by DC Renee
They all stopped and stared at me.
“Hi, I’m Brooklyn, you can call me Brook,” I started, and they looked at me as if I was crazy. “Oh? So you all know me already? Good, because it seemed like you didn’t know I was standing here the entire time you were talking about me. Grennan”—I turned to him—“I appreciate you trying to shelter me, but I’ve brought my big girl panties, and I promise to wear them around these guys. You get the thongs.” I winked to break the tension.
“And Cody is right; you have been a group forever.” Grennan opened his mouth, but I put up my hand. “I know, I know, you and I are a team. But the guys and I aren’t. You doing this is telling them our bond is stronger than theirs. And you both”—I turned to Cody and Trevor—“if you want the bed, you’re going to have to change the sheets every time you use it; I like you all, but I don’t like you all that much. You want to have wild rabbit sex anywhere else, go for it, as long as I don’t have to touch anything your naked ass or your companion’s special parts have touched. And I’d prefer not to see it. But if I hear you, I’m giving you a heads-up that I’m going to make it my mission to top you.” I turned back at Grennan and winked again. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch; he was fighting a smile.
“Now, are we all good here?” I looked back at Gavin, and he was fully smiling this time, no subtle smirk. If he hadn’t liked me before, I was sure he did now.
“I’m stealing her,” Trevor told Grennan with a huge smile.
“Not if I do first,” Cody added. “Hey Brook, how you doin’?” he asked mimicking Joey from Friends. Okay, maybe he didn’t quite imitate him, but I got the point, and I laughed, and then suddenly, everyone was laughing.
“You’re a rock star, and that’s the best you got?” I asked between chuckles.
“I don’t usually have to try.” Cody shrugged.
“It’ll be worth it when you do,” Grennan told him as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Where did that come from, firecracker?” he asked in my ear.
“I really don’t know.” It had been the truth. I wasn’t the one to stand up to anyone like that usually. Cassidy usually did, but I guess she had rubbed off on me.
Needless to say, the guys never used the bedroom, but I had to prove that Grennan and I could be loud … very loud quite a few times. I mean I promised them I’d top their sexual noises; I had to keep my promise. You’d think I’d be embarrassed, right? But Grennan had a way of making me forget everything but him. When his hands touched my body and his lips caressed my skin, we were the only ones in the entire universe. I didn’t have room in my body, in my brain, to be embarrassed. It didn’t stop the guys from teasing me when they saw me.
“Brook, baby, I know Gren thinks he’s God, but trust me, he ain’t.”
“You call that loud? Give me a chance, and I’ll show you loud.”
“Damn Brook, those noises … I’ll have some great inspiration for my spank bank for quite a while.”
The last one was Cody, to which Grennan replied, “No fucking jerking off to my girl.”
I had to learn pretty quickly to have thick skin around them. The first couple of times, I blushed and ducked my head. But then I found my backbone, and when one of the guys made another “Grennan isn’t God” joke, I responded with, “See, guys, you have it wrong. I’m not mistaking Grennan for God; he’s just that good, he literally sends me to heaven to meet the big guy before his big guy performs the miracle of resurrection. It’s a holy experience,” I added with a wink, slapped Grennan’s ass, and then sauntered back to the room, leaving the guys with their mouths hanging wide open. I knew it wasn’t so much what I had said because as clever as I thought it was, it really wasn’t. It was that I had said it at all. They didn’t tease me after that, and I stopped being self-conscious.
“I like this side of you,” Grennan told me later that day.
“Oh, yeah?”
“I feel like I’ve gotten to know you better on this tour,” he responded honestly.
“Is that good or bad?”
“Definitely good.” I thought he had known me well, but maybe he was right, and there was more than even I knew. Maybe I was getting to know myself better. I wasn’t sure I agreed with him that it was a good thing, though. I had shown him and myself some very different characteristics from the very beginning of the tour, some of which weren’t that great. He must have read something on my face that gave away my insecurities because he tacked on, “Don’t worry, Brooklyn, I’ll get you to believe every single side of you is definitely good.”
I hoped he would.
Brooklyn
We filled the rest of the first day in Chicago with last-minute pre-tour stuff and as much sightseeing crammed into a few hours as possible. The following day was the official start of the tour.
I found out that morning that Grennan got nervous before a show. He was up early and was jittery all day.
“You always seem so sure of yourself. What’s this all about?” I asked after breakfast.
“The anxiety I felt as a kid never really left,” he explained. “I became confident, sure, but some effects linger from being in the wrong kind of spotlight.”
“That seems pretty logical, but Grennan, you’re amazing. You smile, and people fall at your feet, let alone when you sing. I can’t imagine what it’s like to stand in front of thousands of people, and I’m sure I’d get stage fright, but all those people love you. They love your music, and they love watching you perform. They are here to support you. No need for any past anxiety.”
I think I actually saw Grennan physically relax, and I mentally patted myself on the back. Looked like I could add stress reliever to my resume.
“Thank you; I guess I needed to hear that,” Grennan told me as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him, so my head rested in the crook of his neck. I had become very fond of that position. I felt secure with his arm around me, tucked into his side.
