“Well, I mean, I’m not in trouble or anything. It’s just a hypothetical question.” Kate giggled nervously. “If a, let’s say, a bully was out to intimidate you and scare…what would you do?”
“A bully?” Ms. Dobbs repeated. Kate nodded. “Well, I’ve always believed that no one can intimidate you unless you let them.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Ms. Dobbs said as she readjusted her legs under her desk, “you know how bullies are? They seem so tough. And as long as you play along with their game, as long as you believe they’re tough and you’re weak, the game works. The bully pushes you around. You get scared. You do what the bully wants.”
“Okay.” The bully actually sounded a lot like Ms. Dobbs teaching a class, Kate thought.
“But if you suddenly decide not to put up with it, if you decide that maybe the bully’s not so tough and that maybe you’re not so weak, the game is over. The bully doesn’t get what he wants. His power is gone.”
“So, if the person just decided not to be weak or scared...that would take away the bully’s power?”
“You asked me what I would do. First, I would choose not to be weak and scared.”
“Hmmm,” Kate nodded. It wasn’t exactly a plan. She had been hoping for something a little more concrete, like a business card with an exorcist’s phone number.
“But you have to believe it. You can’t fake it. You have to really believe that you are tough in here.” Ms. Dobbs pointed to her heart. Lisa opened the classroom door and entered, the stack of papers clutched in her hand.
Ms. Dobbs had them do other tasks around the classroom. After another half hour, she said she was caught up and there was nothing else to do.
“Thank you, girls. I’ll turn in your service documents to the office so you get credit.”
“Thank you. See you tomorrow,” Lisa said.
Kate turned to face the teacher. “You know, I think I actually like the ending of Jane Eyre, now that I think about it. It’s weird, like life.”
“Life is certainly that...weird,” Ms. Dobbs nodded her head somberly. “Bye, girls.”
After the door closed and Lisa and Kate were walking down the hall, Lisa sighed. “That wasn’t so bad, right?”
“No, not bad at all.”
“Want to come over to my house? My mom’s waiting outside.”
“Sure. Actually, that’s great because I have something for you.”
*
After another argument in Vietnamese between Lisa and her mother, and another snack and soda in the spotless kitchen, the girls curled up on Lisa’s bed. Kate finally told Lisa everything.
“I can’t believe you kissed Patrick!” Lisa said, with a wide smile full of perfectly straight, white teeth. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“It was so weird at school today. I mean, I have almost every class with him. I’d walk in and see him sitting there and my heart would start beating fast and I’d get all nervous. It’s so silly, because just last week I was fine. Just last week, I was obsessing about Jacob.” Kate shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I like Patrick, a lot. I don’t want to screw it up.”
“What about Jacob?”
“I’ve got to tell him. Somehow, I think he already knows. It was over with Jacob about ten minutes after he got here.”
“Oh, but he’s so fine!” Lisa said with a tiny whine.
“Yeah, he is,” Kate said, thinking about Jacob, but the memory of his face no longer stirred the same feelings. She mostly felt sad when she thought of him now.
“Let me ask you something,” Lisa said, twirling a piece of hair around and around her finger. “How was the kiss with Patrick? Sloppy? Did he use his tongue?”
“It wasn’t sloppy at all and there was a little bit of tongue. Not too much. In fact, I think it was the best kiss I’ve ever had,” Kate said, relishing the memory.
“Really?” Lisa leaned forward with dreamy eyes. “How come I haven’t been kissed like that?”
“You’ve got to get your parents to let you out of the house after dark. Then, you might actually meet somebody.”
“Fat chance of that happening.”
“Hey, when you get to college, you can do whatever you want.”
“Yeah,” Lisa said, but without enthusiasm. “Why Patrick? He’s just quiet and just kind of there.”
“I know, but there’s a lot more to him. He’s really smart. He’s got those beautiful eyes.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And he’s just so nice to me. I think he cares about me. He takes me seriously too, I guess. I don’t know. There’s just something about him.” Kate leaned in closer to Lisa and whispered, “And you know, I’ve never dated a guy with long hair before, and there’s something about it that drives me crazy!”
“You’re hopeless,” she said, laughing. “It doesn’t sound like you’re going to be running your hands through that hair anytime soon. I mean, you’re digging up that dirt room in your basement on Friday night, right?”
“Right, but Patrick’s coming. He’s going to help.”
“Sounds romantic,” Lisa said, sarcastically. “Is Chris going to be there too?”
“No, he’s going to his grandmother’s house for the weekend. She lives out in the middle of nowhere, West Virginia. He says there’s only one gravel road in the whole town.”
“Yuck,” said Lisa, who was a city girl down to her bones. “Does he have to go?”
“He loves to go there. He says it’s quiet and peaceful. I bet it is,” Kate said. “Maybe someday he’ll take us out there.”
