by Marie Wathen
“Well first I want to ask a favor,” she smiles sweetly.
“Okaaaayyy?”
“I need a babysitter for the weekend of that damn football game,” she watches me and I know my face is stone cold because I’m waiting for her to ask me who to recommend, but she doesn’t ask that question. Nope. She hits me with something utterly unexpected. “Will you stay here with the kids? It’s just two nights. We’ll be home before you know it and they are both pretty much self-sufficient. Except at bath time you can just let them do their own thing.” She takes a breath and stares expectantly.
“What?” I choke, blink rapidly and run my one sweaty hand over the top of my pant leg, clearly suffering from an anxiety attack. “No, no, please tell me you’re kidding.”
She shakes her head, “I need you Angel.”
“What about the lifesaver family?” I say with what feels like the last bit of breath left in my lungs. I take a deep breath and debate the hell out of her idea. “Wouldn’t they be a better choice? I mean they are already working with similar models, and it would make more sense to let them stay with their friends instead of me. Right? Besides, I’m injured and on serious pain medication. I’m not even allowed to operate heavy equipment so dealing with living things is probably forbidden too. It isn’t good parenting to let someone like me watch your precious little minions…um children. Wait,” I gasp. “What if there was some freak accident? I can’t handle puke or other gross bodily functions.” she busts out laughing while I slip into full blown paranoia. “The apocalypse could hit and then what? You’ve left your children with me. I will lose my shit Natalie and they will become zombie food.”
“Calm down,” she says stifling her laugh and pulling a serious look.
“Okay, but don’t freak me out like that again.” I say wild-eyed and feeling the soft skin under my eye twitching.
“We may be moving soon,” she says changing the subject. Thank goodness.
“Really?” I say pressing a finger to the skin under my left eye trying to make it stop jumping. “Like to a new house or away?”
She smiles before saying, “Back to Baltimore.”
“Oh,” I’m shocked by this answer. “I thought Wise was never going back there again.”
“He told me that he wants to move the kids back to a good neighborhood. The school system here is okay, but he wants the kids to have a better education and back home they set higher quality standards on their students. I agree with him, but I’m just so happy about the idea that I couldn’t care less what the reason is for going home.”
Feeling relieved about them leaving this dark world behind I exhale loudly. “If that’s what will make you happy then I’m all for the idea of you going back home. You know I’ve never been north of Virginia.” I smirk when her eyes light up. “Maybe I’ll visit.”
“I would love that. And I know the kids would too.” She stands to put her dish away and refill her glass.
The back door bursts open and in comes a crying Simone with Dean holding her hand. “Mommy,” she cries at a level that only dogs can hear. “Mommy I got a boo boo.” Dean releases her hand and she runs into her mommy’s open arms.
“What happened to her Dean?” Natalie asks, running her hands over Simone’s hair and down her face, whipping away the tears.
Dean shrugs, completely uninterested in the details of why his little sister is so upset. “She was playing over by the tree house and just started screaming. She pointed to her leg and cried so I brought her back home.”
Natalie reaches down to Simone’s leg, finding a large dark red bump. “Did something bite you Sweetie?”
“A spider,” Simone shrills, burying her face into Natalie’s chest. I slap my free hand over one ear and press my other against my shoulder hard, trying to stop the ringing in my head.
“Get my keys,” she says calmly to Dean. “I need to take her to the doctor. Do you want to ride with us?” she asks me.
“Uh no,” I snap, shaking my head furiously. “I don’t do doctors. Another reason why I’m not the one to keep your kids, Natalie,” I point out, grabbing my cell, sending Decks a message to come get me now.
“Okay, I think you’re overreacting a bit.”
“Exactly,” I demand with a wild head bob and pointing a finger toward myself. “Major over-reactor here, and not a good role model for those.” I gesture toward the two kids staring all wild-eyed at me during my freak out.
“Okay, fine. Just lock up when you leave,” she huffs, carrying Simone out to their SUV with a very disappointed Dean dragging his feet behind them. “Let’s go son.”
They leave me standing at the front door staring out at the empty street. No response from Decks after twenty minutes so I call for a taxi to pick me up. Twenty minutes later I lock up the Kingston residence and give the driver the address to Decks place.
“It’s a little cool back here. Would you mind turning up the heat?” I ask the middle age man driving the cab.
“Sure thang,” he drawls with a heavy southern accent. “You let me know if ya git too hot back yonder.”
“I will. Thank you.”
When we arrive at Decks house I remember that my keys are lying on the nightstand beside my bed and Decks isn’t home. It’s freezing outside now that the sun is dropping over the horizon and my teeth are beginning to chatter already.
I glance over at Blues house and sigh, “I can’t do it.” I tell myself. “I need to stay away from him so that I can stay focused, convince Decks that he needs to work with me and then get the hell away from this life.”
I send another text to Decks and wait for his response. Fifteen minutes later I have my hand poised at the front door of Blues mansion when the door opens before I have a chance to knock.
“I was wondering if you were going to be stubborn and stand out in the freezing weather all night or come over here,” Blues says with a fiery determination glowing in his sapphire eyes and a sexy as hell smile tugging at the corners of his sublime lips.
