He smiled broadly at me as he walked toward me. “Hey, you,” he said softly.
“Hey.” I rubbed my eyes sleepily. He reached out and tousled my hair. His actions were tender and loving.
He stood awkwardly. He was unsure. It was interesting to see him off-balance. He wasn’t sure if he should pull me into his arms or if he should leave me alone.
So I took the guesswork out of the equation.
I walked into his arms, wrapping myself around him.
It took him a few seconds of stunned silence before he enveloped me. His lips were in my hair, and then they were on my face, and then they were on my own lips before I even knew what hit me.
I kissed him back, passion overtaking both of us as I finally gave into the very thing I’d been fighting—except when we found ourselves in a bed together.
His kiss was full of hope. This one was different from the heated animalistic ones that led to sex.
This one was filled with reverence and love and optimism and beauty. His mouth opened slowly to mine. His tongue moved sensually against mine, holding a promise of truth and emotions.
I pulled back to look at him.
His dark eyes met mine. Some lust had crept into his, but the unfiltered hope I saw there was enough to prove to me that he had true intentions. I’d been hard on him for long enough.
It was time to forgive and move forward.
“I think it’s time for us to talk,” I said.
thirty-nine
“Who’s Kimmy?” I asked.
I glanced over at the clock. It was a little before six in the morning. Too early for this conversation, surely, and we had twelve more hours together on the bus before we arrived in North Carolina, but the question had been playing on my mind since the night of his drunken confessional.
His eyes were full of surprise at my question. “What did you say?”
“I asked you who Kimmy is.”
“My sister.” I breathed a sigh of relief that it was a relative and not a love interest. Surely he’d had girlfriends before me, but I wasn’t really ready to hear about them quite yet. “Why are you asking me about Kimmy?”
“You mentioned her the other night. You actually mentioned quite a few things when you stumbled in drunk that night in New York.”
He gave me a look of alarm, and then he chuckled. “So this is how you want to start this big conversation we need to have?”
I shrugged. He laughed.
“Same old Jimi.” He pulled my hand toward his mouth and brushed his lips over my knuckles. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“I know.”
He chuckled. “Who’s Damien?” he asked, countering my own question.
I froze. I supposed if I was asking questions about people in his life, he had every right to ask questions, too. I just wasn’t prepared to dredge all of that back up.
“An ex.” I kept it simple. “Why do you ask?”
“Your dad had mentioned something about Damien to George in one of our meetings. He didn’t elaborate and I just wondered who he was.”
“He left without an explanation in the middle of the night. Apparently my dad knows more.” Parker shot me a look of sympathy, but I didn’t want it. “I’m over it, Parker. I’ve moved on.”
“With me.”
I nodded.
“My dad knows the specifics of why he left, but he won’t tell me. If you want to know more, you should talk to him since you two are so close.” The last part came out more bitter than I’d meant it to.
Parker sighed and then completely changed the direction of our conversation.
“That first night we were together, do you remember that?”
I nodded. “I don’t think I will ever forget that night. You were so…” I trailed off, searching for the exact right word. “Dominant.”
“When I shoved my dick down your throat, you were scared. Did you like that?”
I froze, unsure how to answer that. “Uh… that’s two questions.” I stared at the floor, my cheeks burning.
He chuckled.
“Honestly?” I asked, my eyes finally lifting to meet his.
“I always expect you to be honest, Roxanna.”
“You never call me Roxanna.”
“I can’t believe it’s actually, really your name. You’ll always be Jimi to me.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about you yelling out ‘Jimi’ when you’re dick is inside of me.”
He chuckled, and then his voice turned serious again. “Answer my question.”
“Yes.” My voice was barely a whisper as I glanced over his shoulder. Part of me was worried that Hank would overhear our conversation even though I knew he couldn’t, but the other part of me was trying pretty much anything to avoid eye contact at my reprehensible admission.
“Yes?” he asked, his voice much louder.
I looked down at my lap, nodding once.
“I was writing a song about fears right around that time. It was the fear I saw in your eyes when you looked around like someone was watching you. Half the time it was me watching you, but you couldn’t have known that. I was just doing my job. That was before we met. But that night, I was in the moment, we both were, and I couldn’t stop myself. When I saw that fear in your eyes, it turned me on. But when I was able to save you from that fear, to strip away that fear… It was a thrill.”
“So you’ve got some hero complex?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. I like saving people. I like protecting people.”
“Hence the tattoos.”
He nodded.
“Who else have you protected?”
“We’re not talking about me right now.”
I pouted, and his lips lifted up in a tiny smile.
“So you like causing fear and then eliminating it?”
“Not causing it. That first night we were together, I wasn’t trying to scare you. Part of it was the pleasure of that mouth of yours, but the other part was testing your limits. I’ve never deliberately done something to cause you fear. But I do seem to enjoy saving your ass.”
“Because you were hired to.”
