‘Busy day.’ Evie flipped down the lid of the wooden box, turned, and folded her arms.
Despite her tiny frame, her stance projected strength.
‘Can we sit?’ Griff invited her to take a corner of the sofa, and when she was seated, he took the other. ‘Imogen’s not a threat. I have no intention of being with someone else, any more than you do.’ He shuffled forward. ‘The fact you’re angered by the thought tells me there’s hope for us.’ Griff transferred to the middle seat and took Evie’s hand. It was as chilled as the water he’d poured from the tap. ‘I need to know what’s going on,’ he said, ‘because I’m making wild guesses and I haven’t a clue if I’m on the right track.’
They sat for a moment, inches apart, both gazing at their linked fingers, Evie’s gaining warmth with every second.
‘I think life got in our way,’ Griff continued. ‘I’ve been wrapped up in work, and Dad needs more care.’ He stopped and looked at Evie, seeking clues from her green eyes. They were cast down. ‘I’ve been to see him, like you asked.’
‘I didn’t ask, I suggested. It was something you had to do of your own free will, Logan was clear about that.’ Evie’s fingers twitched, but she wasn’t pulling away.
‘He issued instructions?’ Griff edged closer. ‘My father told you not to insist I visit?’ That went some way to explaining Evie’s reticence to discuss Logan, but what possible reason was there for him to behave that way? It had put Evie in a difficult position. This was something to do with the mysterious and abrupt breakdown of their marriage, Griff was positive. ‘Talk to me, Evie. Make me understand.’
As she lowered her head, a swath of glossy hair fell forward. With his free hand, Griff gathered it and laid it over her shoulder, the red of the strands contrasting with the cream of her neck.
‘It was important you went because you wanted to,’ Evie said. ‘Not because you felt it your duty. Love isn’t about duty.’
And there was Evie’s first reason for abiding by Logan’s rules. Unconditional love. Her second was her unwavering loyalty.
Still holding her hand, Griff placed it on his chest and pressed it to his heart. ‘Do you know how much I love you? How much I’ve missed being a part of your life? Our life?’
Of her own volition, she laid her other hand on top of Griff’s. She’d feel his heart beating, he was certain. It was thumping so fast and with such great force, it was vibrating in his head.
‘I couldn’t betray him, Griff. And I couldn’t betray you. I didn’t know what to do.’
He hushed her with a finger to her lips. ‘I’ve been incredibly stupid,’ he said. ‘I should have been there with you, giving my support, doing my bit, being a decent son. I’ve seen how dependent my father is now, and if I’d been to visit him sooner, I’d have understood the pressure you’ve been under.’ He fell silent, not knowing where to take the conversation. Eventually, he said, ‘I’m sorry. I should have listened to what you were saying. Asked when I didn’t understand. Thanked you for taking such good care of my father.’ He let down his hand. ‘I’ve spent a lifetime saving all and sundry, but when it came to you … I don’t know … I should’ve put up more of a fight.’
‘You’re here, aren’t you?’ Evie recovered his hand and cradled it in her lap. ‘I’d say you fought long and hard. More than I deserved. I was the one who pushed you away.’
‘And I shouldn’t have gone.’ Griff stooped to meet Evie’s eyes. ‘I thought I’d lost you. Have I?’
Evie laid her palm against his cheek. Her touch was both comforting and consoling, instilling in Griff an overall sense of foreboding. He left her hand to rest there while he waited for her verdict.
‘I don’t want to be lost,’ she said. ‘But what if I’ve gone too far? What if there’s no way back?’ She withdrew, pressed herself into the corner of the sofa, and pulled her knees to her chin. ‘I don’t want to keep hurting you.’
That was all Griff needed to hear. Evie wanted the same as him. ‘Then let’s work out a way forward. Together.’ He crouched on the floor at Evie’s side, and swept her hair away from her face. ‘I miss you,’ he said. ‘I’m miserable without you, and I’m a better man for having you in my life. I’m not prepared to sacrifice all of that when I know we can make it right. We’ve had three great years. We have Tess and Dylan, and shared memories, the same goals and ideals. And dreams. We have all these wonderful things connecting us. Things linking you to me. Things that will bring us together. And they’ll help us find our way back.’ He offered a smile. ‘And we will. This is the beginning. A chance to get things right, and I’m going to start with telling you about Imogen.’
