She smiled triumphantly into his collar.
“Promise me one thing”, his voice was soft.
“What?”
“That you’ll never go back...”
He didn’t need to specify what he meant as she knew exactly where he was speaking of. And it was easy for her to agree as she’d never been there in the first instance. Yet she couldn’t shirk the pain that jabbed at her heart at his underlying meaning.
He had no intention for their relationship to surpass the contracted period and he wanted to ensure that she didn’t lose sight of that fact; free his conscience perhaps. A harsh laughed bubbled inside her throat at the thought. Sebastian Bradley didn’t have a conscience. Well, she wouldn’t, she told herself staunchly. She would walk away from him, without so much as a backward glance, when the time came.
Then why did her heart feel as if it was being ripped from her chest?
“Ok”, she smiled wanly as she lugged to her feet; adjusting her disheveled clothing and rushed, on shaky legs, in search of the bathroom.
Once there, she locked the door behind her and splashed cold water over her face. Only then did she release the tears that had been burning the back of her throat. She placed her forehead, gingerly, against the cold glass and silently cried her heart out. Since he cared so much about her not returning to her alleged profession, perhaps she should’ve told him that she’d never quit, she thought bitterly.
She shrugged aside the foolhardy notion as she dashed the tears from her eyes and stiffened her spine. She glanced around the room that was now hers or would be as soon as she repaid him the money he’d spent on the building. It was evident the place had been renovated and thoroughly cleaned from the shiny glass and the pristine marble sink and contour. Similar to the room she’d just departed, the glossy hardwood floors were immaculate.
She thought for a moment of declining his offer as she left the bathroom but decided that that would simply be stupid. Joshua’s illness had proved that she needed financial stability and this was as good an opportunity as any to achieve just that. She didn’t have to see him while she repaid the money, she could simply lodge it to an account through his lawyers.
Now all she had to do was get through the next few weeks and leave when their arrangement ended.
CHAPTER THIRTY
THANKSGIVING CAME AND THEY HAD A QUIET DINNER for two at the penthouse. She glowed with pride as he exclaimed in delight as he ate the turkey she had prepared. Afterwards, they curled up on a couch in the garden terrace and sipped homemade eggnog as they spoke of nothing in particular and somehow everything in between.
He’d drafted the contract as she’d requested and after completing the preliminaries; she’d decided that she would wait until Joshua had done his transplant before she opened for business. He’d made no mention of their arrangement or her supposed profession after that afternoon in the building and she soon decided not to think of it.
December arrived in all its frigid glory and they went out less; contented to watch movies and play chest or naughty card games before the living room couch, each night. Most nights would end with cataclysmic lovemaking while others, tranquilly, with his head resting on her stomach as she tenderly stoked his hair. Until she didn’t count the days they had left, with impending doom.
“Hello Paige”, William greeted pleasantly, pulling her from her reverie, “it’s so nice to see you again, as beautiful as always”.
“Thank you Mr. Bradley”, she responded graciously, taken aback by his congenial attitude.
They were gathered at a staff diner party being hosted by Sebastian to honor their hard work throughout the year. Their conversation was interrupted as Sebastian’s deep baritone solicited everyone’s attention and the room grew silent.
She listened, aptly, as he captivated the audience, herself included, with his empowering words and commanding tone and her heart swelled with love.
“Always had his mother’s knack for dealing with people”, William said as if he was speaking to himself and she turned sharply to gape at him, “always knew exactly what to say to get the response she wanted”.
The crowd erupted into applause as Sebastian finished speaking and that seemed to break his trance.
“Well I must be on my way” and just as suddenly, he was gone but not before she’d seen the regret in his eyes.
Her body melted as Sebastian came to her side shortly after his father disappeared into the crowd, “what did my father want?”
“He was just saying hi”, she slid both her hands through his, “Sebastian he’s proud of you in his own way”, she murmured softly for their ears only.
He scoffed; his expression darkening.
“He’s just an old man who is set in his ways”, she smiled encouragingly, “you’ve found the strength to change the things you can. Now you must accept those you cannot.”
His face creased into a smile; his brown eyes intense, “I’m beginning to believe in reincarnation because every time you speak I get the idea that you’re an old soul trapped in a young woman’s body”.
She laughed heartily at the notion.
“Come, let us dance, oh wise one”, he jeered, laughingly, as he guided her unto the dance floor.
“Why is that woman watching us like that”, she asked as a beautiful woman with waist length jet black hair stared oddly at them for a moment, “do you know her?”
He turned in the direction she was looking and an odd expression crossed his features as the woman glanced away.
“No one you should worry yourself over”, he said blandly and unease crawled up her spine.
He seemed distracted for the remainder of their dance and they left shortly afterwards. She made feeble attempts at conversation but he barely acknowledged her and she wondered miserably, if he was thinking of the woman who had been watching them at the party.
“What’s the matter?" she asked finally as they entered the penthouse.
“Nothing, I was just thinking of how contented my employees seemed."
“Ok”, she relaxed a bit.
“Brad sweetheart”, they both looked up in shock to see Elizabeth seated on the sofa and Paige’s world came crashing down.
