by Eva Haining
Holy fuck.
“I can’t do this. I… I have a boyfriend.” Her words come out in a strangled plea, her breath ragged, and she struggles for composure.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m drunk.” Suddenly, I’m sober as a judge, and there’s an unfamiliar ache in my chest. “Can we forget this? I probably won’t even remember it in the morning.” I can’t tear my gaze from her kiss-swollen lips.
“It’s already forgotten. I have to go.” She takes off before I can say another word, and I’m left standing alone in the moonlight watching as she disappears into the darkness wondering what the hell just happened. I fumble with the lock, still too drunk to coordinate the key without massive concentration. When I finally make it inside, I don’t even attempt to find my way to the bedroom, instead opting for the couch.
My heart is pounding, the taste of Maisie still fresh on my lips.
What was I thinking?
Letting the darkness pull me under, the room spins in time with my thoughts. The last thing I need right now is to get tangled up with a co-star. It’s the one rule I can’t break. I won’t.
Chapter Ten
MAISIE
I’m dreading going on set today. It’s been two days since I kissed him, two days of overwhelming guilt. I made up some lame excuse not to hang out with Thomas this weekend, unable to face him after letting J.J. kiss me. I may not have initiated it, but it took me longer than it should’ve to stop it.
He had the excuse of being drunk out of his mind. For all I know, he doesn’t even remember what happened. What’s my excuse? I had a couple of beers, not even enough to get a decent buzz. I’ve been judging him for being a cheating asshole since the day he rocked into town, and it turns out none of that’s true. I’m the one who betrayed Thomas’ trust when I let my tongue drift into J.J.’s mouth, reveling in the way he makes every nerve ending in my body come to life.
I hate myself for it.
Sitting in hair and makeup, I try to focus on the scene we’re rehearsing today. Thankfully, it doesn’t require any kissing. I’ve managed to be completely unprofessional before we actually shoot our first scene. If there were ever a sign that I’m not ready for the big leagues, this is it.
It’s not until I step on set that I see J.J. surrounded by crew members, his brow furrowed deep in concentration. My stomach drops into my boots. What do I say? Do I mention it or let it lie?
His assistant alerts him to the fact that I’m here, and as his eyes find mine, it’s like a punch to the gut. He remembers. It’s written all over his face. Not the smug, bad boy I thought him to be. With an almost imperceptible smile, he can’t hold my gaze, and I feel so low I couldn’t jump off a dime.
There are so many people around, I don’t get a chance to talk to him or clear the air. It’s a stark lesson in professionalism. His, not mine. There’s a reason he’s so successful. His work ethic is admirable. We run the same scene over and over, taking direction from both Jack and Hazel.
It’s clear from the way they interact, J.J. and Hazel know each other well. I shouldn’t be surprised. I may have been wrong about him cheating on his ex, but I saw the picture of him kissing Hazel with my own eyes. A second wave of guilt washes over me. Does she know what happened the other night?
Throwing myself into the work, I manage to quiet the storm inside me for a few hours becoming Anna. She’s a complex character. Conflicted about finding love after the loss of her husband. Focusing on her allows me to ignore my own problems.
When we break for the day, a sea of crew members swarms the set to get ready for tomorrow. As I head toward my trailer, I’m overwhelmed by how surreal my life feels in this moment. There, on the door, is my name in big letters. Taking in the sights and sounds that surround me, I’m truly stunned that I’m here starring alongside J.J. Savage.
As if he hears my thoughts, J.J. appears at my side, his hand resting on my arm.
“Can we talk for a minute?” My skin is on fire. I keep moving, willing myself up the steps to the safety of my trailer.
“What’s up?” Maybe if I play dumb, this conversation won’t happen.
“Would you mind if I come inside, just for a minute? I’ll make it quick.” Being alone in a confined space with him doesn’t seem like the smartest idea, but I don’t particularly want anyone else to hear whatever it is he has to say.
“Sure.” As the door clicks shut behind us, the hairs on the back on my neck stand up, hyperaware of his proximity.
