In conclusion, if you’re in the area and want to get something to eat, would I recommend you visit Marco’s?
Sure, if what you want to have is a meal that leaves you feeling angry, disappointed and hating everything in the world, oh and perhaps leaves you with a touch of food poisoning too, if you’re lucky.
Wine and Dine Approval Rating:
Eat there at your own risk…
A tense silence filled the room as I scrunched the review into a ball and let it drop onto the floor.
“I’m going to kill him,” Tisha said, deathly quiet, her hand twitching towards her chef’s knives.
“How did we not know McKenzie was coming? The critics don’t do surprise visits,” I asked trying to control the anger in my voice.
Martina slumped over the table. “Dillon must have intercepted the email they sent. He has access to the system. I found the email from ‘The Wine and Dine Guide’ in the trash folder of the restaurant’s email account.”
“I’m going to filet that asshole. I swear, they’ll never find a body,” Tisha muttered menacingly.
“His visit was on my day off. Otherwise I would have called you. I didn’t even find out until the day after. Dillon said everything went well. I was an idiot to have believed him,” Martina murmured in a defeated tone.
Tisha shook her head at Martina. “It’s not your fault. I’m going to rip his balls from his body, deep fry them, and then feed them to him.”
“Was it just Dillon who left?” I asked quietly, still in disbelief as I sat down in front of her.
“No. We’ve lost a couple of the wait staff, a few commis chefs and the pastry chef too. I’m not sure how we’re going to get everything done tomorrow.”
Tisha threw her body into the chair next to Martina. “Shit,” she muttered.
Yup. That about sums this situation up.
CHAPTER 3
Annika
Not wanting the night to be a total waste of time, I decided to buy some much needed groceries to fill my pitifully bare cupboards. Despite the fact I lived alone, my constantly empty cupboards suggested that I was getting through food at an alarming rate.
The last time I had gone to the store, Jacob Jameson, Caleb’s younger brother, had been there too. I’d developed a (not so) small crush on Jake when I’d met him during Thanksgiving last year.
Despite me being my usual awkward self, a tentative friendship had transpired between us over the months that followed. However, after an especially awkward and embarrassing incident during New Year’s Eve, I’d been studiously trying to avoid Jake.
So, when I saw him in the store, I did what any mature woman would do in the same situation. I left my shopping cart, turned tail, and ran.
I returned home with my shopping an hour later. Juggling several bags I finally managed to get the door open, but froze when I heard strange sounds coming from my living room.
Oh my God! I’m being robbed!
I was about to drop the bags and run out of the house to call the police, when I paused and actually listened to the noises coming from the living room.
It was the unmistakable sounds of clinking glasses and happy, chattering female voices.
Do thieves break into people’s houses and throw themselves parties now?
Confused, and hoping that I wouldn’t turn into the idiotic character from most horror movies who is murdered whilst investigating the source of the mysterious noise, I walked down the small hallway and into the living room.
My eyes widened in surprise at the sight that met me. My living room was filled with people.
There were eight women and one lone man, laughing, drinking wine and eating a whole load of junk food. There were also copies of Pride and Prejudice strewn about the room.
I spotted Liya sitting comfortably in an armchair, smiling happily as she poured herself a glass of red wine.
There was no doubt that anyone who saw us together would know we were sisters. We had the same wide, brown eyes, light brown skin tone and raven hair, though Liya kept hers long. The main differences between us were that Liya had slightly fuller lips than mine, and her face was more angular.
“Um... hi?” I asked, directing a ‘what-the-hell-is-this’ look in Liya’s direction.
“Niki!” Liya exclaimed happily. “Welcome to the first meeting of the Starling Falls Bookworms."
I chose not to answer but simply raised my eyebrows as I tried to not lose my grip on the food filled paper bags in my arms.
Liya shrugged. “Yeah, the name may need some work, but look! We started a book club.”