“I speak the truth,” I responded.
“Rehearsal is in about an hour,” he informed me. “You’re coming.” It hadn’t been a request or even a plea; it was just a given. I had gotten used to that, though. Grennan didn’t ask, he announced. That was part of who he was, and I liked it. No, I loved it. Had I had different plans, like maybe more sightseeing or a trip to the salon before my first tour, it wouldn’t have mattered. What Grennan wanted, he got. Often with little persuasion. Either way, I had made no other plans. In truth, I was hoping I’d get to go to the rehearsal so I could experience all the little nuances of a tour. It was my first, but who knew if it’d be my last.
We got to The United Center a little late. It wasn’t my fault; Grennan decided he needed some extra tension relief, and apparently, my body did the trick for him. Of course, the two orgasms he gave me were just a bonus on my end.
I couldn’t remember the last time I was at a concert. Actually, I couldn’t remember ever being at a concert. I was sure I’d seen a few bands perform live, but my mind was drawing a blank. Being the only people in such a huge venue was a little unnerving. We walked through a side door, and one of the assistants I’d met the night before greeted us. He led us through what I was sure was a maze, but it was just a series of hallways and then we were backstage. It was all so surreal.
“What are you doing?” Grennan laughed after he caught me pinching my arm. Yeah, I had to do that just in case. Although, if it was a dream, I wasn’t sure why I risked waking myself.
“Sometimes, I still can’t believe I’m with you, and then now, here, this is all … it’s just… wow.” I didn’t have the right words to describe what I was feeling. To the world, Grennan was something special. He was something special to me as well, but only because I was in love with him. I didn’t care that he was famous or that he was a musician by profession; I cared that he was good to me, and my heart literally fluttered around him. When his life was staring me in the face, I couldn’t help but turn into a little bit of a fangirl myself.
“Now you know how I feel about you.” He winked, and just like that, he brought me back to earth. That. That, right there, was why I was hopelessly in love with Grennan. And he was making it harder and harder to keep my mouth shut and tuck those three words away.
“Come on.” He tugged my hand. “I want you to see what it’s like up on stage.”
“But I’m not supposed to be up there,” I told him.
“Who says?” He pulled harder, but my feet were rooted. I didn’t want to go up on stage. I just wanted to stay in the shadows, just watch Grennan perform from the sidelines and allow his voice to mesmerize me. But I already mentioned that whatever Grennan wanted, he got, and so the next thing I knew, I was smack dab in the middle of the stage, peering out over the empty seats.
“What do you think?” he asked as people ran about, setting things up. Cody, Trevor, and Gavin had already gotten to their places. I knew my hands were trembling before I even felt them shaking. I felt the air escape my lungs as I opened my mouth to take a deep breath. I didn’t understand what was happening. There was no audience around, and I wasn’t the center of attention. I was just a random chick standing in the middle of an empty venue, with a few people she knew behind her and a few others who didn’t even know she existed. You’re not the one performing. No stage fright for you, I heard my mind whispering, but I couldn’t do anything to stop the fear creeping up on me.
“Brooklyn?” Grennan asked, seeing as I hadn’t answered him. And then I heard Gavin strum his guitar and everything I had just been feeling suddenly amplified.
I could hear my heart pounding, beating wildly, as if it was trying to escape my chest. I felt the trembles in my hand move to my entire body. I was shaking. No, not just shaking. My entire body was quaking. I no longer was short of breath, but I had lost everything in my lungs, and nothing was coming back in. And my mind … my mind was reeling; coherent thoughts weren’t something I even understood at that moment.
The only thing I knew was that my body was shutting down, and I didn’t know why. Panic attack. I figured that was what was happening, but I couldn’t comprehend it. I was on an empty stage. I was with my rock star boyfriend and his band. I was not the one who was going to perform in front of hundreds of people. But even with all rational thoughts exiting my mind, one managed to break through. You’re on a stage, Brooklyn. It was as if my mind was speaking to itself with that single thought. And it was such an obvious one too. Of course, I was on a stage. That was the last thing I remembered. That was where I was when my body and mind began to shut down. Yet it felt like my subconscious was trying to tell me something much deeper. Was it trying to tell me I wasn’t cut out to be the girlfriend of a rock star after all? Well, that would majorly suck. Especially since I loved Grennan. I guess we’d have to figure things out.
And then I slowly felt the air trickle into my body, the spasms subsided, and my mind was coming back. I knew my eyes had been open the entire time, but it felt as if I had just opened them as I looked around.
I was on the floor, no longer standing up, but Grennan had me cradled in his arms. He was rocking me back and forth, as if I was a baby.
“Brooklyn, you’re okay. Shhh, you’re okay.” He chanted that repeatedly, and a group of people surrounded us.
“Wha-what happened?” I asked.
“I don’t know. One minute, you were fine, and the next, you were having some kind of attack.” I could hear the unease in Grennan’s voice, and I felt bad. The last thing I wanted to do was freak him out.
