by Eva Luxe
I held up my hand to stop her. I wanted answers, but right now, I was so fucking glad she was standing on my porch. I wrapped my arms around her and drew her into me. I could feel her tense up at first, but then she slid her arms around my neck and patted my back.
“We’ll talk later,” I said. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
She stopped patting my back, and Paige’s nails lightly scratched me. I pulled back from her and smiled as I looked into her eyes. She looked just as relieved as I felt. I was so glad we were both together again.
Then my attention turned toward Blithe, and I could see the confusion pouring over her face. She was standing on the stairs just like I’d asked, her curly black hair a mess as she clung to her stuffed rabbit.
“Would you like to meet a friend of mine?” I asked.
She nodded her head, and I took Paige’s hand to escort her into the apartment. I introduced Paige to my daughter and watched as her eyes darted between me and the girl. Her smile was wide, and her eyes twinkled with joy as she slowly approached the steps. Blithe scooted up a few steps to get away from her.
“Hey there. I’m Paige. What’s your name?”
Blithe looked at me tentatively, like she looked to her mother the first time we met. So, I did exactly what Marlie did that day. I nodded at her to let her know she was all right.
“Blithe,” she said.
“That’s a beautiful name, Blithe. Tell me, do you have plans for today?”
“The beach,” she said. “I like throwing sea shells.”
Paige looked back at me with a huge grin on her face. “That sounds like so much fun. I hope you have a good time.”
“You wanna come?”
I was shocked at Blithe’s question, and I could tell Paige was, too.
“I mean, if it’s okay with your father,” Paige said.
“If it’s okay with Blithe, it’s okay with me,” I said.
The three of us packed up and got into my car. The next thing on my list was getting a car that was much safer than what I had, but for now, it worked.
I buckled Blithe into her car seat before Paige and I climbed in, and we set off for the beach while Blithe rattled off all the things she was going to do. She talked about digging holes and kicking the waves and throwing the sea shells back into the ocean.
She was ecstatic to be going, and I was ecstatic to be taking her.
Blithe went running onto the beach, and Paige stuck next to me. I watched as my daughter dipped right into the sand, digging into it with her hands as the waves washed against her legs. It was the biggest I’d seen Blithe smile since she came to live with me, and I stood on the edge of the wet sand and watched her with a protective eye.
“Will you let me tell you?” Paige asked.
I looked down at her quickly before I crossed my arms across my chest. “How much or how little you want to share is fine with me.”
“I’m a private investigator. Or I was.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I worked for a small company out of Seattle that researched various things. Our clientele was mostly spouses who thought their husbands and wives were cheating, but sometimes, we got actual criminal cases tossed at us.”
“No, I mean, what did you mean when you said you were?”
I watched her back stiffen before her shoulders heaved with a heavy sigh. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is this: your father hired me to check up on you.”
I felt my blood run cold as Paige’s eyes looked up at me.
“Only, I didn’t know that when he hired me,” she said. “When I went to his office—”
“You’ve met my father,” I said.
“Twice. I went to his office at the beginning of all this to get the information he already had, and then I went back a couple of weeks ago to give him a piece of my mind.”
“I bet he enjoyed that,” I said, snickering.
“The story he fed me was that you were stealing from his company. He didn’t want me to pin anything on you. He just wanted me to find you, watch you, and report back to him. That was the first sign that something was fishy. I couldn’t find proof to back up his allegations.”
“Did you at least figure out I wasn’t stealing from that fucker?” I asked.
“I did. I just couldn’t prove it. Evidence is everything in a private investigator’s job.”
“So, you got close to me to prove my innocence?” I asked.
“Not in the beginning. I got close because your father asked me to. He wanted information, and you weren’t a sociable person. So, I had to draw you out by being what you wanted to socialize with. But as pieces started falling into place, I stayed close in order to prove your innocence, yes.”
I chewed on the inside of my lip as I took in everything she was saying to me.
“When your father figured out that I was seeing through his ruse, he fired me. I headed back to Seattle the first time to report my findings, but the second time I left was because I had no other reason to stay in Brookings professionally.”
“Professionally,” I said.
“The distinction is important,” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
I looked down at her, and she was unnaturally focused on the horizon. Her shoulders were pulled taut, and her body was stiff. She squinted, even though the sun wasn’t that bright, and as pieces tumbled into place, I knew what she was getting at.
“I cared about what happened to you,” she said. “Even after I had all the answers and the case had come to a close, I still cared about what happened to you. About where you went from here.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you just resonated with me.”
“So, the sex wasn’t part of your scheme to get close to me?” I asked.
She giggled as tears rose to her eyes. “Not by a longshot.”
Our eyes looked out onto Blithe, who was now chucking shells into the ocean. She was giggling and running around, her legs soaked in salt water as the waves crashed and broke against the shoreline. Her curls were fluttering around in the wind.
Without thinking, I reached out to her and pulled her close to me. It just felt right.
