"I know, babe. It's okay to be weak, Kinzleigh. No one expects you to be strong. When you find a love like you and Breyson had there is no other option, but to break down when you lose your hold on it. The old saying goes, it's not falling down that's shameful, the shame is in not getting back up. Just remember that we love you, Kinzleigh, and we're always here to help you back up in the moments you fall."
In moments like these I'm reminded of how blessed I am. I've been through a lot of bad, but I haven't had to do it alone. For each rock I've stumbled on I've had someone there to catch me. I should thank God more for the beautiful people that I do have, because it's never promised that you won't lose them as well. I should tell more of the people I love how I feel. If I've learned one thing, it's that the best way to live is as if it's the last day you'll see the people in your life. We never know when our time is up or theirs. "I love you, Adalynn. I'm not good with saying how I feel, but I do."
"I know you do. Actions always speak louder than words. I don't have to hear you say it to know you love me. I love you too. You'll always be my best friend, Kinzleigh Baker. You weren't only brought here for Breyson. I don't know why things happened the way they did, but I believe you will get your happy ending. We just have to wait and see what exactly that is. Come on, let me finish your hair and put my dress on. The boys will be here before long."
My nerves begin to get the better of me as I think about seeing Braxton for the first time in several weeks. I usually try to avoid him and he doesn't push me. I need to bite the bullet and start attempting to move on from this constant state of sorrow and pity for myself. I keep saying I'm going to do it, yet every time I take one step forward I end up taking two steps back.
I look at myself in the mirror as Adalynn finishes getting herself ready. I almost can't believe the sight before me. You can't even tell my face was covered in bruises and my belly is barely noticeable. For once I feel beautiful without Breyson having to tell me. My hair is simple, but elegant, teased and pinned at the crown of my head; my curls falling to the center of my back. Breyson always did like my long curls. Maybe tonight I'll try to live for the both of us; experience senior prom for him and I.
I look at Adalynn and she has a white dress that does wonders with the complexion of her skin. It's a strapless with a sweetheart neckline that dips in the back into a point just above her derriere. It actually reminds me of a heart from the neckline to the fabric in the back, kind of like it would look if she were standing in a hula-hoop but in the shape of a heart. The front is covered in a clear beading that sweeps in a pattern from the neckline to her waistline. The top is fitted snugly to her skin and then flows freely at the waistline to the ending at the floor. She almost looks like a bride.
I never thought I wanted to get married and now I find myself wishing I still had the option. How things can change so drastically in such a short amount of time. "Wow. You look beautiful," I say as I take her in. Adalynn is one of the most beautiful people I know, inside and out, her and Presley both.
She brushes me off with a wave of her hand. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You don't see how beautiful you are, Sweetie. You ready to do this? The walk down the stairs is the best part. It makes you feel like Cinderella for a mere moment in time, a chance to experience the life of a fairy tale."
That might be true if my prince were standing at the bottom, but my fairy tale has already ended. I slide on my open toe heels and dab on some lip gloss as a knock sounds at the door. It opens and mom peeks her head inside. A huge smile unfolds on her face as she steps in and shuts the door. "The boys are here. You both look stunning." She walks over and lightly tousles the ends of my hair, brushing it over my shoulders. "Promise me you'll try and enjoy yourself for once. You deserve it."
"I'll try my best," I say, because it's the best answer I can give.
We begin walking towards the door and I pick up my handbag on the way. When I come to the top of the staircase I freeze. At the bottom, the boys are lined up just like they were the night of New Years Eve. From right to left it's Braxton, then Briar with Londyn standing in front of him, and Breyson? I stare and blink repetitively, but nothing changes. He stares back at me, those blue eyes boring deep into my soul. My heart rate picks up and my breathing becomes unsteady.
"Breyson?" They begin looking at him confused, but I see what I see. He doesn't move an inch, just stares at me as if I'm the most beautiful girl in the room. His smile begins to form on his face and for a moment I can't breathe.
"Kinzleigh," he says and begins walking in my direction. He starts ascending the steps one at a time.
"Breyson," I whisper again. My eyes are locked on him scared at any second he will disappear.
He reaches the top of the stairs and stops before me. "Kinzleigh, it's Simon. I'm not Breyson. Are you okay?"
The exact moment he says his name his image morphs before me. It is Simon standing in front of me. My eyes and mind have deceived me. My eyes begin to fill with tears as I realize my mistake and I throw my hand over my mouth. "I'm so sorry."
I take a step back, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me toward him. Wrapping me in his arms he whispers in my ear for only me to hear. "Don't even sweat it. I promise it's fine, Kinzleigh. Do you hear me? It's fine."
I'm completely mortified that I just publicly humiliated myself. Why can't I just be normal for one damn second of the day? Is this some kind of sick joke? Haven't I been through enough? I see him in my dreams, he consumes my thoughts every second of every day and now I'm visualizing other people as him. When can I move on and start to pick up the pieces? "Let's go. The limo is waiting," he says and takes my hand in his.