My sister grinned at me widely, as if this was a perfectly normal and completely acceptable occurrence in my house on a Friday night.
“A… book club? How... what?” I asked still confused.
Two of the three bags I was holding were taken out of my arms by a handsome, six foot two, blond haired, blue eyed giant. I looked up at Joshua Jameson, another of Caleb’s brothers and also Josh’s fraternal twin, and became even more confused.
Josh looked like he should be lying half naked on a beach somewhere with a surfboard, not drinking wine with a group of women in a book club.
“Liya and I came up with the idea,” he said proudly, walking towards the kitchen with the bags. I followed him, put the remaining bag down and put the perishables away before returning to the rowdy group in my living room.
I looked around at the eight women sitting on various chairs. Addie Jameson and her aunt Debbie Jameson sat together on the small, two-seater, chintz patterned couch. Addie’s tanned skin, dark eyes and dark curls contrasted sharply against her aunt’s bright blonde hair and fair skin.
Lounging on the three-seater couch were Addie’s two best friends, Karina Payson, a cute Vietnamese-American waitress with short brown hair with bright red streaks and almond shaped hazel eyes, and Julianna Washington, an African-American, junior high teacher with long black hair and a face that I thought belonged on the cover of magazines.
Also on the couch were both of their mothers, Betsy Washington and Cynthia Payson. I’d seen both of them around town, but apart from brief greetings, had never actually spoken to either of them.
Seeing them sitting beside each other, I realised they both looked like elegant, older versions of their daughters.
Lastly, sitting on an oversized armchair was Miss Martha, a sweet, older woman in her late sixties with grey hair and unnerving pale blue eyes. She was also the grandmother of Mitchell, my best friend and assistant manager at the bakery (both were titles he had bestowed upon himself).
Still slightly perplexed at the impromptu gathering at my house, I silently accepted a glass of white wine from Addie before perching myself on the arm of the other oversized armchair Liya was sitting in.
“Okay, I get that you started a book club. But… why at my house? You don’t live here anymore. You live in the house down the street with the bright pink door. Remember?”
“You have food and chocolate. And wine. And furniture,” Liya said simply, as she reached for a bowl of popcorn.
“I’m taking the keys to the house back from you. Your ‘come over whenever you want’ privileges have been revoked.” I threatened, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl.
Liya snorted, obviously not believing me at all. “Bullshit. You love me too much.”
Josh threw himself onto a long beanbag on the floor.
I whispered quietly to Liya, “When did we get a beanbag?”
“Josh brought it with him. Said it was his ‘Group Leader Throne’. Not quite sure what that means, but he seemed so happy with it, that I didn’t want to question him.” She shrugged and shovelled another handful of popcorn in her mouth.
Josh cleared his throat loudly, “Let’s get the first ever Official Starling Falls Bookworms Book Club meeting started, or OSFBBC as it shall now be known. As co-founder and chair of our little club, I think I should go first.”
Oh, this is actually happening…
And Josh Jameson, goofball and man-child extraordinaire, is leading.
Okay then.
He picked up a copy of the book and looked around the group. “So, this Darcy guy, total dish or total dick. Discuss.”
“Total dick,” Addie said, pushing her glasses up her nose.
“Total dish,” Julianna retorted, hugging the book to her chest.
“Gonna be honest. I didn’t even read it. I’m just here for the wine,” Karina said, refilling her empty glass.
Her mother shook her head reprovingly at her daughter. “You make me so proud,” she said as she stole her daughter’s wine glass for herself.
“Karina!” Josh rebuked as he struggled to sit up as much as the beanbag would allow, “This doesn’t work if we don’t all read the book! How are we supposed to discuss the social issues in the book if you haven’t read it?”
Karina shrugged, “Well… I watched the TV adaptation and the movie. Does that count?”
“Mmm. Colin Firth in a wet shirt and pants. Yes, that definitely counts,” Debbie said with a grin.