“Maisie, I’m so sorry about the other night. I shouldn’t have kissed you.” At the mere utterance, my brain floods with the memory of the sweet taste of whiskey on his tongue.
“I wasn’t sure you’d even remember.”
“I couldn’t forget even if I tried.” Sliding his hand through his hair with his gaze to the floor, he looks different. “I never meant to make this harder on you. I’ve been a dick, but if you give me a chance, I’d like to make up for it.”
“What about Hazel?” His eyes snap to mine.
“What about her?”
“Aren’t you two… together?”
“The kiss in the paper. To answer your question bluntly, no. She’s been my best friend since we were kids. We’ve never been a thing, we’re never going to be a thing.”
“Oh.”
“But that doesn’t matter. You have a boyfriend, right?” The question in his voice catches me off-guard.
“Right. I… Thomas is a nice guy.”
“But he doesn’t get your blood pumping.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“We’ve not been dating that long.”
“I didn’t mean to pry. It’s none of my business. It’s just…”
“Just what?” Why do I care what he has to say? Thomas is everything I should want in a guy.
“I was drunk, not comatose. A woman who kisses the way you do is never going to be happy with a guy who doesn’t make your heart hammer in your chest, and your pulse race so hard it renders you deaf.” Jesus, take the wheel.
“J.J.”
“I won’t mention it again. I just wanted to apologize. I didn’t come in here to lecture you on passion in a relationship. Can we be friends? It would make the next few months a whole lot more pleasant.”
“I’d… like that.”
“Well, okay, then. I’ll get out of your hair and leave you to your evening.” Opening the door, he glances back over his shoulder, his smile bright. “Night, Maisie.”
“Good night, J.J.” As the door closes behind him, my heart sinks as I slump down in my makeup chair. He’s right. Deep down, I know Thomas and I aren’t going to work, and the other night just confirmed it. If I were serious about him, I wouldn’t have let J.J. kiss me. I wouldn’t have liked it. Grabbing my phone, I tap out a quick message.
Me: We need to talk.
Thomas: I’m at the bar. Want to join me?
Me: I’ll be there in a half hour.
Thomas: Great! X
I’m relieved I can meet him in public and have a tough conversation in a quiet corner. If he came to my place or I went to his, this would be so much harder. I want to feel the spark with him. He’s amazing, and sexy, and smart, and there’s zip going on when his lips press to mine. And yet, here I’m having all kinds of fireworks in my pants over a guy I don’t even like. How many times will I need to say it until my brain catches up—it’s all fake.
Except that one kiss, that one wrong panty-melting kiss, it was very real.
I drag my heels getting changed and removing the ten layers of makeup that were applied to my face today, delaying the inevitable.
By the time I find myself standing outside the bar, my nerves are shot. Breakups have never been my strong suit. I’m the first to admit I’ve stayed with boyfriends long after the expiration date on the relationship. And, this is a first for me. I’ve never kissed another guy while dating before. I don’t know how I let it happen.
The door swings open as patrons head home
for the evening, and I spy Thomas at the bar, laughing and joking with my boss, Kirby. He catches my eye, and I can’t avoid going inside any longer.
Kirby and I have spent many long nights behind the bar. He owns this place, and he knows me better than most. The second we lock eyes, he’s mouthing ‘what’s wrong’ at me. With a small shake of my head, an entire conversation occurs. He looks at Thomas before grabbing a bottle of Crown and grabbing me a glass. Without asking, he tops up Thomas’ drink, anticipating he’s going to need it. My face must say it all.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Mais! How was your first big day on set?” Thomas wraps his arms around my waist, leaning in to kiss me. I’m going to miss the comforting scent of his cologne, the same one he’s worn since junior high. It reminds me of butterflies from that first high school crush, butterflies that haven’t taken flight in the time we’ve been dating.
“It was great. Can we go sit at a table?”
“Sure.” With his hand on the small of my back, he guides us to an empty booth in the corner.