“Panic attack, it seemed like,” Cody added. “My sis gets them.” He shrugged.
“Why?” I asked as if they’d know the answer. I vaguely realized I’d be embarrassed once it all processed.
“Have you been stressed lately?” Cody asked.
“No,” I answered just as Grennan said, “Yes.”
“What do I have to be stressed about?” I asked, turning in his arms.
“This entire tour has been stressful, right? You left your normal life, you’re coming with me, about to live out of a traveling bus, city to city, and your best friend is back home. That’s a lot to take in. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard.” His tone made it seem like he blamed himself.
“Grennan, you haven’t pushed me at all. I wanted to be here. I’ve never had a panic attack before, and I bet I’m just nervous for you. That’s what it has to be. Really, I’m fine. Mortified, but fine.”
“No need to be embarrassed.” Cody spoke up. “Shit happens, we understand.”
“Yeah,” Gavin, Trevor, and a few other guys said practically in sync as they nodded their heads.
“Thank you,” I said, but I knew I was turning red.
“You had me really worried,” Grennan told me as he led me off the stage.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I promise it has nothing to do with you.” I wasn’t sure what had happened. All I knew was that I had come back to in Grennan’s arms. I knew his comforting was what brought me back to reality and made my panic attack subside, so I told him so. “I know you brought me out of the panic attack, Grennan. My subconscious knew I was safe with you, and that’s what made it stop.”
“God, Brooklyn.” He didn’t finish his sentence but instead grabbed me and pulled me into a fierce hug, showing me instead of telling me just how much my words affected him. I let him.
“Now, I want my own private The Rising Sun concert,” I told him, lightening the mood.
He pulled away and looked at me skeptically. “Maybe I should take you back and have you lie down.”
“Don’t you dare, Grennan Larter. I am humiliated enough. Don’t you make me feel weak too. Now, I’m going out there to sit in the front row, and you’d better serenade me so well that I forget at least a dozen people saw me turn into mush.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said as he captured my lips.
And that was exactly what I did for the next hour. I let Grennan’s voice take me to another world. There were no fears in this world, no insecurities, no panic attacks, no what-ifs—just us … just Grennan and me. The perfect world.
Brooklyn
I wanted to say I wasn’t one of those girlfriends who got jealous over the scantily clad girls throwing themselves at my boyfriend. I wasn’t. Those girls weren’t girls ; they were skanks. They weren’t scantily clad; they were missing clothing. And they weren’t throwing themselves at my boyfriend; they were practically dry humping any part of him they could reach. Heck, even the air he just passed was good enough for them.
The first show was intense for me. Add in the weird panic attack I had earlier, the way Grennan acted around me after that — as if I was made of fragile glass and he was afraid he’d break me—the hundreds, maybe thousands of people surrounding us, the chaos from the throngs of people trying to get a glimpse of the band, the random people hurrying around backstage, the loud music thumping through the many speakers, and the damn skanks trying to latch on to Grennan, and let’s just say my first show was not what I had expected it to be.
In Grennan’s defense, he somehow fielded the girls without being a jerk but while still respecting me. He signed some autographs, dropped a few smiles, and either ignored or politely declined anything inappropriate, like the girl who straight up said, “I want to suck your cock.” I was two seconds away from bitch slapping her, and I wasn’t a confrontational person.
Grennan grimaced, pulled me closer to him, and said, “Thanks, but I’m taken.”
She still had the audacity to say, “Okay, after the show then.”
Grennan mouthed sorry before just walking away.
I guess I would have to get used to it.
I texted Cassidy just before Grennan went on.
I’m gonna cut some bitches.
Tell me when & where & I’m there. That was why she was my best friend. She didn’t even have to know the details to back me up.
These groupies r pissing me off. They have no shame. I told her.
That
’s y they’re trashy groupies & ur the girlfriend. I didn’t get to reply before she added: Any blind man can c Grennan is head over heels for u. Don’t let them get to u.
Luv u, Cass. She knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.
Lu2. But if u need me, I’m still there.
I chuckled quietly at her last text and then smiled. I looked over at Grennan, who must have felt my eyes on him because he looked up and caught my eye. The smile that made its way to his lips was unlike any I’d seen him give anyone else. Cassidy was right. Those girls weren’t his for a reason. I hadn’t figured out exactly why I was, but all I knew was that Grennan wanted me and only me, and I would not let anything get in the way.
I watched his band perform from the side of the stage. Even though I had heard the entire set earlier that day, with all the extra theatrics and noise, it was like a brand-new show.
I let the music take hold of me, and I even closed my eyes once to listen to Grennan sing, but when I did, I felt some lingering panic take hold of me. I opened my eyes, focused on Grennan, and let his voice soothe me. And just like that, any anxiety I felt was gone. Grennan was all I needed to calm down.
After the show was just as crazy as before. Fans wanted more of them, managers wanted to talk about some new details, and the guys wanted to let some steam off. We grabbed a quick bite, the guys disappeared somewhere for an hour or so, and Grennan used me for some of that extra energy. I didn’t mind … I didn’t mind one bit.