Making Peace

by Fiona McCallum

  ‘That’s lovely, but as good as he is at lopping limbs and cutting lawns, he’s really not quite the businessman. He needs a boss.’

  ‘He mentioned you did the books. I wanted to pay online, but …’ She shrugged in a helpless gesture.

  ‘I keep offering to help him. I’ve told him I’m happy for it to continue to be a partnership. But the silly man has got it into his head that he’s failed and can barely look me in the eye.’

  ‘So, what are you going to do?’

  ‘Wait it out, I guess. And just hope he doesn’t do anything silly. That’s my greatest fear – that he’ll, you know,’ she said, tears filling her eyes. ‘He knows Felix and I love him and will welcome him back in a heartbeat. It’s up to him. Meanwhile, I’m a single mother doing my best.’

  ‘I think you’re doing really well.’

  ‘I’m sorry to lump all this on you. I’m suddenly feeling very embarrassed about my verbal diarrhoea.’

  ‘Don’t. It’s quite all right. A bit of venting is good for the soul,’ Hannah said, smiling warmly. Louise’s down-to-earth, forthright nature reminded her a little of Sam.

  Suddenly she noticed Felix hovering in the doorway.

  ‘It’s okay, darling, you can come in,’ Louise said and the little boy rushed over to the table.

  ‘Mum,’ he said, and looked pleadingly at Louise.

  ‘I know. It’s okay. I’m really sorry to cut this short,’ Louise said to Hannah, anguish clear on her face, ‘but Felix has a birthday party to go to.’

  ‘No problem. I’m sorry to hold you up.’ Hannah rose from her chair. ‘You should have said.’

  ‘It’s okay. We’re not late yet. Felix, you go and get the present. I’ll meet you at the car. Say goodbye to Hannah.’

  ‘Bye, Hannah.’

  ‘Bye, Felix, enjoy your party.’

  ‘I will. Thank you.’

  ‘I’ll walk you out,’ Louise said. ‘Sorry again for getting so deep and heavy. I think I was a little overwhelmed to have you here, which if I haven’t already said, I really appreciate. Thank you. It’s been really lovely to meet you. I couldn’t imagine having the courage to do what you did – coming here today, meeting Henry, and of course …’

  ‘I’m glad I came,’ Hannah said, smiling warmly. She was a little surprised to find herself drawing Louise into a firm embrace. She felt a sudden strong warmth towards this outspoken but seemingly kind-hearted woman, knowing that they were loosely joined by a tragedy. ‘I hope you and Henry can get back on track.’

  ‘Me too, but I think the ball’s in his court now.’

  ‘Okay. Well, bye, then,’ Hannah said, stepping down off the porch. As she did, a thought struck her. She stopped and turned back. ‘Actually, completely off-topic, but my friend Sam is an artist and she’s having her first exhibition in early April. Would you be at all interested in coming to the opening or at least receiving an invitation?’

  ‘Oh. I’d love to go to an art exhibition opening – I’ve never been to one before.’

  ‘Muuum!’ Felix called.

  ‘Sorry, I’d better go.’

  ‘I’ll send you an invitation. Feel free to bring a friend if Henry’s not interested. The more the merrier. Here, I’ll give you my number in case …’ In case of what? Hannah wondered as she dug in her handbag for one of her business cards to give her.

  ‘Great. Thanks. I’d better go before I get the royal hurry-up,’ Louise said.

  Hannah waved as she drove away from the kerb. Wow, she thought. What a morning.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  From the gallery Hannah drove straight to Sam’s house. A few times she thought she should pull over and phone or text her friend and make sure she wasn’t making a wasted trip, but she didn’t want to ruin the surprise. She just hoped Sam hadn’t suddenly started going out for coffee with other mums after school drop-off.

  ‘Hey, Hann, what are you doing here?’ Sam cried and threw her arms around Hannah.

  ‘I come bearing gifts, well, maybe not a gift as such. Exciting news, anyway. I’ve brought the invitations to show you.’

  ‘Ooh, goodie. Well, you’d better come in, then,’ Sam said, ushering Hannah in.

  ‘Let me see,’ Sam said, clapping her hands, when they were seated at the kitchen table. Hannah took out the sample from her handbag and handed it over. She sat in silence while Sam stared at it, turned it over, read both sides twice and stared at it again. The drawn-out silence started to worry Hannah.

