Back in the Game

by R. W. Clinger

  Honestly, I knew very little about the man and didn’t even consider him a close friend. Why did he pick me to dump his baggage on? Did he really think I could relate to his confusion, having intimate attractions to other men? We had circulated together among our professional conglomerates in the past, laughed over a beer once or twice, and discussed the game of football in full detail upon each social function. I didn’t know what his house looked like, but I did know that he had a wife named Virginia and was the father of two girls, Felicia and Dayton.

  I didn’t know his parents’ names or if he had any siblings. Nor did I know about his childhood, his relationship with his wife, and details of his life that any good friend would have surely known. I couldn’t even begin to explain what he had done in his spare time, his hobbies, and all of his daily functions and activities off the field. Lex was an acquaintance, not a friend, but that didn’t mean I was about to ignore him. Nor would I expose his secret to others, professionally and privately.

  “You think you’re gay, Lex?”

  He nodded. “I guess. I’m not sure. I really don’t know.”

  Comforting him, I placed a palm on his shoulder, gave it a squeeze, and admitted, “I can help you with this. Discreetly, of course. Just relax and take a deep breath. You’re going to get through this, whatever it involves.”

  He lifted his head and smiled. “Thanks, Shane. Something told me you would.”

  Chapter 20: The Arrangement

  Pro: I looked forward to having my bare bottom spanked by the Thors’ quarterback. The thought of having his jockish cock slide in and out of my rump during a heated and sexual encounter with his muscular bulk proved unlimited. I itched for him to grind my chest against his massive one, fulfilling a fantasy of my own. I wanted to embark on a blissful quest with the confused athlete, imparting him with comfort, less confusion, and the sexual means of his adult survival.

  Con: For the next three days, I lost sleep because of my conversation with Lex at The Reef Aquarium. An erection kept me up most of those nights, even when I took time to jack off prior to falling into a typhoon of queer dreams. Irregular sleep left me groggy and depleted during the daylight hours. I tossed and turned in sporadic motion, unable to reach the thick layer of REM or anything remotely close to it. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought the situation with Lex stressful. I hoped to live up to his sexual standards, and I desired him with all of my potential at the same time.

  Pro: Since we couldn’t expose our planned tryst in Turtle Bay Reef, nor in his hometown of Tallahassee, I arranged an evening together on a remote island in the Gulf. San Bisque was approximately ten miles long and one mile wide, with a tropical wind and a gala of romance. The island offered the use of an expensive and glitzy hotel with a restaurant, the perfect beach scene, and much privacy. Las Playas Del Rios, known for its discreet business methods, had often housed Hollywood stars, famous romance writers, and dirty politicians.

  Con: I didn’t want to become emotionally attached to Lex, even if I was one to fall hard and fast regarding relationships with men. I had a history of falling head over heels in lust with an arrangement variety of men in my youth, jumping into things when I really shouldn’t have. I wasn’t cautious, but I was brave and always ended up with what I wanted. Sleeping with Lex was one thing, a positive experience for the both of us, but opening my heart to him seemed a bit forward, a decision that could have been based on minimal thinking.

  Pro: I texted Lex on August 28 and gave him the details of our arrangement: September 1. 7:00 P.M. San Bisque Island. Las Playas Del Rios Hotel. Room 328. A second text followed the first and said: Let me know if you’re not going to show.

  Con: Had any of our football affiliates learned of our rendezvous, I believed that Lex’s career would have plummeted. Being outed as a queer in a professional athlete’s career was not always accepted and could have ruined the man. The last thing I wanted to do was damage Lex’s job, have his integrity questioned, and be the reason for his personal downfall. Nor did I want to ruin his various friendships with co-athletes and destroy his upstanding position as a family man, which included being a father and husband.

  Pro: I could not remove the quarterback from my mind. I constantly thought of his hairless chest grazing my own and his cut cock nestled at my lips. Dreamily, I became weak when those thoughts corrupted my afternoons and evenings. Although I had tried numerous times, I couldn’t push those obscene imaginings away, preventing a naked and adult scene of Lex’s two hundred pounds of muscle over me, indulging in his specific homoerotic pleasures.