“Hey, you said you had something for me. What is it?” Lisa asked, sitting up.
“Oh, yeah.” Kate reached into her backpack and pulled out a tube of paper wrapped in a rubber band. “I got this for you at the mall.” She handed it to Lisa. Lisa slipped the rubber band off and carefully pulled the paper down, revealing a poster.
“The Killers” Lisa laughed. “Is this my replacement? For N’Sync?”
“You got it!” Kate went to the door and pulled the tacks out of the wood. The N’Sync poster dropped to the floor where Kate kicked it out of the way. She tacked up the Killers poster in its place. It looked good.
“Oh, my gosh. My mom will die when she’s cleaning my room tomorrow. She’ll see this and absolutely flip out.”
“Good,” Kate said.
“Thanks,” Lisa said. “I may not get to keep it, but thanks anyway. Hey, come over to my house this weekend if you want some candy. My Mom always buys the good stuff, big chocolate bars.”
“Do the Vietnamese celebrate Halloween?” Kate asked, surprised.
“Of course, we do,” Lisa said, rolling her eyes. “I was born in New Jersey, Kate. They do celebrate Halloween in New Jersey.”
23.
On Thursday night, she finally forced herself to punch out Jacob’s number on the telephone.
“Hey, sweetie. I miss you already!” Jacob’s voice chimed on the line.
“Hi, Jacob.”
“How are you doing?”
“Well, I have to talk to you,” she said in a quiet voice.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. She could sense his discomfort. Perhaps he knew what was coming.
“Listen, I really like you Jacob. I mean, I love you, but this just isn’t going to work out,” she blurted out, afraid that if she didn’t say it all at once, she wouldn’t say it at all. The line was silent for a few minutes. “Jacob, are you still there.”
“I’m still here.”
“I’m sorry, but you must have sensed it too. Whatever we had, it’s just gone.
“I didn’t sense that at all. I thought we had a great time. I had a great time being with you,” he said, almost pleading.
“I had a great time with you too, but...”
“So, what’s the problem? We love each other. I don’t want to let you go.”
“Look, we’re not even in the same state. You’re not going to move here. I know it.”<
br />
“You haven’t even given me a chance! I’ve just been busy at school.”
Kate started to choke up. Breaking up with guys was never tough in the past. She just moved on. This was different. Jacob had been a part of her life for a long time. Even though she wasn’t physically with him, between letters, phone calls and amorous day dreaming, she had built a routine around him that dominated much of her life. This breakup would leave a big hole. She took a deep breath and tried to be strong.
“Look, I know that you’re seeing someone else,” she said.
“I am not!” he came back, his voice a high pitched squeak.
“I know when you’re lying to me, Jacob. I saw it in your eyes when I asked you,” she said, tears starting to fall from her eyes.
He remained quiet for a few moments, then spilled the truth. “I had a fling, that’s all. I’m not seeing her anymore.”
Kate’s tears fell faster after Jacob’s confession, but she kept them silent. Neither spoke for a few minutes.
“I’ve got a confession to make too,” she said, hoping to convince Jacob that their relationship really was over. “I’m interested in another guy.”
“It’s Chris, isn’t it? I just knew it. I saw you looking at him with your sister and you just couldn’t stand it,” Jacob said, speaking quickly and forcefully. “I’m going to come down there and kick his scrawny butt.”
“Oh, stop it Jacob. It’s not Chris,” she said. Then added, “It’s somebody else. You don’t know him.”
“Did you cheat on me?” he asked quietly.
She debated telling him the truth. “I kissed him.” She heard Jacob pull the phone away and a flow of profanity followed. She winced. When he was back on the line and calmer, she continued. “I do love you, Jacob. I always will. But it’s over. You know it too. I’m just the first to admit it,” she said in a soft voice that she hoped was comforting.
After a short pause he said, “I’ve got to go,” and hung up on her.
Kate stared at the phone in disbelief. “Jacob?” she said into the quiet phone. No guy had ever hung up on her before. She was disturbed and annoyed by the sudden dismissal. She felt like calling him back, but decided against it. Instead, she picked up the teddy bear Jacob had given her last summer, she wrapped her arms around it and cried. Ace looked up sympathetically as she shook the bed with her sobs.
After a long, cleansing cry, Kate decided to finish the job of breaking up. She grabbed a shoe box from her closet. Then, she picked up the picture of Jacob she kept by her bed. She looked at the dark eyes, the tan skin, the carefully combed hair, and then she placed the picture carefully into the shoe box.
Letters were next. A couple of romantic cards he’d sent were lined up like dominoes on her night stand. They were constantly falling over and she always straightened them up again. Tonight she tearfully read them one last time, gathered them together and placed them in the box with the picture. Crawling under her bed, she reached and found a manila folder with letters from Jacob.
She rolled the file into a tube and slipped a rubber band over it.
