by Jason Tesar
Abruptly, the vision vanished and Kael was once again aware of his body. Only this time, he was lying down in the sand. His eyes wouldn’t open and he could still feel the presence of the stranger in his mind. His body began to simultaneously itch and convulse as if someone else were trying to get inside of it. Kael drew in a deep breath and tried to block out all other thoughts except for his own heartbeat. He could feel the extremities of his body and began to flex his muscles. First his fingers, then his toes and slowly the rest of his body came under his control. Eventually his vision returned and he opened his eyes. Briefly, he caught sight of an orange glow like a dying fire and then the attack returned.
This time, it was in his mind. Hundreds of images flashed in front of him, some were from his childhood and it seemed that some were from his future. He watched himself crawl on the floor as a baby and then the vision changed to himself as an old man crippled on the floor. Images of dying people and feelings of suffering shot through him like lightening. The most intense feeling of hatred that he had ever felt washed over him like an ocean of sewage. He felt hopeless and alone and all of a hundred other negative emotions at the same time. He reached out for help and suddenly the images stopped and the stranger stood over him with an extended hand. Kael felt exhausted and dirtier than the lowest human being on the face of the earth. But something inside him, something that was truly his own, would not let him take that hand. Instead, he kicked at the man and spit on him. Just as quickly as the defiant thoughts came to him, the flood returned. He saw his mother being hacked to pieces by a barbarian. When he turned his head he saw his father being stretched by horses until his limbs pulled away from his body. As the images flashed in front of him, he grew cold and numb. It was like being in the presence of a massacre and not being able to blink or even close his eyes. Kael knew that his eyes were deceived, but he still cried at the horrible things that he saw. Hours seemed to pass before the images in his head stopped.
The first pleasant feeling was the cold sand beneath him. His body had sweat so badly that his clothes stuck to his skin as if he had been swimming in the ocean. The cavern ceiling was far overhead and the moonlight that had been streaming down before was gone now. The only light was from the fire, which was now only a small pile of glowing embers. He turned his head and saw several figures lying on the ground but could not make out who they were. Whoever was to his left was still standing and he thought it might be Narian. Suddenly, the figure began to wobble and lean back. Footsteps crunched by Kael’s head as one of the monks ran to catch whoever it was who had just lost consciousness and lay them safely on the ground. When the monk walked back to wherever he had been standing, Kael could see who it was that was next to him. Donagh’s calm face leaned slightly to the right where Kael could get a good look. He didn’t seem to be in any pain, but just laid there in the calm posture of someone in a pleasant dream. The exhaustion of the events caught up with Kael and he found his eyes drooping. He tried to resist sleep, for fear of experiencing any more of what had happened, but sleep overtook him.
Chapter 21
Bright morning light was shining in Kael’s face when he awoke. The soft rocking motion of his bed told him that he was back on the ocean. He opened his eyes and sat up. The other young men were all in their beds sleeping soundly. Kael wondered, but doubted that the others experienced the same thing that he did. The sound of footsteps startled him and he lay back on his bed, pretending to be asleep. For some reason, he felt guilty, like he shouldn’t be awake. He could hear Ukiru walking around the room, stopping at each sleeping body. Kael’s heart was beating loudly as he waited for Ukiru to pass by. Unexpectedly, he felt a warm spoon against his mouth and the aroma of soup filled his nostrils. He allowed the nourishment to be poured down his throat. Ukiru lingered over Kael a bit longer than the rest before moving on and eventually going above deck.
When he was gone, Kael sat up to see if any of the others had been awakened by the feeding, but he was still the only one. His head ached and his muscles hurt like he had been training for combat all day. He rose to his feet and stretched his weakened body, surprised by the toll that the ceremony had taken on him. After more than an hour of pacing around the room in silence, Kael returned to his bed and tried to sleep again, but couldn’t get comfortable. It was like torture, waiting below deck for someone else to wake up, but there was nothing he could do. So Kael passed the time by imagining what had happened in Bastul while he had been away and he was alone with his thoughts until dusk.
The sun had dipped toward the western horizon, off the port bow of the ship, when Kael’s thoughts finally resolved into a decision. All day he had been struggling with how to continue at the monastery. He wasn’t sure of when they would finally be sent out into the world, but he knew that he had to leave soon. If the being that attacked his mind and body was really the All Powerful, then Kael didn’t want any part of him. He still felt like he needed to bathe after the whole experience, though he knew it wouldn’t do much to clean the polluted feeling inside of him.
