by Arlene James
“And you,” he said resignedly, leaning in the door, “are an unrepentant slob.”
She laughed. “Too true. But does he complain? No, ma’am. He just picks up after me and quietly reorganizes my messes. I tell you, he’s every working wife’s dream. And people wonder why women find him so attractive!”
He groaned aloud, no longer even trying to derail her.
She ignored him and breezed out the door, saying, “Now this is the powder room, and this is the baby’s room. She has her own bath, not that it matters at this point, but back here...” She closed the door and went on, “Now this is where it gets really interesting. Darling, I think you were going to explain this part.” She beamed at him, knowing full well that he wanted to strangle her.
He narrowed his eyes at her and smoothly picked up the narrative, pushing aside the heavy plastic sheet that covered the opening to the new addition. “This, of course, was the back hall, but we’ve added a small suite and a pair of rooms. Through here we have a multipurpose room, den, playroom, library. The columns help break it up in usage areas but maintain the scale and openness of the great room. And off this end, closest to the playroom is where my new office will be. That, of course, will allow us to return the dining room to its original use and still keep me close to the baby when she’s playing. Then, on the other end, that’s a third bedroom with a small sitting area and another bath. This extension of the original building has another benefit, too. A short enclosed walkway with extra storage space will soon connect the house and the garage. That will make getting the baby in and out of the car a lot safer during difficult weather or late at night.”
Wanda Hatcher was appropriately impressed. She asked lots of little questions of no consequence, which Parker answered with his usual expertise. After that, Parker showed her a work in progress on his drawing board, getting much more technical and enthusiastic than he intended. While he was doing so, Kendra wandered into the kitchen and back. In a lull in the conversation, she interjected lightly, “Hon, have you fixed the hem on my striped skirt?”
Wanda Hatcher’s mouth dropped open. Parker gulped down a spurt of laughter and turned a scolding gaze on Kendra. “No,” he said laconically. “You know I’m no good at that sort of thing. I sent your skirt with the rest of the mending to the tailor.”
Kendra shrugged unconcernedly. “Just thought I’d ask.”
Parker turned to Ms. Hatcher apologetically. “I don’t sew at all—not even buttons.”
To his absolute consternation, the woman patted his arm and offered a sympathetic smile. “No matter,” she said. “No one’s perfect, my dear, and don’t worry. I won’t even bother to mention it in my report.”
He was in, just like that, officially approved as a parent by the state. He was astonished. She’d bought it, lock, stock and barrel. He stared at Kendra over the other woman’s head, was served up a saucy smile and a wink and promised her with his eyes both reward and retribution.
Thirty minutes and as many perfunctory questions later, Wanda Hatcher took her leave of them. Parker saw her to the door, closed it behind her and put his back to it. Kendra was standing in the middle of the room with Darla on her hip, grinning at him. He pointed a finger at her, but before he could get a word out, she pointed back at him and beat him to it.
“Now we’re even, Mr. Sugarman!”
“Even? How do you figure that? Ski slopes in Colorado don’t get such snow jobs!”
“And I suppose that was snow you were shoveling at my father’s on the day of our wedding, hmm?”
He stared at her, then clapped his hands together in laughter. “Okay, okay,” he said, strolling toward her, “so I was spreading a little fertilizer there.”
“And I was snowing today,” she admitted blithely. “But only a little.”
He sobered and smiled at her, his hands on his hips. “It wasn’t all lies, then or now.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“What happened changed both our lives.”
“Yes, and Darla’s, too.”
“Darla’s most of all,” he agreed, “but hopefully not for the worse.”
“I don’t think so,” Kendra said. “I think she’s lucky that she has you to love her.”
“I do love her,” he said, taking the baby into his arms. He smoothed down her hair, which had developed a tendency to stand on end of late, and hugged her. “I love this kid like I’ve never loved another human being in my life.”
“I know you do.”
