“I’ll dance a couple of dances with him, I promised him after all. Listen good luck with the wedding I’ll be back in Spain by then.” He thanked me with a kiss and passed me to my dad. I was led to the floor to dance with Dad, all the time keeping a look out for Chris and his surprise appearance, but as I looked around, I couldn’t see him. There were plenty of people with the right body frame and height, there were about four people who could have been him, but they all had the damn same mask on, a full faced thing with a hat and big nose, wow was he even here? After dancing with everyman and his brother, I went for the talk with Jack.
“Jack, we can have that talk now?” He nearly snapped his head off in the race to get up from his chair.
“Yeah sure I thought you had forgotten me.”
“No, I didn’t forget, this way there’s an empty room here for the waiters breaks. We won’t be disturbed Preston will keep them out.” I smiled, because she knew he was going down and wasn’t a threat, besides if he did try something, she would be in, in no time at all.
As I walked towards the room I saw Chris, my heart thumped out of my chest, wowsers he looked hot, but better still he was here and in a half mask I’d easily recognise, and he hadn’t seen me, he was on his phone shouting at someone, I’m glad it wasn’t me. Good, I will get this over and done with, and go and grab my dance.
As we go towards the room, Jack takes me in his arms and kisses me. That action makes me want to be physically sick. I waved Julie away, she was all for killing him but I wanted to deal with this slimy bastard, this was going to be my hour of glory. He then forcefully pushed me into the room. Oh, hell no he was raising my dress and his hands were touching the underwear I had chosen for Chris. He was busy too trying to push me towards the couch in the room. What an idiot, that was his second big mistake. I brought my knee up to his groin area and wow the force was with me in the single knee to his now deflated hard on, he stumbled backwards in agony grabbing his nuts.
“You’re not gay then? Don’t bother denying it you freak. What were you to try next with me? You failed miserably in trying to be like one of the girls, you failed too not getting the hoped for look at my body in the changing rooms or in my bed room. What were you really aiming for a night time cuddle, when you got an invite over for a girly sleepover? Did you really think I thought you were gay? Did you think my dad would think you a safe option, and would allow you to sleep in my room, or did you hope to join me in my bed for a girly chat, where you would cuddle up at night make a sleepy pass and we’d roll around and have sex, you really are a moron like Cameron says. Did you think I wouldn’t know that all this was an act and you were using me Jack?
Do you really think I’m stupid enough to fall for that? Stupid boy, touch me again like that and your dick will be fucking useless for impregnating any more of my friends with, and forget the idea you’re going anywhere near me with it, gay or otherwise you smarmy fucking leech. With damaged nuts you won’t need to pretend to be gay you will be, you useless bastard. Send Susan some fucking money for your daughter Kiera, just in case you didn’t catch her name.” Wow, that was an epic rant and I was so infuriated, we were shouting a lot, but it felt damn good.
“It isn’t my fucking baby, and so what if it is? I offered her the money to get rid of it, she chose to keep her baby and so the baby is her concern now not mine. It wasn’t my choice to have a kid, and not my fault the damn jonnie burst, accidents happen and so you sort it out, she refused to sort it, so she chose to take that kid on, not me.” He came at me and the punch to the face and the second kick to his nuts must have killed him. He came for me again and for his troubles, he was pepper sprayed, as I laughed at him, he was in agony.
“You bitch, you fucking bitch I can’t fucking see. I need to see a doctor, I’m dying here, get me help and do it now.” Preston came in all as I sat at the door laughing, as she held him in a tight grip.
“So you wanted to be with me to get to my money then? Did you want to hear the words I love you Jack? Jack is that what you wanted to hear me say, that I love you, and I can’t live without you?”
“I was trying to get close to you, and pretend you made me see the light, be your friend first and then make you fall for me, because I do like you very much, but I knew when you found out about the baby you would hate me. I needed you to like me, before I told you about the baby. I can’t be a father, I can’t be Bella, I can’t be a father and you can’t make me be one, it was a damn big fucking mistake, the baby was and is a mistake, God Bella having a baby is a mistake we’re too young.”