  * * * *

  San Bisque Island

  Ferry Station & Las Playas Del Rios Hotel

  September 1, 20—

  6:27 P.M.

  I was not the type of gay man to carry a murse at my side. Therefore, I ended up empty-handed during my exit from the two-tiered waterbus that had docked on San Bisque Island. I wore a Mariners ball cap, sunglasses, khaki shorts, leather sandals, and a white cotton shirt that was freshly pressed and exposed my elongated neck. The evening’s ferry ride from Turtle Bay Reef was forty minutes long and relaxing. The massive boat, with its tinted windows, bobbed up and down as it sped across the Gulf’s blue-green surface.

  On land, I admired the postcard-perfect tranquility of the island: swaying palms overhead, yellow-orange sun falling into a slumberous sleep, white sandy beach to my left and right, minimal tourists, and the scent of salt in the air, a taste that was thick at the back of my throat. I had chosen well for Lex’s sexual escapades with me. The mainland was not that far away, but the island’s paradise-like appeal caused it to feel as if it were miles upon miles at bay. Seclusion and remoteness came to mind, which I hoped was how Lex had felt concerning the evening’s task, hidden and unharmed by the masses, only with me, alone.

  I thought it unnecessary to take a taxi to the hotel since it was within walking distance from the dock. My sandals had accomplished many miles, and I felt it only appropriate to allocate yet another half mile with the pair. My travels took me from the tropical-like ferry station down Rue de Azul, which was comprised of small island businesses that sold island hats, scuba gear, rentable golf carts, and suntan lotion, among other items. The avenue weaved in red brick and white sand. An occasional four-seat golf cart puttered by, and the local occupants kept to their own business.

  Las Playas Del Rios Hotel was seven stories high and a white and salmon pink spectacle on the beach. Palm trees decorated its sandy perimeter, and a bronze statue of Carol Escuchar, the pirate who discovered the island in 1604, welcomed the hotel’s guests at its oval-shaped entrance. Each room inside the hotel was accented with sliding glass doors and a two-person balcony that offered an impeccable view of the Gulf. Our room was a two-bed suite with a Spanish tile floor, jacuzzi, mahogany writing desk, and a matching table with two chairs. I turned off the air conditioner inside the room, opened the sliding glass doors, and allowed the Gulf’s air to circulate about the room’s cozy confines. Then I decided to call down to Los Espejos and make a dinner reservation for two at eight. I waited for Lex’s arrival on the outside balcony. Seated in a lounge chair, I enjoyed the evening’s beautiful orange-yellow-red-blue sunset and realized that, in a matter of hours, my naked body would meet the quarterback’s for the first time, and a personal fantasy of mine was going to come true at last. With that in mind, I toasted myself with a margarita, sipped the sweet concoction, and continued to wait for my date to arrive.

  Chapter 21: Preferring the Company of a Man

  San Bisque Island

  Las Playas Del Rios Hotel

  Room 328

  September 1, 20—

  7:11 P.M.

  He was a few minutes late when he finally arrived. I didn’t mind, though, since we had the rest of the night to spend together. We shook hands like real men. Then, to make him feel at ease, more comfortable, I hugged his bulk. He wore a tight yellow T-shirt that sculpted his core, a pair of khaki shorts, and sandals. A Rolex deco
rated his wrist, and I noticed he accessorized with his wedding band on the correct finger. Following my hug, I pulled away from him and went to the bar.

  “You need a drink.”

  “You’re right. Whiskey. Straight. No ice.”

  I started preparing our drinks while he watched. “Are you nervous, Lex?”

  “A little.” He stared at the faux crystal tumblers, then at me.

  “Don’t be nervous. We’re here as friends. Relax and enjoy yourself. I’m not going to bite you.”

