I held onto his wrist and pulled him around, muscles straining against his huge bulk. He overbalanced easily, going head over heels in a move I couldn’t replicate if I tried it in the gym a thousand times. The troll landed flat on his back with his arms and legs splayed out wide. I picked up the axe and raised it high over my head. I looked down and saw the troll close his eyes as I brought the massive blade crashing down.
Then his eyes flew open as the splinters scratched his face when I buried the axe in the floor beside his head.
“Don’t move,” I whispered to the troll. Then I jumped from the middle of the ring to the upper corner of the cage, balancing precariously on the upper rails of the chain link.
“I win, Lenny, and the troll lives!” I shouted. “Now open the door. I’m hungry, and I don’t really care if I eat you or one of your patrons.”
I looked down at a balding man in a suit that cost more than my first car. He had a woman on each arm, obviously rentals or just run-of-the-mill gold diggers, and a Tag Heuer watch that kinda caught my eye. I bared my fangs at him, and he fainted dead away. The girls ran off, and I jumped out of the cage to land beside the fainted wuss.
“Nice watch. Thanks,” I said, slipping it onto my wrist.
“That’s not very nice, Mr. Black.” Lenny’s voice came from right behind me, and I turned to see him pointing a revolver at my head. It looked like a .357, but it was hard to tell with it pressed up against my nose.
“I’m not a very nice person, Lenny.” I reached up and pushed the barrel of the gun aside. “Now open the doors. I won. My friends and I are leaving.” I looked at him and put a little mojo into my voice, but it had no effect on the faerie.
“You cannot bespell our kind, you idiotic little vampire.” Something in the way he said that sounded familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. “You did not win, you forfeited. That was a death match you just ruined. You don’t get to change the rules. My house, my rules. And you are most certainly not leaving. I promised these people blood, and blood they shall have.”
He clapped his hands, and a small army of trolls stepped forward out of the shadows. One held each of my friends and the earlier beating victims, and the ones that weren’t holding prisoners held nasty-looking axes, swords and short spears with barbed points that looked like they could do really unpleasant things to people. I was happy to see that George looked like he’d held up well through the whole kidnapping into a fight club ordeal.
And then, out of nowhere, Lenny had that damn microphone again. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a fantastic surprise for you this evening! In addition to the bout you have just witnessed, the first time our audience has ever been exposed to a vampire’s speed, grace and evil power, we have another first for you here at Fright Night—a Battle Royal!”
“Now this isn’t the watered-down excuse for a Battle Royal that your silly ‘sports entertainment’ programs will show you. This is a true battle, where only the strong survive! Two teams will enter the cage, the great Warrior Trolls versus the forces of the evil vampires, and only one team will emerge victorious! But first, please step away from the cage. We need a little more room for this performance.”
With that, he waved his hands in the air over his head, and the cage grew. And it didn’t just expand outward, it got taller, too. What had been a fifteen-foot square with maybe ten-foot walls, was now a cage the size of half a basketball court with walls a good twenty feet high. And Lenny had transported all of us inside the cage. The spectators were outside, but Sabrina, Greg, Stephen, Mike, Alex and I were in the cage along with a bunch of terrified faeries, a bartender, a baker’s dozen of trolls and one faerie magician.
I looked over at Greg. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
He nodded. “Help me, Obi-wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”
Chapter 30
We were still unarmed, and even more outnumbered than when it was just me one-on-one with a troll. I ran to the side of the cage and picked up the axe that Gorton had dropped when I felled him. He was still lying there, holding his elbow tight to his body and glaring at me, but he obviously wasn’t going to be a problem. I just hoped we could end this thing before he healed and came after me. When Lenny had made the cage bigger, the other axe ended up on the inside of it with us, so I grabbed it too. I sprinted back to my friends and handed one axe to Greg.