“So, you’re awake too?”
Kael spun his head around and saw Berit sitting up on his bed. “Yeah, I just woke up,” he lied.
“My head hurts,” Berit grumbled, and turned to look out the porthole situated above his head.
“Mine too,” Kael lied again. His headache was actually gone, lessening and eventually disappearing over the course of the many hours he had been awake.
One by one, the others began to wake up. The only one who seemed to be in the mood for conversation was Coen who immediately began talking about his amazing experience. As the sluggish mood wore off, everyone began to chime in about this or that incredible feeling or experience. After several minutes, Kael realized that he was alone in his experience. Everyone else had done exactly what they were supposed to do except for him. Suddenly the conversation stopped and Kael realized that someone had asked him a question.
“What?”
“I said,” Arden repeated, “how long before you passed out?”
Kael tried to look mystified to share in their excitement. “I lost all sense of time, so it’s hard to say.”
“I know,” Jorn blurted out. “That’s exactly what happened to me!”
“So you are all awake now,” announced Ukiru who was standing on the stairs, watching his group of students. “Why don’t you continue your conversation up here and get some fresh air.”
Coen was the first one up the stairs and Kael waited to be the last. The group assembled at the bow of the ship and Kael leaned over the railing to watch the water as it split around the ship in smooth strips of white foam. The chattering continued around him and he was content to just look at the ocean until Ukiru tried to draw him in.
“Kael. What was it like for you?”
Is that skepticism in his voice? Kael wondered if he knew what happened and then dismissed the thought because there was no way that he could. “Uh…” he stammered, searching. “I just don’t have the words.”
Ukiru nodded, apparently satisfied. “That’s a good way to describe it.”
* * * *
Saba sat on the floor against the door, with his ear pressed to the wood, straining to hear anything that might be happening outside. He heard a footstep near the door and pushed himself back, frightened that someone was coming. He waited for a moment, then leaned in again. As soon as his hands touched the door, he felt a strange sensation pass through his body. It lasted only for a second, but in that moment Saba could swear that he felt the inner workings of the lock on the door. Reeling back in surprise, Saba listened carefully for movement outside while his mind raced with questions.
Slowly, he leaned forward against the door. But nothing happened. Did I imagine it? He placed his hand near the lock and waited, attempting to recapture the feeling. When he closed his eyes, it came again.
The sensation was dulled somehow, muffled at first, but with concentration, Saba regained the clarity of the first occurrence. And then
it was obvious, like looking at a picture, only more interactive. Saba could feel the bolt running through the iron lock on the door into the housing on the door jam. And just as one might wiggle their finger, Saba knew without even testing his knowledge that he could move the bolt without having to touch it. But his excitement at the discovery was too great to allow him to be satisfied with that knowledge; he had to test it. And just as he expected, the bolt slid back at his will. It screeched slightly, grating on the inside of the door jam, and Saba paused to make sure that no one heard. When nothing happened, he tried again and the bolt slid free of the door jam. How is this possible? And who am I that I can do such things?
He pushed gently on the door and it moved open, allowing him an inch of visibility to the courtyard and the wall beyond it. There were no guards to see along his narrow path of sight, but that didn’t mean they weren’t out there. There was a change of guard every night at midnight, or so it seemed to his limited senses. And that had occurred more than an hour ago. Pushing harder on the door, he opened it far enough to peek his head out. Just as he suspected, to his left a guard sat outside on a crude chair, slumped back against the building. Saba smiled to himself. It’s nearly impossible for a guard to follow the same routine for years without losing vigilance. This man had probably become bored with his task long ago, and tonight was just another night to get some sleep while the old man inside the jail couldn’t possibly escape anyway. But this old man has a few tricks.
Saba pushed the door open a bit wider and walked quietly out of the cell, slipping into the night.
* * * *
The hours dragged on into days as their ship cut a northeasterly path through the ocean. When they sighted land, Coen spoke up.
“Are we traveling faster than before?”
“No,” Ukiru answered. “It is only that you were asleep for several days at the beginning of this return trip, so it seems shorter.”
They kept the land on the starboard side of the boat and continued traveling north until there was only ocean again as far as the eye could see. Kael didn’t feel much like talking and kept to himself most of the time. Ukiru allowed them to skip the usual morning routine of meditation and instruction, explaining that they would need some time to think about what the All Powerful had shown each one of them. They would resume their studies after they returned to the monastery.
