The women went quiet once again.
“Don’t stop now,” DJ broke the moment of silence, “what happened?”
Fee heaved a sigh. “Trey left to get me some wine. I got into the hot tub … totally naked. The hot water eased some of my tenseness. I was so ready for more kissing and whatever … then he brought back the drinks, got into the tub, and cuddled me. He’s a great cuddler.”
The women all sighed.
“Was he naked?” Carmela asked with a gleam in her dark eyes.
“Mamá!” Pia warned.
“No,” Fee said. “He kept his boxers on. Not the loose kind, but, you know, the kind that cling.”
Every single woman nodded.
“But how big was his sex?” Carmela asked.
Pia gasped. The other ladies laughed as her friend turned even redder with embarrassment over her mother’s questions.
“Big.” Fee’s pussy dampened as she recalled the bulge outlined by the cotton knit fabric.
“Man, I’d give a lot of money to see Trey mostly naked,” Keely muttered. When everyone looked at her as if she were crazy, the little blonde shrugged. “Purely scientific interest here. My hubby is a god. So, I’d like to see if the Maddox genes bred true.”
DJ snorted. “Scientific interest, my ass. Now, I’ve trained with both men, and from my casual observations, I’d say they both are hung like bulls.”
Keely punched DJ in the arm. “Why are you staring at my husband’s and Trey’s junk? You hussy, you’re married to my brother.”
“I’m married, not dead.” DJ grinned. “Oh, and yes, Carmela, my Ace is hung like a bull, too. From what I can gather—again from casual observation—all the SSI male operatives are well-equipped. Must be all that alpha-male testosterone.”
“Frick-fracking hell,” Keely muttered. “You are evil, DJ. Now, I’ll be checking out all the SSI operatives’ crotches.”
Fee laughed, because she could see Keely doing exactly that. Damn, she was extremely fortunate to have such a fun and sympathetic group of women with whom to discuss personal issues.
“Enough with the men’s cocks. Continue, Fee,” Elana urged. “I’m getting the idea you didn’t get laid last night at all. So what happened?”
Fee’s laughter died as quickly as it had come. “I fell asleep in the hot tub.”
A chorus of moans met her revelation.
Her breath stuttered and she sniffled as tears of remembrance threatened to spill down her face. “When I woke up this morning, I was in his bed. Naked. Alone. He was gone. No note. Nothing. So I left. And here I am.” She looked at her lap. “I’m such a loser.”
“No, you’re not,” Tara said.
“Why not?” Fee turned toward Tara.
“Let’s back up a bit,” suggested Tara. “In the past you were stalked and raped. Your Trey, I assume, is aware of this?”
“He is,” said Fee.
Tara nodded. “You just shared he’s been considerate—moving slowly with you, treating you carefully—right?”
“Yeah. He visited me in New Mexico for over nine months,” Fee said.
Tara whistled. “Okay, now that’s a real man. He knows what he wants. Realizes you needed both time and space. So he patiently sets about getting what he wants while having a care for you. They don’t make too many like him.”
“They do at SSI,” Elana put in. “I think no one gets into the group if they don’t have those qualities.”
Keely and DJ nodded. Pia sighed and looked as if she were missing Levi, who was still in New Mexico, and had similar attributes.
Carmela muttered, “Just like my Manny.”
“Good to know,” Tara said, interest flashing in her eyes. “Fee, from what happened or didn’t happen last night, my first thought follows along the line of what Keely has said—he’s continuing to take care of you. Being the sort of man he is, there’s no way he’d take advantage of an unconscious woman. Brownie points for him. And the fact he wasn’t there this morning tells me he got called away. Probably hadn’t planned on being gone long, or he would’ve left a note or something.—Does that sound like Trey?”
Tara addressed the last question to the table at large.
“It does,” Keely said, “and that was what actually happened. Trey went out on an intruder alert call with my hubby Ren. There was a breach on Sanctuary’s eastern border. The investigation took longer than expected, because the intruders killed a bear and then escaped into the national forest lands. Ren and Trey tracked the frick-fracking bear killers, found where the bastards were squatting. They also found drugs, so they called in the park rangers and turned the case over to them.”