“Zach, can I ask you something?”
“I guess,” I said.
“Have you ever wanted to reconnect with your father?”
I cracked my neck and bit my tongue, trying to gather my jumbled thoughts and form them into words. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath, thinking back to all the information I’d gathered on that man. If she was a private investigator, then she probably knew I had it. But it didn’t matter anymore. Not after all this bullshit.
“Maybe for a while there, sure. But after this? After he pretended I was a criminal, hired you under false pretenses, and sent you on this wild goose chase? Hell no.”
“Why not?” she asked. “Don’t you think people can change?”
“Sure, in another fucking lifetime, but this only shows me he hasn’t. He doesn’t want to be a father, and he doesn’t give a shit about me. All he wants is the information.”
“Well, what if—”
“Are you really going to try and defend his actions?” I looked down at her and found her gazing up at me, a determination set behind her eyes as she studied my face.
“I’ve had to defend worse,” she said plainly.
“Whatever. My point is, if he wanted to reach out to me as a father, he would’ve done it himself. All he wanted was to gather information on me. Like a businessman. Nothing more.”
“Maybe so,” she said. “All I know is this: if my father ever tried to find me out of the blue just to see how I was doing, I’d want to know why.”
“Oh really?” I asked.
“Yep. My mother was a junkie, and for all I know, my father was, too. The great thing about being an adult is that I can shield myself from whatever toxicity someone like that might bring into my life. And at least I would have answers.”
Blith
e turned to look at me and waved. I smiled and waved right back.
“I don’t want anything to do with him,” I said.
But her words hit hard and had my head spinning as we walked along the beach. Whoever she’d been pretending to be, her personality and intelligence were the same. Maybe she hadn’t been pretending all that much when we’d spent time together.
Blithe ran up to me and tugged on my pants. “Wanna throw shells with me?”
I quickly scooped her up into my arms. “I’d love to.”
“Wanna come?” she asked as she turned to Paige.
I watched Paige’s eyes light up with playful anticipation. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter 42- Paige
I understood why Zach didn’t want anything to do with his father. This entire situation had spun too far out of control, but I couldn’t shake Mr. Kent’s reaction in his office. I knew from the moment I first saw that man that he was hiding something, and I was right. So, I knew I could trust my gut on this. I had always been able to.
What I saw from Mr. Kent in his office that day was a true, vulnerable moment.
A part of me figured Mr. Kent deserved what ended up with. He deserved to have his family abandon him, and he deserved to live in the shadow of his actions forever. But another part of me enjoyed redemption. I believed people could change. It was part of what drew me to being a private investigator.
I also felt that Mr. Kent was seeking a second chance.
Why shouldn’t he get it? If he fucked it up, it was on him. Every single day, criminals around the world were released back into society. They were given a second chance to prove they could become productive members of society. If they got a second chance, why shouldn’t Kent get a shot, too?
“Miss Paige?”
I looked down at the little girl beside me as she tugged on my pants leg. I couldn’t get over how much she looked like her father. She had his same bright blue eyes and his exact raven-black hair. She had his curls and his intense stare. She even had his prominent jawline and his broad smile.
She also had his forehead. A forehead that belonged to Mr. Kent.
“Yes, sweetheart?” I asked.
“Can I tell you something?”
She lifted her arms up to me, and I picked her up just before another wave crashed around our ankles. Zach was tossing another seashell into the ocean before his eyes caught mine, and I watched the shock roll behind his beautiful gaze.
“Whatcha got for me?” I asked, smiling.
“I wanna go get some ice cream,” Blithe said.
“Ice cream, huh?” I asked as I grinned at Zach. “What kind of ice cream would you like?”
“Well, um. I like the pink one.”
I nodded. “The pink one? I’m usually a fan of the yellow one.”
“Eww, you eat the yellow one? Mommy told me never to do that.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Yellow ice cream is good.”
“Because someone peed in it!”
My eyes widened, and I laughed. I heard Zach chuckle like a rumbling thunderstorm off in the distance. I held his little girl close to me as she eyed me carefully, trying to figure out what was so funny.
“What?” Blithe asked.
“I think your Mom told you to never eat yellow snow,” I said.
Blithe shook her head vehemently. “She said never eat yellow ice cream.”
“You mean snow cream?” Zach asked.
“Yeah! Wait, what’s snow cream?”
“Great, now we’re all confused,” I said, giggling. “Well, how about this? We’ll go get ice cream, and I’ll get the purple one instead.”
“There’s purple ice cream?” Blithe asked. “What is it?”
“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out together.”
“I take it I don’t get an opinion in this at all?” Zach asked.
“Nope,” Blithe said, smiling.
The three of us packed up and left the beach to go find an ice cream shop. I looked for one on my phone while Zach drove through town. Blithe was just as content as could be. She was looking out the window and watching the shops pass by, and every few minutes, she would point at something that caught her eye.
