by Jeannie Moon
“Touch me, Jason,” she said. “Touch me everywhere.”
That’s what he wanted more than anything, her trust.
“Oh, baby, you can count on it.”
***
When they pulled up in front of the apartment building, Meg was limp in Jason’s arms. God, what that man did to her. What he was still promising to do to her was probably illegal in twenty states.
His hands were like magic, tender, patient, and skilled, and his kisses took her places she’d never be able to go without him. She’d been worried that everything she was feeling was based in physical attraction. She wanted to believe she was savvier than that, but she wondered if her emotions had mixed with her hormones.
She opened her eyes and took a good long look at the man she’d married. It wasn’t her hormones talking, it was her heart. He was the one for her—the only one who could make her feel whole, who was her other half.
Jason was her soul mate.
A few weeks ago, she’d wondered how she’d ever continue to live with him, with his work and his moods and his entourage. Now that he’d let down his guard, she saw the eighteen-year-old boy paired with the man he’d grown into, and she didn’t know how she’d live without him.
Meg came to the realization that she was hopelessly in love with her husband, and it was a bit sad because she didn’t know if he could ever let himself feel the same way about her. She saw glimmers of feeling, and gestures like wearing his wedding ring gave her hope, but until he finally broke and let himself love her completely, it would only be half a marriage. And if she’d learned anything over the past couple of months, it was that she didn’t have to settle for anything. Her life was up to her.
How this went, how it ended, was also up to her.
“Come on. We promised to call Molly if it wasn’t too late.”
Meg slid out of the car and into Jason’s waiting arms. “I hope she’s still up,” he said.
“She’s with my sister and my mother. Trust me, she’s still up. They’re probably having English muffins and jam while watching endless Disney movies.”
“English muffins and jam?”
Meg smiled and held on to his arm as they walked into the lobby of the building. He nodded to the doorman, who smiled as they walked by. “English muffins are kind of a sleepover tradition in my family. When Carly and I slept over with my grandmother, we’d always have them. It was a special thing. I don’t know. You must think it’s stupid.”
He grinned and pushed the button for the elevator. “No, I love it. Traditions like that are important. I used to go to my grandfather’s office a few times a year, and we always went to a special place for lunch. Mario’s. It was in Little Italy, and they had the best spaghetti and meatballs.” He stepped into the elevator with her and pressed the button for their floor. “It’s good your mom will give her that. She’s not getting it from my parents.”
Meg rested her head on his upper arm, and when she did, she caught sight of herself in the elevator mirror. Her hair was all over the place, her lips were swollen, her face flushed. “Oh, my God!”
“What?” Jason wouldn’t care. He got her this way, but her reflection told her what other people saw.
“Look at me! I’m a mess! I look like . . . like . . .”
“Like you just had great sex?”
“Yes! Oh, my God!”
Turning her so her back was to the mirror, he kissed her collarbone. “You’re going to have lots more great sex before the night’s over.”
“Oh, Jesus. Why can’t I control myself?”
“You want to control yourself?” Jason ran the back of his hand over her cheek. “Why would you want to do that?”
“I don’t, but look at me.”
“I am,” he said on a breath. “I can’t get enough of you. God, Meg, I need to be inside you.”
She nodded, powerless to do anything but agree. She wanted him, too; even after having multiple orgasms in the limo, she wanted him again. It was crazy.
The door slid open, and they moved into the foyer and then into the apartment. One light burned in the living room, and the place was spotless, like there had never been a party. Jason dropped his tux jacket over a chair and pulled off his tie before reaching into his pocket and taking out his cell. His movements were smooth and graceful, which was unusual for a man who was so big. He pressed some buttons on the phone and smiled at her. “Hi, Mrs. Rossi, it’s Jason. We wanted to say good night to Molly.” There was a pause. “The event was very nice, and Meg was a hit.” Another pause, and he smiled at her. “She looked gorgeous, but you knew that. I’ll show you a picture when I see you. Thank you.”