“I figure we’ve got a few seconds before they figure out a plan and come after us. Sabrina, George—stay here and protect the humans. Greg, Stephen, come with me.” I snapped the head off the axe and gave Sabrina the handle. It made for about a four-foot bo staff, but it was the best thing I could come up with.
I grabbed the axe just behind the head and looked over at Greg. “Fastball special?”
He looked at me and shook his head. “You read too many comic books, dude. That’ll never work.”
“You got a better idea?” I asked.
“No. Lie down on your stomach.”
I did, and Greg grabbed my ankles and started to spin around in a circle. I held the axe head out in front of me and picked up speed with every rotation.
“I should try the hammer toss at the Ren Faire next year,” Greg yelled as he let go of my feet.
I flew across the cage at the massed rank of trolls, axe-first. I hit the first one head-on with the blade, cleaving the top of his head right off. For such a stupid creature, he had a lot of brains to splatter all over the place. I kept flying into the second troll, and managed to take his head off as well before the axe handle became too slick with blood to hold.
By then Greg and Stephen had caught up with me and were picking up the weapons dropped by the dead monsters. Stephen grabbed a troll short sword that fit him like a claymore, and started laying about like a madman. I had to duck to keep him from lopping off my ears. I grabbed a fallen sword of my own. Greg had squared off against an axe-wielding troll, and was trying to chip enough important pieces off him to get him to stay down.
Sabrina, George and Mike had formed a phalanx in front of the huddled mass of frightened faeries, until a troll got too close. Once one came within a few feet of their defensive stance, a pair of men vaulted over their heads and launched themselves at the troll with a flurry of kicks and punches. These guys obviously remembered their last trip to the cage and had a score to settle. I remembered Alex’s words to me earlier and grinned as I muttered “faeries, not pansies” to myself. At least for now, Sabrina, Mike and the others were safe.
I heard air whistling behind me and dropped to the ground just in time to avoid a gigantic clawed hand that would have ripped my lungs out. I lashed out with my sword, cutting the troll’s Achilles tendon, and he dropped to the floor beside me. Through it all, I heard the crowd screaming for blood. Ours or the trolls, I couldn’t tell.
I danced around as best I could, slicing out with my sword whenever I saw an opening, all the while trying to get back to where Greg and Stephen stood surrounded by trolls. I dove between one beast’s legs, stabbing upwards through his torso as I came up, and snatched his axe out of the air as he fell backwards, dead before he hit the floor.
“How many left?” I asked Greg.
“I got two.” He replied. “Stephen?”
“This one makes two for me. What about you?”
“I got three plus one incapacitated. So that leaves seven plus Lenny.”
I looked around but couldn’t see the faerie anywhere. It was about that time when I heard Sabrina swearing loudly. I looked over to where I had left them, only to see a troll lift her up and throw her out of the cage altogether. She landed in the crowd, and looked around for an entrance to get back in and help as the troll waded into the sea of humans and faeries, laying about with his huge fists, seemingly oblivious to the punches he was taking.
“Crap. Hold these guys,” I yelled to Greg.
He nodded, and I took off across the cage with a roar that seemed to come from my toes.
The troll going after the captive
s didn’t even look at me, just flicked out a huge fist and smashed me to the floor. I blacked out for a second or two, then came to just as the troll was swinging a sword at my head. I rolled to one side and leapt to my feet. Bad idea. I was dizzy from the punch in the head, and the troll saw it. He reared back and kicked me in the chest with one green-tinged foot. I felt a couple of ribs break, and flew about six feet before I landed flat on my back in the center of the cage.
The troll turned his attention back to the humans, and I staggered to my feet. He had just grabbed Mike around the throat and was rearing back to cave in his face with the other hand when I hurled my sword like a spear, right through the monster’s back.
His hand tightened for a second around Mike’s neck, and I saw his face go purple. I limped over and pried the troll’s dead fingers off of him, and Mike drew a deep, raspy breath.
“Thank you, James,” he said hoarsely.
“Pray for me, buddy.” I shook my head to clear my vision.
