Strong hands caught me in mid-flight, and I found myself crushed against his chest. “Ava? What the hell?”
I didn't answer, reaching up to pull his head down. My lips found his and I kissed him with all the pent-up passion I'd hidden since we first broke up. After a second's hesitation, he returned the kiss, arms wrapping around my waist.
Our breath's intermingled, desperate with need. Pulling away, I gasped, “I'm sorry. I couldn't let you go, I just cou—”
He smothered my words with his mouth, only to break off again. “Red...what is this? What do you want?”
“I want you, just you,” I mumbled against his skin. “It's always been you.”
His lips claimed mine, taking full possession and his familiar scent enveloped me with a heady rush. His fingers tangled into my hair, pulling my head back while his lips trailed a path of fire along my throat. My eyes closed, a moan escaping my lips.
“Are you sure you want this?”
“Yes.”
Brian let go of me for a brief moment to pull off his jacket, laying it on the ground before pulling me back into his arms. We sank onto the makeshift bed, not caring about anything except each other.
His warm hands moved beneath my shirt, eliciting frissons of delight down my spine. Fiery heat exploded in my body where his kisses ignited the nerve endings. The need continued to build between us until I tugged at his clothes with frustrated fingers. “Come on!”
He laughed, easing back to help me. Seconds later our bare skin met as our bodies collided. I hissed with pleasure, my hands roaming across his chest and back with greedy abandon.
His body was both achingly familiar and alien to me at the same time, the shoulders broader, the muscles more defined than I remembered. Gone was the nervous boy who used to fumble with my bra clip, replaced instead by a confident stranger whose hands knew exactly what to do.
His tongue swirled over my nipples, teeth nipping at the sensitive buds until my back arched with pleasure. His fingers brushed across my navel, tracing circles down to the spot where desire pulsed with unrelenting force.
His hand slipped between my legs, coaxing a gasp from my lips. With an expert touch, he brought me to the edge, teasing me along until I whimpered his name. “Brian...please.”
He laughed, and moments later he thrust into me. Our bodies fit like puzzle pieces and I clung to his shoulders, swept away on a tide of sensation. My eyelids fluttered shut and I lost myself, letting him take me to oblivion while his warm breath washed across the nape of my neck. For a moment, we were one.
My senses returned gradually, the crickets and frogs in the background coming to the fore. Goosebumps dotted my naked arms where the cold air touched them, and I shivered. Brian gathered me close, folding his jacket around me. He was silent, the only sound from him the steady beating of his heart against my cheek.
Long suppressed emotion welled up inside me. “Brian I...”
“Don't say it, Ava. Don't tell me this was a mistake.”
“No! I...I wanted to tell you...I'm sorry. I should never have let you go. I should never have pushed you away.” I bit my lip. “I...I lost you once and I can't lose you again.”
He sighed, pressing a soft kiss to my temple. “You won't lose me, Red. I'll come back. I promise. But we need those papers.”
I closed my eyes, willing the tears away, not wanting to spoil the moment. This was something I wanted to hold onto forever.
“I love you, Ava.”
“I love you too,” I whispered, praying it wasn't for the last time.
***
After whispering our farewells, I trudged back to camp alone. Within me swirled a curious mix of emotions—elation, dread, satisfaction, and terror. It all melted together into a hodgepodge of feelings I wasn't able to cope with.
Avoiding Lexi's curious stare, I bundled us off to bed, curling up beneath the blankets in a fetal position. Sleep eluded me for hours until exhaustion took hold, at last, granting me peace.
The next morning, I went about my usual routine, though inside I was dying. It felt like one of my limbs had been cut off. Now that I had allowed myself to feel, really feel, what I'd been suppressing all along, I missed Brian more than I could have ever imagined. I needed him.
After breakfast, I got to my feet, too restless to sit still. “I'm going for a walk, Lexi. Interested?”
“Nope,” was the reply, her dark head bent over a mermaid picture she was coloring in. Though she wasn't mad at me anymore, she'd sunk into a sulky silence since Brian left.
