All because he hadn’t cared for her the way he should have.
Laken whimpered and moved restlessly. He tucked her in tighter against him, murmuring soft words that made no sense.
She’d gone to that club because of him. Sure it had been a stupid move, but she’d been hurt and was lashing out.
He had slept easier after leaving her some emergency money, certain he was taking care of her.
Idiot.
He hadn’t even made sure that she would use the money if she needed it. It had taken him years to learn that money didn’t fix everything. It certainly hadn’t bought him happiness, and his need to build up a fortune had cost him everything.
He had failed to protect her. To take care of her.
Well, no more. He would do whatever it took to protect her.
Chapter Eight
Way to ruin things, Laken.
She’d known that telling Duncan the truth would be a mistake, and going to the club had been an even bigger mistake. How many people had seen her freak out?
For a moment there she’d almost had it all again.
Then she’d panicked and ruined it. Now, Duncan was treating her like a fragile glass figurine. As though any wrong move would make her shatter.
She refused to let him treat her as if she was broken. She might have problems being tied up and flogged, but damn it, she was not fragile!
Pep talk over, she decided that tonight was the night she was having sex.
What if he doesn’t want me anymore? What if he thinks I’m not worth the trouble?
She had to be braver than this. Taking a deep breath, Laken shoved back her doubts. Her self-esteem had taken as much of a beating as her body, but she knew Duncan wanted her. She’d felt his erection press up against her every evening when he left to go back to his place, leaving her to sleep in her own bed. Alone.
She had glossed over things last night, but she had no doubt Duncan would soon demand to know everything.
Laken pulled the roast chicken out of the oven, leaving it on the bench to rest for a while. A knock on her door had her frowning. She wasn’t expecting Duncan for another twenty minutes.
Wiping her hands on a towel, she moved over to the door and peered through the peephole. Moving back, she unlocked the door and pulled it open.
“Saxon?”
He smiled and held out a plate with a large slice of delicious looking cheesecake.
“Laken,” he greeted her. “You’re looking gorgeous as always.”
She glanced down at her ripped jeans and shirt. They were both designer labels, but had seen better days.
“Thanks,” she replied, brushing her hair back off her face. This was the first time she’d seen Saxon since the club. “How can I help you?”
“I was hoping for your help. Again.” He waggled the plate in his hands. “Cheesecake sample.”
She realized she hadn’t even invited him in. “Please, come in. It looks delicious.”
She shut the door behind him. His gaze took everything in.
“I’ve interrupted your dinner,” he said, placing the plate on the counter.
“Duncan’s coming over,” she replied, feeling a bit awkward.
Saxon nodded. “Well, you’ll have to hide the cheesecake. I didn’t bring enough for him.”
Personally, she thought the slice he’d brought over looked large enough to feed four, but she kept quiet.
Saxon turned to her, his gaze intent. Reaching out, he cupped her cheek. “You’re happy then, sweetheart?”
She breathed in sharply. There was a small zing of pleasure from his touch—she was only human after all. She stepped back, giving him a stern look. He grinned.
“I am.” Well, she’d be happier if she could get Duncan to sleep with her. “I’m sorry about what happened the other night. I hope I didn’t ruin other scenes.”
His gaze narrowed. “No need to apologize, although I would feel better if you had used your safe word. Duncan needs to work with you on that.”
Laken dropped her gaze.
“Laken?” His voice deepened, became a command. He tipped her face up. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said too quickly. Displeasure filled his face and she sighed. Sugar and spice. “I just don’t think Duncan will ever bring me back to the club.”
Saxon’s gaze turned thoughtful. “Why is that?”
She shrugged.
“You know better than that, Laken.”
God, would he not just let this go? “He’s treating me like I’m fragile,” she blurted out. “I know I must have disappointed him the other night. I disappointed myself. I thought I could do better than that. It was embarrassing.”
“He thinks you can’t handle it.”
She nodded.
“But you know better, don’t you, sweetheart?”
She let out a deep breath. “Yes.”
“So you prove it to him.” Stepping forward, he grasped hold of her shoulders. “And Laken, if he’s too dense to realize what a strong, passionate woman you are, there are others who will appreciate you, cherish you, look after you.”
Her breath caught at his words.
“You owe me.”
Was he going to call that in now? What did he want from her?
“Such large eyes, don’t worry, I’m not going to demand blood. All I want is your promise that if your relationship with Duncan should fall apart that you will come to me. I think we could have something between us, Laken. I won’t step between the two of you, but I am here for you. If you need me.”
He kissed her forehead, and then turned to leave, not even waiting for her reply. Opening the door, he called back over his shoulder. “Let me know what you think of the cheesecake.”
Then he was gone.
Less than a minute later, there was another knock on her door.
She shook herself and moved slowly to open it. Duncan stepped in with a scowl. “What was Saxon doing here?”
“He, umm, bought me some cheesecake to try. He’s opening a restaurant.”