Then I made my way back to the fight and tried to assess our odds. Stephen and Greg had taken out another couple of trolls, so the numbers were slowly evening up. The problem was, the remaining four trolls were in pretty good shape, and we were starting to look the worse for wear. I had a few broken ribs and probably a concussion. Greg had one arm that he couldn’t move, and Stephen had a serious limp and blood pouring from a scalp wound. Plus we had the humans to watch out for.
I stepped up beside my two friends and we squared off with the remaining four trolls. They had an array of weapons to make the biggest Dungeons & Dragons geek envious. We had two swords, one axe, and a spectacular array of bruises.
“Ready boys?” I asked.
“Nope,” Greg said.
“Not even a little bit,” Stephen added.
“Good. So since none of us are stupid, what’s the plan?” I asked.
“How about we kill the green guys, then we take turns cutting on the greasy faerie, and I collect my winnings,” Greg replied.
“Winnings?” I looked over at him with one eyebrow raised. Apparently I can do it, but only if I’m so beaten up that half my face doesn’t move.
“Yeah, I bet all my cash on you to win your match. Lenny owes me fifty grand.”
“Fifty grand? How much did you bet?” I yelped.
“Two thousand. You were a pretty heavy underdog.”
“No wonder he wants us dead. He doesn’t want to pay you off.”
“Probably,” Greg agreed. “Should we start the killing now?”
“Yeah, may as well. Go for the legs if you can, the joints are the only weak spots that I’ve found.”
“Well, that and their golf game,” Stephen quipped.
“I’m the funny one,” I said. “Stay off my turf, faerie.”
“Bite me, vampire.” He grinned and wiped a little green blood off his face.
“Tease. What would Alex say?” Then I charged, more to ensure that I got the last word than out of any real bravery.
I turned and ran straight at the nearest troll, pouring on the vamp-speed. Instead of taking another shot to the ribs, I jumped high into the air and came down behind the trolls. I cut backward through his left leg, and he fell backward onto the canvas. I sliced off his head and turned to see how the others were doing.
Greg had tangled with the biggest troll of them all, and wasn’t doing so well. The troll held a huge sword in one hand, and a shield in the other, and was blocking all of Greg’s axe blows with his shield, then lazily feinting at him with his sword. I didn’t want to know what was going to happen when he got serious.
Stephen wasn’t faring any better with two trolls all his own. One held a standard short sword, and the other a nine-foot metal-tipped quarterstaff. Stephen was fast enough to keep from getting his head crushed, but not trained enough to make headway against two opponents.
I slid in on Stephen’s left and engaged the troll with the staff. He immediately caught me on the chin with his stick, and my eyes crossed again. I kept my feet, and kept moving enough not to get my head bashed in, but all I really accomplished was getting him off Stephen’s back so he could fight the other monster.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw the big troll smash Greg square in the face with his shield, and my portly partner’s eyes rolled back in his head as he slumped to the canvas. The troll lifted his huge sword over his head, and brought it down to chop Greg’s head off in the middle of the ring.
Chapter 31
The sword met steel with an enormous bell tone, and I turned my head to see Gorton standing over Greg’s unconscious body, an axe in his good hand. The other troll looked up at him in astonishment, and said something in a guttural language that I didn’t understand. Gorton shook his head and barked something nasty at the larger troll, who stepped back from Greg into the center of the cage.
There was something oddly formal in the way the two trolls circled each other, then stopped, saluted with their weapons and rushed together with a clash of steel and a sweaty thump of green-hued flesh.
The monsters traded massive blows in the middle of the ring for several minutes, neither able to gain an advantage. Gorton was the better fighter, but his wounded arm evened the scale for the bigger troll, who had strength and health on his side. After three or four long minutes, it became obvious that Gorton couldn’t win. He was just buying us time.