“Gross.” Josh shuddered before turning back to Karina. “Hey, if I had to read this, you should have to as well,” he said annoyed. “Okay. I’ve just made OSFBBC rule number one. Anyone who doesn’t read, at least half of the chosen book of the month, is banned from attending future meetings.”
“You can’t just ban people, Josh!” Addie protested, “This isn’t a dictatorship.”
“You bet it is. And I’m head dic-tator,” he paused with a stupid grin on his face. “Get it?” he asked, happily looking around the room, “cos I’m the only man here, and I have a- OWW!”
“Oh, sugar. It’s a good thing you’re so pretty,” Debbie said, interrupting Josh at the same time that Addie smacked him upside his head.
I burst out laughing. “Has anyone here attended a book club before? Do any of you actually have any questions or topics to discuss about the book?”
Everyone either shook their head or murmured their answers of ‘no.’
“So, correct me if I’m wrong, but basically, apart from Josh, you all just showed up here to get a little tipsy and reminisce on the memory of a wet Colin Firth coming out of a lake.”
A majority of the women in the living nodded. “Well, we have the TV series on DVD. Why don’t you just put it on, and then fast forward to all the good parts, so you can appreciate the image properly?”
Liya gasped happily as she jumped out of the chair to get the DVD. “Niki, you have the best ideas. Best. Bookclub. Meeting. Ever!”
Josh sat on his beanbag throne looking pissed off. “Fine. We can watch the stupid show instead. But I’m picking the next book of the month.”
Addie looked at her brother unamused. “Just keep in mind that the latest edition of Playboy doesn’t count as a book.”
“They have lots of good articles!”
* * * * *
After everyone had left, I was lounging on the couch with Liya when the front door creaked open gingerly. A handsome face with light brown skin and bright blue eyes peered around the entrance to the living room.
“Is it safe to come in yet?” Caleb stage whispered.
Liya rolled her eyes at her fiancé. “Yes, you chicken. They’re all gone.”
“Don’t roll your eyes, babe. That was a scary mix of women. It’s like having three Aunt Debs and three Addies in the same room. Add Miss Martha and her freaky eyes and abilities, and that is a group would terrify even the bravest of men.”
Caleb had been trying to convince us for some time, without success, that Miss Martha was part-psychic/clairvoyant/a witch.
I’m sure he wasn’t this odd before he started dating Liya. Her weirdness must be contagious.
“It didn’t terrify Josh!” Liya said mockingly.
“Josh is an idiot who has no sense of self-preservation, so he doesn’t count.” Caleb said as he chucked his keys into a small bowl by the door, walked over to where we were seated and flung his long body onto the couch next to Liya.
“You still have the keys for the house too?” I asked puzzled.
“Yeah, it comes in useful.” Caleb said vaguely.
I gasped as something finally clicked. “Do you guys come over when I’m not here and steal food?”
Caleb and Liya exchanged a shifty look. “No, of course not,” Liya said, looking away guiltily.
“Oh my God. I thought I was going mad or that I had started to sleep eat, or that Shadow had somehow found a way to open the fridge door to get food!”
Liya bit back a smile, “We’re sorry?”
I rolled my eyes at her very insincere apology. “I’m calling a locksmith to change the locks tomorrow. What is it with people and stealing my food?”
“Who else has been stealing your food?” Liya asked with a curious frown.
Sighing heavily, I retold the story of ‘Disastrous Date No. 3’, tactfully choosing to leave out the ‘big girl’ comment.
Liya had always been overly protective of me and knew the hang-ups I had about my body. I knew she would have lost her mind if I’d told her the whole truth, and the guy had been a jerk, but Liya’s wrath was not something I would ever inflict on anyone.
When I was done, both Caleb and Liya were trying hard, but unsuccessfully, to hold back their laughter.
“Like I said before,” Liya managed to choke out through barely suppressed giggles, “an intervention is much needed.”