Tara nodded. “I backed up the rangers who first responded. Didn’t hear your men’s names, but had heard SSI had called in the incident.”
“Okay, so, you think I’m overreacting,” Fee concluded.
“Yeah,” Tara said. “I bet he was disappointed you weren’t still in his bed when he finally got home.”
Fee winced. Now she felt bad for leaving. What must he think of her?
Tara cut into Fee’s morose thoughts. “But what I don’t understand is—why you’re so reluctant to ask for what you want from him? Why resort to visual clues and not just use your words? I can see you being hesitant after having been stalked and raped, but Trey doesn’t sound like the fucker who hurt you, or you wouldn’t have stripped in front of him.” She held up a hand before Fee could respond. “And if I’m getting too personal, just tell me to shut up—but I’m not seeing the problem here. You’ve got a good man who’s shown he’s patient and cares about you, you should be jumping all over that.”
“Exactly what I’ve been telling her for months.” Pia raised her glass of iced tea in a toast to Tara.
So far sharing with the gals had been fairly painless. But could she go even farther and share what she perceived as her sexual inadequacies?
Gut it up. This is a friendly, non-judgmental audience. Tell them.
Fee picked up her glass and took another couple of bracing sips. Everyone stared at her. Patience and sympathy hung heavy in the atmosphere.
Yeah, she’d share. Maybe they could help.
Fee put the glass down with a definitive thunk. “The problem isn’t Trey. It’s me. My past sexual experiences have been pathetic.”
“How?” Tara asked.
Hesitating, Fee bit her lip.
“God, Fee, just tell them,” Pia said, exasperation in her voice. “I’m betting all of these gals have had crappy lovers.”
Energetic nods bobbed around the booth.
Fee huffed out a breath. “When I asked for certain … things … sexual things … to help me get aroused … some of my previous lovers got mad.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “They fucked me and left, leaving me hanging.”
“Frick-fracking pecker-headed douches,” muttered Keely.
Fee snickered at Keely’s colorful epithets. “There were others who got off and tried to get me off, but I couldn’t respond quickly enough … so they gave up and found reasons to leave.”
“Selfish assholes,” Elana said.
The other women murmured their agreement.
Heartened by the support, Fee continued, “Later, I heard rumors.” Her breath hitched and tears welled in her eyes. “They ran the gamut from me being a ball-buster to a frigid bitch.”
“Fuckers,” DJ muttered. “You do know the problems were theirs, right?”
“That’s what I told her,” muttered Pia.
Fee shrugged. “At first, I told myself that. But the disappointing sexual encounters continued to occur. I began to think I lacked something. Eventually, I just stopped dating. Then I was raped.”
Somber silence settled over the table. Nothing like spoiling what had been a fun day of shopping. Fee sighed. “Hey…”
Tara held up a hand, halting Fee’s words. “Okay. Let’s put this in perspective … your previous lovers were self-centered, stupid, little boys. Now, you’ve found a real
man, an alpha-male from what I’m gathering from the previous conversation. And you’re afraid if you tell him what you need from him to get aroused and reach your pleasure, he’ll get mad at you and call you a bitch?”
“Basically,” Fee said.
“That’s bullshit.” Tara smiled, taking the edge off her blunt statement. “In my experience, strong men want their women to tell them what they desire sexually. It fulfills their primal instincts to provide and care for all their woman’s needs.”
“What she said,” DJ pointed to Tara. “If you don’t get off, it’s on your man for not listening to you and paying attention to your body’s cues. I didn’t think I could have a normal sex life either until Ace became my lover. He’s so into me and what I need that, oh lordy, he makes my panties melt and gives me good loving each and every day.”
Keely punched DJ’s arm. “What didn’t you understand about me not wanting to hear about my brother and his sex life?”
DJ grinned at Keely. “This reticence from the woman who walked through the Lodge’s great room and asked Scotty about locating a zucchini squash—as he tells it—which would approximate the size of Ren’s erect dick.” DJ turned to Fee. “This was so she could bait Ren into taking her virginity. You have no shame, Keely Walsh-Maddox, so shut it.”