  ‘Is there something wrong?’ Hannah asked. She’d gone over the proof online a week ago and printed it out, double-checked it and then checked the finished product at the printer before leaving.

  Sam shook her head.

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘It’s beautiful,’ Sam said, and burst into tears.

  Hannah laughed. ‘Sammy, you’re meant to be excited, happy, not drowning in tears,’ she said, putting her arm around her friend. ‘Of course it’s beautiful, it’s got a picture of your work on it.’

  ‘I am happy. It’s just … I never thought I’d see the day. Look, it’s my name, my art.’

  ‘Yes, darling, I know. Isn’t it wonderful?’

  ‘I can’t believe how good it looks. My sculpture looks, looks … I don’t know, real.’

  ‘It is real, silly.’

  ‘No, I know, but you know, like a professional has done it.’

  ‘You are a professional, Sammy.’

  ‘Not until I’ve sold something I’m not.’

  ‘You sold all those pieces at the market, remember?’

  ‘But that was just a market. Okay, so a very good design market, but still … This is a proper gallery. Oh, Hann, thank you. This is all because of you.’

  ‘No, it’s not. You’re the artist. This is all you.’

  ‘But without you being my agent, I could never have made this happen.’

  ‘Don’t be bloody ridiculous. You’ve really got to start believing in yourself,’ she said, putting the invitation down.

  ‘The piece looks so incredible,’ Sam said, picking the card up again.

  ‘You took the photo,’ Hannah said.

  ‘I know, I’m just so blown away.’

  ‘Well, believe it, Sammy, because it’s real. It’s happening.’

  ‘Pity I have to share the exhibition with another artist,’ Sam said. ‘Though I quite like Zoe’s style. I’m looking forward to seeing what else she’s done.’

  ‘I think it’s great – and lucky – that you are so different.’

  ‘Yes, it’s a good contrast. Hopefully something for everyone,’ Sam said.

  ‘You’d better do some more pieces, because there are over two hundred of these babies going out.’

  ‘All up, including Zoe’s?’

  ‘No, that’s just yours.’

  ‘No way! Do I even know that many people?’

  ‘Probably not. Jasmine and Beth and even Pete have added some names to broaden the reach. Zoe doesn’t have many on her list because she’s from overseas or been living overseas for ages, or something,’ Hannah said.

  ‘Wow. Thank you.’

  ‘Now, don’t get too excited. I think if we get sixty turning up from our side we’ll be doing well. Some of the invites are a bit random.’

  ‘I need a Bex and a lie down. It’s quite overwhelming.’

  ‘I’m sure it is. Actually, I’m a bit hungry, do you have anything to eat?’

  ‘God, you sound like the boys. There’s chocolate cake in the tin on the bench.’

  ‘Oh. Okay.’

  ‘Don’t worry, it’s from Joan across the way and has received the boys’ seal of approval.’

  ‘Brilliant! Yum.’ Hannah said, instantly regretting her sudden enthusiasm. Oh well, Sam was fully aware of her failings in the kitchen.

  ‘So, who’s enveloping them and putting the stamps on and everything?’

  ‘Don’t worry, Roger has it all sorted. We don’t have to do a thing,’ Hannah said, putti
ng down the plate with two slices of cake and two forks.

  ‘That’s good of him.’

  ‘Well, he is taking a decent commission from sales, don’t forget.’

  ‘Right, of course,’ Sam said. ‘So, how’s the new job?’

  ‘I love it, Sam, I really do. I know it’s only been a couple of days, but so far so good. It’s challenging and it’s interesting. And best of all, I get to be home with the cats. Although, they do limit productivity somewhat. They love sitting right under the heat of the desk lamp or in my lap or on the keyboard, or anywhere else my attention is when it’s not on them. They’re seriously cute, but there’s a limit. Well, there should be. I’ve lost half my desk space to a bed for them in the hope they’ll settle and be less disruptive.’

  ‘Hannah, you can put them on the floor and say no, you know.’

  ‘Oh, but you haven’t seen their little faces.’

  ‘You’ll sort it out. So, what is it you’re actually doing for Craig?’