Sliding into the dark wood paneling on the musty old velvet seat, I take a gulp of my drink for courage.
“Thomas…” Reaching over the table, he takes my hands in his, tracing circles around the freckle on my left hand with his thumb.
“God, I can’t believe you’re going to be on cinema screens all over the country soon. The world.” I pull my hands from his, steeling myself for what I’m about to do.
“Thomas. You’re a great guy.” The opening line of any breakup, it’s not original, but it is true. His body stiffens, his eyes imploring me not to continue. “But I think we should just be friends.”
“What changed? I thought it was going well.”
“My life is just so crazy right now. I don’t know which way is up.”
“So, let me be your calm in the storm.”
“I don’t deserve you.” I can’t even bring myself to tell him how true this statement is. “I need to focus on my career right now.” His gaze darkens.
“So, now that you’re going to be a big star, you can’t be dating a small-town guy? I thought you were better than that. Day one, and you’re already letting it change you.” He throws back his drink before sliding out of the booth.
“Thomas, wait. That’s not what I meant.” I grab his wrist, attempting to keep him long enough to explain. He stares me down, the hurt evident in the furrow of his brow.
“Does it matter what you meant? It’s still over… right?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to lose you. We’ve been friends our whole lives.”
“Right now, I don’t much want to be your friend, Maisie. I thought we had something. Guess I was wrong.” He breaks free of my grasp and heads for the door without looking back.
Kirby wanders over with a refill.
“You look like you could use this.” I down the last of my drink and grab the new one.
“Keep ‘em coming.” With a tight nod, he leaves me to my pity party.
I should’ve stopped at two. Five drinks later, Kirby poured me into a cab last night. I was mildly pissed at the time when he cut me off, but I’m eternally grateful right now as I nurse a hangover headache.
Looking in the mirror, you wouldn’t know I had a rough night. With my hair and makeup immaculate, I’ve never looked better in my life. The stylists are miracle workers. Thankfully, today is more riding than dialogue. As I step out into the bright morning sun, my head is pounding.
My sweet Jessabelle is going to be on the big screen with me. Jax has her saddled and ready, groomed to perfection.
“You okay, Mais?” He knows me too well.
“I’m good. Any news on A.B. yet?” Even amid a Hollywood production, Kingsbury Falls is buzzing with the anticipation of a new Hale family member making an appearance. If anything, the residents of our sleepy little town are more excited about A.B. having this baby.
“Nope. She’s miserable. I told Mad to leave the ranch to me today and keep her company.”
“Good call. Let me know when you hear something.”
“Will do, but you have other priorities right now. I’m so fucking proud of you, girl.” Jax always makes me feel better, even when he doesn’t know I need it. “Now, I’ll leave you to get into character, or whatever it is you do. I need to go and get pretty boy organized.”
“You got Bulldozer saddled and ready for him?” I can’t get the words out without laughing, and I’m rewarded with a hearty chuckle from Jax.
“As much as I’d love to see him trying to ride Bull again, he requested, and I quote, the most docile horse possible. I think he’s worried you’re going to show him up today.” With a sly grin and a playful wink, he leaves me with my beautiful girl. Running my hand down her neck, I whisper sweet nothings to my trusted friend. My nerves calm, and I feel more like myself than I have since this whirlwind began—just a hometown girl and her horse.
The camera crew wants to get some footage of us around the ranch on horseback. It’s going to take six outfit changes, four locations, and a partridge in a pear tree. I’ve only got two scenes with J.J. today, but they are first on the call sheet. Leading Jessabelle at a leisurely trot, we wind our way through the crowd and out into the north field.
There he sits, on Brownie, and I can’t stifle my laughter. As it echoes out into the fresh morning air, J.J.’s gaze finds mine. I’m assuming by the puzzled look on his face that Jax didn’t tell him about his horse, and I’m still chuckling as I stop at his side.
“What’s got you so happy this morning? Anticipating having to save my sorry ass again?”
“You’ll be fine. I’m sure of it.” I lean in, stroking his horse’s chestnut mane. “Isn’t that right, Brownie?”