The small talk with her mother was new, but Jason had been doing more to win over her family since her mother’s birthday. When they’d gone there on Halloween, her mother had commented on how well they were getting along and how wonderful he was with Molly.
“He’s different,” her mother had said.
And he was.
“Hey, Molly girl! How’s Grandma Meryl’s house? Good . . . Uh-huh . . . Right . . . English muffins—gotcha.” He shot a knowing grin at Meg. “Oh, you want to talk to Mommy?”
Meg stopped in her tracks. Mommy?
Jason passed the phone into her trembling hand. “Did she really ask for Mommy?”
“She did,” he said, right before he touched his lips to her temple. “She’s making a transition.”
Meg nodded, shaken, because as much as she wanted Molly to accept the fact that she was going to be her mother, she never wanted Molly to lose Grace. She took the phone. “Hi, honey. Are you having fun? Yes . . . I had a very nice time . . . There were a lot of people there, uh-huh . . . You’re going to bed now? Okay, sweetie. I love you, too . . . Night.”
Meg dropped into a chair when the call ended, and Jason knelt before her. “You okay?”
“That was so strange. Why do I feel like I’m betraying Grace? God, Jason, I don’t want her to forget her mother.”
“She won’t, because we’ll keep Grace and Mark alive for her. She’ll always know they are part of her life and we will be, too.”
“I know this is normal and I loved hearing it, but it also felt wrong somehow.”
“Don’t do this to yourself. As I told you, I know why Grace picked you. You have such a capacity for love, Meg. I wish I hadn’t been too stupid to see it when we were younger, but I see it now. Your heart is so big, so full. Molly is lucky to have you.”
Meg reached out and locked her arms around Jason’s neck. “She’s lucky to have both of us. I thought I could do this alone, but she needs you, too. And it’s not only about custody. She needs you.” Keeping her arms firmly around him, Meg leaned in and kissed him. “I need you.”
He didn’t say anything, not at first, but Jason took her hands from around his neck, stood, and brought her with him. Once she was standing, now without her heels, she had to look up to see that he was gazing at her with so much feeling, so much emotion, she almost believed he felt the same way she did.
“Meg, I don’t want to let you down. I’m afraid that I will, but I want to give you everything, absolutely everything.”
His mouth covered hers, and he started to turn her toward the bedroom. It was a dance . . . a true and beautiful dance that had Meg hoping he was finally learning to trust his feelings.
“Have faith, Jason.”
“I have faith in you,” he said. “Just not in myself.”
“Then I’ll have enough for both of us.”
***
It had been too long since he’d been with her like this, and the anticipation of making love to her was building to an explosive point. Jason took in the floral scent of her hair, felt the curve of her back, and relished how her body pressed into his so tenderly. She reached up and wound her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. They moved slowly, as if there were really music, and eventually she looked up. Her eyes were softer now, more liquid.
“What?” he as
ked.
Her hand came around and stroked his jaw. There was so much he wanted to say to her—how much she meant to him, how much he needed her—but it would all have to wait. He lowered his mouth and captured hers in a slow, deep kiss. Soon their tongues were winding in another dance, and the heat between them was almost unbearable. Jason swept her into his arms and sat on the big chair by the windows overlooking the park with Megan securely in his lap. Meg seemed unaware that they’d moved. Her fingers ran through his hair and gripped his head. He left her mouth in favor of kissing her throat, and her soft purr of approval warmed his blood a little more. With one hand he supported her back while the other traveled up the length of her leg. Her scent, her taste, clouded his brain.
He kissed her again. It was a hungry kiss, one filled with passion and longing, but tempered by gentleness. He took small sips of her lips, then probed deeper with his tongue. Meg melted at his touch and responded eagerly. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and as the soft folds of her dress rode up, Jason grasped her bottom and pulled her closer. His hands moved over the soft skin that had been the focus of his attention in the limo.