“Fine. Stay put and keep quiet while I'm gone. I won't be long.”
With my patience stretched to its limits, I stalked off, not noticing where my feet took me. The sound of voices brought me to an abrupt halt and I dropped down behind a clump of reeds, heart thumping in my chest.
“Shit,” I cursed in silence, huddling down into the smallest ball I could manage, hand hovering over my gun. I nearly fainted with relief when I realized they hadn't heard me and shuffled deeper into cover.
Looking around, I noticed that I'd walked half the span of the dam, bringing me dangerously close to the edge that bordered on the side of town. My inattention had almost led to disaster, and I vowed to be more careful in future. With no other option but to stay put until they left, I strained to make out their words.
“What you got for me today, Miles? I hope it's the good stuff. Not like last time.”
“Trust me. This'll blow your head off.”
“You'd better not be lying to me or I swear I'll...”
“Relax, man. I'm telling you. This is the shit. It's gonna cost you, though. Double this time.”
“What? You thieving son of a bitch.”
“Come on, man. It's dangerous work. If I get caught...”
A low grumble interspersed with a few grunts sounded, followed by a brief silence during which I presumed they conducted their 'transaction'.
“Whadya want this for anyway? This stuff will knock the pants off you.”
“None of your damn business.”
“Okay, man. Relax. Just asking.”
“I'm being posted to the fucking border, okay? Me and my entire Company.”
“Oh, man! That's some bad luck.” A brief silence. “Can't be that bad. Could be it's a cozy gig.”
“You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It's hell over there. Thousands of refugees, crying to be let in, all bringing their diseases with them and dying like flies to lie rotting in the sun. Kilometers of barbed wire and trenches manned by ill-trained recruits, all crying for their mommies the moment a bomb goes off.”
“Sorry, man. I didn't mean—”
“Have you even seen what an RPG can do? Those North African warlords have got tons of the shit. Mines, grenades, missiles, you name it, they got it. All manned by brainwashed kids high on glue and shit.”
“Okay, okay.”
I imagined the beleaguered Miles backing off from the anger and bile in the other's voice.
“My company is one of the best and we're being wasted on the fucking border. Assholes.”
“Which company you in?”
“What?”
“Which company—”
“Company C. Now gimme that shit and fuck off.”
“All right, all right. Chill man.”
Their voices faded into the distance but I remained frozen, my mind whirling like a merry-go-round.
Company C.
25
Chapter 24
Lexi's POV:
I watched from my perch on the end of the stump as Ava paced back and forth. She looked awful. Her greasy hair was pulled back into a ponytail, her cheeks hollow and pale. She reminded me of the banshees from the stories Mom used to tell me.
It's been two weeks. Two weeks since Brian was supposed to return. Two weeks since my sister changed.
I knew this because I'd been marking the days in the activity book he got me. Every day when I woke up, I made a line with a different co
lored pencil. Every day, I hoped that day would be better than the one before. It never was.
“Please, stop,” I asked.
Ava flashed me a look but kept walking, her feet wearing a groove in the dusty ground. We hadn't been talking much these past few days. My sister alternated between patrolling the area around camp with manic energy or staring into the distance while lost in her thoughts. When I tried to talk to her, she brushed me off, treating me like a kid.
“Please.” Tears pricked my eyes and I stifled a sob. At the sound, Ava stopped pacing and turned towards me.
“I'm sorry, Lexi. I really am. It's just...I don't know what to do! Brian's gone, we're running out of food...I'm scared,” she admitted.
I already knew that but to hear her say it out loud made it worse. More sobs welled up, and I buried my face in my hands while my shoulders shook. Ava sat down next to me, wrapping her arms around me.
She smelled bad but it was still her, warm and comforting. After a while, I stopped crying. She smoothed a hand over my face, brushing the tears away.
“Feel better now?”
I sniffed. “Not really.”
She sighed, her eyes sad. “Me neither, sweet pea. Me neither.”