“I could never love a man like you, you used me. What has Daddy done, stopped the trust fund now he knows about the baby?”
“Yeah, he has, but I figured I could be a kept man with yours, the baby news was not planned Bella, it is a mistake we can take care of.” We, there was no we the moron, did he think I’d even entertain him with Chris around, let alone after he dumped his kid and ran here? Wow, he really is afraid of being a father, it’s too much for him to start being a grown up and have responsibilities, shit it’s too late for that though, he is and he needs to man up, not gay it up.
The bastard, I nearly felt sorry for him then, and this is why I hate boys of my own age they are dick wad, immature boys, with just sex on their minds, dick wads who only live in the here and now, with no thought for the future or consequences of their actions, just as long as they have a good time and are able to walk away…
“I don’t think you are ready to be a father, you’re right, and that’s just too bad for you. What you have done though you can’t change, but now you just want to walk away and leave your baby for others to raise, let them pay for your child, note I said child, the baby is not a mistake? What is it with you men? Do you think having a baby is a one person job, because it’s not Jack? It took two to make it and it takes two to raise it. You, you bastard won’t get that chance now, the baby is no longer going to have you in its life, your part in all this ended when you screamed I’m coming I’m coming, you stupid fool and the baby will be better off not having you in its life.
Now, when the child you made comes to you in the years ahead and says why did you not love me enough to stay, whether you loved it’s mother is irrelevant now, you should love your child not abandon it, you need to support the baby and the child you created, accident or not the baby is here and you need to step up. You made the child too, so quit running away, because Susan can’t run away ever. You whether you like it or not, you did not create a mistake, you created a child. Which means you already are a father, now fucking grow up and act like one.
Do you know what? You’re going to miss out on your child’s first smile, first words and all her first steps in life, being a dad is a privilege, and one you will never be a part of now so get the fuck out of here? My dad has sorted it all, your child will be well provided for by your father, he has agreed to support his grandchild, even if you don’t want to. I’m leaving this room and you are leaving my party and now. I don’t want to see you ever again. Give her some bloody money you moron and do it willingly before your father stops your trust fund, and gives it all to your child not you, Susan needs it, you don’t.”
“I won’t give Susan a fucking penny from my trust fund my dad didn’t know about the baby, what the fuck have you done, you have cost me millions you and your family will pay for this.” He came at me again and Julie made him suffer.
“She doesn’t need your money, your daughter does. Get him out Preston.” I felt sick and had a bad migraine, as I slumped in the chair and waited for Julie in the room crying, she came back smiling.
“He was thrown out the back door and will be paying money for his daughter. Let’s get you out and dancing. It’s your party and congratulations, the kick and punch you got in seemed to hurt him a little. He had great difficulty in walking out unassisted.” I oh-ed and laughed.
“I have a man to find and dance with…” I went to find Chris, and I managed to find him surprisingly easy
. He looked so good leaning against the bar, and as I walked up behind him, I was totally shocked and I stood back when I heard him on the phone, he wasn’t aware I was there, but what I heard him saying to the other girl, it broke my heart. I’d heard him talking to a woman, a woman called Alysia.
I thought he was here for me, for us, but catching the tail end of that conversation there wasn’t going to be any me or us time at all. I was angry and mad and wanted to know who this woman was, then shout at him my grateful thanks for his non-attendance and ruining yet another party. My fucking parties are damn well cursed. He continued to talk in a sultry tone to her whoever she was…
“Yeah baby, this err kids party is boring and I need to see you, I want you too, like you wouldn’t believe, and soon. Yeah great, let me get out of this monkey suit, it’s too fucking much for Club Novo, I will meet you there in a while, be there and you won’t be disappointed Alysia.” He’d arranged to meet up with her in a club Luis was a member of. It is in one of Chris’s hotels and his Club Novo, is an exclusive club within this particular hotel, his penthouse is there too.