  Taking the edge off for him, we downed two fingers of whiskey. During our second drinks, I thought about taking the big man in my arms and squeezing him against me, but I really didn’t want to scare him away. He had come to me in confidence for care, not rape. Nor did he want to be man-handled by my impromptu and hungry affection: fingers dragged over his firm nipples and pecs; my tongue inside his mouth; my swollen cock pressed against the inside of his thigh; the pumped cords along his neck fingered with precision.

  He needed a few minutes to adjust to the awkward situation. I was not about to cross a line and be rude by lunging at his blond goodness and heaping muscles, spoiling my chances at bedding the stud. Nor had I planned to drug him the way Coffler had methodically drugged Tommy. I intended to help Lex, not harm him, and I was patient about the tryst, even if it didn’t happen at all with the man.

  Instead of undressing there and then, I suggested, “Should we go for a beach walk?”

  “I think I’d like that.”

  “The evening is beautiful, and the twilight soulful. It will be good medicine for the both of us.”

  We finished our strong beverages, exited the room, and, shoulder to shoulder, went out onto Rojo Beach. There, we walked side by side along the rising shore, prefacing an entanglement by two men that clearly stated a sexual attraction for each other, mixed with some endearing romance.

  * * * *

  Rojo Beach

  7:27 P.M.

  Rojo Beach looked gorgeous that evening. Swirls of reds and pinks played and intermingled with the clouds. A light wind teased my hair, as well as Lex’s, and blew against our shoulders, licking at our shirts as we walked northward bound in the warm sand. There were very few people on the private beach. They relaxed on beach towels in the calming wind and ate ice cream cones purchased inland and brought to the beach. Couples necked on cement benches under palm trees. The temperature dropped to a sweet eighty degrees with no humidity, but in the distance, over the Gulf’s blue-green dark niceness, thunder rumbled, thudding in the heavens and warning of a minor storm for the later part of the evening.

  I wondered if Lex wanted to hold my hand, but believed he didn’t. When would he take me in his arms and kiss me? What plan did he have in mind? How soon would he act on his urges and have his way with me? I didn’t know, but I was patient with the quarterback to learn more of his game and its demonstrated plays. Instead of worrying about those unclear and naked frolics with the jock, I treated him like a gentleman and carried out an evening conversation with him.

  “How are Virginia and the girls?”

  “Away in North Carolina. Virginia has a sister there she and the girls are visiting for a week. They call it their Beach Week time. There’s a lot of novel reading, chick flicks, and girl talk about the sexiest young Hollywood stars. No men are allowed.”

  “Which gives you plenty of time away from them for this evening, right?”

  “This is something I just want to try. I’m not really sure where I sexually stand. I’m not the kind of guy who likes labels, Shane. Straight. Gay. Bisexual. I’m not keen on any of those tags. I simply need to find a little bit out about myself. Virginia knows I’m spending some quality time with you. It isn’t a secret. She’s a very good friend and listenes to what I have to tell her about you and this arrangement. She wishes me luck and hopes I will have a good time. There are no hard feelings between us, of course, which only makes me respect her more.”

  “When did these urges start for you?” I wanted to know as much as I could about his revelation and trials. I was pretty sure frustration had led him to me, seeking justifiable help, knowing that I was a nice guy, trustworthy, and attracted to him.

  “I think I’ve always had them. Sometimes I’ll look at another jock and think how attractive he is. I want to touch one of his biceps, a pectoral, or one of his sweaty thighs. The emotion is strong and unsustainable. I’ve never understood it and probably never will.”

  “And it’s also troublesome for you, I would imagine.” It was more of a comment than a question, attempting to relax him and make him feel at ease around me.

  “Yes, that, too. Sometimes I don’t know who I am, what I desire, and I feel lost.”

  “What else attracts you about men?”

  “Their asses mostly. Bulbous, tight, and muscular ones. They drive me mad and make me weak. I think about what I could do with them, hungry for their niceness.”

  Under my breath, I labeled him a pitcher over a catcher, ready for whatever he had to throw my way. “Do you like my ass?” I walked ahead of him a few feet, wiggled my asset, and laughed.