Elizabeth stood, her arms outstretched as if to embrace Sebastian before he held up a hand to halt her and Paige’s face heated as she saw that Elizabeth was wearing one of her silk robes. And it didn’t go unnoticed that Elizabeth was yet to acknowledge her presence.
“What the hell are you doing here Beth and how did you get in?” Sebastian demanded and she halted in her tracks.
“I still have the keys you gave me”, she purred, “and I didn’t think your invitation for me to move in had expired”.
Paige felt the blow that was most certainly aimed at her, all the way to her heart.
“Get out!” Sebastian said coldly and she could feel the rage emanating from him.
Elizabeth fidgeted slightly and Paige could see the clear outline of her firm breast through the thin silk robe and she knew Sebastian must have seen it too. A hot streak of jealousy started in the pit of her stomach at the thought.
“Brad darling, calm down please”, she was all charm and repentance and Paige felt sick to her stomach.
Her full lower lip began to tremble and Paige glanced away; feeling as if she was intruding on a very intimate moment. Perhaps she should give them a little privacy, she thought, it was evident the two had unresolved issues to settle.
“ah, I…think I… should probably go”, neither party spared her a moments glance and her face burned with shame as she strode from the room on legs that felt more like mush than actual flesh and bone.
CHAPTER THIRTY ONE
PAIGE SAT UP IN HER BED AT HOME; HER head resting on the headboard and her legs curled beneath her as she struggled to concentrate on her favorite television comedy show. It was almost noon and she was still in her pajamas and her hair was a tangled mess. She really should go and get dressed to go and visit Joshua but she si
mply couldn’t find the urge to do so.
It had been five grueling days since she had walked out of Sebastian’s penthouse and she hadn’t seen or heard from him since. She barely ate, she couldn’t sleep and she just stumbled through her days without any actual enthusiasm, whatsoever. The nights were her worst as they seemed to drag on forever; the memory of Sebastian haunting her every moment.
She’d promised herself that she wouldn’t cry as she’d boarded the elevator after leaving his penthouse and she’d meant to keep that promise until the cab drew away from his building. She’d wanted to tell the driver to stop but she couldn’t speak around the knot in her throat and that was when she’d tasted the salty tears on her lips and knew she was crying.
She’d sat on the swing chair on the patio, for what seemed like hours, when she’d gotten to her house, struggling to process what had transpired earlier. How could this be happening? She’d thought they had time. There was at least seven weeks remaining in their contract. Why had she left like that? Her mind raced with possibilities and unanswered questions.
Emotionally drained, she’d entered the cold, dank house and climbed the stairs to her bedroom where she’d crawled into bed. Her eyes stung with tears as images of Sebastian in her arms invaded her thoughts. Had he and Elizabeth kissed and made up? Were they in bed together this very instant? Her heart ached at the thought; fresh tears forming in her eyes. Convincing herself that it was a bad dream and it would all disappear in the morning; she slipped into a troubled sleep.
Morning came with heavy snowfall and she lugged out of bed; insisting that she had blown the situation out of proportion and Sebastian would soon call and demand that she be present at some engagement or the other. She was ashamed to say she hadn’t visited her house in well over a month and the stale air and dust told the tales. Thus, she’d begun cleaning away the grime as she played the horde of messages left on her answering machine; instinctively awaiting the sound of his voice.
There were a few messages from Maya demanding to know why she’d taken such an extended leave, then arguing with her for not telling her about her relationship with Sebastian and finally about her appearance in several magazines. All of the others were from her facebook friends; most of whom she hadn’t spoken to since high school or since she’d quit college. Each of whom made reference to her relationship with Sebastian and as a result, the tabloid’s apparent interest in her.
She’d known of the sensation her presence was creating on the Upper East Side but she’d thought if she ignored it, it would make the fact that she was a liar and a fake seem less real. Her heart fell as the answering machine grew silent and there was no word from Sebastian but she squared her shoulders. The day was still young, she told herself firmly.
However, as the day dragged on and Sebastian didn’t contact her; her self-assurance wore thin. She’d listened to Joshua with half an ear; her plight weighing heavily on her shoulders, as evening drifted into nightfall and still no word. And as she’d returned to her empty house; the loneliness was so palpable, it was almost stifling. This was exactly why she’d left; because she’d feared his rejection, she’d been afraid that he’d choose Elizabeth over her.
He didn’t want her anymore. She’d known the day would come; had thought she’d prepared herself, sufficiently, for the inevitable but nothing could ease the agony inside her heart. Perhaps he truly loved Elizabeth and they’d found a way to resolve their differences. The idea was like a knife wound to her heart. Desperation had led her to calling him several times without answer which had further heightened her despair.
She’d tossed and turned that night; her world gone awry, everything was all wrong. Her body ached, almost painfully, for his touch, the usually comfortable mattress felt excessively lumpy and the man she cherished was hers to love no more. If ever, he was. She hadn’t gotten out of bed the following day and for the second time since his diagnosis; she didn’t see Joshua for an entire day.
