It was what he’d wanted. Going back in any way was a danger to his sanity. He’d only called today because of Anna, but…
“I’ve missed you, too,” Donovan said, and he realized he meant it. Looks like he owed Anna more than she knew.
“As for the info, I’ll see what I can come up with. I haven’t had much experience with adoptions over the years.”
“Me either, but I thought you might know someone who had.”
“I’ll see what I can do. I’ll give you a call if you tell me how to reach you and give me some information on the prospective adoptive parent.”
“Thanks,” Donovan said as he rattled off his number and address and gave Anna a glowing recommendation. “I owe you, Phil.”
“You don’t. We’re friends, Don. Right? Still?”
“Still,” Donovan agreed as he said his goodbyes.
He hung up the phone and looked out the window once again at those piers connecting water and land. A bridge, just like Anna. If she hadn’t come into his life he would never have called Phil.
Of course, given the fact that he had no intention of going back to his old life, he wasn’t sure if this process of reconnecting was a good thing or a bad thing.
But maybe the way she got him to do things even when she wasn’t trying to was just an Anna thing, something unique like her sunny ways, her concern for others or her lips that made him crave another taste.
Donovan slammed his palm down on the desk. He regretted that last thought. One slip regarding Anna’s lips had him recalling how it had felt to touch her and to have her mouth opening beneath his.
“Damn!” Donovan stood up, pushing away from his desk and, hopefully, away from the direction his thoughts had been roaming. He was getting far too interested in his housekeeper. If he continued in this manner, he was bound to set off another disaster.
His relationship with Anna had to be a professional one. There were lines he couldn’t cross.
“Set up some barriers and create some distance,” he ordered himself. That task would at least keep him occupied with thoughts of something other than Anna’s pretty lips. He hoped.
Her life here with Donovan was turning into a tango, Anna thought a few days later. When he entered a room she all but waltzed backward from it. When they ended up in the same space, they circled each other warily. The sheer physical energy of the two of them in the same place practically made the walls vibrate.
“I saw Donovan in town the other day,” Bridget had told her just that morning. “Somehow I kept myself from salivating, but, Anna, he’s even hotter than I thought. How can you be in the same room with him without bursting into flames?”
“It’s not like that with us,” Anna had said. “Donovan and I have a professional relationship.”
But just this minute she had walked in on him reading the newspaper in the library and she knew that her words were a total lie.
Halting just inside the room, her duster in hand, Anna started to excuse herself and leave. The newspaper rattled and she noticed the way his fingers splayed over the pages. He had such wonderful hands.
Heat rose within her even though the day wasn’t all that warm. “Excuse me,” she said. “I’ll come back later.”
“No.”
She stopped and stared at him.
He raised a brow, a hint of a smile playing over his lips.
“No?” she asked.
Shrugging, he stepped closer. “Forgive me. Make that no, please. I didn’t mean to be so direct.”
And she hadn’t meant to stare at him as if she wanted to do more than dust the room. Anna stared at the feather duster. “This can definitely wait,” she said as much to herself as to him.
“I need to talk to you. Why don’t you have a seat?”
Uh-oh. She swallowed nervously.
“Don’t look like that.”
“Like what?”
“As if you think I’m going to devour you or fire you.”
Anna sat. She waited, wishing she could figure out something productive to do with her hands. She hated being this way. Nervous. Indecisive. She raised her chin. “Maybe you’d better just tell me what you want. I like men who are direct.”
He looked slightly taken aback, but then a slow smile came to his face. “Okay, let’s be direct. I’ve been making the rounds of everyone else’s parties. It’s time I reciprocated. I’d like to invite a small group of people over this weekend. Can we handle it?”
No, she wanted to say. Being a housekeeper was one thing. Organizing an event designed to impress people who belonged in a world where she would always be a servant was something a million times different. But she had practically begged Donovan to give her this job. She couldn’t quit now.
“How many?” she asked.
“A dozen?”
“No problem.” Those were her words, but her thoughts were something more akin to oh, no! “I’ll just need to get some information from you. Linette and Clyde and John and I will take care of everything. Have you already issued invitations?”
Those slashing brows nearly joined when he frowned. “You think I’d ask people without first making sure you were prepared to do this?”
She couldn’t keep from smiling then. “Donovan, you’re the employer. I’m here to do your bidding. I’m sure that a man who has grown up with servants knows that.”
“It’s not the same.”
Now she was the one frowning. “Because I’m inexperienced.”
“Yes.”
Anna got up and began to pace. “Do you have any complaints about my job performance?”
He stepped up beside her, matching his gait to hers. “Absolutely none.”
She executed a quick turn. He stayed right with her. “Do you anticipate that I might not be up to seeing to the needs of a dozen people, even if they’re rich and used to the best?”
“No, I don’t. I known damn well that if I asked you to fly you would somehow manage to do it.”
She started to turn again.