  “I do. It’s perfect for what I want to try.”

  I was flattered with his comment, but semi-uncomfortable at the same time. I felt vulnerable on our date, cheap and without standards. Whore came to mind, but I pushed the title away since I had had a crush on him for the longest time. Some kind of magnetism about the man drew me to him. It was more than just a sexual attraction and a naked fling. I actually could have seen myself being his boyfriend, turning into his lover, and settling down, creating him as the husband I had wanted him to be. What was whorish and cheap about that? Nothing I could put a finger on.

  Curiosity bagged me, and I asked, “How did you know to come to me, Lex?”

  “A hunch. Nothing more and nothing less. Plus, you’re a good looking guy.”

  “Do you know that I have always had a crush on you?”

  “Kind of. Let’s just say I took a risk and followed through with it. You could have told me to fuck off or laughed in my face if you wanted to, but you didn’t.” He reached out for my arm, stopped me from walking, and faced me. “Let me clarify something for you, Shane.”

  “I’m listening,” I said, hoping that I wasn’t being too forward with him, embarrassing myself.

  Sometimes things or happenings are better without knowing their sketchy details. With every positive comes a negative. I had a funny feeling, an irresistible itch of sorts that crawled under my skin, that he was going to tell me the latter, without censoring himself or saving me from humiliation or emotional turmoil. But I was ready for whatever he had to say, brave and strong.

  “Some guys on the team know about you being out and proud, and they respect you for it. You have very few enemies, if any, in the league. You’re well-liked. And those who do know that you prefer the company of a man over a woman just happen to like you enough not to mention a word about it. They really don’t care. You’re just one of the guys to them.”

  “So I’m safe for you, right? I’m someone you can become affectionate with, saving yourself from any consequences.”

  He nodded. “I trust you. There’s not many guys out there, athletes in general, I feel that way about. You’re a sweetheart, well-rounded, and you have your head on straight. You were the only one I could have chosen to help me. A lot of jocks are dicks, especially in the league we work for, and I couldn’t risk tonight with just anyone.”

  “I understand that,” I said, absorbing his comments and company.

  I felt flattered that he had picked me to confide in as a friend, a sexual teacher for lack of a better title, and someone he could trust and be honest with. The reality of his situation was delicate, and both of us knew he had turned to the right guy for help, whatever it is he wanted from me. Not many men would have let their guard down like that. But he did, building a new relationship with me, wherever it led us.

  “What if we do this and it leaks, Lex? Wha
t are you going to do then?”

  “I trust you enough that it won’t leak. You’re not that kind of man, which I have already stated and taken into consideration. You’re integrity is the finest. Everything about you is sweet, honest, and comforting. You shine above a lot of men in our field. How can’t I trust with you this arrangement?”

  “Thank you,” I said, unable to say anything more.

  “You’re welcome, friend. Tonight is going to change my life forever, and I’ve chosen you to help me with that. This is a huge risk for me, and I could lose everything I have. I’ve placed a lot of responsibility on you, Shane, but I know you can pull through and help me out. It’s another reason why we’re here together this evening.”

  I chose to lighten the mood and rattled off, “I’m glad you like me and my ass.”

  He chuckled, grasped one of my hands in his own, and gave it a squeeze. He swung our arms to and fro as we started to walk along the beach again, easing into our evening. “We’re going to have fun tonight. That’s what this time together is about.”

  “I just hope you don’t fall for me,” I said. “Some guys see me naked and hard, and it’s all over for them.”

  He chuckled. “That won’t happen. I’m here this evening to learn things about myself, not to fall in love, although you’re probably a fine catch. Any guy out there in the world would be damn lucky to have you.”

  “Thanks for flattering me. No wonder I’ve always had a crush on you.”

  “And I, you,” he said.

  “You have this all planned out then, don’t you? Every little detail.”

  “To the best of my abilities.” He continued to walk along the beach at my side and smiled in the twilight’s mix of pastel hues, attempting something different in his life, and something dangerous, maybe having no clue how his night was going to pan out, with or without me at his side.