Duncan stared at her for a long moment. “He wants you.”
“What?”
“I see the way he looks at you.”
“He said he won’t try to get between us,” she told him honestly. “But that if you and I ever break up he’d be interested.”
She was still reeling from that revelation. Duncan’s face grew red with temper. “I’ll kill him.”
She darted in front of the door, forcing him to go through her if he wanted to leave.
“No, you won’t. He won’t do anything while we’re together. Let it be.”
“Let it be? He made a play for you.”
God, he was stubborn at times. “Duncan, I’ve slaved for hours over this dinner. I was expecting to have a nice night, not to referee a fight between you and Saxon.”
“I don’t want him bothering you.”
“He wasn’t. I’m a big girl, Duncan. I can take care of myself, even though you seem to think I’ll break if you touch me.”
Temper faded as her words seemed to reach him.
“What are you talking about?”
She sighed, feeling exhausted. “You know what, maybe you should just go. I wanted to make us a special dinner, but it’s ruined now.”
Reaching out, he pulled her close to his chest, holding her tight. “You’re right. I’m an idiot. Why the hell would I want to go pound on Joel Saxon when I could be holding you?”
“You could be doing much more than holding me,” she told him. His whole body tightened and he pulled back to stare down at her.
“That so?”
She nodded, pulling him down to kiss him. Their mouths joined, sizzled. She ran her hands over his chest, touching him, needing him.
“I want you, Duncan.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Never been more sure of anything in my life.”
She held out her hand. He took her hand and let her lead him into the bedroom. Th
“Take your clothes off then lie on bed,” she told him.
He quirked an eyebrow at her.
“I want you to watch me strip.”
Duncan pulled off his clothes, then completely naked, he lay down on the bed, putting his arms behind his head. As soon as he was settled, Laken bent over and pulled off her pants.
She reached for her shirt.
“I have some scars,” she warned, feeling self-conscious. The other night, she’d kept them concealed with her camisole, but she knew she couldn’t keep them hidden from him forever.
“Show me,” he commanded.
Slowly, she stripped off her shirt, nerves jangling. Duncan’s gaze darkened, his attention totally focused on her.
It was an amazing feeling.
Duncan sat up, crooking a finger at her. She stepped forward, her breath caught in her throat. He ran his fingers over the worst scar on her side.
Did he think her ugly?
Leaning forward, he kissed her scar and she jumped in surprise.
“Shh,” he told her. “Stay still.” He licked from one end of the scar to the other. Then turning her, he did the same to another scar along the top of her buttocks, just above her panty line.
“Sick fuck, what kind of asshole grabs women and slices them?”
“I don’t want to think about him tonight.” She turned to face him once more, wanting to distract him.
Reaching back, she undid her bra, freeing her breasts. Immediately, his gaze grew hot as he focused in on her naked mounds.
“Damn, that’s beautiful,” he murmured. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“I’ve had sex since I was attacked, Duncan,” she replied. Probably not the best time to bring that up. His gaze narrowed and he glanced away for a moment, his jaw tight.
“I want this, please.”
“You tell me if I do anything you don’t like or that scares you,” he ordered.
“I will.”
She gazed down on his hard erection. His stomach was chiseled, his legs strong and thick with muscle.
Licking her lips, she sat beside him. Reaching out, she grasped his cock, loving the silken feel of him.
“Baby, that feels good. But I want you so badly that if you keep doing that I’m going to come way too quickly.” He plucked her hand off him, pulling her down so she lay on her back.
He nibbled on her neck, making his way down her body. He sucked on her nipples until they were hard, distended nubs. Laken moved restlessly, her thighs moving against one another and she pushed his head down further.
He quickly stripped her off her panties before settling himself between her legs, keeping them wide apart as he drew her pussy lips apart and just stared at her.
“Duncan, please.” She couldn’t take it. She needed to come. Badly.
Leaning in, Duncan took a long, savoring lick. Pleasure raced through her and she thrashed her head back and forth as he played with her. Two fingers were pushed slowly inside her as he licked at her clit until she fell into a blissful whirl of release.
Duncan moved up beside her, holding her close as she shuddered through the most amazing orgasm she’d had in years. Reaching up, she drew him down for a kiss.
“Thank you.”
He smiled at her. “You’re welcome.”
She ran her hand over his shoulders, before leaning in to bite his nipples softly. “Now, what can we do about this?” She ran her hand lightly up his cock.
Duncan swore he almost embarrassed himself right then and there.
“Are you sure?” he asked her. “We don’t have to do anything more tonight.”
And he meant every word. Just having her naked in his arms, being able to bring her to pleasure was enough for him. Oh, he wanted more. Hell, who wouldn’t? But he wouldn’t push her to move too fast.
Since she had panicked and told him about the attack, he’d been feeling extremely protective of her, more so than usual. He’d also been dealing with a hell of a lot of guilt. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her further.
“I damn well want more,” she told him, rolling on top of him. He allowed her to take charge, no matter how much that went against who he was.