I just need to hurry up and get this night over with so I can come back home. Suddenly, I have a bad feeling about this night. I don't think things are going to go as smoothly as I originally thought. When things start off bad, they usually go down hill from there. I guess we shall see.
Chapter 14
Preston
My plans are going just as I had originally planned. Everything is falling into place nicely. I finished out my senior year at the end of December and I've been under dad's wing since then learning the company. My grandfather is announcing his retirement and my dad's promotion as well as welcoming me as CFO next month at the charity event he is hosting. I'm expected to attend as well as bring a date¸ which brings me to my next series of events: Kinzleigh.
I told her I wouldn't come back until her graduation in two weeks, but I can't stand it anymore. I want her to come back with me the second her graduation ends and I want her to have time to prepare. There is one minor bump in my plan that was unexpected: her pregnancy. I'm about to be a wealthy man and I've wanted her since I was a kid. That is one thing that hasn't changed. I'm willing to go to any means to get her.
I haven't had a woman in my bed in a few months shy of being a year. I've kept my word since that day on our family yacht and it's getting hard, but the wait for her is worth it. My hand is not doing the job anymore. I need to be inside her, only her. I need to have those muscular legs wrapped around me while I slide inside that channel of warm, wet goodness. My cock gets hard just thinking about it. I want her just as much and more today as I did the day I decided one day she would be mine. I've spent years learning her desires and what makes her tick. All my hard work is hopefully about to pay off.
It's Saturday morning and I lay here as I wait for my alarm clock to sound. I don't even know why I have it. My body always awakens before 6AM, gym time. I sit up, rubbing my fingers through my short hair.
What to do? What to do?
A large sum of money is being deposited in my account today as my signing bonus for following in my father's footsteps. There weren't many options for me growing up in a family empire that has been building for several generations. I guess it's a good thing I have such strong business skills. I look around my room in my parents' house. This isn't good enough. It's time to grow up and be a man. I can’t bring her here with
out a place to live.
I pick up my cell phone from the nightstand and check my messages: girls, girls, and more girls. They are always the same. They used to satisfy my needs, but my dick only wants one specific pussy. Until I get her, I'll never be satisfied. It’s pointless to even waste my time. Scrolling through my contacts I touch the one I'm looking for.
The phone rings twice before she picks up. "Preston? It's been a while. What’s up? You want to meet up," she says seductively. Caroline is a girl I met at UC Berkeley. The last girl I fucked, actually. She was in school for real estate while I was getting my business degree. She was a good lay for a while, but the only thing I noticed was a pretty face and blonde hair. I imagine someone else when I get off, anyway, which is why I always turn girls around when I get off. It makes it easier when I can't see their faces.
Standing, I walk toward my closet in search of clothes. "Nah, not for that anyway. I need to buy a house and figured you could use the commission. You up for it?"
I hear shuffling in the background. She must be changing locations. I hold the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I pull a pair of jeans off a hanger and a bright colored polo from the shelf as well as a pair of brown, leather shoes. "Of course. What did you have in mind?" Caroline came from a poor family. She was in school on a scholarship.
I'm not a horrible guy. I don't just fuck and run. I am friends with most of the girls I’ve hooked up with. When together I try and make friendly conversation. Guys that use girls discretely or give them false assumptions are douche bags. Why make a girl feel like a slut or used when you can come to an arrangement that benefits you both by being honest? I can admire a girl that likes uncomplicated sex. It's the only type of sex I ever got involved with.
I was raised in a wealthy family, but my mother was all for helping the less fortunate. I'm giving her a chance instead of calling up my father’s real estate agent that's in it for the lump piece of commission and nothing more. I guess you could say I take after my mother. If she satisfies me, I'll make her a well-known real estate agent in no time. "I need something a woman would like. I want you to think of your dream house and find me the top three. Set up a viewing for all three between midday and two o'clock. Call me in an hour with details. Got it?"
"Sure, Preston. I'm on my way now." I pull on my jeans and I'm about to hang up the phone when I catch her voice. "Hey, Preston?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks for this," she says. I don't have time right now to get sentimental. I've made my decision. I'm going to talk to Kinzleigh tonight. It's unfortunate of what happened to that Breyson guy, but I'm here to take care of her. She needs me now more than ever and maybe that's what will convince her to come. I know she will love me in time. She just needs the push to get there. If I've learned anything about Kinzleigh Baker it's that she is stubborn. Make her think she's in control and she'll do anything you want her too. It's not a bad thing it's just how she works. I always have and always will do anything for her.
"No problem. Talk to you soon," I say in response and disconnect the call. I have a lot to do today and that includes booking a flight to Mississippi.
Chapter 15
Kinzleigh
The limo pulls up at the large building in the middle of the city. I've been silent since we left my house. I'm no longer in any kind of party mood. I stay exhausted from the never-ending maze my mind keeps me in. It never stops reeling, not even for a second.
The limo comes to a halt and the blue neon shines through the tinted window. Who am I kidding? I can't do this...
"Are you okay?" I turn to look at Simon and I almost feel bad for him. This can't possibly be how someone would want to spend his senior prom. I thought I could see all of these people, but the truth is I don't think I can. As if he can sense the war within me he continues. "It's just pictures and then we will leave if you don't want to stay. We don't have to come back after we eat if you don't want to."