Kael had been doing nothing but thinking for days now and he would have liked to do something else to take his mind off of it. All of the old feelings of mistrust were coming back to him, only stronger this time. His meeting with the All Powerful was not what he had expected it to be. They were always taught that he was a loving and merciful god who was heartbroken when the world turned away from him. But the intense hatred and wretchedness that Kael felt from being in his presence made him think that they had all been lied to. Anyway, he was tired of thinking and just wanted to sleep. When the sun went down, Kael went below deck and lay on his bed. It was quiet with everyone else above deck, talking about the whole experience. Kael shut his eyes and let the gentle rock of the ocean soothe him to sleep.
Sometime during the night, he began hearing voices. When he lifted his head, he realized that most of the others were gone. Berit and Horace were still sleeping. The thump of footsteps moved up above, heading for the stairs. Shortly after, Coen peeked his head down.
“You guys better wake up.”
“What’s going on?” Kael asked.
“We’ve reached the island and some of the monks are loading our stuff into the wagons. Ukiru said we could take a few of the horses and ride back to the monastery. If we’re quick, we could be back in our own beds before the sun comes up.”
“Where are the others?” Berit asked.
“Soren and Narian are waiting for us; the rest already left.”
The remainder of the night was a blur for Kael. He felt half-asleep most of the time. Immediately after leaving the small desolate harbor of their island, the horses began to climb. It was slow going at first, but after climbing for the first few hundred feet, the path leveled out and the horses began to pick up speed. The sky was still dark when they got back and Kael went straight to his room and collapsed on his bed.
The next day was unusual compared to their normal routine. They didn’t have to get up at a certain time, nor were they required to do any of the activities to which they had become accustomed. Kael woke up just before noon and wandered down to the kitchen where one of the monks was starting to prepare the evening meal. He gave Kael something to eat and shooed him out of the kitchen. For a few hours, Kael wandered around the monastery, letting the silence clear his head. He didn’t know where the others were, but he also didn’t care. He eventually found Berit in the library where he usually spent his free time, but neither one of them was in the mood for conversation, so Kael moved on. Finally, Kael arrived at the top of the cliffs overlooking the ocean and took a seat on his favorite rock.
The past eight years of his life had been quite strange, he realized. How many children grow up in a bustling port city like Bastul, living the life of a privileged few, only to have that life ripped away in an uncontrollable string of events that leaves you to grow up in a monastery?
He stood up suddenly, trying to shake off the questions. He wanted to do something instead of thinking, so he walked around looking for rocks to throw over the edge and finally found an area where a boulder was falling apart under the relentless forces of nature, slowly eroding into a pile of rubble. Kael picked up a handful of stones and tossed them, one by one, over the edge. He watched the smaller ones zigzag through the air as the wind moved them. The larger ones fell without any perceptible movement other than straight down. The surface of the ocean was too far down for Kael to see them hit, but it was something to keep his mind occupied.
The hours of daylight diminished and the sun began to slip behind the mountains. Kael made it back to the monastery just in time for the evening meal. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits and even Kael was happier after a good meal.
“Before we retire for the night, I just want to say a few things.” Ukiru stood up to address the group. “I am proud of you all. We made a difficult and long journey, but it was for a great purpose. The All Powerful has met each of you in a different way and has seen your future. In a short time, I am expecting to hear a message from the High Priest. The message will contain a commission for each one of you. For the next two years, you will continue to train in a more specific manner related directly to your commissioning. Until we receive this message, our days here will look much different. There is cleaning and reorganizing to do and I’m sure it would be a welcome break from all of the recent traveling. So, get your rest tonight. Tomorrow things will begin to change around here in preparation for the coming months. I assure you that the next two years will go quickly and before you know it, you will be back in the world of men once more.”
Everyone clapped their hands together and cheered at Ukiru’s words; everyone except Kael. The feelings of contentment and gratefulness which used to reside in his heart had vanished, replaced by a sense of uneasiness and doubt. As the others went off to their rooms in high spirits, Kael had to pretend in order to not draw attention to himself. Ukiru had been acting strange toward him ever since their time at the temple and Kael was doing his best to appear as normal as everyone else. When he lay down to go to sleep, his mind was racing. He tossed and turned in his bed for hours until he couldn’t take it anymore.