Donovan placed his arm around her waist and spun her around so that she was facing him. Because she had been moving when he caught her, her momentum sent her tumbling against his chest. She gazed up into his eyes, feeling his heart beating against her skin.
“I wasn’t insulting you, Anna,” he said, his voice low. “I would never do that. But the truth is that you and I have never sat down and ironed out your job description. I’ve been thinking about that. I know how much you need the work and why. And I don’t want to inadvertently take advantage of you by asking you to do too much, because I’m pretty sure that whatever I ask you’ll do your best to comply. That’s a bit too one-sided. You need to be protected.”
“From you?”
He loosened his hold and she took a visible breath. “I didn’t mean in that way,” she said. “I wasn’t implying that you were taking advantage of me.”
“And yet I have.” His eyes darkened.
She shook her head. “No. Are you afraid you’ve asked too much of me as an employee, because if that’s the case, you’d be wrong. You haven’t asked. I’ve taken the initiative.”
“I know that, but I haven’t stopped you.”
She had to smile at that. “Do you really think that you could?”
Donovan crossed his arms. He studied Anna for such a long time that she felt dizzy. “I think I could,” he finally said.
He was right. She’d known all along that he was the one with the power. “But you haven’t,” she said slowly, “because you know how much I need this job.”
“That wouldn’t excuse me for letting you do too much. How about if we agree to this? I’ll promise that your job is secure. You agree that if you’re ever feeling overwhelmed, you’ll let me know.”
“And what will you do then?”
“I’ll hire someone to help you.”
“I couldn’t let you do that.”
Donovan stepped closer. He placed one finger beneath her chin, tilting her face up so
that she was staring into his eyes. “You wouldn’t have a choice, Anna. I’m the one in charge here.”
His gaze was almost overwhelming. She wanted to lean closer. But then the meaning of his words shot through her.
Donovan was her boss. He was in charge. She was only his employee, and he had just made that abundantly clear.
“Do you understand, Anna? I won’t let you sacrifice yourself.” He let her go then, and took two steps backward, but he continued to study her. “Anna?”
She raised her chin. “I understand. You’re the employer. I will, of course, let you know if I require help in order to do my job correctly.”
“Good.” His voice was harsh. He turned on one heel and left the room.
Anna let out a breath. She somehow found the wall and leaned against it. Her body sagged as reality hit, and she realized that ever since Donovan had come here, no matter what she’d told herself, she had not truly allowed herself to accept the chasm that stood between them.
He was her employer. He lived in a different world than she did. She was his to direct, and even if there was a physical attraction between them, there would always be a gaping cultural divide as well. A career divide. A life divide.
Donovan had made that clear.
Shame rushed through Anna. Somewhere inside, like it or not, she had harbored fantasies about him. She had dreamed about him. Even though she had known that there could never be anything between them, she had given in to those fantasies, however reluctantly. Now, even that had to stop. Allowing those dreams to continue could only hurt her and harm the future of her child. Her only goal right now had to be fulfilling her duties. She had a party to organize. It was imperative that she keep her mind off the man who was giving the party.
“It’s for the best,” she whispered to herself. Someday, once some time had passed, Donovan might end up married to one of the guests at this party. She needed to start acting accordingly. From now on her attitude toward him would have to change. In every way.
With great effort, she tried not to think about who might be on Donovan’s guest list. Instead she simply waited.
CHAPTER NINE
IF HE hadn’t already felt like a jerk, his latest behavior with Anna would have cemented the title, Donovan thought. He had wanted to set up some barriers so he wouldn’t be tempted to give in to the desire he felt for her, so he’d come up with the idea for this damned party. He’d thought it might create distance. Then, to keep her from running herself ragged planning the event, he’d pulled rank on her.
That had been totally unfair and arrogant. Because even if she was his employee, he had never really thought of her in those terms. He had plenty of employees, but Anna was different. From the minute he’d met her he’d known she was different. That had always been the problem.
“So, you acted like a pompous idiot and now she’s playing by the rules you’ve set.”
Ever since their conversation several days ago, Anna had been unfailingly professional. She had smiled politely; she had cleaned; she had organized and had treated him just the way any housekeeper would treat her employer. With distance and deference and respect and not an ounce of nosiness or stubbornness or spontaneous sunshine.
There had been no more humming or singing, no cute T-shirts, no acts of random impulsiveness like the time she had washed his car last week and had ended up totally and adorably soaked but triumphant. She had eliminated all the little things that had inadvertently, but constantly, brought her to his attention.
A frown drew Donovan’s brows together. He supposed he should be ecstatic. In other circumstances, he would be, but he knew that Anna’s natural tendency was to hum and sing and enjoy her work. He had silenced her, and she’d voiced not a word of complaint. She still seemed to like her job. So why was he feeling so ill-tempered?
He probably didn’t really want to know the answer to that question. It might be incriminating. It would probably lead him to thoughts of Anna’s lips. Still, he hated the fact that he’d somehow squelched her brightness.