  ‘Everything. This week I’m mainly concentrating on writing the copy for the website and getting quotes for web designers and hosts. I even managed to get Craig in for a coffee meeting with the CEO of one of the biggest electricity companies.’

  ‘Wow. Go, you.’

  ‘It doesn’t sound very exciting or glamorous, but it feels good to have so much at stake and be such an important cog in his business machine. I know he’s always valued me, but this is different.’

  ‘Whatever floats your boat. God, I’d love a personal assistant right about now. I came so close to forgetting the boys yesterday. Made it by the skin of my teeth. I was so engrossed I didn’t hear the alarm I’d set. Thankfully I got that pesky feeling I was forgetting something and it wouldn’t let up until I realised. I can’t wait until they’re old enough to catch public transport on their own so I can get a whole day to myself,’ Sam said.

  ‘Well, if you’re feeling like a taxi service now, imagine what it will be like when one decides he wants to play soccer and the other wants to pursue piano, or whatever.’

  ‘God, don’t remind me. That’s the other reason I need Rob here,’ Sam said sadly.

  ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you by bringing things up.’

  ‘It’s okay. It’s not your fault my life is a mess.’

  ‘It’s not a mess, Sammy.’

  ‘Well, it is what it is,’ Sam said soberly with a shrug. ‘At least I have my first exhibition to distract me.’

  ‘That’s the spirit.’

  Hannah wondered about the level of Sam’s despondency. She was such a strong, independent woman, it was hard to believe she might be falling apart. But then she had the twins, who were most likely wearing her down with constant questions of where was their dad and when was he was coming home. She really hoped the exhibition was a roaring success and Sam would start to feel better all round.

  ‘So, how’s it going with Pete?’ Sam asked.

  ‘Oh. Well …’ Hannah hesitated. The last thing she wanted was to make Sam feel worse.

  ‘And no censoring. Come on, I need you to remind me that maybe just maybe I won’t end up a lonely dried up old prune.’

  ‘As if, Sam! Anyway, you’ll always have me.’

  ‘Not if you’re off with Pete. So …?’

  ‘We’re taking things slowly, but proper date number two was the other night. We were going to see a movie and have pizza but decided we’d save that for when the weather isn’t so nice.’

  ‘Looking into the future – that’s a good sign. What did you end up doing instead?’

  ‘We went down to Port Melbourne and walked along the beach and had fish and chips and then ice-cream.’

  ‘Now that’s romantic.’

  ‘Yes, it was really lovely.’

  ‘You know, I don’t think you can go wrong with someone who cares for both people and animals like a vet does,’ Sam mused. ‘And he is quite scrummy, in a gentle yet rugged way – if that’s possible.’

  ‘Hmm. What? Hang on, how do you know?’

  ‘I have a confession to make.’

  ‘God, don’t tell me you’ve gone and stalked him.’

  ‘I didn’t stalk him, Hannah, you didn’t let me finish,’ Sam said with a laugh. ‘It was accidental. I took the dogs in for their annual jab and check-up and my usual vet wasn’t there. I didn’t even realise until after, actually. His name tag said Dr Shaw and I don’t remember him introducing himself. He seemed in a bit of a rush. Or maybe I was too busy looking into those hazel eyes or checking out his …’

  ‘Sam, don’t be ridiculous. He’s not even that good looking. Handsome, yes, but not drop dead gorgeous or swoon-worthy.’

  ‘Oh I don’t know. I thought he was quite divine. Nice gentle hands too. And the dogs seemed to like him, though giving them treats helped. Greedy things.’

  ‘So how did you figure out that he was Pete?’

  ‘When I was paying. He was hovering nearby and someone called his name from the back of the office and off he went. Then it clicked. Anyway, he has my seal of approval. You lovebirds have my blessing.’

  ‘Why, thank you very much. But, really, it’s early days. And I’m still not entirely sure I haven’t been put into the friend zone.’

  ‘Why, what do you mean? What about the romantic walk along the beach?’

  ‘Well, he hasn’t even tried to kiss me, except for a couple of times that were more of a quick peck. He did hold my hand and put his arm around me. God, I’ve missed that safe, secure feeling of being held by strong arms. But that was as far as it went, intimately,’ Hannah said.

