She nodded and headed back out into the waves.
I called Jamie on the way home to throw some dry clothes on, but he didn't answer. I had to tell him. I was wrong when I told him he didn't love me. It'd been months, and we hadn't talked about it since. I hadn't been myself, or maybe I'd been too much myself. I didn't know.
Leaving my wetsuit in a sopping pile on the floor, I pulled on some jeans and a red cotton shirt.
No one answered the front door when I rapped the large brass knocker against the wood. I rang the doorbell and still no such luck. About to leave, I caught the faint sound of a guitar coming from the backyard. Taking the steps two at a time, I leapt off the pillared porch and ran around to the high wooden gate. It was stained black, contrasting with the light house and standing as a warning to any uninvited trespassers.
The latch was old and worn, rarely used, but I pushed it open and stepped into the backyard. Jamie sat with his back to me, guitar resting naturally on his thigh. His head hung low, eyes tracking his fingers as they worked the complicated song.
The music washed over me, full of sadness and desperation. Not the typical kind of song Jamie was known for. It wasn't an original; never was. He claimed he wasn't smart enough or good enough to write.
I'd known Jamie most of my life, but never understood him, never known anything about his life. Now that I did, my heart broke for all those years.
I walked up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder and leaning in to kiss the side of his head, not wanting him to stop.
He flinched away from me, the music crashing to a halt.
“Sorry,” I murmured, stepping in front of him. “Didn't mean to startle you.”
He sighed in relief upon hearing my voice and looked up at me, breathing heavily.
I sucked in a breath when I saw his face, a swirling brown and red bruise stretching the length of his cheek.
“What happened?” I reached out to touch his face.
He turned away from me and set his guitar down.
“Did you see the news?” he asked, back still toward me.
“Haven't had a chance.”
He pulled out his phone and turned back around, typing on the screen. Angling it toward me, he nodded for me to watch the video that was coming up.
Jamie's dad appeared, but the clip was only the end of the press conference. I saw him go off on the reporters and couldn't help the laugh that escaped. Or the ones after that.
“Don't fucking politicize it,” I wheezed. “You said that to a freaking reporter.”
He gave me an amused smile. “I know. I was there. It got me this bruise and disinvited from today's interview.”
I slapped my leg, bending over to catch my breath. “Oh my gosh, if I wasn't already in love with you, I sure would be now.”
His wry smile turned into a full-fledged grin. “If what?”
“Huh?” That was not how I wanted to say it. No. Definitely not.
“You're in love with me.”
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
“You know, it's just the grief talking. You aren't actually in love with me.”
I couldn't believe he was throwing that back in my face. “Ass.” I stomped off the deck.
“You love this ass.”
I stopped, laughing once again. “I do. It's the boy attached to the ass I'm not so sure about.”
“No take backs,” he sang. “Does this mean I can finally tell you I love you without you cutting off my balls.”
“Jamie!”
He jumped from the deck, landing in front of me. His arms circled my waist. “I love you Callie McCoy.” He held me to him as he dipped me back, almost to the ground, and kissed me like none of the rest of it mattered. Bringing me back up, he grinned. “I've always wanted to do that.”
“Nerd.” I laughed, still a little breathless. “I do love you though. Not just because of the interview. It's everything. Jamie, I can't believe you got my board fixed. I thought it was a goner.”
“I have a guy,” he said. “He went out of his way to keep the original.”
“I did it. I went back out there today.”
Before I knew it, I was being lifted off my feet and spun around. Jamie let out a yell. “I'm so proud of you. How did it feel?”
“Like coming home.”
30
Callie
Hurrying out of the school, I did my best to tie my hair up into a ponytail. I was running late. Surprise surprise. Jamie cornered me after my last class, pulling me into an empty room and kissing all sense of obligation right out of my head. I'd forgotten I promised Kat I'd be at the diner right after school. She had some kind of meeting she wouldn't tell me about.
I hiked my bag higher on my shoulder and scanned the parking lot for where Colby parked his car. He was hitting the weight room with Jamie and would get a ride to the diner for the dinner shift.
“Dammit, Colby,” I mumbled to myself.
My eyes scanned each row, finally settling on the familiar death trap. We McCoys seemed to have a penchant for barely running cars. Man, I missed my truck.
Before setting off in that direction, I spotted Morgan sitting alone on a bench. She kicked her toe against the ground with her head dipped low, refusing to acknowledge anyone around her. There was a battle going on inside of me. I wanted nothing more than to get in that car and drive away. I was already late, and this was a girl who'd been nothing but nasty for months.
But my body seemed to have other ideas. I walked toward her. Rocking back on my heels, I waited for her to look up.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.” She tucked strands of her blond hair behind her ears. It wasn't styled as it usually was, perfectly straightened and then curled. No, it looked stringy, like she hadn't bothered trying. That wasn't the Morgan I knew.
When she finally looked up, her gaze was on some far-off place.
“Are you okay?” Can you say awkward?
“I'm fine.” She wiped a hand across her face and sniffled.
“Where's your car?”
“I sort of crashed it last week.” She shrugged.