“You saw me?”
He nods. “Saw when the taxi dropped you off and watched as you debated something before you finally decided to walk over.” He steps back, holding the door open for me. “Come on. Let’s get you warmed up.” After closing the door he reaches over and wraps his hand tenderly around my forearm and draws me against him. “God I’ve missed you, Doll,” he confesses seconds before lowering his mouth to mine.
My body sways into him naturally, like an object being drawn by a gravitational pull toward the center of the earth, so utterly impossible to stop. He kisses me breathless before slipping his warm lips across my jaw line and down my neck. He releases my forearm, wrapping me into a strong embrace and hugs me carefully. My heart plummets into my gut completely consumed and weighed down by his tender affections. His lips softly move along my neck as he nuzzles into my hair.
What Blues is doing to me right now is breaking down every bit of strength I have worked so hard on lately. I have kept my mind focused and my body away from him intentionally so that I am not preoccupied with kinky sex scenarios that I really want to experiment with him. This though is something so much worse than physics and the law of attraction. Blues is reaching into my soul and making me care for him and that fucking sucks.
Chapter Forty-Three
Sitting beside a roaring fire in the oversized kitchen, I sip gourmet hot chocolate while Blues moves around so comfortably while preparing a large pot of soup. His mansion has a modern touch with the stainless steel appliances, but the old world decor eclipses the sterile feeling they give off, making it feel warm and inviting.
For the life of me, I cannot keep my eyes off the sex-god in front of me. He is so good-looking with his hair an unintentional rumpled mess. Blues has many hairstyles, each one is flattering, but there’s something really charming about his tousled appearance tonight. His fitted gray tee-shirt and faded blue jeans do not match the setting, but he’s so attractive that he wouldn’t be out of place in a damn
garbage truck wearing a pink tutu. I smile at that thought.
“Tell me something, Angel,” Blues says catching my grin and mimicking it while he chops an assortment of vegetables on a cutting board. “I can tell that you are so much more than you want people to see.” I tilt my head at that odd statement. “It’s obvious you are intelligent, naturally goodhearted, and sexy as hell. What are you doing in this shithole world and why are you with Decks?” The smooth-tongued devil draws me in so naturally that I begin answering him before I realize what I’m doing. Luckily I somehow manage to stick with my cover story.
“I was raised in this world Blues. I guess you could say I’m a product of my surroundings.” I shrug watching as his eyebrows pinch together. “Don’t worry. I was a good girl growing up, but the rebel in me needed a release, something that could keep my mind off all the bullshit that life was throwing at me. You know?”
He nods, keeping his eyes fixed on the knife in his hand slicing through a bundle of fresh green beans. “I get that, but…there’s something else, something deeper than just being a rebellious teen that drinks from her peer’s cup of Kool-Aid and becomes a throw away. I can’t put my finger on it, but you don’t have the fixated lust for this life burning in your eyes like almost every other junkie.”
“I’m clean,” I tell him quickly defending myself for some strange reason. Why don’t I want him to think that badly about me? “I mean I’m on probation and you know how random the color code can be. I won’t go back to jail.”
“That’s good,” he says, while chewing on a piece of carrot. “You weren’t high the night I met you either.”
“No,” I nod, watching his jaw working hard and then my gaze drops to his neck as he swallows. “Oh,” I mumble, but recover with a cough to cover my embarrassing moan. Dammit, he’s distracting me again. I need to be the one asking all the personal questions. “What about you, Blues?”
He turns away, dropping the chopped veggies into the rapidly boiling water before answering, “I was raised, too privileged.” He shrugs still facing away from me. “It went straight to my head. I tried to straighten up for a short time by becoming an acceptable member of society.” He turns around and I see a strange darkening in his eyes. “But that life isn’t possible for someone like me. Being born into the life of luxury, I was raised by my father to be expectant and to always desire more than what I actually deserve.” That sounded rehearsed and he does not come across as the person he’s describing.
Using his words against him, I smirk and toss back, “I don’t see it.”
“Behave, Doll,” He winks and his grin becomes wicked, “I’m trying to make you something nice to eat, that will warm you. But I will gladly let it burn and take you to my bed where I damn sure will have you heated up in seconds.” Oh damn. No need to go upstairs after that threat. I’m completely flushed needing him to switch on the air conditioning before I have a heat stroke. My face burns as hot as the fire behind me so I know my reaction is clearly visible to Blues. “Fuck, you liked my threat,” he growls deep and low, stalking around the island. Towering above me he slides the back of his knuckles over my bright red left cheek. “You are so beautiful and I am totally falling for you, Doll.”
“What?” I pant confused by the thrilling combination of his threat, the feel of his skin on mine and his confession. I stare into his eyes, seeing more than desire, and the fierceness of it causes me to swallow hard. I move his hand away from my cheek, but he captures me and draws my fingers to his lips. He kisses the tip of each before placing his dark lips in the center of my palm tenderly. “Blues…” I moan completely enraptured by him.
“Angel,” he whispers against my hot flesh. Crystallized dark blues eyes hold my world still on the apex of something reckless and necessary. “Stay with me.”
