by Kallysten
“Do you want to see?” Leo offered, as neutrally as he could.
“It’s okay,” she said.
Without looking at either of them, she crouched next to the sofa and started to gather the chess pieces, setting them back in their box.
“I don’t think Anando was very happy I tagged along,” Brett said after a beat.
Lisa’s eyes darted to him, so quickly that Brett didn’t notice. She said nothing while Leo asked, “Why do you think so?”
Brett shrugged. “When it was just the two of us, he was rather emphatic about claiming the baby as his.”
Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised Leo, but it did. The Anando he knew was rather laid back, with no place for jealousy in his life or in his lovers. But Leo would have thought the same was true about Lisa until she proved otherwise. The situation had brought changes for all of them, himself included. Until the previous night, he’d never dared to confront Lisa head on.
“Do you think there’s gonna be trouble?” he asked Brett.
A muscle twitched in Brett’s jaw, and it became painfully obvious to Leo that Brett was trying very hard not to look at Lisa, who had never taken so much care before in arranging the pieces just so in their box.
“I don’t know,” Brett said. “I’m not going to make anything of it. I hope he won’t either.”
Standing up, Lisa left the board and pieces on the sofa as she declared, “I’m going to take a shower before the club opens.”
She walked away, and for all that she was barefoot each of her steps seemed much too loud. Brett winced as he watched her go. Only after the water had started to run in the bathroom did he say in a whisper, “She doesn’t want to hear about any of it, does she?”
Resting his hand on Brett’s cheek, Leo turned his face back to him. “Give her time,” he murmured.
“I’ll give her anything she wants or needs.” The fervor in Brett’s words was almost heartbreaking. He paused then asked, now frowning, “What about you? I should have asked before, but… Are you okay with all of it?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Brett grimaced. “Anando isn’t. Lisa isn’t either.”
“Maybe I’m more easygoing than they are. Maybe not having a kid was a regret I’ve tried to forget over the years. And maybe now I’ll get a chance to spoil him or her rotten.”
The ghost of a smile flickered on Brett’s lips. “I think you’ll have serious competition for that.”
CHAPTER 16
The blood Lisa had warmed was cooling down, yet she remained still, the porcelain mug from Brett’s alma mater forgotten in her hands. She stood in front of the fridge, unable to tear her eyes away from the invitation affixed to it with a plain round magnet.
Done in shades of pink, the invitation gave the date and time of a baby shower. That very day at that very hour, in fact. The location indicated was the club. The party was supposedly thrown by ‘friends of Virginia,’ though Lisa didn’t know if she herself was supposed to be included in that group. If she was, she had not participated in organizing that party, nor did she plan to attend.
None of this mattered much to her. Instead, what she couldn’t tear her eyes from was the black and white photograph in the middle of the postcard, surrounded by a pink frame: a sonogram.
Every time her eyes had fallen on that card in the past couple of weeks, she had told herself that sonograms were truly ugly things. How was anyone supposed to recognize anything from those shapeless blobs? They looked like ink stains, gray shadows imprecise and grainy.
But today, out of the blue, her mind had recognized something in those blobs, a shape she couldn’t unsee now that she had seen it. It wasn’t just the abstract picture she had made it out to be. It was her first peek at the being that might soon gain so much importance in all their lives.
No, not soon; that child already was important. She’d already created tensions, by her sheer existence. She might cause more in the future. Even now, a simple picture of her had Lisa’s mind in shambles.
Very slowly, without quite realizing what she was doing, she dropped one hand to her belly. Her hand was warm from holding the mug, and she could almost have pretended that her entire body was as well; that she was still alive.
That she, too, could create life with the man—men—she loved.
The fantasy was more bitter than sweet.
She raised the mug to her lips and drank deep, closing her eyes as she tilted her head back. She turned away from the fridge before opening her eyes again.
The front door opened, and muted music and chatter drifted inside before the door closed again. She looked to see Leo coming toward her. He didn’t say anything, but when his eyes flicked down, Lisa realized her hand was still pressed to her stomach. She dropped it at once and went to the sink under the pretext of washing the empty mug.
“How’s the party?” she asked, struggling to keep her voice cool and composed.
Leo still didn’t say a word. Instead, he came up behind her and slipped both arms around her waist, pulling her tight against him. Usually when he did that, he was hard, and his cock pressed against her ass. Not this time. Neither did his scent hold the musk of desire. Instead, it was all jumbled notes, the sourness of regret mixing with the sweet scent of joy.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
Lisa shut off the water and shrugged. Rather than loosening his grip, Leo held her tighter.
“Why wouldn’t—” she started, but her voice broke.
Her eyes started to prickle. Lisa wouldn’t cry. She refused to. Shutting her eyes tight, she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself the same way she would have if she had still been human.
Leo shifted his hold on her, turning her toward him. She lowered her head rather than let him see her and pressed her face to the crook of his neck. He raised a hand to the back of her head and held her there, tight against him. Without thinking about what she was doing, Lisa let her fangs drop and tugged at Leo’s shirt, exposing his neck.