Why didn't I hear about that? Last semester, this girl changed my life, she changed me - gave me confidence that I hadn't had in years. She made me happy. Did I owe her anything even after these past months? No, I didn't. But a part of me couldn't stand seeing her like that.
“Do you have a ride?” I asked.
“My mom was supposed to pick me up, but she's been… forgetful.”
“Well, I have to get to work.” I pointed over my shoulder at the rows of cars. “But do you feel like a coffee?”
Morgan didn't react right away as she weighed my words. With a tiny nod of her head, she said, “That'd be nice.”
The ride to the diner was stifling. I didn't know what to say to Morgan, and she seemed intent on not saying anything at all.
Kat was waiting for me when I walked in. “I told you to be here right after school let out.”
“I know, I'm sorry.” I inclined my head toward Morgan and Kat's scowl fell.
“Hi Morgan.” She gave her a soft smile and then, to my surprise, pulled Morgan into a hug. “We've missed you around here.”
Morgan's back shook, but as Kat released her, she regained her composure.
“You and Colby can handle the dinner rush, right?” Kat asked. “After my meeting, Noah wants to take me out.”
“What's this meeting about, anyway?” I eyed her.
“I already told you it's none of your business.”
“Fine fine. Yes, go. Have fun. Don't worry about us. There are two cooks on the schedule so Colby and I will only have to handle the front.”
“Like you two would ever help cook.” Kat laughed.
“Just go.” I pushed her toward the door, waving goodbye as she got into her car.
Turning back to Morgan, I gestured toward the counter. She sat on a stool while I tied my apron on and started a fresh pot of coffee.
> I went to check on the two customers we had. It was another slow day. Once they were taken care of, I slid a mug toward Morgan and poured coffee into it. Then I grabbed the bowl of creamer packets and handed it to her before she could ask. Some things you don't forget.
Working up the nerve, I finally asked the question that'd been on my mind for the past two months. “How's your family doing?”
She finished stirring in a packet of sweetener before lifting the cup to her lips. Taking a tiny sip, she placed it back on the counter and looked up at me.
“Do you really want to know, Callie?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“It's just that most people would rather forget. They ask how we are out of obligation, but they don't truly want an answer other than 'good'. No one will talk about it. My mom won't even let us mention Troy.” Her eyes watered.
“Morgan, you can talk to me.”
“After how terrible I've been? The rational part of me knows you were just protecting your brother. I was the cheater. But the other part of me, blamed you for spinning my life out of control. That was the beginning, and it's hard to separate that terrible feeling from the horror of losing my brother, the pain of being shot.”
“That's why you've been so mean?”
She nodded, taking another sip of coffee. Her hands shook as she lifted the cup. When she caught me noticing, she put it down.
“Side effect,” she explained. “Just another reminder.” She rested her elbows on the counter and hid her face in her hands. “My mom barely leaves the house. Dad barely leaves work. Parker's the same way. All she does is jump out of those damn planes.”
“That's not surprising,” I said. “Have you ever gone with her?”
“No.”
“Maybe it'd help you. Up there, all your problems disappear, even if it's only for a short time.”
“I thought she was just avoiding being home with me and mom.” A harsh laugh escaped her. “I don't know how to help any of them. I can't even help myself.”
Before I could respond, the bell above the door chimed and in walked Seth Franklin. I froze, looking back and forth between Seth and Morgan.
Morgan looked toward the door, her face showing no recognition. Sighing in relief, I walked toward Seth.
“Afternoon, Seth. Do you want a booth today?” I asked, hoping his answer was yes.
“That's okay, Sweetheart. I'll sit at the counter today.” To my dismay, he situated himself on the stool next to Morgan.
I moved back behind the counter, pulling out a mug, filling it, and setting it in front of him.
“The usual, Seth?” I asked.
“You're too good to an old man like me.” He smiled as I wrote his order on my pad and set it in the pass-through window to the kitchen.
When I walked back, Seth was chatting with Morgan as if they were just two strangers who weren't grieving the same event. I guessed, to them, they were.
“I'm sorry to hear about your brother,” Seth was saying.
I don't know what possessed her to tell him about Troy. Seth was open and had this caring way about him. Maybe that prompted it.
“I recently lost my grandson,” Seth continued. “I'm not sure it ever gets easier. Especially when most people want to remember them for the things they did wrong. All I think about is the sweet child he once was.”
“I treated my brother like the annoying younger sibling for most of my life. He was only two years younger than me. I figured we had plenty of time to be friends when we were older.”
I felt like I'd intruded on some deep conversation, but Seth pinned me with his gaze, preventing me from leaving, when he said his next words.
“Death teaches us more about life than living ever does.” Seth and I both knew he was talking about Matthew, but Morgan nodded along in ignorance.
Seth's food was ready and as I set it in front of him, he gave me a sad smile.
Morgan smiled too when I handed her a piece of pie. An actual smile. My gut clenched when I looked at the two of them side by side. Both destroyed by a single night.