His fingertips came under my chin. He forced me to look at him. “That might be how it started. But that’s not at all where I am now.”
“But let’s call it what it is. You get off on saving me. It doesn’t matter who causes the fear.”
“I wouldn’t say I get off on it. I don’t want you to be scared. But if you are, I want you to know that I’m here. And what we do in the bedroom should never be scary. As soon as I told you to relax that night, you did. You enjoyed it.”
“That night in the break room when Vinnie snuck up on me, you saw the fear in me then.”
He nodded. “I did. Vinnie’s harmless, but you didn’t know that. You were terrified. You looked like you wanted to claw his eyes out. And when I held you, when you trembled in my arms…” He closed his eyes for a moment at the memory. A shudder of desire passed through me as I watched the look on his face.
He stood up and pulled me up with him, right into his arms. I rested my cheek against his chest, and we stood in the exact pose we had on the night he was referencing. His heart was racing against my cheek. “God, you were terrified of Vinnie. And you were so fucking grateful that I walked in when I did.” He kissed the top of my head.
“Did…” I paused, not sure if I could really form the question. “Did you put Vinnie up to that?”
Guilt flashed through his eyes for just a second, but he played it off well. We both sat back down.
“Be honest, Parker.”
“I didn’t put him up to it. He doesn’t know about my deal with your dad. No one does. We’ve both been really careful about that. Vinnie really is just that big of an asshole. But I did use it to my advantage. I caught you in a vulnerable spot and used it to gain your trust.”
“More lies.”
He looked sharply at me, and then he sighed. “I never lied.”
“You told me you weren’t goi
ng to tell me that again.”
“Then stop questioning its validity. You trusted me because I saved you from Vinnie. You trusted me when I saved you from my own dick down your throat.” He grinned wickedly.
I smiled back. When he looked at me with that glint in his eye, and when I thought back to that first night between us, I couldn’t help but smile.
“And you trusted me that night we ran into Randy.”
“Wait a minute. You knew he was going to be there?”
He shook his head. “No. I took you to that place because it really does have the best cheeseburgers in LA. I had heard a few details about Randy, but not much. Your dad had shown me his picture, said he lived in Culver City, and told me that he was a threat. I thought if Randy happened to see us together, he’d believe that we were a couple and he would never question why I was always around you. He’d never link me to your dad if he saw me with you first. I still don’t fully understand what he’s capable of.”
I nodded. It was like a giant puzzle finally coming together.
“Do you want to tell me why you were so scared of him that night? Did you know about the shit between Gideon and him?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t find out about any of it until my dad invited me to come on the tour. He told me about my ex’s connection to Randy.”
“Your ex Damien?”
I nodded. “And no, I don’t want to tell you why I was scared of Randy.”
“Tell me anyway,” he demanded.
“He hit on me one night when I was a teenager.”
“What did he do to you?”
“Nothing. He was just a slimy, drunk old man. He freaked me out a little, but I got away.”
“Fuck,” he muttered.
“I have a question for you now.”
He nodded, looking at me expectantly.
“Where were you really during those weeks when you said you were writing?”
“I was writing.”
“But you stayed away from me.”
“I was writing. But I was also doing everything in my power to find a way to protect you while staying the fuck away from you. I was falling for you, and I was terrified you’d reject me, or you’d find out your dad hired me to protect you and you’d want nothing to do with me. And I was right.”
“You were. But I think I’m starting to get it.”
He looked at me with that same sense of boyish hope.
“You think so?”
I nodded, and he smiled. He stood, and we walked together to the queen-size bed in the back of the bus.
And then there was no more talking.
forty
Washington DC was a little more than halfway between Boston and Raleigh, and that’s where we stopped for lunch. My dad and Mikey had scheduled an appearance at some bar just outside of DC, so the rest of us scattered around the outskirts of town to find some place to eat. Parker and I ended up with George over our shoulder at some barbecue restaurant while Hank refueled, and then we were back on the road. The only thing the stop did was force us to get out of bed, but as soon as we got back on the bus, we headed right back to our compartment in the back. Parker slammed the door shut and pounced.
Once we’d gotten our shit out in the open and cleared the air, I felt about a thousand times better. I was where I needed to be, which was safe in Parker’s warm, protective, and loving arms.
Our bus pulled into Raleigh and we were forced to emerge from our bus bed haven. We checked into yet another Four Seasons Hotel. I didn’t even bother with my own room this time since I knew I’d be sharing with Parker anyway. I was beyond disappointed I had to tear myself from Parker, but he had stuff to do. Namely, he had a band meeting to review their Boston performance, and since he’d been on the bus with me instead of the rest of the band for over twelve hours, they had quite a bit of work to do.
My dad was conferring with George, which left me alone—or so I thought until I opened my hotel room door and saw Bruno sitting outside of it.
“Where would you like to go, ma’am?” Bruno asked. I hadn’t had the chance to see him up close when he’d been following me around in LA. He was older than George. He had some salty white in his dark hair. He was serious, but his dark eyes were kind. They were eyes that I immediately trusted.