Evie compressed her tightly bundled body into an even smaller package, as her shoulders curved in and her hands clasped her opposite elbows.
‘There’s not much more to the story than you already know,’ Griff said. ‘But I’m not continuing until you take a breath.’
As Evie exhaled, her structure loosened. She put her feet on the floor, her back square to the sofa, and she invited Griff to sit beside her.
‘Okay,’ he said, once he was seated. ‘It’s like I said before. I felt Kieran’s death was my fault. I knew tombstoning was a bad idea, and I should have done more to stop him from jumping, but I didn’t.’
Evie turned to look at Griff. ‘I thought he pushed you away.’
‘Yeah, he did, but the fact remains I couldn’t save him, and Imogen, who loved the bones of him, lost the brother she idolised. Since then, I’ve wanted to look out for her. I cared for her. She was the nearest I had to a little sister. I was prepared to do what I could to help, but her parents warned me to stay away. Even Imogen made it clear she wasn’t interested in anything I had to say. More than that, seeing me upset her and her parents. I guess I was a reminder of what they’d lost. I hadn’t seen Imogen in years. Not until I ran into her on Chesil.’
Evie leaned into Griff’s shoulder. ‘Surely the family didn’t resent you for surviving?’
‘Why wouldn’t they? They’d lost their son, and although they never said it to me, I’ve always thought they blamed me for Kieran’s death. I’ve been desperate to save lives ever since.’
Strands of Evie’s hair tickled Griff’s neck. He stroked them into place, and laid his head on top of hers. A hint of apple brought him vivid recollections of he and Evie showering together, washing each other’s body, shampooing each other’s hair. He’d had to kneel so Evie could reach.
‘Do you still feel you owe Imogen?’
With a deep breath, Griff directed his senses back to the living room. ‘Not owe. It was never about paying back a debt, but I’m pleased we’ve reconnected. It’s good to know she’s not alone, and I think she could be a real friend to the family. We can all help each other.’
‘Logan and Tess are certainly taken with her.’ Evie’s tone was a little left of acerbic.
‘She’s not a patch on you.’ Griff sat erect, tilted Evie’s chin up and smiled. ‘She’s going to be great for my father, though, and that can only be good for us. It gives us a chance to spend time together, and I’d really like that.’
‘So would I.’ Evie surprised him by stretching up for a kiss.
It was nothing like the kiss from the other night. That had been driven by need and passion. It had been done with intent. It had been a promise of what was to follow. This was full of hope. It tasted of new beginnings, and it answered questions, rather than asked.
‘You think it could work?’ Evie snuggled into Griff’s side.
‘I think it’s meant to be.’ The fact Imogen had surfaced at this difficult time in Griff’s life was all the evidence he required. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her before.’ The reason for his nondisclosure seemed ridiculous now. ‘I didn’t think it was an important part of my history where you and I are concerned. It didn’t affect our relationship.’ He held up his hands. ‘In hindsight, I should’ve been open and honest from the start like you, but from this moment, I have no more sec
rets, no hidden past, and no other skeletons lurking in the cupboard.’ The relief of coming clean lifted Griff’s soul. ‘You know as much about me now as I do you. Everything.’
Evie sat upright. ‘Not everything,’ she said.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Evie
Evie removed herself from the sofa. She rubbed her arm as the cold air replaced Griff’s body heat. ‘There’s something I need to tell you.’ Griff had laid his heart on the line, and in the spirit of true love, she needed to provide full disclosure, too. It was now or never.
She had Griff’s full attention.
Giving herself time to consider her phrasing, she walked to the other side of the room. The coffee table stood between her and Griff – a boundary not to be crossed.
There was no way of sugar-coating what she had to say, and the sooner it was out there, she reasoned, the sooner she’d know the true state of her marriage.
She folded back her cuffs, pulled her sleeves tidy and stared at Griff. ‘My first husband died.’
Her delivery was more succinct than she’d planned.
