by J. L. Perry
Opening the passenger side door, I plant a soft kiss on Hanna’s hair before she climbs inside. She’s the only person I’ve ever been able to see myself having a future with, but we need to tell her family before I can even think of that. It’s not like I can whisk her off in the middle of the night or day and marry her in secret, although the thought has crossed my mind. It’s ludicrous. This whole situation is making me damn crazy.
“I’m not ready to go home yet,” Hanna says, reaching across the centre console and placing her hand on my leg.
“Truthfully,” I reply with a sigh as I glance over at her, “I’m not ready to give you back.”
A sad smile tugs at her lips. “Is this the way it’s going to be for us, Harry? Hiding away from everyone.”
I exhale a large breath as my eyes move back to the road. I hate that this situation is upsetting her. I’m not fond of it either, but in my heart I know Ethan will come between us when he finds out. He’s gonna blow a fucking gasket.
“Talk to me,” she pleads, squeezing my leg. “Is it Ethan? Or is it that you’re just not as into me, as I am to you? I’m a big girl, Harrison. If this is just a bit of fun for you, tell me. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”
I navigate the car to the side of the road, putting it into park. I don’t want her to thinks she’s just a good time for me. She’s so much more than that. “Is that what you really think?” I ask, wrapping her hand in mine. I’m hurt she would even entertain the idea.
“When we’re together everything seems so perfect. But the longer this goes on, the more sceptical I become. I really like you, Harry. I think you know that.” Her gaze moves down to her lap before she continues. “But I hate hiding away from everyone. I hate deceiving my family. I hate that I only get to see you at work. I need more. I need you. All of you.”
“Come here.” I reach out and pull her into my arms when I see tears glistening her eyes. I feel like a bastard. This is all my fault. “I’m sorry I’ve put you in this position. I hate hiding away from everyone, too. Things are just so perfect the way they are now. We’re perfect . . .” I let my words trail off. “Everything is going to change once this is out in the open, and that scares me. I don’t want to lose you, Han.”
Drawing back, she cups my face in her hands. “You’ll never lose me. I’m in this for the long haul if you’ll have me. Ethan will just have to accept this, whether he likes it or not. But I really think you’re overreacting here. He adores you. Yes, he’ll probably be shocked, but I honestly think he’ll be okay.”
“Really?” I wish I felt as confident as she did.
“Really.”
“Do you wanna come back to my apartment for a while?”
“What about Ethan.”
“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
I may be putting it off again, but I mean it this time. Tomorrow, I’ll tell him. But tonight, I just want to enjoy her. Who knows where we’ll stand once the news is out.
Rolling over, I pull her soft body into mine. I wish I didn’t have to let her go. My eyes drift to the clock on the bedside table, it’s almost nine. “You probably should get going, it’s getting late.”
“I wish I didn’t have to.”
“Makes two of us,” I say, as I rest my forehead against hers. “Tomorrow, once this is all out in the open, you can stay over whenever you like.”
“I’d like that,” she replies, brushing her lips against mine. “You may get sick of me, because I’m gonna be here an awful lot.”
“Never,” I chuckle. “I’m surprised Ethan hasn’t been blowing up your phone, wondering where you are.”
“I turned it off when we left the restaurant,” she admits, with a small laugh. Although it was a wise move, it does nothing to ease that nagging guilt that has been swimming around in my gut for days.
I push that thought out of my head as I give her a scorching kiss. A little something to get me through until tomorrow. “Get dressed, and I’ll drive you back to the office to collect your car.”
“Do you mind if I have a quick shower. I’ll probably get the third degree from my big brother when I get home, for not telling him I was going to be late,” she rolls her eyes as she speaks, “so I don’t want to be smelling like sex.”
I chuckle as I place a soft kiss on her nose. “Probably a wise move.”
I watch as she climbs out of bed and gathers up her clothes before heading into my ensuite. Fuck, her arse is fine. As much as I’d like to join her, I need to get her home. Ethan will be worried, especially since she hasn’t told him where she is. Even though she’s a grown woman, he’s very over protective. He always has been.
My stomach churns as I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. I can only pray that my gut instincts are wrong, and Ethan isn’t going to take this as badly as I’m anticipating.
Once the shower is running, I climb out of bed and throw on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. I resist the urge to join her. I can shower when I get back.
Grabbing my phone out of my suit jacket, I see it’s flat, so I head into the kitchen to put it on charge. Maybe Ethan has been trying to call me as well. That’s a blessing in disguise right there. I’ve been lying to him every time he’s called me over the past few weeks. Telling him I’m busy with work or some bullshit, and that’s why I haven’t been over. It’s the longest time I’ve ever gone without seeing him. Even though this is all my doing, I miss the boofhead.
After plugging in my phone, I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. As I unscrew the lid and bring it to my mouth, there’s a knock on my door. “Harrison, it’s me Ethan. Are you in there?”
Fuck!
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I mumble under my breath as I walk towards the door. Hanna is still in the shower so maybe I can get rid of him before she gets out. Who am I kidding, I don’t have a choice. I have to get rid of him. He can’t find out like this.