Keely giggled. “God, the look on Ren’s face when he ran into the Lodge, half-dressed and his jeans not all the way zipped. But my plan worked. I lost my cherry to Ren and not a cold veggie … oh, wait, squash has seeds inside, so it’s a fruit.” She looked at Fee. “Whatever it is, Scotty has a nice selection of zucchinis in the fridge. We could probably find one Trey’s size. I’ll help you pick it out.”
Fee shook her head, a smile on her face. “Um, I’m thinking you just want to compare it to one Ren’s size.”
“Yup.” Keely laughed and turned to see Nick approaching with their food. “Good. Time to eat. All this talk of sex makes me hungry.”
Nick turned brick red. “Keely, do I have to tell your husband you’re talking about his cock again in my diner?”
“Nope.” Keely snagged a sweet potato fry. “I’ll tell him.” She winked. “The story should be good for a fun spanking and then maybe three to four orgasms. A total win for me.”
The ladies laughed as Nick swore under his breath and turned even redder, if it were possible. Fee snickered.
After Nick left, they all concentrated on eating.
While Fee ate, she ruminated on all that had been said. “So, bottom line, I should try again.”
“Yeah,” Keely said. “This time start off by talking about your fears. Give him a short, sanitized version of the past dating fiascos. He already knows about Adam-frick-fracking-Stall, and that’s one of the main reasons he’s been so patient. If you need him to take the lead until you are more comfortable with him and can ask for sex when you need it, then tell him that also. But I’ll bet you anything that you two will find that level of sexual communication from the beginning, because even while laboring in a cave to give birth to Riley and then afterwards, I sensed the chemistry between the two of you.”
“Laboring in a cave?” Tara asked and looked between Fee and Keely.
Fee would’ve explained, but her phone rang. “Hold that question. Got to take this. I’m not on call, but there could be a big emergency and the ER might need me.”
She looked at the unknown number. A pang of fear tore through her, then she got mad. She’d ditched her other phone and had gotten a new number with a new phone provider when she’d moved to Idaho. How had the asshole found her number?
“Shit, shit, shit.” Fee swore. “Unknown number … again.”
“Give it to me.” Keely wiggled her fingers.
Tara frowned and reached for Fee’s phone just as Fee answered it.
Fee didn’t hold back. She put every ounce of rage, frustration, and, yeah, fear into her voice. “Dr. Teague. Who is this?”
“Fee?” Keely reached for the phone. “Gimme the frick-fracking phone.”
Fee shook her head.
There was no answer. Just harsh breathing.
“Fuck this.” Fee put it on speaker. “Hello, you mother-fucker. Why do you keep calling me?”
The heavy breathing sped up. Then a snarl like that of a wild animal split the air.
The stunned silence at the table was only broken by the sounds of harsh breathing mixed with crazed growls coming over the phone.
God, he’d gone over the edge from sociopath to a raving psychopath.
“Answer me, you coward,” Fee shouted into the phone.
“I’m coming for you, bitch.” Then Adam-fucking-Stall disconnected and the dial tone sounded.
“Frick-fracking hell.” Keely leaned over the table. “Gimme that phone. I can try to track the call. How long has this been frick-fracking happening? And don’t lie.”
Whoa, this was the bad-ass Keely who’d outmaneuvered the mercenaries all those months ago.
Fee handed over her cell with a shaky hand. “Off and on since right after I moved to New Mexico. He started by calling and hanging up or leaving a voice mail with only silence and a hang-up. He used a lot of different numbers. I reported them to my cell phone provider. They said the calls came from throw-away phones bought all over the U.S. I changed my number and the calls stopped for a while. They started again a few months before I left New Mexico. I got rid of that phone and signed up with a new phone provider and number when I came to Idaho.”
“So, the calls aren’t connected to that cartel business,” DJ said.
“Cartel business?” Tara asked.
“Another story for another time,” DJ said. “So this is someone stalking you.”