  ‘You did say you were taking it slow.’

  ‘Maybe that’s just the excuse I’m using so I don’t feel hurt.’

  ‘He knows your situation. And he’s bound to be cautious too. If you want it to be different, you’d better tell him that.’

  ‘I think it’s a little soon to be saying, “Pete, we need to talk”. Also, I don’t know what it is I want. Sometimes I think I’d like some nice sex or maybe even just to curl up with some strong arms wrapped around me.’

  ‘I hear ya,’ Sam said wistfully.

  ‘But then the thought of casual sex freaks me out. You don’t get anything nice without getting emotionally involved. Well, I can’t see how I could, anyway. And then just the thought of being that intimate with someone makes me feel guilty and miss Tristan. I know deep down he wasn’t perfect and we weren’t perfect, but I keep having the feeling that no one is ever going to measure up.’

  ‘Poor Pete. That’s a lot of pressure,’ Sam said.

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘Maybe you’re just not ready.’

  ‘Perhaps you’re right. He’s going away for a few weeks to do some locum work for a uni friend. He’s hoping to make it back in time for your launch, but there are no guarantees. The time apart might be useful.’

  ‘Well, they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Long chats on the phone might be good for getting to know each other better.’

  ‘I get the impression he’s not really into spending hours on the phone.’

  ‘Maybe some quick phone sex to spice things up, then,’ Sam added with a cheeky grin.

  ‘Eeew! No way!’

  ‘Only kidding. Maybe he’ll write romantic letters or emails instead. He has form in that department,’ Sam said a little more seriously.

  ‘Hmm.’

  ‘Don’t overthink it. You’ve come a long way, but this is a whole different ball game. Be grateful he isn’t pressuring you into bed and he clearly wants a deeper, more meaningful relationship.’

  ‘You’re right. Oh, Sammy, I don’t want to feel so damaged, so broken,’ Hannah said with a sigh.

  ‘Hmm. Imagine what a basket case I’m going to be if I ever decide to start dating again,’ Sam said. ‘What a fine pair we are.’

  Hannah leaned over and hugged her friend. Oh how she loved her dry wit. ‘Yes, but as you say, at least we have each other.’

  ‘I know.
But, god I miss him, Hann. And he’s still being such a good dad, even from a distance. I didn’t tell you this, but he’s bought a stack of books the same as what the boys have here and reads to them every night while they follow along here.’

  ‘Aww, bless him.’

  ‘Why can’t he have turned out to be an arsehole instead of gay? Damn it,’ Sam said.

  ‘It would make it easier for me too, you know. In these situations friends are meant to take sides, but I can’t. I blame you.’

  ‘Why, because he’s even more loveable to you now he’s gay, right?’ Sam said.

  ‘Yup, afraid so,’ Hannah said, laughing.

  ‘Have you spoken to him?’

  ‘Just the once. I hope you don’t mind. He called soon after he arrived in Singapore. I didn’t want to get put in the middle, but I didn’t feel I could … Especially when you said things were okay between you.’

  ‘No. It’s fine. Honestly.’

  ‘I still felt like I’d betrayed you a little. That’s why I didn’t say anything.’

  ‘Don’t worry, it’s a weird situation all round. Hann, you have my permission to be in touch with him however much you want. As I’ve said, I want to hate him, but I just can’t. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever loved him more than I do right now. I hate that! He’s just such a bloody decent bloke.’

  ‘Yes, that he is.’

  Rob! Oh! Should I invite him to the opening? Would that help or make things worse? Would Sam see it as rubbing it in because he’s left her or would she appreciate such a show of support? He should definitely be here, Hannah concluded. But Sam doesn’t like surprises. It would have to be a surprise, wouldn’t it, if I’m going to keep her at least a bit calm and focussed? She’s already on a knife-edge.

  The more Hannah thought about it, the more convinced she was that Rob should be there. About the surprise factor and getting in trouble with Sam, Hannah decided she’d cross that bridge if and when she came to it. Hopefully the risk would be worth it.

  ‘Bastard!’ Sam said with a sob.

  ‘Come on, no tears,’ Hannah said kindly.

  ‘Everything will work out, won’t it? Eventually?’ Sam said.

  ‘So you’ve always said.’