by Olivia Jake
If nothing else, he would have a visual reminder of what they had shared. After the first print came out, she decided to make a separate set for herself. What she had printed represented less than a week together, but the images captured feelings that had no bearing in time. After the final print came out, and after Alex looked one more time, checking to make sure that the cropping, the output, the everything was perfect, she finished by placing all of them into a large box and put a note on top that read:
Marco,
I don’t know how a simple “I’m sorry” could ever express how much I regret hurting you. But they say a picture is worth a thousand words. So I hope these reminders of happier times will show you what words can’t convey.
Con amor,
Alex
Alex messengered the large box to Marco’s house, making sure that the messenger waited and got a signature for it. The last thing she needed was the box to be left outside and found by paparazzi or a nosey neighbor.
Alex got an email confirmation that Marco himself signed for the package, producing both relief and anxiety at the same time. She knew that she had no right to expect anything from him. But when the hours passed and her phone didn’t ring, she was starting to regret her decision, and worried that she had made the wrong choice. Until her doorbell rang. She shook her head and rolled her eyes, she should have known better than to think he’d call.
Alex opened the door with trepidation. She hadn’t planned what the next step after the photos would be. But seeing him standing there, she had to hold herself back from leaping into his arms. The pull was so strong, it was like nothing she had ever felt with anyone else. Even still, she couldn’t read his expression. All he did was stare intensely at her as she listened to her heart pounding in her ears. Annie and Ansel broke the mood only slightly as they happily greeted him, tails wagging, noses sniffing. Marco couldn’t help but smile down at them, softening as he pet their heads. But when he looked back up at Alex, his expression turned serious again and he bit his lip as he shook his head and ran his hands through his hair.
“I’m sorry, Marco. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know how else to say it.” Alex said, unsure of what she could say or do, but worried that whatever it was, it seemed it wouldn’t ever be enough to regain his trust in her.
He finally took a step inside and closed the door. Only then did he reach out his arms and pull Alex into a tight, silent hug. After embracing for minutes, he finally broke the hug, still not having said a word, and holding her hand, led her to the couch. Finally, once they both sat, he spoke.
“Alexandra, I have missed you so much.” He paused. It seemed like just saying these words somehow pained him. “I’ve had so much time to think about you, about our relationship.” He paused again, each time, he looked down as though he had to fortify himself to continue talking. Each pause felt like an eternity to Alex. “And I can’t tell you how much you hurt me, how angry I was, I am. I never knew someone else could upset me so much.”
“I’ve told you I’m sorry, Marco. I’m not sure what else I can say.” Was all she could get out before he continued.
“I know you are. I just don’t know if that’s enough to change things.”
“You came over here to tell me how upset you are? To make me feel even worse than I already do? To punish me more than I’ve already punished myself?”
“Maybe.” He admitted, and looked down at his hands. Then he took her hands into his. She started to pull away, but he held them in his until she relaxed. “But I also came over here because I know that only someone who means as much to me as you do, only someone who I love as much as I love you, someone who I have given my heart to, only that someone could hurt me like that.”
“I, I don’t know what you’re saying, Marco.”
“I’m saying, Alexandra, that if you ever lie to me again, or hurt me like that, or don’t trust me enough to understand you and stand by your decisions and support them, even if I may not agree with them, if you ever treat me like that again, I won’t come back. No matter how much I love you.”
“Are you saying you want to try again?” Alex asked softly.
“No.” Marco said, and Alex’s face dropped as she again tried to pull her hands out of his grip.
“I don’t want to try again. I want to be again. I want to be with you. Like a real couple. Out in public. And in private. And everywhere in between.” Finally, Marco smiled a sad smile as he gently lifted Alex’s hands to his mouth to kiss first one palm and then the next.
Alex felt her stomach was going to drop out of her. She was frozen upon hearing his words. It was what she wanted to hear, desperately so.
“But I’m serious, Alexandra, about being a couple. Couples communicate, and discuss things, even unpleasant things. And I know that being with me isn’t going to be easy. I know that. I know I’m asking a lot of you. Your whole life will change. I know being together will be worth it. But you need to know it too.”
“I feel like you’re threatening me, Marco.” Alex said softly. “Like you’re challenging me to see if I really want you.”
“I just want to know that if we’re going to do this, we both go into it with our eyes open.”
He was right. They both needed to know what they were getting back into. Perhaps when it started, neither knew how serious it would become. And she needed to make sure his eyes were open to everything too.
“Marco, I want to be with you, but you have to know, I’m never going to want children. Ever. And if that’s something you want, you’re going to resent me if I hold you back from something so important. Your eyes have to be open too.”
Finally he softened, the serious edge evaporating as one of his trademark grins spread across his beautiful face, “Well, you said you’d never date an actor or get on a small plane, and look at what happened there.”
“Marco, I’m serious.”