“So go apologize—tell her you were wrong,” he ordered himself.
But then…
Donovan blew out a breath.
“Every time you do something personal like that, you end up touching her.” And if he gave in and touched her again, he might take things too far. Right now she was silencing her songs because she felt it was what the job required, but if he lost his self-control with her when he had nothing to offer, he’d end up hurting her for real. He might silence her songs for good.
There wasn’t a way out of this that wouldn’t be bad for Anna. Tonight was the party. After that…
Maybe he should start thinking of moving elsewhere, for Anna’s sake, giving her permanent work here and a set of rooms so she could have space for her child. The place would need a caretaker if he wasn’t here.
If he left, her life could get back to normal.
And he…
Could live anywhere. It didn’t matter.
He only hoped that was true. He already had his memories of Ben haunting him. He couldn’t have Anna haunting him, too.
Donovan was still reminding himself of that hours later when he descended to the first floor to greet his guests.
The uniform made her nervous, Anna conceded, as she and John circled the room handing out drinks and hors d’oeuvres. She couldn’t remember ever having worn a uniform in her life other than for gym class, but it had just seemed like the right thing to do. She didn’t want any of Donovan’s friends noticing her or questioning him for being too soft on his employees.
The man had dared look askance when she had come up to him wearing the black skirt, white blouse and apron.
For the first time in the past few days she had frowned at him. “It’s important to set the right tone,” she reminded him. “You’re trying to impress your guests.”
For the first time in the past few days a hint of a devilish smile had played about his lips. “I am?”
She tried to frown harder. “Yes,” she said firmly, refusing to say more. If she took this further, he might end up not only smiling but laughing as well, and both his smile and his laugh did awful, wonderful things to her insides.
Anna refused to think about Donovan’s smile. She went to the kitchen, gave Linette and John last minute instructions and tried to keep busy herself so that she wouldn’t hyperventilate. If she hadn’t done this right, if things didn’t go well…
The correct next thought was I might be fired, but she wasn’t really worried about that. For all that Donovan had been forced to remind her of their positions, she knew he wasn’t a vindictive man. No, it was him she was worried about. He was starting a new life here. If she goofed things up for him, he would be hurt.
“Let’s do this right,” she said out loud.
“I promise not to drop anything or spill anything.”
She blinked and turned around. John was standing there. She couldn’t help smiling. “Believe me, John, I’m much more worried about doing something wrong myself. You’re the experienced one. You have to lead the way and I’ll follow.”
A look of gratitude brightened his face. “You and Mr. Barrett are the best. He already found me today and told me not to worry.” He laughed.
“He did?”
John nodded. “He also told me that if I had to spill something, I might consider aiming for Ms. Williams.”
Anna widened her eyes.
Immediately John blushed. “Not that I would, Anna. I wouldn’t do a thing to embarrass him, not after he took such a risk hiring me.”
Anna patted his sleeve. “I’m sure he didn’t feel that he was taking a risk, John.”
“I know. He said so, but still…I’ll do my best by him.”
And so will I, Anna promised herself after John had gone.
She put her best, maid-of-the-moment face on, picked up a tray and followed John out into the high-ceilinged room where Donovan was entertaining his guests.
Anna had dec
orated the gold room with white candles and yellow roses. The candlelight flickered off the walls, playing against the brass and crystal chandelier and highlighting the carved molding of the beautiful, spacious room.
The room, lovely though it was, was nothing compared to the guests. The men all wore crisp black and white and the women were mostly in black or white as well. Like beautiful marble chess pieces, Anna couldn’t help thinking and then instantly felt awful. These people lived in a world different from her own, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have feelings and dreams and desires.
She held out her tray to an elderly man.
“Thank you very much,” he said, taking a glass.
Anna mumbled a “you’re welcome” and moved on, serving guests and being thanked at times. It seemed as if things would go all right, after all. Everyone seemed to like Donovan and he was being the perfect host.
She noticed his glass was empty. John had gone back to the kitchen to refill his tray. Realizing that she would have to do the honors, Anna’s breath caught in her throat. She had served Donovan many times in the past few weeks but somehow sidling up to him in this company seemed different. It made her feel exposed, as if anyone might look into her face and see that she was attracted to her employer.
Ridiculous. She was no longer attracted to Donovan. At least she didn’t intend to allow herself to be. And she had a job to do.
She walked up to him and held out her tray.
“Thank you, Anna,” he said, taking the glass and looking directly at her.
Oh, wasn’t it just like him to do that? He wouldn’t want her to feel like a piece of furniture and so he would call her by name and look at her. Didn’t he know that wasn’t the way it was done? At least she didn’t think it was. He probably knew much more about the process than she did.
“You’re welcome, Mr. Barrett,” she said, starting to move away, but she was still distracted by her thoughts and Donovan’s nearness. For a second, her foot caught on the shoe of the person standing behind her. For what seemed like forever, Anna teetered.
The Maid and the Millionaire Page 8