I shrugged. “Nowhere in particular. Just wanted to get out and stretch my legs a little. Maybe to my dad’s room?”
I hadn’t actually planned on going anywhere, but there was a conversation I unexpectedly wanted to have. I’d been so obsessed with everything Parker that I hadn’t had time to focus on my relationship with my dad’s new wife. The sudden need to take control over this part of my life propelled me down the hall.
Bruno knocked on my dad’s door, just a few rooms away from my own.
Jadyn opened the door, camera-ready as usual. I didn’t know anyone who wore as much make-up as she did in real day-to-day life. It was as if she could be photographed at any time, and she always had to be ready. I supposed it was likely that she would be photographed considering she was the new wife of an internationally acclaimed musician, but it still made me wonder what she was hiding.
I hadn’t trusted her from the very beginning, but I didn’t really know her all that well. My dad must have had some reason for marrying her. He loved her. He planned to have her in his life for a long time to come, so I supposed I should give her a chance.
“Is my dad here?” I asked through her glare. She hadn’t invited me in, but I stepped in. Bruno stepped in behind me, and I heard the door latch shut.
She walked over to a wet bar and topped off her wine glass. “He’s with George. And we have dinner plans after his meeting.”
Bruno took a seat at a conference table. Having him there for this conversation should’ve been awkward, but instead it was comforting. It was like someone was on my side. It propelled my confidence forward.
I sighed. “Can I talk to you about something?”
She set the bottle down and picked up the glass. She shrugged in my direction with indifference, and then she walked over to a loveseat situated across the room. I paused and took in the room for a minute. It was about four times the size of the room I shared with Parker, and I thought our room was the lap of luxury.
Even though I’d grown up around extravagance, I still appreciated it when I saw it.
Apparently the new Mrs. Price had already grown accustomed to it. She curled her legs underneath her, hooker heels and all, right on the loveseat.
As she sat there, I realized she hadn’t offered me a drink. It wasn’t really a big deal, except it was. It was manners. It was trying to get along—or at least trying to make a decent impression—with the daughter of your husband.
Apparently she didn’t give a fuck about that.
I sat on a chair across from her.
“Why don’t you like me?”
She glanced in my direction with surprise at my candor, and then her eyes diverted to the window.
“I never said I don’t like you,” she said flippantly.
“You didn’t have to. You act like I’m a nuisance.”
“I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Her lack of a real apology echoed in my head. She wasn’t sorry that she had treated me poorly. Instead, she was sorry that I felt like she had treated me poorly. It was a fine line but a huge difference.
“I’m sorry you act that way.”
“That’s a little dramatic.”
“Look, my dad and I are close. I get that you want time with him, but I need you not to look at me like you’re jealous every time he talks to me. I don’t mean to sound condescending, but I’m his daughter. I will always be his daughter. You’re his third wife in ten years. You do the math.”
Jadyn looked over at me, and I could have sworn I saw a flash of admiration before it was wiped away and replaced with daggers. I saw Bruno shift in his chair out of the corner of my eye, but I kept my eyes leveled on my stepmother. Mother. Monst
er. Whatever.
She was just about to respond with something that would most likely cut me down to size when there was a knock at the door. I looked toward the door; Jadyn looked toward Bruno.
He stood to answer it, checking the peephole first. He let the visitors in, and I stood when I saw Vanessa and Keith.
Keith looked a little worse for the wear, and Vanessa had lines of anxiety around her dark eyes and fanning out from her red lips. I hadn’t seen either of them since the attack.
I ran over to Vanessa and pulled her into a hug, which was completely out of my character yet instinctual.
She burst into tears, and I rubbed her back as Keith hobbled past us to the chair I’d just vacated. “How’re you doing, Keith?” I asked as he passed by.
“Alright. Been better, but I’m getting there. It’s always the worst a few days after, you know?”
“And how are you?” I asked Vanessa softly, pulling out of our hug to look at her.
Jadyn hadn’t moved.
“I’m okay. I’m scared, Roxy.”
“I know. I am, too. But we have George and Bruno, and don’t forget about Hank and the other drivers. You know our crew’s great.”
She nodded, and a fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks. “I know. We never should’ve left.”
“Where did you go?”
“Just out to dinner. But we broke away from the pack. We didn’t bring anybody with us. He was jumped from behind.” She wiped her eyes and headed over toward her husband. She knelt beside him, patting his knees.
“Did you see who did it?” I asked.
They both nodded. “He was short. He was wearing a dark cap and dark clothes,” Vanessa said. “I’ve never seen him before, but I’d recognize him if I ever saw him again.”
“What was the point?”
Vanessa shrugged, but this time Keith spoke. “We don’t know. He took off with my wallet. The police said it’s a mugging. Said it’s not common for that part of town, but violence doesn’t discriminate.”
Vintage Volume One Page 23