by Jessica Long
I will never forget my coach’s birthday. Davo Denniston had been my teammate in Beijing, and now he got to yell sets at me on a daily basis. On his thirty-second birthday he made us swim a main set of thirty-two 200s at an all-out sprint. That is 6,400 meters of pure pain in less than two hours. I went directly to my bedroom afterward and crashed until I had to get up for weights. Our weight-training session wasn’t much easier. For one hour, my team and I cycled through a circuit workout nonstop. At each station we had one minute to do whatever workout was in front of us, and this went on for one long hour, with the “Happy Birthday” song playing in the background. After that workout, dripping in sweat, our weight coach Amanda took my whole team out back, where Davo was casually sitting on a lounge chair in the bed of a white pickup truck. He was holding a fancy drink and wearing a silly birthday party hat. His idea of a birthday treat was for us to push the truck around the entire OTC. Every time he blew his whistle, we had to sing “Happy Birthday” to him. Once we got back to our original spot, he surprised all my teammates and me by taking us out for ice cream instead of making us swim our second practice. I was exhausted, and my aching shoulders were so thankful for a break that I almost cried.
TYPICAL DAY AT THE OTC
6:30 a.m.: Walk to the pool, stretch, change, and mentally prep for practice.
7:00 a.m.: Jump into the pool.
9:00 a.m.: Climb out of the pool.
9:15 a.m.: Relax muscles in hot tub.
10:00 a.m.: Head to “the caf” for breakfast.
11:00 a.m.: Nap.
2:00 p.m.: Start weight training.
3:00 p.m.: Finish weight training and grab a snack.
3:30 p.m.: Start second swim practice (usually full of sprints).
6:00 p.m.: Eat dinner.
7:00 p.m.: Get a massage from Sports Medicine and work out shoulders.
8:00 p.m.: Do yoga.
9:30 or 10:00 p.m.: Fall into bed.
6:15 a.m.: Wake up and do it all over again!
It was always hectic, but I couldn’t imagine a better place. There were so many amazing things at the training center. Lining the walls leading to the pool are pictures of all sorts of athletes with their medals. Inspired by these strong individuals, I wanted to get my picture up there too. (My picture ended up being added after London, and I was so excited!) The OTC became my home, and the people there became my second family. Flower, the cook, knew my egg order before I arrived at the grill; I went to movie premieres with my teammates; on Easter we had a huge egg hunt across the entire campus; and we had game nights and planned other fun outings together.
My favorite day of the week was Sunday. Not only was it Waffle Day, but we had the day off from training, which made everyone happy. I’d spend hours in the cafeteria, talking with my friends and teammates. Despite our different backgrounds, we all had similar goals and were training hard for London. The Olympic Training Center was exactly what I needed at that time in my life, and Colorado easily stole my heart. I really grew up during my time there. Colorado gave me my confidence back. I knew I was training harder than anyone I would be competing against, and I was as prepared as I could be for the moment I would step onto the block in London 2012.
Permanently a part of the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs.
10
The moment I first spoke to a crowd
I have always been a fan of challenging myself to try new things and accomplish new goals. Public speaking scared me, but when I was about fourteen and the opportunity came to present a twenty-minute speech about my story, I decided, Why not? Agreeing to speak was one thing . . . and then came the preparation. To be honest, my dad wrote the speech, but I still had to practice it and learn how to be comfortable in front of an audience. I’m an audible learner, so my dad recorded the speech for me to listen to over and over so that I could memorize the whole thing. My dad was an elder at our church, so he had a set of keys to the building. For about six weeks, twice a week, I went to our church to practice my speech. My dad would drive me over after swim practice or on my day off. We turned on all the lights in the sanctuary and I took my place at the pulpit.
We would turn the microphone on so I could learn not to be afraid of my own voice. My two younger sisters occasionally came with us and sat in the pews to listen to me speak. My dad is someone I have always admired and looked up to. He is endlessly kind, selfless with his love, and committed to his children. He is also one of the most patient people I’ve met. I didn’t want to disappoint him. We worked together on how to connect with the audience, and he taught me how to “work the crowd.” He showed me how to appear relaxed as I used the stage, pausing at certain points and flashing a charming smile at others. Even with his help, I still had the entire speech printed out word for word because I was too nervous to just speak from some note cards.