“I know, mi amor. And I want to be with you. I don’t know about children, I really don’t. I think I would like to have them one day, but it’s so far off my radar right now, I can’t even imagine it. My career is just starting to take off, and I don’t think I’d be able to devote what I want to devote to it if we were to have children now. Someday, maybe, but it’s not something I am so sure in my heart about that I know. But you, from the start, I knew.”
Alex had heard Marco say before that he knew what he felt about her from the start, but she couldn’t understand how anyone could be so sure of what they felt, so freely willing to give their love to someone they barely knew. She knew that he meant it as she hadn’t ever heard him say anything just for effect, but still, it was a concept she couldn’t grasp. “How could you have known from the start? How is that possible?”
“You don’t believe in love at first sight?” he asked, his tone now turning sexy and soft as he pulled her into his lap. God, it felt so good to be in his arms again, as much as Alex didn’t want to talk anymore, she had to know how he could be so sure of something like this.
“I, I guess not. I mean, I was attracted to you from the beginning, but…”
“But you knew I was an actor so you didn’t even consider it. You listened to your mind instead of your heart.”
Alex looked up at him and smiled, “You are a romantic and a poet, Marco Flores.”
“I don’t know, Corazon. I just know what I feel. And I felt it for you that first night. You were so cute the way you handled Kimberly, you made me laugh and smile almost the second I met you. And so strong and sexy, so clear about what you wanted us to do, so confident, yet you blushed so easily, ay, dios mio.” He kissed the top of her head and then continued, “But it was more than that. You were the first person, the first woman I’d met in this town who was real. None of the pretense, nothing fake about you.”
He laughed and then said, “Ay, and then when you came to my house, oh, that was it. You weren’t afraid of my dogs, and most people, dios, most people act like Jesús acted.” He laughed out loud at the memory. “But
not you, you weren’t just brave, you were respectful and knowledgeable.” His hands started caressing her torso, and then slowly made their way up to her breasts, “And then, oh, I thought I was going to lose it when you got up after being on the wet pavement, oh, Alexandra. It took all the control I had to make sure I didn’t get hard right then and there.”
He was making small circles lightly tracing around her nipples. “You’re strong, but you’re also emotional. It broke my heart seeing you in that airport, on that plane. I wanted to take care of you, to hold you, but you had Jesús…” he paused, still making little circles, almost idly tracing her nipples, making them hard as he continued to tell her why he loved her.
“And you’re professional and successful, but you don’t take yourself too seriously. And dios, you open your home to every animal in the neighborhood, so even if I didn’t know it otherwise, I know you have a huge heart.”
“Even after what I did to you?” she asked softly.
“I know you didn’t do it to me. I know you didn’t do it to hurt me, amor. I know you couldn’t, wouldn’t do that.” He paused, clearly still pained. He took a deep breath and looked at her with such sad eyes, Alex would have done anything to change the way she handled things.
“It did hurt, but I know you did what you felt was the right thing, what you had to do. I wish you had told me. I wish I could have been there for you. But I know you did what you did because you want what’s right. For you, for us, for the baby. I don’t want to bring a baby into this world unless he’s completely wanted.” He stopped stroking her breasts and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “I know any baby of ours would be loved though, I have no doubt of that. But it’s not something you should be forced into. It’s not fair to anyone. I just wish you would have told me.”
“I know, and I’m s”
“Shhh, I know you are. No more apologies.” He kissed her head again, and turned her towards him.
“Thank you for the pictures.” He grinned.
“You like them?” she grinned back.
“I love them.”
“Me too. I made a set for myself, just in case.”
“Just in case, what?”
“In case you didn’t want to try again. I made a set as a reminder of the best time in my life.”
He grinned and said, “I’m glad you feel that way. It was special, wasn’t it?” he asked rhetorically and Alex nodded.
As if a lightbulb went off, Marco said with relief, “Now I can finally talk to mi abuela.” Alex looked puzzled “I knew if I talked with her and told her we weren’t together, she’d probably get on a plane and drag me to your house, or you to mine. I feel so bad, I haven’t called them for so long, but you know her, she’d see right through me.”
“Let’s call them now, before you make love to me.” Alex said with a mischievous grin, which he returned but shook his head.
“I’ve waited this long, they can wait till tomorrow. Come, let’s go to bed.”
Marco held out his hand, and Alex put hers into his as they walked together down the hall to her bedroom. Once again, Alex was a bundle of nerves. She couldn’t help but feel guilty about what she did and how she hurt him. A small part of her wondered how they could just pick up where they left off after a betrayal like that. She knew what she felt for him, but she wondered how he could forgive her so easily when she still couldn’t completely forgive herself. She knew why she didn’t tell him. It wasn’t just that she was afraid he’d try to convince her otherwise. It was also because she had always lived her life alone. Since she was a teenager, she made her own decisions. She couldn’t remember the last time she had to get someone else’s input or blessing on something in her personal life. She wasn’t used to being part of a couple. She wasn’t used to discussing things.
“Mi amor…”
Alex looked up into his crystal clear blue eyes and smiled as he broke her from her thoughts and brought her back to him.