We sat like that for a while, staring at the coals. Wood was growing scarce and Ava didn't want us to go too far away from our spot, looking for it. She was scared we might be seen, so now we only made a very small fire when we really needed it to cook or boil water, and then only at night.
Ava shifted away from me, lifting the lid of the pot, stirring the contents with a spoon. “Ready to eat?”
I swallowed, saliva flooding my mouth at the thought of food. We hadn't eaten all day. Ava scraped the stew in the pot onto a plate and handed it to me with a fork. Digging in, I swallowed two big mouthfuls before I realized she wasn't eating.
“Aren't you having any?”
“Not tonight. I'm not hungry.” She averted her eyes and I knew she wasn't telling the truth. Just like most every other night. I'd hardly seen her eat these past two weeks, and it showed in her bony wrists and jutting shoulder blades.
“You're lying.” My eyes narrowed. “I'm not a baby anymore. I know you've been giving most of the food to me.”
“I'm not!” she protested.
Slamming the plate down on the ground, I stomped off, stopping a little distance away with my arms folded and my back to her. “If you're not eating, I'm not eating.”
“Oh, Lexi. I'm really not in the mood. Please have it.”
“No, I won't. You don't have to keep coddling me.”
“I'm not coddling you.” I glared at her until she threw her hands up in the air. “Okay. so maybe I am. But I'm supposed to do that. You're my responsibility!”
I hated that word. It made me feel like a rock around her neck, dragging her down. Without me, she'd be fine. Free to leave this awful place. Free to look for Brian.
“You don't have to look after me. I can take care of myself,” I said with false bravado, raising my chin.
She laughed but it came out all wrong, changing into something sad and broken. Her hollow eyes looked spooky in the faint light. “Don't you see, Lexi? If anything happened to you, I'd have nothing left to live for anymore.”
I didn't know what to say to that. For what felt like forever, we stared at each other. My feet moved forward and I sat down on the stump again, picking up the plate.
In silence, I forced the food down even though it no longer tasted good. When I was finished, I wiped the plate clean and went to the tent to lie down. Ava stared at me but she didn't say anything or follow me. It felt like I was losing her.
***
The next morning when I woke up, I was still alone in the tent. After drawing another line in my book, I got up and walked outside, finding Ava curled into a ball next to the cold ashes of the fire. Deciding not to wake her, I walked towards the water's edge to wash my face and hands.
The sun shone brightly, reflecting off the dam and into my eyes. A few Herons flew overhead and the occasional splash followed by ripples spoke of fish. At least, I hoped it was fish. Sometimes, I wondered if it could be crocodiles even though Ava had told me there weren't any.
I squatted among the reeds, doing my business. Around me, the stalks swayed in the breeze, a snap behind me causing my head to swivel. A bird burst out of the brush and I sighed with relief. With a shiver, I got up and finished washing before rushing back. I did not like being alone in this place.
Ava was still sleeping, so I wandered around, weaving in and out of the trees. I didn't go far, never losing sight of the tent. I trailed my fingers across the bark, imagining I was a wood nymph. I loved fairy tales and always hoped I'd get to see a real live elf or pixie one day. Even a dwarf would do. For a while, I forgot about everything until Ava called for me, breaking the spell. I trudged back to camp. Another long boring day.
“Where did you go? You didn't leave camp, did you?” she asked. Her tone was distant and I wondered why she even bothered to ask.
“No,” I replied, sitting down on the stump for our daily ritual of listening to the radio. Ava switched it on every morning and every night for a few minutes to listen to the news. It was the one thing we had to look forward to, and I hugged my knees to my chest.
Ava handled the radio like a precious piece of glass, switching it on carefully, and adjusting the antenna until the static gave way to a voice. She hunkered over the thing like a vulture, eyes fixated on the little box as if it would tell her where Brian was. It never did.
Today's show was hosted by Steve, as he liked to call himself, and I rolled my eyes. Maybe he thought he was a good DJ but I thought he sucked. I bet all the soldiers did too and imagined them booing their radios, throwing chips at it whenever he said something stupid. Like now.