When he pulled away for a breath, she left a trail of kisses over his neck. “You are a very bad girl, Megan Campbell.”
“And you love it,” she whispered while she nipped at his ear. She was right, he did love it. Meg may have been unsure around the people in his life, but in the bedroom, she knew exactly what she was doing. And what she was doing was making him crazy.
Eventually, her dress frustrated him and he unzipped it, let her stand, and watched as it puddled around her feet. Jason almost passed out because all the blood left his brain. Meg was standing before him like a goddess wearing nothing but a black lace thong. “I’m not going to survive this,” Jason groaned. “But what a way to go.”
“You’re a big, tough guy; I’m sure you can take it.” Wiggling so she straddled his lap, she made her own observation. “You have too many clothes on,” she cooed. Her fingers played with the studs on his shirt, and one by one she released them. Her hands spread across his hard chest, slid over his shoulders, and pushed the shirt behind him. “That’s a little better, and definitely more fair, considering.”
He smiled. “I think we should close the door so no one gets an eyeful.” And an eyeful they would get, of Meg.
Nibbling his ear, she mumbled, “Whatever. I just want you naked.”
“Hang on,” he said. She was positively wanton and he loved it, but one of them had to use common sense. Jason clutched her bottom with both hands and lifted her like she weighed nothing. Meg wrapped her legs around his waist and held on.
She nuzzled his neck as he carried her to the bed, laying her down gently and then closing the door. Her scent still reminded him of wildflowers, but now it was tinged with the hot smell of their bodies.
She didn’t stay on her back for long. Just as he was about to undress, she was on her knees unbuckling his belt and pushing down his pants, running her hands over his ass and his thighs, pushing down his briefs. She slid her hands over him and kissed his chest. “God, you’re so beautiful, Jason.”
He ran his fingers through her hair and held her head so she looked up at him. Guilt swamped him. He shouldn’t have a second chance with her. Everything about her was warm and soft and giving, and he’d done nothing in this life but take and leave wreckage. “Meg, tell me you forgive me.”
“Forgive you?”
He had to say it, he had to face this once and for all.
“For not standing by you. For letting my father hurt you. I know I hurt you, too. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything.”
Meg’s hands stopped moving but stayed flat on his chest, her eyes locked on his. She probed, looked deeply, and then his beautiful girl leaned into him, and saved him. Meg ran her fingers into his hair and kissed him—three times. She kissed him with forgiveness, with promise, and with all the love in her heart.
“Thank you for that,” she said. “Thank you.”
The fire in his belly cooled to a subtle warmth as he touched his forehead to hers. His apology brought his mind back to the reason he’d wanted to be with her tonight. Jason wanted her to know how he felt, how much he loved her. He couldn’t bring the words to the surface, but he could show her, he could get her to feel what he felt. He stared into her eyes. Behind the bright green he saw the love that she’d stored up over the past fourteen years. The months they’d been together had made the emotions more intense, more vital for each of them. His breath was ragged as he kissed her soft, sweet lips and touched her beautiful face.
“God, what have I done to deserve you?” he gasped.
She pulled him onto the bed and Jason kissed her again and again, until the fire between them returned and Jason stretched out above her. Their bodies, their skin, belonged together. He raised himself so he could see her and shuddered. Quite simply, she was a dream. Her body was delicate and rounded. Feminine. No muscles, no bones, no signs of hard workouts, just beautiful skin, a small waist, soft curves. Her breasts were full and begging to be touched. He couldn’t speak and knew all she could hear was his heavy breathing. His lips moved over her neck and shoulder, and his fingertips grazed slowly over her naked body.
All he could think about was the heat. The warmth where their bodies touched, the hot pulse he felt between her legs. She moaned as Jason’s hands found the most sensitive places, the secret places he’d discovered when they were only learning about each other. He kissed her until she couldn’t think, touched her until she went limp, and let his mouth skim over the sweet skin he hadn’t tasted for months. And as she started to peak, she begged him to take her, to come inside her and be a part of her.