First, he was going to his room to change, and so I needed to ditch security, so I cried off the rest of the party with a headache, as I needed to get there. I needed to get to my room I needed my purse, with my credit cards, money, then I had to ditch the mask. I could only do this after Julie Preston did her best to assure Mum and Dad she would only be next door, and would check in on me, and that they were to stop and enjoy the party. Great I had escaped the damn party after I explained the Jack thing to Dad, he understood the reason for the headache.
I hadn’t had to use my really good fake driving licence yet, as I look older than I am, but I also went into Luis room and rifled through his desk for the key to Chris’s place here. I know Luis has one, he lives there most nights and the pass key was just sitting there, what harm would it be to use it, it may not even work and be out of date, the access all areas card was in my sweaty hand, I grabbed it and my bag, some cash, my cards and I headed out of the back stairs. I managed my escape by avoiding the cameras. I’d done this enough growing up for fun, now I was doing it for real and to finally put to rest the feelings I had for that man whore Christopher Holland. I knew they would be tested tonight, I just didn’t know how tested I would be…
I had managed to get myself into the club with no questions asked, and I sat and waited for him to show. Hidden in the shadows of the last darkened booth, by the lifts and the stairwell, and whilst I waited for him and her, I sat drinking Mojitos, the combination of the scrummy sweetness, with the refreshing citrus and mint flavours tasted wonderful. I felt like getting hammered, and celebrating my birthday, so I downed two more, they tasted to my foggy brain, like minty sweets, my new drink of choice, they were harmless enough, and actually tasted like there was virtually no alcohol in them at all, a good safe drink for me.
Then I saw him approach the bar with a stunning woman on his arm, and then they danced, and all as I sipped my fourth or fifth Mojito. He looked stunning and she was a bitch, what did she have, that I didn’t? Then he disappeared into a room at the back, and she came over to the girl sat in the next booth, where I overheard her telling her friend she would be back soon, as they were going to the roof top for a talk and some fresh air. Then she would call and let her know if she had managed to change his mind, changed his mind about what? I was intrigued. I needed to get to the terrace and before them.
I drank the Mojito in one gulp, wow I got a crazy head rush, and my walk is sort of a wobble as I held the table, and the realisation set in maybe they were stronger than I thought? I slivered out of the booth and headed to the lift, work card please work, saying it over and over, my mantra to the lift gods, as I swiped the all area access card and to my relief the doors shut and the lift rose quickly. I had been here as a child a few times before with Luis, he told me it was Chris’s home here.
That was when I thought everyone lived in hotels, so remembering the codes from the few times I had bothered watching as Luis punch them in, for both the penthouse and then the roof, I am amazed they still work. Now do I get off at his penthouse, or do I get off on the roof top? I decided on the beautiful roof top, I loved it out there. Luis had left his wallet here once, after visiting Chris the night before and he had to come and get it, he was on Bella minding duty, so had to bring me along. This next floor was full of rooms with really nice, but very funny bedrooms, and the next floor up was his penthouse, but would he take her there? Shit think, she said terrace, so I decide to risk it and go up to the roof top terrace.
I had ran around this roof as a very naive twelve year old, asking why it was up here and why were there proper beds all around it, all pretty and with net curtains around them, whilst I was helping him look for his lost wallet. Luis told me the older ladies liked to sunbath up here, and I believed him of course, just as I believed him when he said the room I walked into was a gym for workouts, and the bed was there in case they got tired. Yeah, I found out what bedroom was later on in life, it was a sex room. I was told not to tell Mum or Dad, and bribed with a visit for pizza.
I raced up there as I had to get there before them, only when I got there it was in total darkness, the lights were off, and I didn’t now think this was one of my better ideas, but I positioned myself in the far corner on the floor, hiding like a burglar. They would be no doubt using the big bed in the middle, because it looked pretty in the moonlight, strewn with rose petals, with champagne and chocolates by the bed. I wanted to cry, as I hid by the bed by the railing. Then I saw them coming towards the beds, I really wanted to get off the damn roof now, but I couldn’t escape, not without being seen by them anyway.