When she hesitated, he tilted his head, giving her his silent permission to bite. She did so with no finesse and pulled a hiss from Leo’s lips. He didn’t try to stop her, however, and caressed her hair as she drank deep, greedy mouthfuls, uncaring that blood was trickling down his skin and staining his t-shirt.
Sharing blood was as normal to them as sharing a bed. She could hardly remember the first time they’d done it. They’d been little more than fledglings, vampires for no more than a couple of weeks. Sinking her fangs into Leo then had felt natural, even more so than drinking from humans the way their Sire wanted them to do.
That first time, Leo had frozen under her mouth, then asked, when she pulled away, why she had done it. Rather than answering, she offered him her neck. He soon understood, and after that, they drank from each other every few nights. They didn’t do it as often these days, but the same comfort always washed over Lisa when they did, whether it was her blood sliding down Leo’s throat or his blood on her tongue.
She drank as much as she dared to, which was more than she usually took from him. When she stopped and pressed a closed-mouth kiss to his torn flesh, he let out a long, quiet sigh and asked again, “Are you all right?”
The bite had steadied her nerves, and she felt enough in control of herself to pull back and look at him.
“I have no reason not to be,” she said.
Leo regarded her with eyes that seem to know too much and understand her too well: better than she did herself, maybe.
“You don’t have to lie to me,” he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “I get it. I wanted kids too, long ago.”
Lisa shook her head. “That’s not…”
She didn’t finish the lie. Instead, she rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes again.
“I never regretted being what I am,” she murmured. “I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t want it, but this is me, and I don’t regret it.”
“Neither do I,” Leo replied. He was stroki
ng her hair again. “But we can still regret those things that will never be. It doesn’t make us any weaker. And neither does living vicariously through the ones we love.”
She couldn’t help but snort at that. “You’re telling me you meant it when you said this kid will be yours and mine as well as theirs?”
“Yes,” Leo said. “I meant it. I will love that little girl as though she’s mine and yours. Or yours and Brett.”
“I wish it were that easy,” Lisa was shocked to hear herself say.
Leo’s body shook with a quiet chuckle. “Why wouldn’t it be easy? It’s not like loving her will mean you love Brett any less.” His voice dropped to a questioning whisper. “Or me.”
She pulled back to look at him. The fragile uncertainty on his features surprised her. She wasn’t used to Leo being anything other than sure of himself anymore. Her throat tightened, and she couldn’t have said a word at that moment to save her life. But she could and did lean forward to press a gentle kiss to his mouth.
She reached for his left hand at her waist and pulled it away so she could turn his ring between her fingers, the way he had done to her a few weeks back to remind her of what that ring meant. He deepened the kiss briefly, then pulled back.
“Are you ready to come down?” he asked. “It’d mean a lot to Brett and me if you joined us.”
Lisa didn’t know how she could say no to that.
She wasn’t dressed for a party, but Leo helped her pick clothes. The black pencil skirt fell past her knees, and the thin straps of the top crisscrossed in a lattice over the front and back. Its grass-green shade matched the shirt Leo put on to replace his stained t-shirt and would also match Brett’s eyes, and while Leo didn’t comment on the color, she was sure it wasn’t a coincidence.
He handed her earrings, too, dangling carved seashells he had bought for her long ago, long before Brett was even born. She slipped on high-heeled shoes, and they held hands as they walked down to the club.
With all the lights on, the room was much brighter than it was at night when customers were there. It made the club look like a different place. Another difference was the presence of pink and white balloons everywhere, tied to chairs, the bar, and the walls. Brett and Leo’s work, she knew. She felt a little guilty for not having come down to help them set this up.
Music played from an iPod plugged into portable speakers set on the bar counter. She recognized it as Anando’s, and searched for him through the two dozen people or so chattering around the room.
Most were women, dressed in bright colors and brighter grins, glasses of colorful fruit cocktail in hands. Before she could find Anando or the guest of honor, Brett approached her and Leo where they had stopped by the door. He beamed at her.
“I’m glad you came down,” he said, then pressed a kiss to her cheek.
They each held one of her hands and led her to the bar, where they picked up cocktail glasses.
In the midst of the bubbling guests, Lisa found herself brought back to the night and party that had started it all. The difference was that there would be no playing tonight, and Lisa was glad for that.
Lisa usually enjoyed an atmosphere of games, chatter, and music, but this time she remained on the edge of the group, encouraging Brett and Leo to go and mingle but refusing to do the same. She didn’t know these people, and she had no desire to get to know them. And as for the two people she did know…
She nodded at Virginia from afar and received a tentative nod in return, but made no effort to go talk to her, and did not mind that Virginia did not come to her, either. However, when she saw Anando edging away from the others to help himself to another drink, she went to him.
“Having fun?” she asked, holding her empty glass out for him to refill.
He didn’t answer but gave her a long look before taking her glass and pouring juice into it.
“If you ever hurt her again,” he said as he handed the glass back to her, “you and I will have some serious issues.”