“It’s funny,” he said. “I loved my brother. I mean, I always loved him, even when he was a pesky little brat and I was a worldly wise teenager. We didn’t fight like other siblings did. I honestly don’t remember that we had a single argument, and I never questioned that he loved me, too. It was just a given in my life, you know, and then it was gone. I guess I thought all the love in my life died when he and Candace did. I mean, I knew Darla was precious to me. I just didn’t know how much more she could mean. She was such a tiny thing then. She didn’t even seem like a whole person to me, and now... Now she’s one of the most important parts of my life.”
“I understand,” she said gently, her eyes sparkling gold and green. “I didn’t expect to get quite so attached to her myself. I’ve been taking care of other people’s sick kids for years now, and I thought this would be just like that, but it isn’t. It’s more, so much more.”
He hadn’t thought of that. He honestly hadn’t thought of the feelings Kendra might be developing for Darla. She had been loving with her from the very beginning, but then that was just Kendra. Kendra was a caring person, gentle and thoughtful with everyone; well, everyone but Kate Ridley, and he still hadn’t quite figured that out. More to the point, he hadn’t thought how difficult it might be for Kendra to leave Darla when it came time for them to part. Might that keep her with them? He knew without a doubt that he couldn’t leave Darla as his own father had left him and Nathan, no matter how much he might love another. Shamelessly, he used it.
“You’ll always be as much a part of Darla’s life as you want to be,” he said matter-of-factly. “Of course, once you leave, it’ll never be the same again. She won’t remember that we were all three together like this. We can tell her, but it won’t be the same, will it?”
He watched her swallow and shake her head. “No.”
“Still,” he went on, “you’ll always be special to her. No one else will ever replace you in her life, I’ll see to that—no matter what.”
The eyes she turned up at him were large with tears, and he could read her thoughts in them. What if he remarried one day? What then? Could he keep her place for her in Darla’s life then? For the first time since that night when he’d told her to lock her door, he willingly put an arm around her in a gesture not solely for public consumption and hugged her close, kissing her temple.
“It’s all right,” he said softly. “We’ll work it out. We’ll think of something. I promise.”
She nodded into the curve of his shoulder. “Sure we will,” she said, her voice bleak.
He closed his eyes, feeling the ache of desire never fulfilled, the swell of love he didn’t dare reveal, the fear of losing again one of the most important persons in his life. Desperately he searched for some way to lift the cloud. Finally it came to him.
“Hey, how’d you know Ms. Hatcher was in here? I mean, you walked in loaded for bear.”
She reared back her head and grinned up at him. “Derek told me.”
“Derek?”
“The carpenter’s assistant. He heard her say she was from the Department of Human Resources.”
Parker frowned. “And he met you at the car with that news?”
She lifted her brows. “He didn’t meet me at the car. We bumped into each other out in the yard.”
“And do you often bump into each other?”
She studied him for a moment, and he didn’t like it because he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “No,” she finally said. “Not often.
”
Not often, meaning they did occasionally meet and, presumably, talk. It seemed he would just have to have a private word with Derek, the carpenter’s assistant. By God, she was his wife, and until she wasn’t, no construction worker or any other man was going to be arranging meetings of any kind with her. Period. It was bad enough that he had to put up with Lawyer White hanging around like a lovesick puppy all the time. He’d be damned if he’d put up with anyone else. He disengaged himself and pushed the baby into her arms.
“I have to get dinner on,” he said glumly.
He didn’t see the smile that followed him from the room or the hopeful gleam that suddenly shone in green-gold eyes.
Chapter Eleven
“It’s your move,” Kendra said.
Parker started and scowled. “I know it’s my move!” he snapped. “You don’t have to tell me every time that it’s my move.”
“Pay attention to the game, and I won’t,” Kendra retorted.
“This game is boring as hell,” Parker said. “I can’t pay attention to something that puts me to sleep.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you were winning,” Kendra pointed out icily.
“If I wasn’t bored to death, I would be winning,” he shot back.
Edward sighed and tilted the game board so that all the playing pieces slid off onto the table. “What is it with you two?” he asked over their exclamations. “Every time I see you you’re going at it like cats and dogs. It’s getting old.”