My mom helped out too. She took me shopping! I remember going out with my mom, first to lunch and then to find the perfect businesslike outfit. This was during my “rebel against my parents” phase, so I never told her how much I enjoyed these one-on-one dates of ours. I chose a black sweater with blue-and-black-plaid dress pants. I loved it! I felt just like a professional speaker.
When the day of the speech came and I finally shared my story, it was incredible to experience how much the crowd appreciated what I said. I was only fourteen, but I had been through many challenges and had experienced a lot. I knew my life was unique, but I didn’t realize how much it could inspire people.
Many individuals came up to me afterward and told me what an impact my story had had on them. I received such positive feedback that I decided I wanted to give more speeches. I have now presented countless speeches—in front of hundreds and thousands of people. One of the largest groups I spoke to was in Mexico in 2014 for the Worldwide Meeting on Human Values. More than six thousand people attended, and an additional eighty thousand viewers watched the live video stream. Asked to be the keynote speaker, I spent the entire summer working on that speech with my sister Hannah. She typed my thoughts and assembled them into a cohesive forty-five-minute presentation. I’m grateful for every opportunity to share pieces of my story and for the things I’ve learned from people along the way. I wanted my audience to realize that you always have a choice to give in or keep going. All my life I have had to make the daily decision to keep going and to avoid giving up in difficult times. I want to encourage others to do the same. God gave me a story to share, and that is what I intend to do.
11
The moment I first modeled
I have always loved being in front of the camera. When I was little, I used to get all dressed up and have my little sisters take pictures of me in our backyard.
In my first and only beauty pageant as a child. This was the beginning of my love for fashion shows.
After I started winning medals, professional photo shoots were such a treat. I would pose with my gold medals and work my angles and just have a lot of fun. As much as I adore swimming, I’ll admit that modeling interested me first. I’ve watched every season of America’s Next Top Model and imagined what it would be like to be one of those girls. And now, swimming has given me the opportunity to actually be a model.
My best look, by far (LOL). My sisters and I were playing dress-up and I threw a shirt over my head to make my “hair” longer and finish off this stunning ensemble.
My first high-fashion modeling experience was for Elle. I am the only amputee they have ever photographed for the magazine, so it was an even more meaningful experience for me. The photo shoot was in L.A., and a whole team was there to get me ready. They started with my hair, even adding hair extensions; they applied my makeup to perfection and gave me a manicure. I had never felt so pampered and glammed up. Ralph Lauren provided the clothes for the shoot. The stylist picked a deep purple dress and paired it with my high-heel legs. My “sexy legs,” as I call them, have the feet* molded with a four-inch arch so they can be worn only with high heels. A typical shoot
lasts about four or five hours, and I loved every minute of it. I wanted the photographer to see that I, a girl without legs, could be a great model. I knew how to position my body, and I wanted to give them lots of options. One of the poses we did was with my legs up on a wall to show off my prosthetics. I really loved the way they allowed me to showcase who I was—a girl without her legs, which for most people would be a big deal. I want to help change the mentality of the fashion industry. I want to show everyone that our differences are what make us beautiful and unique. Elle decided to use a picture of me on a couch, posing on my knees without my prosthetics. The photo was risky, and the magazine received a lot of great press about it. It was really cool to be a part of something that showed how people with disabilities can do the same things as everyone else, including model.
FASHION TIPS:
I’M ALL ABOUT COMFY-CUTE. I LOVE SIMPLICITY—SKINNY BLACK JEANS WITH A WHITE V-NECK TEE, A FLANNEL SHIRT, AND LOTS OF BOHEMIAN RINGS.
One of my favorite pictures of me at seventeen years old. I made one of my sisters be the photographer, and we had a photo shoot in our backyard.
Some photo shoots have been more stressful. When a number of people are directing your movements very specifically, it can get a bit nerve-racking. I generally ignore my legs because I don’t want people around me to be focused on my “disability” or treat me any differently, but it’s a balancing act walking around in prosthetics. I’ve ripped holes in many a pair of jeans over the years from falling. Thankfully, everyone is always willing to work with me, and I’ve had only great experiences at my photo shoots. I’d like to thank Tyra Banks for all her tips through America’s Next Top Model and for teaching me how to “smize” (smile with your eyes). The hours I spent watching her show have definitely paid off.