“Look at that!” she said. “Puppy!”
“Do you know what kind of puppy that is?” I asked.
“A black one,” she said.
“It’s a poodle,” I said.
“But it’s not small,” she said.
“Some poodles aren’t. Regular poodles are actually the size of a German shepherd.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Have you ever seen a dog that has golden brown hair and it stands really tall? With brown eyes and a really wet nose?”
“Yeah!”
“That’s a German shepherd,” I said as I eyed Zach.
There was a small grin on his face as he pulled into the first ice cream shop we came upon.
“Wow. That’s a big poodle. Daddy, could we get one?”
The car came to an abrupt halt in the parking space as Zach whipped his head around. Furrowing my brow, I watched the silent transaction that took place between the two. Blithe was looking at Zach right in his eyes as Zach’s eyes danced around his daughter.
It was like he was taking her in for the first time. I wondered if it was the first time she’d called him Daddy.
“Daddy?” Blithe asked.
“Yeah? Sorry. Um, we can talk about that later, okay?”
“Okay, I’ll help take care of him,” she said.
“I’m sure you will,” he said, his voice choked with emotion. “You’re a big helper around the apartment with keeping your room clean.”
He shut off the car, and I reached over to take his hand. His eyes slowly panned up to mine, and I could see the storm of confusion gathering behind his eyes. There was so much rolling around in his head, and I wanted to get him to talk to me. I wanted to be his sounding wall so he didn’t have to shoulder all of this alone.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Let’s go get some ice cream.”
We got out of the car, and Blithe jumped into Zach’s arms. He carried her into the ice cream shop, and we picked out what we wanted. Then we sat at a table and ate our cones. Blithe was already covered in the pink and blue swirled ice cream she chose, and Zach was smiling at her as he ate his chocolate chip cookie dough flavor.
My eyes were on Zach, making sure he was okay and that he didn’t need anything from me.
“Miss Paige?”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Are you staying?” Blithe asked.
My eyes flickered over to Zach before I cleared my throat.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“Huh?”
“I meant, why are you asking?”
“Oh. Well, Daddy brushed my hair this morning, but it hurt.”
“You didn’t tell me that,” Zach said.
“I didn’t wanna hurt you,” Blithe said.
I could see the defeated look rise up in Zach’s eyes as he set his ice cream on the table. “Sweetheart, look at me.”
Blithe turned her body toward Zach before she looked up at him from underneath her long eyelashes.
Holy hell, she was a beautiful child.
“If I’m ever hurting you, for any reason, I need you to tell me, okay?” he asked.
“I know you didn’t mean to,” Blithe said.
“It doesn’t matter,” Zach said. “Promise me. If I’m ever hurting you, you say something.”
“Okay.”
Zach’s shoulders heaved with a sigh before he pulled his daughter into his lap. “I’m so sorry,” he said as he kissed the top of her head.
My heart leapt in my chest at the sight of Zach cradling his daughter. She turned her gaze back to me.
“Will you stay and do my hair?” she asked.
“Blithe, I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I said. “I mean, your father wants to spend
time with you.”
“But who will do my hair?” Blithe asked.
“I could teach your dad how to do your hair,” I said.
“And what about clothes?” she asked.
“What about them?”
“Daddy doesn’t know clothes,” she said.
“What makes you think that? I think what your daddy’s got on looks nice on him.” I felt Zach’s eyes bore into the side of my head as I locked my eyes with Blithe.
“But not girl clothes,” she said.
“She’s right,” Zach said. “I’m not good with girl clothes. Or how to manage her curly hair. It’s a lot coarser than mine is. She wakes up every morning with mats and knots that take me forever to get out.”
“I’m sure there’s some kind of hair product you could buy for her hair to make it easier,” I said. “I’ll take you to a store, and we can try out some things.”
“So, you’ll stay and go shopping?” Blithe asked.
“Well, I mean, I’m not sure—”
“Paige,” Zach said.
I looked up into his eyes as I struggled to find the words to explain myself to Blithe.
“When it comes to all this stuff, I’m clueless,” he said. “It might be nice for you to stick around and help out with the things I don’t understand. And it might help Blithe transition. She’s used to having a female figure around. Now, she’s been dumped with a man, and it might be a help to her. Plus, I learn better watching than being told.”
“Well, if it’s not a big deal, I’m sure I could get a hotel somewhere. I mean, I don’t have anywhere I have to be right now.”
“Why not?” Blithe asked.
“I’ve just got some free time is all,” I said.
“So you’ll stay?” she asked.
“I guess so,” I said, smiling.
“Yay! No more hurts!”
I giggled at Blithe as she bounced around in Zach’s lap. She threw her arms around her father before she scurried to me and threw her arms around my neck as well. I held her close and took in the innocence of her gestures before I started rocking her from side to side, our ice cream long forgotten about.
Then, I had an idea.
“Zach?” I asked.
“Yep?”
“If I stay, will you consider something for me?”