“Alexandra, you left me just then. Where did you go?” he asked tenderly as he brushed her hair from her forehead.
“My handsome mind-reader.”
“Corazon, it doesn’t take a mind-reader to see when you retreat back into your head.”
“I’m that transparent?”
Marco nodded, “At least you are to me. Perhaps I just know how to read you.”
“I’m not that complicated.”
“No, mi amor, you’re not. But complicated or not, you worry, and you live sometimes in your mind.”
“I’m used to figuring things out for myself, I’m not used to discussing and compromising.” Alex said softly, as she trailed off, clearly not finished with her thought as it was still forming in her own mind.
“But?”
“But I want to try to. I want to with you. I can’t guarantee I’ll be any good at it, but I’ll try. I promise.”
“That’s all I can ask, Alexandra. Now, are you finished being in your mind and ready to experience with your body?” he asked sexily and Alex laughed as she nodded.
Talking with Marco had already reminded her of what a wonderful man he was, but being with him erased any doubt she had as her body responded to his in a way that, before him, she never knew even existed. It wasn’t just that what he did made her feel so incredible, it was that his touch almost felt necessary. She had been without it for long enough to know that she never wanted to experience that feeling ever, ever again.
CHAPTER 28
Both Alex and Marco’s work schedules were relentless and they fell back into the same type of routine they were in prior to their breakup, ending up at one or the other’s house after work and falling into bed with little time to do much else other than make love and then fall asleep in each other’s arms. There were no stipulations on them remaining private, but with James Willen keeping Marco working 12-14 hour days, and Alex still booked solid with shoots, there wasn’t time for much anything else.
When they finally got to the photoshoot for Where the Truth Lies, it was the first time they would be together out in public, not that it wasn’t a closed set, it was. But there would be more people there than in either of their houses… and Alex wasn’t exactly sure how to act around the man who had just that morning licked her in places that made her blush when she thought about it.
Luckily, she didn’t have to know as Marco answered it for both of them. Alex was shooting her crew, who were acting as stand-ins while she tested the lighting, “Ok, Jesús, let’s try a half a stop down.” She said as she felt first, warm hands slip around her hips and then his warm body press up against her back. She immediately broke out into a grin and tilted her head to the side giving him access to her neck, which he nuzzled and kissed.
“I tried more than half a stop down with you this morning, Alexandra.” He purred into her ear, making her blush as she tried to turn around to face him, but he held her there, squeezing her tighter to him.
She turned her head up and back and he finally allowed her to turn around to face him, but wouldn’t let her out of his grip. “Marco, this isn’t very professional.” She whispered, trying to sound indignant, but the grin on her face gave her away.
“Of course it is, mi amor. It’s perfect for my playboy, womanizing image!” he teased. And if she weren’t holding her camera she’d have hit him. But all she could do was roll her eyes and laugh as he enveloped her in a tight hug.
And if anyone on set had any question about their relationship before, when Marco leaned down and kissed Alex, it became pretty clear. This wasn’t just a peck, this was about the furthest thing from that. It was the kind of kiss that love scenes were made of. Marco was making a statement, loud and clear, so that there would be no speculation or wondering. When they finally broke free, you could hear a pin drop. All eyes were on the two of them. Alex wanted to be mad at him for being so presumptuous to think that she’d be ok with this open display of affection. But the reality was that there would be no easy way for her to ease into announcing to the wor
ld that they were an item. This ‘rip the bandaid off’ type of approach was probably just as good as any other. Though she really didn’t need Jesús and the rest of the crew seeing her so intimate with someone. But, what was done was done. And now she didn’t have to worry about that.
“Well this explains a lot.” James Willen said as he walked up to the two of them. His expression was hardened, and Alex didn’t like the inference in his tone.
“Such as?” Alex asked, straightening up, preparing for battle.
“I’d wondered how you got so much out of Marco for the Vanity Fair shoot. Now I see.”
Alex was about to lay into James when Marco piped up.
“Actually, James, all the shots from that shoot happened before Alex and I were together. She wouldn’t compromise her professionalism for fear of how it might look. Her honor is just one of the many things I’ve come to love about her. It’s such a rare quality in this town, no?”
Marco said all of that with such decorum and diplomacy that he left James with no room for a sarcastic retort. Marco had effectively put him in his place without really having to, allowing James to save face while also defending the woman he loved. James thought for a moment and then rose to the level that Marco had set. He was a smart enough man to know that anything less and he’d look like the asshole that was obliquely implied.
“Indeed. Professionalism and honor are rare.” James mumbled and then looked at his phone, lifting it to his ear before anyone heard it buzz or ring and then walked away.
Marco smiled a mischievous smile at Alex, raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders, to which all she could do was roll her eyes and shake her head.
“Ok, everyone, show’s over.” She yelled to the crew, snapping everyone back to reality as they all picked up where they had left off, pre-kiss. Then Alex turned her attention to Marco.
“Should I prepare myself for any more love scenes with you today, Senor Flores? Or was that it?”