Laken moved down his body, kissing him, swirling her tongue around his nipples until she reached his cock. He groaned as he desperately held onto his control. Her mouth was like moist velvet, sucking him in.
Gently, he pulled her off him. “No more, sugar, please have mercy.”
She grinned.
“Let me grab a condom from my wallet.”
Reaching over, he grabbed his jeans, pulling out his wallet and grabbing the condom. She took it from him, and pushing him onto his back once more, she slid the condom over his hard shaft.
“Ride me, baby,” he told her, helping her straddle him, then guiding his cock inside her.
Heaven. He rocked up as she rested her hands on his chest, thrusting down. It didn’t take long until he was shaking with the need to come. He placed his thumb over her clit, flicking gently.
“Come with me, baby. Come now.”
He waited until she flew over the edge before following close behind.
Duncan moved around the kitchen quietly, trying desperately not to wake Laken. She was getting some much needed sleep, but his rumbling stomach had been keeping him awake. So he carefully left the bed and crept into the kitchen in search of food.
He searched through the cupboards and frowned when all he found was some peanut butter and bread. The fridge didn’t hold much more, just some cheese, milk and eggs.
Laken didn’t cook much, but the cupboards were sparse even for her. He wasn’t sure if the now-cold chicken would be okay to eat, so he set that in the fridge just in case. He then pulled out a plate, spooned up some mashed potatoes and roasted veggies, and heated them in the microwave.
He knew she didn’t have much money after opening her shop, but he hadn’t realized that she was literally living on just bread and cheese.
He settled down on the sofa, wincing as it creaked. He made a mental note to look at getting her a new bed, a bigger one. Maybe a TV, too. He’d need one if he was going to be spending more time here.
Of course, he could just bring her over to his place. He liked the idea of Laken in his bed, under his roof.
But she probably felt safer here, in her own place. He would do a lot to make Laken feel safe and happy.
Because he had never stopped loving her.
***
Laken blew out a breath in frustration. It was close to a week since she’d confessed about her attack and Duncan had spent nearly every night at her place, in her bed. He held her, touched her, kissed her. In fact he’d shown her more affection in the last week than in the year they had dated.
Each time they made love it was amazing. She was always left satisfied, but there was something missing. He was holding back.
Was he worried about hurting her? She knew he blamed himself; she saw it in his gaze when she caught him looking at her.
Laken rose and pulled on a robe before walking into the kitchen, puzzling over how to help Duncan get over his guilt.
She didn’t want to be that woman who was afraid of her own shadow. She didn’t want that asshole to win any longer. It was time to take back the things she loved.
Including submitting to Duncan.
Only he wasn’t cooperating. Every time she tried to bring up taking things to the next level, he balked. He wouldn’t take control of their sex life, he wouldn’t tie her up, and he definitely refused to take her to the club. His standard excuse: she needed more time.
Well, she’d had three fucking years.
Sure, she was worried about panicking again, but she was willing to try. She just had to convince Duncan to do the same.
She stomped around the kitchen, opening cupboards now filled with food. Every time he came around, he seemed to bring a bag of groceries.
“Someone needs a cup of coffee,” Duncan remarked calmly as he walked into the kitchen.
He reached for her cup, filling it with coffee.
“I can make my own damn coffee.” She grabbed for it, causing the hot coffee to spill onto her hand. She hissed.
Duncan’s gaze narrowed but he didn’t say anything. He reached for her hand, drawing her over to the sink. Running the water, he placed her hand beneath it, still holding on to her.
“It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt,” she told him, trying to tug her hand back.
“Stay still and let me take care of you.”
She stilled at the note of need in his voice. Sighing, she stood there until he turned off the tap.
“Duncan,” she began, but he just shook his head. He pointed at a barstool.
“Sit. I will make you another cup of coffee.”
“You don’t have to do that. I’m behaving like a brat.”
“Yes, you are. Question is, why?”
She bit her lip.
“Are you trying to get a reaction from me? Spit it out.”
She took a deep breath. Spit it out? Really? Couldn’t he just read the signals? No, was so busy tiptoeing around her that he couldn’t see what she really needed. She grabbed the cup he had placed in front of her. Perfectly made as always.
Here he was taking care of her and she was acting like a brat.
“Something bad happened to me, Duncan, and for so long I’ve let it rule my life. I shut out everyone. I threw myself into my work and I dated a jerk so I didn’t risk falling in love. I’ve talked through what happened to death. I had therapy. I know my issues. I know I still have triggers. But I miss parts of what we used to have. I miss having you take charge. The question is, are you prepared to help me?”
Duncan drew in a sharp breath as he flipped the eggs he’d put on to fry. He turned to stare at Laken, ignoring the toaster as it popped.
“Baby, I will always help you. But I don’t want to do anything to scare you.” He’d chop off his hands before harming her. He owed her so much; he just didn’t want to do anything to make her fear him.
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