When he entered her and heard his name slip from her lips, felt her legs and arms wrap around him, Jason lost control. He filled her so perfectly that she seemed to melt into him. There was never a choice for either one of them. When Jason and Megan were together, it was like some cosmic balance was restored. Mistakes were in the past, and only the future mattered. Her movements brought him to the edge of reason. Grabbing her hips and lifting them higher, he thrust into her deeply, with such power and possessiveness that Meg cried out a little with each movement. She pulled him closer until finally they both surged and tensed, their cries echoing each other. Their eyes were locked as the climax ripped through them with a fury neither one expected.
Jason collapsed, knowing he’d given Meg every ounce of himself. He moved slightly, rolling her so she rested, nestled in his arms. He felt her staggered breathing and her tiny, damp body. “Meg?” He stroked her hair. “Are you all right?”
She tilted her face toward his, and the pure joy shining in her face gave him his answer. “I love you,” she said. “I’ve always loved you.”
Hearing her words, having her curl up next to him and slip her arms around him, Jason felt as if he’d been delivered.
***
“What’s your favorite flavor?” she asked him. They sat cuddled in bed, eating ice cream at three o’clock in the morning.
“Vanilla, same as always. Why?”
“I thought maybe it changed. You were always so predictable. When we’d go out, you’d always get a plain scoop of vanilla while I wolfed down a sundae.”
“You eat ice cream like it’s a religious experience,” he joked. Her eyes narrowed, and he grinned while digging his spoon into the container for another taste of chocolate chip.
Settling in to the crook of his arm, she took another spoonful from the pint of rocky road in her hand. “I guess there’s something mildly sacred about chocolate.”
He laughed, and Meg felt the hairs on the back of her neck stir. Then nothing. Just the whisper of warm breath as he pressed his lips into the curve between her neck and shoulder.
“It’s better than I remember it,” he said.
“What?”
“Making love to you. It’s better now. I realized that when we were on the boat.”
“Do you
think so?” she asked. She pulled at the collar of the oversize shirt that kept slipping off her shoulders.
“Uh-huh. It’s probably because we aren’t afraid of being caught.” He laughed again.
“Possibly. I think it’s because we’ve grown up. Gotten past the baggage,” Meg said.
His arms tightened, and she heard him inhale sharply. “Do you think about what would have happened if we hadn’t split up back then?”
She peered over her shoulder and thought about his question, wondering if he’d missed her at all when he’d gone away to school. She’d always thought he hadn’t cared, but the way he talked about it now made her wonder what was true. His jaw was set and his eyes downcast. “I used to think about you all the time. But I don’t think we would have stayed together. We weren’t ready,” she said.
He kissed her forehead, swung his long legs to the side, and sat up. “I thought about you a lot, too. But you’re probably right.”
Crawling into his lap, Meg rested her head on Jason’s shoulder. She wanted him to understand what she was feeling, because everything had changed between them. This life they’d started to build was fragile, and if they were going to have a future, the past had to be buried. But at the same time, he needed to understand who she’d become. “I was miserable after you left and I hated you, but I had to learn to live without you, Jason. You’d been part of my life since I was eight years old and, yes, the way we ended things was hard, but we couldn’t have stayed together.”
“I didn’t know how much you mattered to me until I lost you. Maybe that’s what I needed.”
“Maybe you did.”
“I never knew what you saw in me, anyway. I was a complete geek.”
“You weren’t a geek.” Meg looked back and grinned at him. “Okay, maybe you were a little bit of a geek, but I always loved that big brain of yours.” She was happy to get all this out in the open, but sad for what they’d put each other through. “We both made a lot of mistakes. I expected too much.”
Jason’s arms squeezed her tighter. “Don’t. All you ever gave me was love. Don’t blame yourself because I didn’t know how to return it.”