“He didn’t seem like a weirdo on his profile! He seemed like a perfectly nice, normal, ordinary accountant.”
“Well, your weirdo radar is clearly fucked,” Liya said, her eyebrows raised, “Oh! Cal, why don’t you set her up with one of your hot fire-fighter friends.”
“Who exactly do you think is hot?” Caleb asked as he frowned at Liya.
Her teasing smile returned. “Oh, I don’t know. Your Captain is pretty hot, and that pervy Italian one, even the one with the baby-face is kind of-”
Caleb let out a growl, which sounded more animal than man, and interrupted Liya by kissing her firmly, though from my point of view, it mainly looked like he was trying to devour her face.
I rolled my eyes as I got off the couch, knowing that in about ten seconds, their making out was probably going to lead to clothes being destroyed.
“You have your own house to do this in now,” I reminded them over the cringe-inducing sounds of their kissing.
And I’m being ignored. Fantastic.
I continued talking to them regardless. “You know, for two grown-ups, you sure do act like horny teenagers. It’s like you’re constantly in heat.”
Ignored yet again. Maybe if I were to throw a bucket of water over them?
I decided against this plan when I realised it would only result in a soggy couch and a soggy couple still making out.
I hope they don’t end up breaking the lamp again, I just had that fixed.
I erred on the side of caution and proceeded to unplug and move the lamp far away from the danger zone.
Looking around the messy living room, I decided that cleaning could wait until tomorrow and walked towards the stairs, trying to avoid looking at the disgusting display that was happening on the couch.
“I’m going to sleep. Lock up when you’re... um… done?”
I took the vague grunt as a yes and began to climb the stairs, smiling when Shadow appeared from nowhere and wound his body around my ankles.
“Hello there you, handsome devil. Did the loud, drunk ladies scare you into hiding?” I picked him up and nuzzled his fur, and got some sweet cat kisses in return.
“I don’t know why Liya thinks you’re possessed. You’re the sweetest kitty ever.”
As I mentioned, my sister had some issues. Apparently thinking that Shadow was possessed by a cannibalistic demon, which was intent on eating her face off, and that Freddy our goldfish had mind-controlling powers, were two of those issues.
Yes, I know.
I feel sorry for me too. This was the cr
azy person I had grown up with and still had to deal with on a daily basis.
As I entered my room and placed Shadow on the bed, it struck me that the longest and most functional relationship I’d had with anyone, apart from my sister, was with a cat.
“I’m a cat lady at twenty-four. I’m too young to already be a cliché, surely?” I asked Shadow, and he meowed at me in what seemed to be a very reassuring manner.
“Oh, you charmer. You always know the right things to say,” I told the little feline as I scratched behind his ears.
I was going through my usual bedtime routine when I heard the message alert sound on my phone.
I made a face when I saw the message was from the taxidermist I had gone on a date with a week ago.
Weirdo No 2: Hey. Want to go to the zoo this weekend? I love to see the animals when they’re walking around alive…
I eyes widened in alarm as I turned the screen of my phone towards Shadow.
“Is it just me, or do those ellipses seem slightly sinister to you too?”
Meow.
Taking his meow as a ‘yes’, I hastily typed out a polite response that indicated I would not be interested in seeing any form of animals with him, living or otherwise, as I was busy, and I would remain busy for a very, very long time.
I set my alarm for four a.m. so I could be at the bakery to start baking by five. Climbing under the covers, I felt Shadow curl up into a ball at the foot of my mattress.
I sighed heavily as I switched off the lamp on the side table and closed my eyes, trying to ignore the clawing feeling of loneliness that always seemed to make an appearance at night.
Friday night, and your only source of company is a cat. That’s sad, Niki, real sad.
CHAPTER 4
Jacob
3 weeks later
“We’ve had another cancellation,” Martina said, as she walked into the kitchen. “That’s the sixth one today.”
Falling Sweetly (Starling Falls #2) Page 3