I looked over at Stephen, who had stopped fighting his troll to watch the duel just like I had. I jerked a thumb at the green brute behind him, and in unison we turned to the trolls next to us and lopped off their heads while they concentrated on the two combatants in the center of the ring.
The big troll saw what we did and flew into a rage, redoubling his attacks on Gorton. The smaller troll went down on one knee, and I rushed in to try to help him, only to run smack into an invisible wall.
Lenny floated down out of the air and said, “No interference, vampire. This is an honor match.”
“I’m not really that honorable, Lenny, so get out of my way.” Did I mention I hate magic? Well, I do.
“I don’t think so. Be still.”
He waved his arms at me and I was suddenly trapped, unable to move or lift my hands. Well, if I learned nothing else tonight, at least now I knew who was throwing around heavy-duty magic on this end of town, for all the good that would do me.
I turned my attention back to the fight just in time to see the bigger troll batter down Gorton’s defenses. Gorton’s axe head dropped to the floor, and the other troll reached out with one huge foot and stomped through the handle. Gorton looked up at him with a bloody smile, and the larger troll swept his head from his shoulders with one stroke. The body fell in the opposite direction from the head, blood pouring from the neck stump.
The big troll turned to me and grinned, starting to stomp my way waving his sword from side to side in a low arc. I couldn’t move because of Lenny’s spell. Greg was still out cold, and Stephen could barely move, he was so beat up.
I looked into the green-skinned face of my doom, and thought this is not how I wanted to go out. Salma Hayek is not anywhere in the building.
I closed my eyes as the troll got closer, and just as I thought I could feel its nasty breath on my face, I realized the spell was beginning to wear off. I could move, after a fashion.
I opened my eyes to see the troll standing stock still in front of me with a foot of steel sticking out of its chest. It started to fall forward, and I got out of the way the best I could. I heard a very startled Lenny mutter something very unpleasant under his breath, and looked up to see a golden-tinged dragon-man in full battle armor standing in front of me.
“Tivernius?” I gasped, baffled but grateful.
“Hello, James. Otto sent word that you had been attacked by trolls again, so Her Majesty asked me to protect her friends and her subjects.”
He eyed Lenny like he was something smelly he’d stepped in. Maybe troll spleen. There was a lot of that lying around.
“Leothandron
, fancy meeting you here. I thought you were banished to this realm and under strict orders to never touch magic.” The dragon turned warrior put on a fake smile worthy of Joan Rivers on Oscar night. “Now what is the penalty for disobeying Her Majesty? Oh yes, I recall. Death.”
With the last word, the dragon’s face went cold and he closed on Lenny, sword flashing.
Lenny wasn’t exactly defenseless. He conjured a pair of slim short swords out of thin air and easily parried the dragon’s strokes.
“Your little bitch-queen has no authority over me here, and she knows it. If she could do anything to me she’d be here in person instead of sending her pet lizard.”
Lenny slashed furiously at Tivernius’ face, but the dragon saw the obvious attempt at misdirection and easily batted away the thrust that came at his midsection. He had a tougher time beating aside the next attack, which came straight at his head from both swords.
I stood there, not wanting to distract Tivernius. Besides he didn’t need me. I mean, the guy was thousands of years old. He had to have learned a thing or two about sword fights, right? That comforting thought went out of my head when I saw Lenny open up a broad slash across the dragon’s mailed stomach.
Lenny’s black blades glowed red with blood, and the faerie smiled coldly. “You were never much of a challenge in human shape, lizard. You are only a threat in your true form, and you cannot transform in such a small building. Too bad, really. I’d love for all these people to see me beat a real dragon, instead of just another wizard.”
Lenny kept fighting while he talked, a feat I had grudging admiration for. I can usually manage a one-liner or two, but this guy was positively Shakespearean.
The one thing he couldn’t do was keep me bound by his magic while he fought and talked. My magical restraints vanished, and I quickly cut through the cage and got everybody out of there that wasn’t already dead. Stephen protested, but I shoved him through the chain link and Alex took over from there.
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