I swipe my keys off the hall table as I pass. I pause and take a deep breath before I open the door. “Hey,” I say, manoeuvring my body into the doorway, blocking him from entering.
“Why don’t you turn on your phone fucker? I’ve been trying to call you for the past few hours.”
“It went flat. I only just realised. It’s charging now.”
He exhales a large breath. He looks stressed. “Have you seen Hanna?” Christ.
I pause briefly before I answer. “Nope. Why?” I’m going straight to hell. I can’t believe I’m lying straight to his face. What can I say? ‘Yeah, she’s spent the last few hours in my bed and now she’s in the shower washing off the remnants of our sex romp?’ I don’t have a fucking death wish.
“She’s not home yet. I’m worried about her. She’s not answering her phone either.”
I swallow hard. Maybe I should just come right out and say it.
Nope, I’m a coward.
“Maybe she went out with her friends after work?”
“She usually calls if she’s going to be home late.”
“I’m sure she’s okay.” I place my hand on his shoulder. “Relax, she’s not a kid.”
“Will you help me look for her?”
“Sorry, I can’t. I was just on my way out.” I hold up the keys in my hand. “I’m sure she’ll be home soon.” I step forward as I speak, like I’m about to leave.
“Where are you going?” he asks as he looks me up and down.
“Just out.”
“You’re going out with no shoes on?”
Christ. I didn’t think this through properly. “My . . . ummm . . . joggers are in the car.”
His brow furrows as he gives me a sceptical look. “You’ve been acting weird lately. What the fuck’s going on? Are you really going out, or are you giving me the brush off?”
“No. Of course not. I’m just busy.” God, I hate this. “I’ve really got to go. Call me when she gets home, and let me know she’s safe. Okay?”
Just when I think I’m in the clear, I hear Hanna’s voice behind me. “Your shower’
s huge.” Fuck. “You could fit like ten people in there.”
When Ethan’s eyes narrow and he pushes me aside, I know he’s heard her too. This is not how I wanted him to find out.
“What the fuck, Hanna?” he screams, when he enters my apartment.
I swing around just in time to see her face drop and turn a ghostly shade of white. “Ethan.”
He stands there unmoving for a few seconds before he spins around to face me. He doesn’t say a word, there’s no need. The murderous glare in his eyes says it all.
Fuck!
The moment Ethan lunges towards Harrison, I drop the heels that I’m holding in my hand and reach for him. “You motherfucker,” he seethes, grabbing him by the shirt and slamming his back into the wall. “I trusted you.”
Poor Harrison just stands there. He doesn’t even put up a fight. It’s like he thinks he deserves whatever my brother is about to dish out. He doesn’t. He’s done nothing wrong. What Harry and I do in private is none of his business. He’s not my father. My parent’s love Harrison and I know they’d have no problem with us being together. Neither should Ethan.
“I’m sorry,” Harrison says in a deflated tone. The devastation I see on his face breaks my heart. He’s a good guy, he doesn’t deserve this. I finally understand why he’s been so hesitant to tell my brother about us. These two have been mates for as long as I can remember. They’re like brothers their bond is so strong. I hope this doesn’t ruin their friendship. That’s the last thing I want to happen.
“Ethan,” I scream, grabbing hold of his arms and trying my best to pry him off Harrison. It’s no use. As angry as I am, he’s too strong. “Let him go.”
“Stay out of this, Hanna,” he says, shoving me backwards. That’s when everything turns to shit.
“Don’t you shove her,” Harrison sneers, pushing on his chest.
“No!” I scream, when Ethan raises a clenched fist, punching Harrison in the mouth. This time I jump on my brothers back. I refuse to stand by and let him do this.
“Leave him alone,” I cry. My eyes briefly move to Harrison’s, and the hurt I see reflected in them as he wipes the blood from his cut lip, brings tears to my eyes. I adore my brother, but in this moment, I don’t like him. He’s acting like a total douche bag.
Ethan sighs as he lets go of Harrison’s shirt and takes a step backwards. “Get your things, Hanna, we’re leaving.” I can tell by the tone of his voice he’s hurting too, but he had no right to come here and do what he did.
“Where do you get off telling me what to do?” I snap.
“I won’t say it again. Get your shit, we’re going.”
I’m about to tell him where he can shove his demands, when Harrison cuts in. “Just go, Hanna.” The pleading look on his face hurts, but not as much as his words. What’s he trying to tell me? That we’re over now? I’ll bust his balls if he is. I thought I meant something to him. If he’s going to throw what we have away, just because of my butthead brother, I’ll be crushed.
“Can I have a moment alone with, Harrison?” I ask Ethan, narrowing my eyes as I speak. If he’s ruined this for me, I’ll never forgive him.
“I’ll give you one minute.” He gives me a look that says he means business. Who the fuck does he think he is? As he turns to leave, he points his finger in Harrison’s direction. “Stay the fuck away from my sister, you hear me?” God, I could punch him right now for the way he’s acting.
I wait until he’s stepped out into the corridor before I approach Harrison. My watery eyes lock with his as I try and search for any sign that tells me we’re okay. “I’m sorry he did this to you,” I say, reaching up and running my thumb tenderly across his lip. I see tears rise to his eyes as his gaze moves to the floor. “Please, don’t tell me this is the end of us.” I slide my hands around his waist, resting my head on his chest. “I need you.”