It's not like I can really back out. We all shared a limo. That would be awful for me to leave him hanging at his senior prom. I just need to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. Maybe I'll be surprised and actually have a decent time. I take a deep breath as I see couples walking inside from all directions. "Okay. We'll see how it goes."
We step out of the limo and walk towards the building.
Here goes...
Walking into the building entryway we are led to the correct room that is being utilized for our school's prom. I'm consumed with something I never would have expected as we enter. As if things couldn't have already been bad with calling Simon, Breyson now they are worse. The room has been transformed into a tropical oasis. Since I've been absent from school I never thought to ask what the prom theme was this year. The lettering on the wall reads, A Caribbean Affair.
The only thought that crosses my mind is that fate hates me. I try to breathe as I take everything in. The main lights are dimmed in the entryway and the rest are off as it's representing the night. There are white lights strung around the room, some to represent stars, and the walls are draped with black linens assuming to be the dark horizon. In one corner there is a virgin tiki bar. Tables surround the room covered in aqua blue table linens. The centerpieces are vases filled with layers of sand, shells and set in the middle are tea-light candles.
The place settings are cream-colored plates set on top of straw place mats. The chaperones are all wearing attire that resembles what staff would wear at a tropical island resort. In the opposite direction from the tiki bar there is a photo backdrop set up for photos with a photographer. It consists of a large section of sand with a thatch roof attached to the wall. The backdrop is a night view of the ocean as if you’re standing in front of the shoreline underneath a covering. Twinkling lights hang from the thatch roof giving it a romantic feel.
Couples, one at a time, stand beneath it as they have their pictures taken. They each look as if they are a part of a romantic island getaway, a party in the tropics. I begin to feel lightheaded and flushed. I think I need to sit down. It reminds me of my first week with Breyson and the dream I've had set in a private island, not once, but twice. I find the closest table and sit in an attempt to calm my nerves. I feel like I've been thrown into a real version of my dream, but the most important part is missing: Breyson.
Breathe. Just breathe. You can do this...
The song changes to a slower melody than it was before. All of the music I've heard since I've been here is some kind of island music, mellow, but romantic. The lyrics pull me in, commanding me to listen as if wanting me to hear the story it needs to tell. Each word feels like it was written for the week I met...him.
"You were California beautiful.
I was playin' everything but cool.
I can still hear that sound
Of every wave crashin' down"
The lyrics flow through my ears stilling me to my chair. "Kinzleigh, are you okay? You don't look so good," Adalynn says, but I can't move. I can't do anything but listen to the song play as if I might miss something.
"Who sings this," I ask in a whisper. My lungs have been completely deprived of their oxygen.
"Oh shit," she says. "I'm so sorry, Kinzleigh. It's a new song right now, but I never thought of what you're thinking until now."
"Who is it?" I choke out, my eyes beginning to fill with moisture.
"19 You + me by Dan and Shay." I take back everything I originally thought. Fate doesn't only hate me it's trying to destroy me.
Things I've been compressing deep down for the past few months come back full force as if that song was the trigger to the gun that is my emotions. It's now that I have the epiphany I should have known all along. I'm never going to move on as long as I'm here. There are too many reminders of the amazing life I had with the only person I'll ever be in love with the life that was ripped from me. I don't know where I'll go, but I have to get out of here. I have to get out of this town.
Maybe I'll be a drifter and know where I need to be when I g
et there. I've completed all my work for the remainder of the year since I've been ordered to stay home. There is only so much you can do in bed; therefore, I've completed everything necessary to graduate in two short weeks. My trust fund became accessible the day I turned eighteen. That money should keep me comfortable until I can figure out what I'm going to do, and then I'll keep the rest for a backup.
I could get a bus ticket and leave tonight when everyone goes to sleep. That's exactly what I'll do. All I need are a few clothes to get me by for now. I can't tell anyone I'm leaving or they'll try and stop me. It may sound like an insane plan, but it’s the only thing that is going to help me. This is something I must keep to myself until the time is right. My parents would lock me inside if they knew what I was attempting.
This is the last option for Bryce and me. If he's going to have any type of a mother, I have to start over away from here. Everything here signifies my life with Breyson. I have to find my inner strength for Bryce. I'm all he has. He already has to grow up without a father and that kills me more than anything.
"Kinzleigh."
I continue to plot my plan in my head, completely zoned out to anything else.
"Kinzleigh!" I come back to the present as the motion of a hand waves in front of my face. It's then that I realize every one of my friends are staring at me as if I've gone completely crazy; maybe I have. Simon is bent over in front of me with each hand resting on the cushion of the chair beside each outer thigh.
I look at each of them. I can see the sadness and pity written all over their faces, Braxton and Briar especially. My eyes lock with Braxton's. I study his face for the first time since Breyson's accident. He looks the same, but different. The two are pretty much clones yet looking into his eyes feel like looking into the eyes of a stranger. That is the one clue that will always ensure me Breyson is gone.
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