“You’re telling me it’s getting old!” Parker said, thumping his chest. “You should try living with her. On second thought, the two of you would get along just fine, you’re both slobs.”
“I may be a little disorganized, Mr. Sugarman,” Kendra said coldly, “but at least that’s normal, which I cannot say for your obsession with neatness! Edward, how many people do you know who dust construction sites?”
“This construction site just happens to be my house!” Parker exclaimed, not allowing Edward time for response. “And if you call me Mr. Sugarman in that tone again, Mrs. Sugarman, you can damned well start fixing your own dinner.”
“At least I wouldn’t be eating lasagna three times a week!” she snapped.
“You love my lasagna!” he bellowed.
Kendra leapt up from her chair and slammed it against the table. “That’s right, Parker, wake up the baby again! It’s not your night to get up with her!”
“Oh, for God’s sake,” he shouted back, “if you want me to sleep with the baby tonight, why don’t you just say so and stop trying to make me feel guilty for something I haven’t even done!”
“Ooh!” Kendra shook a fist at him, then turned away from him to Edward. “Try to talk some sense into him, will you? Heaven knows I can’t!”
“Sense!” Edward said to her retreating back. “Sense?” He clamped both hands to his head and fell forward onto his elbows against the tabletop. “Trying to talk sense to either one of you is like trying to negotiate with the Mafia and the FBI. And to think I was afraid you were going to fall for one another! Sheesh!” He got up and stomped away, leaving the house without so much as a farewell.
Parker sat at the table and moved the game pieces about desultorily with a fingertip, then he swept the lot of them onto the floor and put his head into his hands. In the suddenly quiet house, he heard the faint click of a lock being set in place. That was the second time she’d locked him out in the past week, not that he’d tried to go to her. For a moment he considered kicking in the damned door, but he thought of Darla and stayed put. He always thought of Darla and stayed put, but he knew she was just the excuse that kept him from risking it all, just the excuse for taking the coward’s way out, and he hated himself a little more every time he used her that way, hated himself—and loved Kendra.
* * *
Parker sat up straight, linked his hands behind his head and pressed his elbows back, stretching the pectoral muscles. Kendra swallowed and looked away, trying not to notice the firm delineations of muscle on his bare chest. Why didn’t he put his shirt back on? Did he think she got some kind of charge from watching him work out with those free weights while dressed only in a pair of gym shorts, shoes and socks? She supposed that she could watch television in the bedroom, but since they’d furnished the multipurpose room and Parker had moved his drawing table and other gear in here, they’d practically been living in this one room. Besides, she was never quite comfortable in the master bedroom. That was his room, and she couldn’t quite seem to forget it even when she had it all to herself.
Darla moved in her lap, turning her little head side to side against Kendra’s breastbone. Kendra smiled and dropped a kiss on her crown. Darla abruptly threw herself sideways, forcing Kendra to catch her, and twisted onto her back, grinning. Her pink, toothless smile revealed bumps on the lower gum that were about to be teeth. Kendra laughed and lifted her for a hug. “So big!” she said, nuzzling a damp chin. “You’re getting so big!”
Darla grabbed handfuls of Kendra’s hair and gave her a wet, open-mouthed kiss on the forehead before twisting sideways again. Parker was doing sit-ups on the rug in front of the television and counting aloud. “One, two, three, four...” Darla took one look and decided it was great fun. She launched herself toward him, nearly propelling herself out of Kendra’s lap. She seemed to have no fear wahtsoever, certainly none of landing on her head on a hardwood floor.
“Whoa! You’re not just getting big, you’re getting hard to handle, too. Hold on here a minute. How about a game of patty-cake, hmm?”
Parker stopped counting and reached for her. “Let me have her,” he said. “We’ve done this together before.”
Kendra handed her over and watched as he sat Darla on his stomach, facing him, against his drawn-up knees. Linking his hands behind his head again, he lowered himself to the floor, then rose again, bringing his forehead to Darla’s. “One!” he said, and the baby laughed and clapped her hands together.