‘I thought he left you.’ Griff’s forehead creased – rows of questions lining up to be asked. ‘You told me he’d left you and you haven’t seen him since.’ The lines deepened. ‘Tess told me the same thing.’
Challenging herself to continue, Evie took a shaky breath and replied. ‘That wasn’t a lie. He committed suicide. There was no note, but it was suicide.’ Did those details matter here? They mattered to the police and to the coroner. She had the answers perfected. ‘He left me. And Tess. And we haven’t seen him since that day.’
Griff pushed his fingers along the grave furrows above his eyes. ‘Semantics, Evie, but okay, I can see why you would phrase it that way, especially for Tess’s sake, but why did you keep it from me?’
She scratched at her arm, anxiety presenting as intense itches. She’d seen her daughter do the same under pressure. ‘I do put it like that for Tess’s sake because it isn’t straight-forward.’ Evie steepled her hands together and put them to her mouth in silent prayer. ‘Tess found him.’
‘Dead?’
Evie licked her lips. What she’d give for a cold glass of water right now. ‘Not quite.’
‘Not quite as in I’ve got it wrong, or not quite dead?’ Griff was on his feet, his hands anchored around the back of his neck.
‘Not quite dead.’ The itch had moved to Evie’s shoulder. ‘He was on her bed. He’d cut down his arm and was bleeding out. Tess was petrified. She couldn’t move. By the time I got upstairs, it was all over.’
Griff’s arms were outstretched now, begging to hold Evie. ‘She watched him die?’
Evie gave the slightest of nods as her reply. ‘He had to do it, didn’t he? One last attack, one last attempt to show he meant business. One last hurrah to hurt Tess and get to me. The evil bastard.’
‘What do you mean?’ Griff’s jaw set and his fingers balled into tight fists.
‘After years of abuse, I’d finally found the strength to divorce him.’ Evie reversed a step. It wasn’t Griff she feared; it was the dread of the approaching darkness. ‘It wasn’t the first time he’d threatened to top himself if I went through with it. His choice of words. I was weak before and believed him when he told me I wouldn’t be able to live with his death on my conscience, so I always backed down, but every time he won the round, his assaults became more violent, less selective—’ She wanted to spit the words out. ‘Listen to me, making excuses. He was a vile, wicked man who hated his daughter and who beat and raped me, and he deserved to die.’
Griff skirted round the table, opened his arms wide and closed in around Evie.
She shut her eyes and fell into his body, safe, protected. ‘I’m sorry Tess was there. I wish it had been me who’d found him.’ She wished a million things where Neil was concerned. She wished she’d been stronger. She wished she’d had the courage to leave him sooner. She wished Tess had never been put through a living hell.
With her eyes now open, Evie looked at Griff. ‘We told the police it was me. I couldn’t have Tess implicated. I didn’t know the law. Did she have a duty of care? Should she have intervened? The fact she couldn’t didn’t matter. The fact I wouldn’t threw a whole different light on the subject.’ She breathed in Griff’s warmth. ‘So when the police arrived, I said I’d found Neil. I lied. I made Tess lie. And then I made her swear to never talk about it to anyone. Not even me. God knows what damage I’ve done.’
‘No, no, no. Don’t go there. You did the right thing.’
She was hugged tighter than she thought possible.
‘Did he ever …’
‘Tess?’ Evie saved Griff the pain of asking. ‘No. Not physically, but he was brutal with his words.’ She pulled away from the embrace. ‘This has to remain between us.’
‘Of course.’ Griff invited her in for another hug, but Evie stayed where she was.
‘It was Tess who thought I should tell you about him. She wants to talk about it. The thing is, she doesn’t know the whole story.’ Evie glanced at the floor, and she fixated on a squashy juggling ball she’d not put away. ‘Her father was jealous of her. He resented her and the time I spent with her, and that’s what led to the violence. How can I tell her that?’ Evie trapped the ball under her foot. ‘Shadows and echoes already haunt her. He haunts us both. In here.’ She flattened her fingertips to her temple. ‘Tess said something the other day about how it was worth trying to talk him out of her system because the alternative was much worse. She didn’t say what that was.’