So I keep hidden and I watch as they get cosy on the bed, just three along from me. I wished I hadn’t come when I looked over the edge of the bed I was hiding behind, because they were having sex. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t peel my eyes away from looking at the man I loved and worshiped. I couldn’t believe how unlucky this night had been, he was having sex with another woman. I continued to watch them with tears in my eyes, and bile in my mouth, I heard her scream for him and moan, as he moved on top of her, her skirts were raised and he’s just pounding into her like a jack hammer, her pleasure could be clearly heard, and my heart sank into my stomach. All this was making me feel sick with grief. I just about died when the realisation set in that I would never be more to him than Luis’s stupid little sister, and I was just too young for him, and I would never have him, not the way she was having him at that moment.
He was a machine, because they had been doing that for what seemed like forever, it probably wasn’t as long as I imagined it to be, but I just wanted for it to be over, for it to stop and I wanted to go, go somewhere or be anywhere other than here. He didn’t hold her, caress her or even have the decency to kiss her or look into her eyes, he was just there, moving and like a damn robot, but I was still envious and sad of whatever it was they were having, the thing she was getting and I wasn’t…
How I wished it were me he was thrusting into, and taking me instead of her. I wished he was taking to those damned highs she was getting, but when eventually it was all over and she had finished screaming her cries of “yes, yes fuck yes”, followed by her then moans and disappointed deeper groans about not getting the more from him, the more she so obviously and desperately wanted. I sat there hearing him too, as he said no, that she’d served her purpose and not very well, that he hadn’t even got off, she didn’t do a thing for him, it was a mistake. He then wiped her clean with a handkerchief, he removed the condom and wiped his still hard length, then he simply mumbled his appreciation, as he put it away and left. He’d left her alone and crying and strangely, I felt her pain as she dialled a number on her phone. I listened as I heard those horrid words about Chris, words I didn’t ever care to hear again…
“He’s left me again Maddie, and yet again no kisses, no cuddles just amazing sex. Why do I come running to him time after time? He
fucks me hard and gives me the greatest pleasure ever, gets off and leaves? I feel like a prostitute, why do I do it? I don’t know, no, I don’t want his money, I never did, and I don’t want the gifts he will send me either. I just want him to love me, like I love him. I wasn’t kidding, I am going to trap him into marrying me, I will get pregnant and he will have to marry him. Oh shit Chris, no Christopher that’s not what it sounded like I swear baby…” When did he come back? I was too busy listening to her sob her heart out, to be watching for him coming back. I didn’t though expect the hurt and betrayal to be so wounding to him.
“I came back to say I was sorry, Alysia. I’d had a bad night, something happened earlier that has, well it’s rocked my foundations a little. A person I thought highly of has got herself pregnant with someone else’s child and I thought we, me and her would be the lucky ones having children. She wouldn’t need to trick me into having my child because I’d do that willingly with her.”
That’s what Chris’s dad had had done to him, and now Chris was being treated the same way, hell history does repeat itself. I feel sorry for him and angry at him too, her who I felt pity for, now I feel nothing but contempt, she was used but was about to use him the same way his father’s women had. Did Gina try to trap him the same way? Hell I could never do that, if I have children I want to do it the right way, be wooed, get engaged, have a lush big white wedding and then after a few years have children and raise them with my loving husband, yada, yada, yada. I yawn, oops, I hope that wasn’t heard?
“I realised she and I haven’t got a hope in hell and so, Alysia I came back to apologise and to take you to dinner, and maybe go dancing and get to know you better. I realised I had treated you badly, but how wrong was I? Hahaha, that’s so not happening, not now or ever again and please don’t wait for another gift or phone call, as there won’t be any more fuck me hook ups. You and I are through, and just in time too judging from that conversation. I won’t be impregnating you with my child, that gift was meant only to happen with the girl I wanted to date, the girl I wished I could ask to marry me, yeah there was a girl I wanted to be engaged to, and just one woman I hoped one day to marry. She was the one I wanted to have a family with her and her alone, I slipped up tonight with you. My damned anger got the better of me, and I foolishly phoned you.”
Soul Mates. The Beginning. Page 19