“Okay, not as manly as Bulldozer, but he’ll look great on camera.”
“She will look fabulous. And, you know this will make Rae’s year.”
“Why?”
“Didn’t Jax tell you? Brownie is Rae’s horse. She’s had her since she was Ruby’s age. And, FYI, she was a better rider than you even when she was knee-high to a grasshopper.”
“So, the line he fed me about this guy being a tough one to break?”
“Was a load of bullcrap.”
“Well, at least I’m going to make Rae happy.” With a wide grin, he pulls his phone from his pocket and snaps a goofy selfie with Brownie. “I’ll take that over another death ride with Bull.” He shoots me a wry grin, knowing I saved his ass that day.
“Come on, cowboy. I’ll go easy on you this time.”
We get through our scenes, but not without a problem. My solo rides were straight forward, but my biggest struggle with J.J. was trying to keep Jessabelle from outrunning Brownie. Belle is swift, and she loves a challenge. You can slow a horse, but it can’t look like I’m visibly tugging her reins to hold her back. My character was supposed to be chasing J.J., but Belle kept catching up in two seconds flat, and I had to have Maddox come on set and teach me a few tricks.
I was pleasantly surprised by how well J.J. was riding, even if it was on a little girl’s horse!
It hasn’t felt like work. Riding all over the ranch is a perfect way to spend a day for me, and getting to do it in pursuit of a budding new career is beyond amazing. I’m happy as a clam at high tide.
By the time I crawl into bed, it’s eleven, and I need to be back on the ranch in seven hours. It’s a different kind of exhausted than I’m used to. I’ve worked the bar until closing and then opened the diner multiple days in a row. I’m no stranger to hard work, but this is mentally taxing.
The upside is that for a few hours today, I didn’t think about Thomas or the fact that I broke up with him without owning my indiscretion. But, would it make it any easier on him, or would I cause him more pain to ease my conscience? I just hope he finds a way to forgive me, that one day we can go back to being friends.
Hopefully, I can find a way to work with J.J. without wanting to punch him or kiss him. My dreams become a ma
sh-up of awkward moments—Thomas wrapping his arms around me, his lips finding mine in an impassioned plea, but every time I pull back, it’s J.J.’s face I see.
Chapter Eleven
JASPER
Hazel is a genius.
I’ll be indebted to her until my dying breath for how amazing her input is on every aspect of the movie. And, she’ll remind me every chance she gets!
The past few days have been productive. The movie is shaping up nicely, and as much as I hate to admit it, Maisie is doing a phenomenal job. I’d never tell her—she’d never let me live it down. Soon, she’s going to be Hollywood’s newest darling. Thrust into the adoring arms of LA and all of the hometown charm that got her this part will be drummed out of her. It’s sort of sad.
The longer I spend out here in the boonies, the more I’m coming to appreciate the camaraderie. What I have with Hazel, these people have with entire groups of people. The downside is that there’s clearly zero privacy—everyone knows everyone else’s business. But, for someone like me who lives and dies in the public eye, it’s nothing new. What most would find disconcerting about small-town living is merely run of the mill for me.
I’m dreading today’s scene. It’s the one by the river that we used to audition Juniper and Maisie. I don’t relish the thought of having to commit to the same kind of physical contact. The past few days have been grittier, dialogue-fueled pages of script. The last time we ran this, I was overwhelmed by my traitorous, unwanted reaction to Maisie’s body, and we haven’t had to kiss since my drunken mistake of a pass at her.
When she emerges from her trailer, hair cascading down her back in soft waves, my stomach somersaults before dropping to the floor along with my jaw. Fuck, she looks amazing. She’s authentic, that’s for sure in those tight little shorts I give her so much flack for wearing, and a plaid shirt tied up in the front.
Realization dawns. I’m required to rip that material from her wet, shivering skin with the gusto of a man possessed, ravage her mouth with mine, and run my tongue down her neck until I find redemption in the swell of her breasts, all with a cast and crew watching.