“Her rapist-stalker, Adam-frick-fracking-Stall,” Keely said as she tap-typed on her phone’s screen, doing something Fee probably wouldn’t understand.
“Yeah, I always figured it was Stall, and his voice just now proved it,” Fee said. “But why? He won. No one believed me. I left. And how is he getting my numbers? Each time I change it, he has it within a few days or so. Thank God, he doesn’t know where I live.”
“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but he probably does have your address since he is getting your numbers from somewhere that either had your billing address or,” Keely paused and then swore, “frick-fracking hell. He’s probably getting your info off your medical student loan repayment service. It’s a Federal program. They have databases and shitty security. Even if he couldn’t hack it himself, he could pay the worst hacker in the world to get into the one that has your data. The loan site is not the Pentagon or NSA.”
Keely held up another phone. “I’ll give you my satphone to use until we can get you your own secure satphone that works over the NSA satellite SSI uses. Stall won’t get that number. You can use SSI’s corporate phone number and PO Box for your loan site. I want to keep your phone so when the frick-fracking douche calls again, Tweetie and I can more easily track his ass. Why have NSA-clearance and not use it for the family of SSI operatives, right?”
“But…”
“No, buts.” Keely got a steely look in her eye. “You’re Price’s sister, and I’m betting my brother-in-law has plans to keep you, so you’re part of the SSI family. We protect our own.”
Keely’s actions only proved what Fee had suspected—SSI women were as alpha and over-protective as their men.
Tara nodded. “Fee, I think you should let Keely do her thing. Psychopaths once they get on target tend to stay there. At least you live on Sanctuary and from what I’ve seen that place is a fortress.”
“I don’t … live on Sanctuary, that is.” Fee shook her head. “I live over my clinic, just outside Elk City.”
“Jesus, Fee,” Tara said. “I know that building. It isn’t safe. We’ve got survivalists and meth cookers hiding in the forests around Elk City. A single woman needs a more secure place to sleep at night.”
“She turned down a guest suite at the Lodge on Sanctuary,” Pia tattled.
; Fee frowned at her friend. “I needed to be near the clinic while I got it up and running.”
“It’s up. It’s running. I’m living in the Lodge,” Pia said. “We can ride to the clinic and back together. In fact, the hour drive each way will be more fun with company.”
Fee took in all the concerned glances. “Okay, I’ll take Keely and Ren up on their offer for a suite of rooms in the Lodge … if the offer is still open.”
“It is.” Keely laughed. “Plus you’ll be closer and can get to know Trey better.”
“I’d like to get to know him better,” Fee said. Lots better.
“Yeah, I figured. Just a warning … Trey wants you to move into his place,” Keely said. “Trust me on that. I sort of overheard Trey tell Ren that when he yelled at my hubby for dragging him out of bed and away from you.” She paused. “Why don’t you pack up and move into the Lodge this evening? Then we’ll see how long you stay there.”
DJ grinned. “I bet she’ll be moving in with Trey as soon as she hits Sanctuary with her stuff.”
Elana sniffed. “I’m not taking that bet since I know you’re probably correct.” She turned to Tara. “SSI men don’t mess around when their women’s safety is concerned.”
“I gathered that,” Tara said. “I look forward to meeting some SSI men.” She winked. “I am totally single and available. Just saying.”
As the ladies laughed and chatted with Tara about the SSI operatives who were eligible and looking, Fee realized she wasn’t freaked about the idea of moving in with Trey. If he insisted, she wouldn’t fight him on it.
Because it feels right.
Yeah, it did. More right than anything in a long time.
CHAPTER 17
Fee’s Elk City apartment
“You don’t need to help me load my car,” Fee told Tara who followed her up the outside staircase and into her apartment.
Keely and the other gals had argued about the most efficient way to get Fee back to Elk City so she could pack her things and move into the suite at the Lodge today. Fee had argued she could spend the rest of the weekend at the Lodge as planned and then ride into work on Monday with Pia. After the end of her Monday clinic hours was soon enough to pack and make the more permanent move to Sanctuary.
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