“Time for the joke of the day, folks. What do you call cheese that's not yours?”
A brief pause.
“Nacho cheese!”
He laughed, braying like a donkey over the speakers. I wished I had chips to throw. Though I'd rather eat them.
After half an hour of corny jokes and old people music, Ava switched off the radio, her face drawn with disappointment. I felt sorry for her. I knew she was hoping for news of Brian or the group he was in, but I didn't think they'd say anything about them on the radio. I'd given up telling her this, though. She never listened to me.
“Would you like some breakfast?” she asked.
I shook my head, even though I was starving.
“Some water then?”
“Okay,” I said, accepting a cup. It helped to ease the cramping in my stomach a bit.
Ava went around, tidying up the campsite even though I couldn't see the point. Her gestures were lifeless, like a doll on a puppet string.
I tried to keep busy, coloring in some pictures and doing a puzzle in my activity book. It was almost full, though. Around noon, I joined Ava for a walk, and later I helped her look for firewood. It was hard to ignore the hunger that knotted my stomach, but it was even harder to watch my sister going around like a robot. I wonder if she even cares about me anymore? All I am is a burden.
The afternoon radio session was fun, at least. It was David's turn to DJ and he even played my favorite song by Tay Tay. Afterward, I stared down at the dusty ground when a drop of water plopped into it, startling me. A second drop followed and I lifted my face.
Rain.
“Ava, look!” I reached out my hands, delighted when more drops pattered down, spattering my arms.
Ava jumped up and ran around, grabbing stuff like the radio and shoving it into the tent. Then she spread around a bunch of empty containers. By the time she was finished, the rain was coming down hard, and I jumped around like a jack rabbit, laughing. I was sopping wet but it felt good to be clean again, washed free of all the dust and sweat.
Ava watched me, a small smile forming on her lips. I ran towards her, grabbing her hands. “Come on. Play with me.” She resisted but I kept pulling
until she gave in and we skipped around in the rain, giggling.
It was the only fun we'd had in weeks.
A rumble of thunder rolled towards us and Ava came to a stop, pulling me close. “Let's get inside the tent,” she shouted above the rain.
“Aw. Do we have to?”
She smiled at me and squeezed my shoulder. “Come on, sweetie. We can't afford to get sick. Let's get inside and dry off.” I pouted a little and she sweetened the deal. “I'll let you have the last packet of peanuts.”
I opened my mouth but before I could agree, a blurred shape caught my eye and I screamed as it launched through the air, hitting Ava. She went down with a loud thud and an 'oof' as the breath left her lungs.
Furious growls filled my ears as the beast attacked, clamping down on Ava's forearm and shaking its head. Through the rain, I made out the tail and furry body. A dog.
Ava screamed in pain.
Without thinking, I ran forward and kicked it.
Its head swung towards me, quivering lips pulling back from bone-white teeth.
“Lexi, no!” Ava's face was as white as its teeth. “Run!” She lashed out at the dog and it turned its attention back to her, ignoring me.
My heart thumped loudly. I wanted to run. I wanted to cry. I wanted my dad.
But I forgot all of that when Ava cried out as the dog lunged at her again. Scrambling around for a weapon, my hands landed on the kettle and I swung it at the beast's head. It made a ringing sound as it connected and it yelped, falling to the side.
Ava struggled to get to her feet while her hand groped for Daddy's gun. She pulled it out and pointed it at the dog just as it got up, muscles bunched in readiness to spring. A loud boom startled me and I dropped the kettle, putting my hands over my ears.
The animal slumped down and lay still. It didn't move again. I noticed blood puddling around its head, running in little streams through the mud as it mingled with the rain. It looked like a police dog, one of those you saw sniffing people's luggage in airports and wore a collar around its neck. I squatted next to it, my eyes glued to bullet hole while my fingers fumbled for the metal disc hanging from the collar.
The Black Tide I: Remnants (Tides of Blood) Page 20