He did it again. “Two”
“Eeee!” Darla said, arching her back.
“Three!”
“Eeee!”
“Four!”
Darla just stared at him, eyebrows dancing, lips clamped together.
Parker laughed. “Four, scamp. Four!”
Apparently not feeling up to the challenge, Darla threw herself forward onto his chest, flopped over and rolled. He caught her and rolled with her onto his side, easing her onto her back on the floor.
“Your turn!” he declared and started counting. “One, two, three...”
She lifted her head slightly and kicked her feet, reaching for him with her pudgy hands. Parker laughed and grasped her two tiny hands in one of his.
“Okay, here we go.” He tugged her up. “One.” He let her down again and repeated the process. “Two.” She pivoted on her bottom and kicked out with both legs, babbling sounds. Laughing, he did it again. “Three.” He let her down and tugged her up once more and put his nose to hers. “Four.”
Darla shifted her head and “kissed” him on the nose. He laughed and collapsed onto his back, Darla at his side. She flopped over onto her tummy, pushed up onto her knees and began rocking back and forth, butting her head against his side. He lifted her so that she leaned against his chest. She turned her head and laid her cheek over his heart.
“She loves you so much,” Kendra said from the couch.
He smiled and stroked her head. “It’s very mutual,” he said, then he suddenly snatched the baby up to dangle her above him, making outrageous eyes at her. She wiggled her brows at him, and he lowered her to blow on her tummy. She giggled and wiggled her eyebrows to get him to do it again. He complied until she was gasping between belly laughs. Finally he got up and carried her to the couch.
“Playtime’s up, sunshine. Stay with Kendra so I can take a shower.” He plopped her down into Kendra’s lap, kissed her and automatically lifted his face to Kendra’s. Suddenly his mouth was an inch from hers, frozen on its way to kiss her, t
oo.
Her breath caught. Her heart stopped. She wanted to tilt her chin up and bring her mouth to his, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, and then he was pulling away, straightening to run a hand down the back of his head and neck, looking embarrassed.
“I, uh, won’t be long.”
“Take your time,” she mumbled, turning her gaze down onto Darla in disappointment.
He slipped away. She closed her eyes, holding Darla against her, while her heart thumped almost painfully inside her chest. She felt like crying, a terrible sense of loss enveloping her. She wondered if he even wanted her anymore. Perhaps the novelty of living with someone with whom he couldn’t sleep had worn off. Or maybe he had just changed so much that he didn’t think about it anymore. More often than not they were snapping at one another, rubbing each other raw with senselessly irritating minutiae. She had thought him jealous at points and subtly tried to play on that without visible results. At other times he had seemed possessive and was occasionally even affectionate. For a while they had even seemed like a real family, and now they were disconnected strangers pretending to be more. It hurt like hell, but she didn’t know what she could do about it. This was a temporary arrangement, a sham marriage, and it was almost Christmas. Nearly half their time was gone.
Darla looked at her, her head thrown back, and pulled at her hair. “Such a pretty girl,” Kendra said, hugging her. “Want your hair brushed again? Let’s brush your pretty hair again.” She picked up the soft-bristled brush she had placed on the end table earlier and lightly stroked Darla’s glossy dark hair. It was almost exactly the same shade as Parker’s now, like dark chocolate. Kendra bit her lip to stop the trembling.
* * *
Kendra had worked on Thanksgiving, treating it as if it were any other day, the result being that she was not allowed to work Christmas. The holiday, it seemed, could not be ignored. After some rather heated conversation, she and Parker decided to accept an invitation to spend Christmas with her father and Kate, though it galled Kendra deeply to think of Kate cooking a Christmas dinner in her mother’s kitchen. Parker told her that she had a “real problem” that she was going to have to face sooner or later. She retorted, rather sharply, that the only problem she had was him and that would fix itself in another three months time. He had looked so wounded that she had immediately regretted her words, but somehow she couldn’t say so. She dared not reveal her own vulnerability.