‘Jeez.’ Griff’s head was jogging left to right. ‘On top of me being an arse, you’ve had all of this going on. I should have been here for you.’
‘You didn’t know. I kept it from you. I thought I was coping. Managing.’ She looked at Griff and presented a feeble smile. ‘Like you and Imogen, it’s a part of my history that had no direct bearing on us.’
Griff ducked his chin back. ‘Seriously? Evie, it’s totally relevant.’
‘So, if you’d known, you’d have treated me differently? Made your kisses softer? Never undressed me? Not touched my breasts? I didn’t want that. I fell in love with you and I wanted to be with you, and that first time we made love, you took this seething, malicious monster from within me and changed it into a beautiful, delicate butterfly. Why would I not want that?’
Her throat dry, and her words exhausted, Evie excused herself and escaped to the kitchen. She gulped down a glass of water, put the tumbler upside down in the sink, and collapsed onto a dining chair.
She’d done it. She’d told Griff. Not only that, he’d supported her and offered her understanding.
And he was still with her.
‘I’m going to call in sick.’ He padded in from the hall. ‘I can’t leave you like this.’ Standing behind Evie, he arched over her and wrapped his arms around her chest. ‘And if I had known, I would have loved you how I always do and always will. And I will never force you into something you don’t want to do. Never.’ He kissed the side of her neck. ‘I just found myself thinking about the coastguard rescues. I’m wondering if we’ve saved anyone like Neil. Have we ever saved someone who’s gone home and taken out their frustrations on their family?’
Evie grasped at his hand. ‘You mustn’t think like that. I don’t. If I did, I wouldn’t have met you.’ Griff was in danger of falling prey to Neil, and she couldn’t let that happen. The beast had two of them in his claws already.
She had to press home her point. ‘There are times when you have to step outside and see the world differently, accept there are other perspectives. Don’t let one bad experience shut the door to new possibilities, or new understanding. Challenge yourself, and challenge your beliefs.’ She tugged his arm to incite a response.
‘I’ve done that,’ he said. ‘In the last few days.’ Leaving his fingers in hers, Griff swivelled to the front of the chair and kneeled down. ‘Letting Ozzy go was one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced. But it
’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through.’
Evie stroked his hair, brushing the waves over his ear. He pushed against her palm. ‘You mustn’t compare,’ she said. ‘What you’ve been through was difficult, too.’
He turned his face into Evie’s hand. ‘What have I done to deserve you?’
‘You’ve loved me,’ was Evie’s honest reply. ‘And that’s not always easy.’ She smiled as Griff rose to his full height, and once he was sitting on a chair, she migrated to his lap, put an arm round his neck, and a hand on his chest. ‘Tell me about Ozzy.’
He took a deep breath. Evie’s fingers moved with his expanding ribs. ‘It was difficult,’ he said. ‘But seeing Ozzy lying on the big, black table, I realised he wasn’t coming back, and even if by some miracle he did wake, he couldn’t have lived life the way he enjoyed.’ Griff nuzzled the skin below Evie’s ear. ‘The funny thing is, in the midst of all the upset and pain, I suddenly got why Mum wanted to go.’
‘You did?’ This was another huge step forward for Griff, and it provided Evie with a natural segue into Logan’s situation, but that conversation was never going to be a stroll in the park. Yes, they’d opened up the channels of communication and they were being honest and forthright, but with everything that had passed that afternoon, it would have been too much.
For now she’d settle for the path being laid and the journey looking less bumpy.
‘I’m proud of you,’ she said. ‘And I wonder what I did to deserve you.’
The morning sun streamed in through the window, bringing to the kitchen a warmth and brilliance Evie thought lost months ago. Even her breakfast knife sparkled.
‘Imogen was there yesterday afternoon.’ Tess cut a slice of toast into fingers and put them on Dylan’s plate. He picked one up and stabbed at the boiled egg in front of him. Yolk oozed out.
‘Yes, you told me last night when I picked you up from Logan’s. I’m sorry I missed her.’
‘I did tell her you’d be there later, but she said she’d arranged to meet Griff at the Harbour Inn.’
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