My eyes widen from his tenderness and my personal fear of his request, making me pull away from his hold. “I can’t.” Shaking my head slowly, I add, “It’s just too complicated right now. Decks is…well, he hasn’t been acting like himself lately and I don’t think it would be wise to poke that bear.”
He watches me for a moment and I see him relent as he thinks about my statement. “Do you know what’s going on with him?” he asks changing the subject.
If Decks is using Ryske and Blues isn’t aware then I’m not sure if breaking that kind of news to him is a good idea. Shaking my head and lowering my gaze, I say softly, “I really don’t know.” He continues to watch me before finally stepping away and wordlessly returning back to the pot on top of the stove.
Even with the fire blazing in the room, I feel a temperature drop with him moving so far away from me. I know it’s completely bollocks for me to fancy him, but I think his description of how he is falling for me is an accurate analogy for what I’m suffering with too. However, mine is a fall from grace that began the moment I screwed Blues rather than trifling and unrequited emotions
Blues stirs the soup remaining silent for several minutes. He finally turns to me and I see that he is pulling a fake smile while he thrust his hand through his messy hair, clearly struggling with appeasing my earlier request. Needing to calm the odd guilt rolling around in the pit of my belly I change the subject.
“What did you do during this acceptable member of society stint?” I ask watching him intently and seeing a spark flash in his eyes. Could it be pride? Now I’m even more curious and need to know what pushed Ethan out of law enforcement and right into the opposing world of drugs.
“I’m not sure that’s acceptable table discussion,” Blues says, pulling up a barstool and sitting next to me. His knee brushes against my thigh and I force myself to remain in control.
“Let me be the judge of that,” I say playfully.
He bobs his head, staring at my cast laying on the counter top and starts, “Believe it or not, I was an officer of the law.” There is definite pride in his voice. Since I’m also a cop I recognize that tone easily, but play it off with feigning shock. He glances at me and continues, “Yeah, that’s the reaction I always get when I tell people that I used to be one of the good guys.” He chuckles softly, glancing over at our meal still cooking. “I had a good run with it, but something just…snapped and I decided I was done with all the goody two-shoes bullshit.” His demeanor shifts instantly and a bitterness blooms in his voice. “About a year ago I decided to accept Nelson’s offer to be on his payroll. My father was one of his closest associate so it didn’t take long for me to move up the ladder, so to speak. And here I am…one of the most powerful men in our organization.” He winks, but he doesn’t look happy about being on the penthouse level of the drug-world food chain.
“What happened? I mean with the police job.”
He turns back to me and holds me in a frozen gaze before he finally says, “That’s a story for another day, Doll.”
I’m totally disappointed. I was hoping that with his confession of feelings for me that he would give me more on what pushed him into this screwed up life. Deciding that I want to make Blues an ally I don’t push the issue and soon our conversation drifts to non-threatening topics.
“Fifty yard line tickets?” Blues asks smiling with a renewed sparkle in his eyes. “You have to do it.”
“No,” I say dragging the word out while shaking my head dramatically. “You don’t understand. I’m like allergic to kids or maybe it’s more like their allergic to me. Either way, I don’t need that hassle. Natalie and Wise will find the best person to keep their kids alive while they go to the Super Bowl.”
“What if I offer to help?”
I arch both my eyebrows toward the ceiling before I laugh, “You, me and two kids. That’s a riot. No. I don’t think that’s a good idea, Blues.”
“What? You don’t think I could keep them alive for forty-eight hours? I think you underestimate me, Doll. I am a people person and kids adore me. You and I together would be the perfect tag team against a couple of kids.” He flashes a lopsided grin so adorable I actually think he might be
telling me the truth about his powers of persuasion. Maybe I should accept his challenge so I can see that side of him for myself.
Chapter Forty-Four
Brunch with the Kennedy’s is the only reason I am up so dang early on a Sunday. I straighten my hair and apply a light amount of makeup, looking natural and actually feeling more like myself since starting this assignment. The outfit I’ve chosen is a fitted butterscotch colored cowl neck shirt with dark blue jeans and leopard print heels. I grab my ivory trench coat and walk downstairs.
After eating dinner with Blues last night, we sat on the couch and talked about random things, nothing personal, while eighties hair band’s songs rocked out in the background. It was so easy and comfortable being with him that my guard dropped and I forgot for a while that he’s the bad guy. About an hour later Decks showed up smelling like some nasty, cheap perfume mixed with marijuana smoke which leads me to believe he’s getting his fix rather than waiting for me, like he promised. Being with both men at once is a challenge to say the least. My body has completely opposite effects for them. I am repulsed by Decks and my body reacts as such. My prickly skin and the hair standing on the back of my neck cautions me to avoid him at all cost. Unfortunately, I need him and must push down the flight scenario that my mind is encouraging. But with Blues around, the goose bumps and tingling he ignites with a simple look in my direction exposes me as a wanton slut. I battle with everything in me trying to convince myself that he isn’t turning me on, but it’s all a big fat ass lie. And after spending the evening with him, I am disheveled and hungrier for him more than ever before.
“Good morning,” I say walking into Decks office. He sits quietly staring out the large window over the backyard.