, but he didn’t. He just stood there in the middle of his room looking at her, trying to let his expression convey everything.
Absolutely everything.
He wanted her to understand from the flickering look in his eyes that he’d never been so sure about something in his life, that he’d never felt this free.
When he’d first met her, he’d thought she was nothing more than an awkward cadet unsuited for the Academy. Now . . . there was no point in describing how he felt.
His affections had taken some time to grow, and they weren’t done yet.
So he settled for just looking at her.
‘I’m not your type,’ she suddenly announced.
‘Sorry?’
‘You like women like Bridget or Cara,’ she added in a soft voice, ‘strong, fiery, wilful, competent. I can barely operate a scanner,’ she reminded him.
Once more, he just stood there, his smile growing even while his confusion at her words did. His body still tingled though, still knew what it wanted.
Connection.
But his mind operated enough to comprehended her words, and he finally frowned. ‘I don’t like Bridget, and as for Cara, she tried to kill me.’
Nida held his gaze for a fraction of a second, then looked down at her hands as she industriously brushed the thumbs together.
‘Nida, I . . . ,’ he trailed off. ‘I can’t think of what to say,’ he quickly admitted, ‘because all I can think of is you.’
This made her look up. Slowly. It was such a delicate move, yet inside her gaze he caught that flash of determination. No, not a flash; Nida did not have a fiery personality. She was no Cara. Where Cara burnt, Nida moved like water. Gentle and flexible, but when it got going, could extinguish any fire and engulf any heart.
‘. . . Are you serious?’ she still looked hesitant. ‘You’re Carson Blake,’ she clarified, as if that meant something.
&n
bsp; ‘I know who I am. And you’re Nida Harper. What’s your point?’
‘That . . . you’re the best of the best, and I’m—’ she looked at her hands again.
It wasn’t like her to be small. Not these days anyway. She’d come so far.
In fact, witnessing her incredible transformation first hand made Carson worry that one day he’d be superseded by her. Whilst he’d reached the peak of his abilities, she was just getting started.
Every impossible situation they faced seemed to shut him down, while it just opened her up.
He knew, 100 percent, that given time, she would become brilliant.
She was already brilliant, he reminded himself. But the point was, she would get over any teething problems she had with the Academy, and she would shine. Or maybe she’d leave the Academy and head off into some other area. It didn’t matter; whatever happened next, Nida Harper was just getting started.
Could she see that? Did she really appreciate what she’d done over the past few weeks? Overcoming the entity? Finding out what it wanted? Coming up with a plan to save the Galactic Coalition?
She’d achieved more in a few weeks than most admirals did in their whole careers.
‘Carson . . . you’re,’ she began.
‘If you’re about to point out I’m Carson Blake again, don’t,’ he laughed softly.
She opened her mouth, then closed it.
Again silence descended over them, and once more time appeared to stretch, slowing to a trickle as it moved around him like the lightest of breezes.
On instinct, he held a hand out to her.
She automatically took it. It happened so quickly, it was clear she hadn’t paused to think.
He closed his fingers around hers just as her eyes drew wide.
‘Make a deal with me,’ he suddenly offered.
She stared at him in surprise, her cheeks still touched with heat. ‘Carson?’
‘If you don’t point out I’m Carson Blake again, I’ll never mention people used to call you the worst recruit in 1000 years.’
Her surprise turned into mild amusement, her bottom lip wobbling until she offered him a dimpled smile. ‘Ah . . . okay.’
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