She’d been certain that she’d never get out of bed again until her Grandmother, Rowena, had called and even though Paige insisted that she was alright; her Grandmother knew better. After assuring that it wasn’t Joshua; she immediately guessed that it had something to do with a man. Paige had bitten her lips to prevent herself from dissolving into fits of tears as her grandmother spoke comfortingly to her; declaring that it would all be better, given time.
She’d then declared that she’d be on the earliest flight to New York but Paige, pleasantly, but firmly asserted that that wouldn’t be necessary. She’d laughed, besides herself, as her Grandfather informed her that he would be cleaning his riffle to come for the ‘bastard who’d hurt his baby girl’.
She’d risen out of bed the morning following her conversation with her Grandparents but she couldn’t seem to shirk the aching inside her heart. Not wont to gossiping or prying into the affairs of others; she’d been shocked at her sudden urge to know what had ended the relationship between Sebastian and Elizabeth. And even more astonished, when she found herself searching for the information on the internet.
The article didn’t say much, except that Elizabeth had disappeared a week before their wedding, sending Sebastian and her family into a fright as they’d thought she’d been kidnapped until Sebastian found her in Paris two weeks later. It was also highlighted that, of the years the two had been together, most of it was spent apart as they’d separated quite often. There was also a list of prestigious men and women they each dated, respectively. Paige exclaimed in shock as she realized that the article had been written eight months ago.
Why would Elizabeth walk out a mere week before her wedding? Paige thought as she skipped to another article. Her jaw slackened as she saw various pictures of herself and Sebastian; the author guessing when they’d marry, how many kids they’d have and likely baby names. She slammed the laptop closed in disgust as she got to a list of every item of clothing she’d worn since meeting Sebastian along with their price tags and designer labels.
The buzzing of her cell phone dragged her mind to the present and she answered it on the first ring; anxiety swelling inside her breast. She hoped Joshua didn’t hear the disappointment in her voice when she discovered that it wasn’t Sebastian. She marveled at how insightful he was as he told her that he’d noticed, of late, that she was sad and he hoped it wasn’t because of him.
She immediately deflated that argument; assuring him that she loved him very much and she was just a bit distracted at the moment. He loved her too and he would give her a big hug when she came to visit, he declared enthusiastically. Warmed; she scrambled out of bed to showered, comb her hair and dress to go visit him.
She was mid-way down the stairs when she heard the insistent ringing of the doorbell. Must be Meredith, Paige thought, delivering some mouthwatering tidbit as she’d been doing for the past two days, which she’d barely eaten. But she simply didn't have the heart to turn her away.
She hauled the door open and had to will her features to remain blank, shocked at the sight that met her.
CHAPTER THIRTY TWO
“Good afternoon to you too Paige”, Elizabeth murmured; breezing past Paige and waltzing into the living room before Paige could issue an invitation.
She was dressed in an elaborate designer woolen coat and shawl; her hair combed back neatly from her face to tumble down her back in an array of curls, her makeup flawless. Paige suddenly felt underdressed in her old winter coat and jeans and t-shirt; her hair caught in a ponytail and her cheeks scrubbed clean.
“Good afternoon Elizabeth”, Paige responded sarcastically, annoyance and curiosity warring inside her as she closed the door and followed the other woman inside, “you may come in”.
What the hell was she doing here? Paige thought, crossly. Wasn’t it enough that she’d ruined any real chance she and Sebastian had had of being together?
“So this is how the other half lives”, Elizabeth appraised her environs with apparent distaste.
Paige’s pride stung a
t her gist. The furnishing wasn’t exactly sparse or inelegant but they had received their fair share of wear and tear over the years.
“I’m certain you didn’t travel all this way to assess my house”, Paige said, her patience wearing thin.
If Elizabeth thought to intimidate her with her aristocratic presence, she’d better think again, Paige thought, squaring her shoulders.
“Impatient, are we?" Elizabeth murmured, her eyes shining with wry amusement.
“You have no idea.”
“My sources tell me that you and Brad have been getting quite chummy over the past month or two.”
“And how does that concern you”, Page fumed silently.
Elizabeth’s eyes flashed with anger but she masked it quickly.
“Brad and I have been together for a very longtime as I’m sure you must have heard…”-
“Actually, I haven’t”, Paige interrupted nonchalantly and was rewarded with a flare of color in Elizabeth’s cheeks.
Well it wasn’t really a lie, Paige placated her conscience. She wouldn’t have known that they’d been childhood sweethearts if she hadn’t seen the pictures at Helen’s and guessed. Besides, Elizabeth deserved whatever she got for coming into her home and trying to demean her, Paige justified resentfully.
“Just so you know, your fling with Brad is over”, Elizabeth sneered, her graceful air of a moment ago forgotten, “I’m back now, so he’ll have no need for you”.
Paige’s heart constricted painfully at Elizabeth’s crude remark but she would be damned if she would allow the other woman to see how much her words had hurt her.
“Then why are you here, if you’re so sure”, Paige taunted.
She knew she was treading on dangerous territory but she didn’t care. She’d already lost the man she loved.
Elizabeth’s lips thinned in anger, “stay away from Brad, if you know what’s good for you”.
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