She blinked, taken aback. Other than the night she had gone to talk to Virginia, she’d never seen his eyes so cold before. He was always so prompt to smile…
She observed him for a few seconds, watched his gaze dart behind her and expected to see Virginia there when she turned. Instead, Brett was standing a few yards away, talking with two women, two friends of Virginia’s, Lisa supposed.
He was at the center of things, when Anando, Virginia’s companion, was to the side. Insight flashed through Lisa, even more striking when she realized his feelings were closer to hers than she had imagined.
“I never intended to hurt her,” she said. “Just like I’m sure she never intended to hurt you by involving Brett in this. It wasn’t your choice, was it?”
Anando snorted. “If it’d been up to me, he’d never have known about this child.”
“Yeah? Well, get over it. What’s done is done, and neither you nor I can undo it.”
His eyes were as sharp as his fangs when they came back to her. Lisa met them without flinching, then raised her glass. She didn’t say anything, but he must have heard her offer of truce anyway because after a pause he clinked his glass against hers.
“Silly humans,” she said before taking a sip.
Anando shook his head, a tiny smile back on his lips. “No, silly vampires.”
Maybe he had a point.
* * * *
Something was bothering Virginia and had been bothering her for a couple of weeks—ever since the baby shower. It was driving Anando crazy.
She seemed subdued, and that felt wrong to Anando. Ever since the first time he had met her, she’d always been vibrant. She’d been hesitant at times, even shy, and sometimes even wildly out of her depth, but never, ever subdued. She’d never smiled a little absently at him when he told her she was beautiful or that he loved her. She’d never sat in the yard during the day, out in the sunshine where he couldn’t go to her. And she had also never refused to answer when he asked her a question.
Not that she had refused so far; she changed the subject before he could get to an actual question. He hadn’t pushed, afraid to upset her even more, but it couldn’t go on like this.
A week before Thanksgiving, she came home from her last day of work. Her due date was in late February, but she had decided to use the vacation days she had accumulated. Anando had cooked a nice dinner for her as a small celebration, but when she walked in and gave him another of those absentminded smiles, he decided that he’d waited long enough. Taking her hand, he led her to the living room, and they sat together.
“What’s going on?” she asked. She sounded tired.
“I’d like you to tell me.” He was still holding on to her hand. This time, he wouldn’t let her pull away. “What happened at the party? Did someone… Did Lisa say something to you?”
Her body tensed, and he was sure she would bolt or get away from him and his question under one pretext or another.
“Virginia, please. You’re upset. Tell me what’s going on so I can help.”
“Lisa didn’t say anything to me,” she said after a short moment. “You did.”
Confusion spread through Anando, murky and cold. “Me? I didn’t—”
“Well, you didn’t tell me. That’s the problem. You told her, but not me. If you didn’t want Brett involved, you could have said so. I asked you if you were okay with it, and you said yes.”
Tears were gleaming in her eyes, thickening her words. Anando wanted to draw her into his arms, but more than that he wanted to clear this up.
“I said yes,” he said caressing her cheek with his fingertips, “because I could see that was what you wanted.”
She shook her head, and his hand fell away. “Didn’t we agree it can’t work that way?” she murmured, her voice still trembling. “We said we both have to want something when we’re in bed, and it has to be the same for everything else.”
Anando’s heart, as still as it was, felt like it was tightening. All he’d wanted w
as to please her, but instead…
“I just…” He sighed. “You were so happy. I didn’t want to do anything to ruin that.”
“I still am.” She flipped her hand under his so they were palm to palm. “Happy to be here, with you. You said it yourself from the very first day: this baby is yours.”
She led his hand to her belly and rested it there, as if touch would reinforce the link they shared. Little feet kicked under his fingers. It wasn’t the first time he had felt this, but somehow until now it had never felt so real.
“We’re selfish,” he said. “Me, Lisa, even Leo for that matter. Any vampire who falls in love with a human. We cling to what we have because we know it won’t last forever.”
“Anando…”
His heart ached at the expression on her face. He pushed on, as difficult as the words were to admit.
“Part of me wanted to keep you, both of you, to myself. But at the same time, I knew you were right. Brett has the right to know her, and she’ll have the right to know him, too. Just because I wish it were different doesn’t change that, and I know it.”
Her eyes were gleaming with tears, but she offered him a tiny smile. “I would have liked that. If it’d been just the two of us involved, I mean.”
He smiled back. “I’m sorry. Can you forgive—”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” she cut in at once.
He kissed her then, putting his regret into the light pressure of his lips upon hers. He couldn’t promise he wouldn’t feel possessive again, but he would do his best. When Virginia ended the kiss and gave him a wider, warmer smile, the past two weeks vanished like mist in the sun.
CHAPTER 17
A car rumbled down the street, and Virginia’s heart jumped. She sat up on the sofa and listened, expecting the car to slow down and stop—but no, it was continuing on its way. The baby kicked again. For the past couple of hours, those tiny feet had been running a marathon.