Finally, she took the rumpled teddy bear, the shoe box and the tube of letters and placed them on a high shelf in her closet. She threw a sweater over the pile to remove it from her sight. She’d decide what to do with it all later. She fingered the gold cross around her neck and decided to keep it on. For now. She wasn’t sure why.
She changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed. Curled up with Ace, she explained to the dog why she and Jacob had to break up. Ace listened, and sighed, and then scratched a time or two, but she knew he understood. Kate eventually fell asleep this way, exhausted from emotional turmoil.
But her sound sleep didn’t last.
*
Kate woke up. Even in the complete darkness, she knew she was not in her bed. She wasn’t even lying down. She seemed to be on her hands and knees, crawling. Her mind snapped awake. She cautiously ran her hand over the surface under her. Dirt.
She caught her breath. Complete horror stole over her and yet she couldn’t move. Frozen with fear, Kate could only breathe frantically.
Then, she felt it. She felt something touch her, icy fingers running along her spine, cold tentacles under her hair. That finally broke the paralysis. Kate jumped and bumped her head against the wooden ceiling of the dirt room. She swiftly crept across the dirt, nearly colliding with the basement wall. She saw a square of dim light nearby--the window to the laundry room. Kate lunged for the window, put her hands on the sill and jumped through the opening, whimpering with fright.
That’s when she felt it following her. In the near total darkness, she sensed cold prickles on her skin. Kate turned and sprinted out of the laundry room. She bolted up the stairs and flung herself against the door, turning the handle simultaneously. It didn’t budge.
Panicking now, Kate pounded the door with her fists, whimpering. Then she remembered the light switch. She turned and flicked the switch on the wall. In the split second the light was on, she saw something coming up the stairs. But immediately, the light bulb burst, shattering into slivers. Kate could hear the thin pieces of glass tinkling onto the stairs.
A loud, high pitched squeal emerged from Kate’s mouth. She lunged her shoulder at the door, not even feeling the resulting pain. She panted for breath and lurched again. Suddenly, she felt a coldness moving across her body. And then, an icy whisper hissed in her ear.
Kate threw her entire body against the door and finally it popped open, Kate falling after it. She fell headfirst onto the kitchen floor, quickly picked herself up and ran for the back door. Without looking behind her, she threw open the deadbolt and yanked the heavy back door. Practically tearing the screen door off its hinges, she pitched herself into the backyard. She plummeted down the three concrete steps and fell flat on her stomach in the cold, wet grass. A chilly drizzle was falling, but Kate barely felt it.
She found herself gasping for air, her throat blazing as she pulled in oxygen as fast as she could. She lay in the wet grass, trying to slow her breathing. Kate pulled herself into a sitting position and finally turned around to look into the house. It was dark, but quiet. Still, she found she couldn’t bring herself to reenter the house, not even for a look.
She shivered forcefully. She certainly couldn’t stay out here. She was getting wet and wearing nothing but a nightgown. At first she sat in stunned silence. She looked down and saw that her belly and knees were streaked with mud. She wiped at them with her muddy hands, which didn’t do any good. She tried to clear her head. “Think,” she said out loud. She couldn’t bear to go back in, not alone. It could still be there, waiting for her. She shivered violently at the thought.
She didn’t even know what time it was. It could be hours until daylight. She sighed, not knowing what to do. Would turning on the lights help? Would it keep the blackness away?
She decided to take a peek in the back door. She crept up the steps and looked into the dimly lit kitchen. The door to the basement was still ajar, but the rest of the kitchen seemed quiet and orderly. Kate decided to make a break for the light switch. She steeled herself, took a deep breath and started to walk through the door, but before she could move, she saw the door to the servants’ stairwell open and Lucy stumbled through the door. She shuffled across the kitchen floor, heading right toward the basement. Kate noticed with horror that her eyes were closed. Lucy was still asleep.
“No!” Kate ran into the kitchen and slammed the basement door. She grabbed a chair from the breakfast nook and jammed it against the doorknob. She didn’t know if it would hold the evil in, but it made her feel better.
Without pause, Kate dashed across the tile floor and flicked on the kitchen light. Thankfully, the overhead light buzzed into life. It glowed brightly, reflecting off the white cabinet doors and filling Kate with a small sense of security, if just for the moment.
Lucy hadn’t moved. She stood silently in pale blue pajamas, only her eyes moving. She searched the room and th
en looked at Kate. “What am I doing here?” she whimpered, confused and frightened.
Kate grabbed Lucy’s hand and pulled her into the breakfast nook, away from the basement door. Again, she snapped on the light. She then walked to the family room and turned on that light as well. She grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around herself.
“Why are you all wet?” Lucy still looked stunned. “And muddy?”
Kate gulped, not sure how to explain it all. She washed her hands in the kitchen sink and patted them dry with a dishtowel, leaving faint streaks of mud.
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