I’m relieved when he folds me in his arms. “I need you too, Han,” he whispers, tightening his hold on me. “I need you so much.”
“You had no fucking right,” I seethe as my brother and I walk through the foyer of Harrison’s apartment building. I’m so angry at him right now I could scream.
He abruptly stops walking and turns to face me. “Really? You’re angry?”
“Yes, really,” I say, pushing on his chest. “Who I choose to see is none of your business.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Like I said, none of your business.” I can count on one hand how many times we’ve come to blows in our lifetime. I love that my brother cares, and that he’s so protective, but this is where I draw the line. I’m not going to stand by and let him destroy what Harrison and I have.
“Answer me, Hanna,” he screams.
“Go fuck yourself,” I say, pushing him again. He’s way too big and strong compared to me, so he doesn’t even budge. But it still felt good doing it. “What I do, and who I do it with, is none of your damn business.” Tears stream from my eyes as I turn and run out of the building and into the night. Never in my life have I spoken to my brother so harshly, but in all fairness, he’s never stepped out of line like he did just now.
It’s a good twenty-minute walk from Harrison’s apartment to my brother’s house, and it’s late at night, but I don’t care. There’s no way I’m getting in the car with him right now. I’m so angry I’m shaking. It’s going to kill my feet to walk all that way in heels, but I’m doing it. I’d rather kill my feet than him, because that’s what I feel like doing right now.
After Harrison gave me a tender kiss goodbye, he said he’d call me later. God, I hope he does. I’m itching to call him myself. I need to know we’re okay.
“Get in the car,” Ethan says, pulling up beside me.
“Leave me alone.”
“Hanna.” I ignore him as I continue down the sidewalk. I can be stubborn when I want to be, and there’s no way I’m giving in. I start to walk faster, which is pointless. Ethan is in a car, so even if I ran he’ll still be able to keep up with me. “Please.”
“Suit yourself. I’m not getting in the car with you.”
“I’ll drive beside you the whole way if I have to.”
I shrug, because in this moment I don’t give a fuck.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I turn it on. My only thought right now is Harrison. I want to send him a message, apologising again. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared about what this is going to do to us. This is so much worse than I ever anticipated.
I’m startled when my phone rings. My pulse starts racing thinking it’s him, but when I look down at the screen, I see it’s only Michelle.
“Oh my God, Hanna. Where are you? Ethan is out looking for you now. I’ve been trying to frantically call you since he left, just in case you’re with Harrison. I know you said nothing was going on . . .” Her voice trails off. I hate that I had to keep this from her, but like Harrison had said, it’s not something that she should be hiding from her husband.
“He found me,” I say, my voice cracking.
“At Harrison’s?”
“Yes.”
“Shit. How did he take it?”
“Not good. He punched Harrison in the mouth and told him to stay away from me.”
“He what?” she screams. The loud noise has me pulling the phone away from my ear, but I can still hear her. People in China can probably hear her. “Where are you?”
“Walking along the main street with your dickhead husband driving beside me because I refuse to get in the car with him.”
“Oh, Han.”
“I hate him for what he’s done, Shell,” I cry.
“Sweetie . . . I’m walking to my car now. I’ll come get you.”
“Thank you.” I’m so grateful to have her. At least she can see how perfect Harrison and I are for each other.
I wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand once I’ve ended the call. I’d hate to be in my brother’s shoes right now. Michelle is going to serve him his ball
s, and rightly so.
“Get in the car, Hanna,” Ethan calls out from beside me again, so I flip him the bird and continue walking. Hell would have to freeze over before I got in that car.
Opening my messages again, I quickly type something to Harrison.
Me: I’m sorry. I hope this doesn’t change things between us. I love you . . . it’s crazy just how much. Please don’t let this be the end of us. I need you. x
This is only the second time I’ve said it to him, but I do love him. Boy, do I love him. I hope he knows just how much. I’d hate for my relationship with my brother to be strained because of this, but I’m not going to let him stand in the way of my happiness. I’ve never been happier than I am when I’m with Harrison. I’ve wanted him for so long. I never dreamed I’d actually get him. For years, I thought he didn’t see me that way, but now I know differently. He may not be in love with me yet, but he feels something. That I am sure of. I don’t need words. His touch . . . his kiss—it says so much. I also see it in his eyes when he looks at me. Nobody has ever looked at me the way he does. It makes my insides all mushy, and my heart feel so full.
Minutes pass before Michelle finally shows up. I stop walking when I see her do a U-turn before pulling up behind Ethan’s car. There’s still no reply from Harrison, which worries me.
She’s out of the car in a flash and wrapping me in her arms. “It’s okay, sweetie. Everything will be okay.”
“What are you doing here?” Ethan says, coming to stand beside us.
“I’ll deal with you in a minute,” Michelle replies. The tone of her voice kinda makes me feel sorry for him. As much as I love his wife, she can be a ball-buster at times. We all joke about it behind her back. But he brought this on himself. The way he acted towards Harrison was way out of line.