A customer came to the counter to pay his bill. I ran his card, and he was on his way. After taking the check out to the other diner and accepting her payment, I turned on my heel and went into the back room, needing a second to breathe.
Pain gripped my chest as I breathed. In. Out. My teeth clattered as I released the last puff of air and turned, hearing the bell above the door signal a new arrival. Colby and Jamie were walking in when I reappeared.
Jamie came straight to me, pulling me close for a scorching kiss.
“Hi,” I breathed.
A smirk appeared on his face. “Hi yourself.”
Behind him, I saw Colby give Morgan a long hug. When he pulled back, he glanced between Morgan and Seth, a question in his eyes. He shrugged with a nonchalance I envied before pulling on his own apron.
“We've been super busy,” I said.
“I can see that.” Colby laughed, looking around the nearly empty diner. He shook hands with Seth as Jamie plopped himself down on the other side of Morgan and threw an arm around her shoulders.
“So,” he said. “Are you done avoiding us?”
Morgan laughed self-consciously. “You should be used to people avoiding you, Jamie.”
“Ms. Cook, you wound me.” He squeezed her tighter. “We've missed you.”
I watched them with a contented smile on my face. Morgan needed us, but I had the feeling we needed her just as much.
31
Callie
College application deadlines were long past, and I hadn't sent any in. Not a single one. It was a decision that Aunt Kat and Colby wouldn't understand, but I felt like there was something else I was supposed to be doing.
Graduation was only a couple months away, and I didn't know what would happen after that. Before the shooting, I may have done what was expected of me - go to a small school and get a degree in something I didn't particularly care about. That wasn't me anymore. I might not have known what I wanted, but I knew what I didn't want.
Would I stay in Gulf City? That was another question that had no answer. Was there anything for me here?
I looked toward Jamie's sleeping figure. Was he staying? If so, was that enough for me? I wanted something big for my life, but I also wanted him.
He shifted, groaning in his sleep, as the sheet dipped lower, revealing more of his bare skin. Unable to resist the urge, I reached out to touch the soft blond curls on his chest. He groaned again, shifting toward me. One eye cracked open.
“Mmmm, hi.”
I smiled at him, angling closer. We'd gone to his house after school. The intention was not to spend all afternoon making out in bed, but there we were. We'd fallen asleep. The sun was long gone and the moon cast shadows across the room.
“I wish I could stay all night,” I whispered.
“You can.”
“Kat would kill me.” I laughed.
“Well.” He rolled over, pinning me to the bed. “We can't have that.”
I rose off the bed to kiss him, eliciting a moan when I bit his lip.
“Keep kissing me like that and I'll never let you leave.” His voice was low.
“Kiss you like what?” I kissed him again. “Like this?”
He pushed closer, a growl ripping from his throat.
His hands ran up my skin underneath my top. I was so distracted I didn't hear the pounding on the door.
“Jamie, you in here?” Jay pushed open the door, freezing immediately. “Shit.”
“Jay,” I yelled.
“What the hell, man?” Jamie cursed.
Jay backed out quickly, shutting the door behind him. I scrambled from the bed, fumbling for my clothes on the ground. Jamie switched on the lamp by his bed and started getting dressed as well. Neither of us said anything. Weird didn't begin to cover it.
I was out the door before Jamie could stop me. Jay was waiting downstairs, his hands in his pockets. He gave me a she
epish grin and rocked back on his heels nervously.
“Oh, shut up,” I snapped, wanting to slap my best friend.
“I'm just surprised is all.” He laughed. “I knew you guys were kind of starting something, but damn.”
“Don't you be an ass to him about this.” I grabbed his arm and made him follow me out the door. “Why are you even here?”
“Doesn't sound like you're happy to see me.”
“You know it's not like that. I'm always glad when you're around.”
“Spring break.” He shrugged.
“Us too. Today was our last day of school. Look, I've got to get home. Sunday I don't have to work. You want to hang out?”
“With you? Always.”
Jamie came out, and I waved goodbye as we got into his car so he could drive me home.
The house was dark when I got home save for a single light in the kitchen. I stood in the doorway, watching Aunt Kat sit hunched over at the table, papers spread out in front of her. She pressed the heels of her hands against both eyes and let out a troubled sigh.
“Dammit,” she muttered to herself.
“Everything okay?”
She jerked her head up sharply as if I'd shocked her. “Callie.”
As I moved further into the room, she quickly gathered up the papers in front of her, hiding them from view. “You're home late.” She was trying to distract me.
I walked to the fridge and pulled it open. Peering inside as the cold jolted me, I grabbed a bottle of water, but before the door could swing shut, I changed my mind and pulled out a beer instead. Kat raised an eyebrow as I unscrewed the cap and set the chilled bottle in front of her.
“You look like you could use it.”
She didn't argue, taking a long swig before looking at me again.
I sat across from her. “Now, what's wrong?”
“Not anything you should have to worry about.”
“Kat.”
“Callie.”
I leaned back in the chair, crossing my arms over my chest. If she wanted to be stubborn, so did I. “I have all night.”
“When did you get so grown up?” She laughed, brushing honeyed bangs out of her face.
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