12
The moment I fell in love with swimming all over again
I honestly felt no pressure going into the London Paralympic Games. I didn’t announce my exact goals for London. I didn’t want people to be disappointed if my performance didn’t meet their expectations. Only my coach, Davo, and I knew what goals I had set for myself. Athens was a discovery of what I was capable of, Beijing was the pressure to be the best, and London was my time to have fun.
Competition day three of the Paralympics in London, England: competing in the Women’s 100m Breaststroke heats at the Aquatics Centre.
September 6, 2012, in London. Celebrating my gold medal from the Women’s 100m Freestyle on the podium at the 2012 Paralympic Games.
I had already won seven gold Paralympic medals, and I didn’t feel that I had anything to prove to anyone. My hope for London was to perform well, but also to enjoy the little moments, such as when our team would all stand together chanting “U.S.A!” for our teammates. I wanted to enjoy my last chance to room with my best friend, Kelley Becherer, who was planning to retire from the Paralympic world six months after London. I was there to do what I loved . . . swim. I had trained hard for four years in prep for London, and I wasn’t going to rush through the ten days of competition.
Some of my best friends. JAK (Jessica, Anna, and Kelley) for life.
On the cover of the daily magazine at the London 2012 Paralympic Games.
A typical day of competition in London was hectic. I’d wake up around six a.m., head to the cafeteria to grab breakfast, and take the shuttle to the pool. I’d put on my practice suit and go straight for the competition pool to warm up, then over to my trainer, Brian Bratta, to be stretched out and have my back adjusted. Then I’d put on my competition suit, which can take up to forty-five minutes because it’s ridiculously tight, fitting like a second skin in order to provide the least resistance in the water. Following a quick warm-up, I’d wait in the ready room for my race. After the race, I’d cool down, get out of my suit, head back to the village, eat lunch, take a nap, and prepare for the finals. Then back to the bus station to repeat all that for finals. After finals (which could end as late as ten p.m.) I’d rush to get dinner, unpack my swim bag, and get to bed, ready to do it all over again the next morning. By day four of competition I was exhausted, but the training had conditioned me to push through it.
Overall, London was my favorite Paralympics. They did a phenomenal job hosting the Games. There were crazy crowds cheering us on every night, the medals were the biggest I’ve ever won, and the food provided in the Paralympic village was amazing. You could always find me at the fruit and pasta stations.
Nastia Liukin, me, Michelle Kwan, and Allyson Felix at the Women’s Sports Foundation Gala in New York City. It’s amazing getting to know these elite athletes. They are strong, beautiful, incredible women.
FAVORITE SNACKS:
ALMONDS AND TURKEY JERKY!
It was an honor to put on my Team USA clothing every day and represent my country. At the closing ceremony, Coldplay, Rihanna, and Jay-Z performed. It was the perfect ending to my third Paralympics. I left London having earned five gold medals, two silver, and one bronze. I of course had wanted faster times and wasn’t completely satisfied with my performance, but I was proud of what I accomplished, and I had a blast doing it.
At an event for Liberty Mutual, signing autographs and showing off one of my gold medals from London.
This was taken while working on Michelle Obama’s campaign against childhood obesity. I was so nervous going through my lines, but she was the kindest person!
13
The moment I lost my confidence
Although the London Games were a success, nothing could prepare me for the months that followed . . . What happened literally changed the course of my life. While training for London, I had begun receiving emails, tweets, and Facebook messages about a family in Russia. Reporters were claiming that they had found my biological family. They wanted me to come to Moscow after competing and reunite with this so-called family on a TV talk show. Here I was, preparing for a huge competition, trying to remain focused, while completely blindsided by news of this family—the family I had always dreamed of meeting but never expected to hear from. I later learned that the U.S. Olympic Committee, my family, and my agent were all receiving messages about my Russian family. They had decided to wait until after the Games to tell me. They had no clue that I had been exposed to the news and was already trying to deal with it.
I will never forget walking back to the USA building in London and overhearing some woman with a Russian accent saying, “We found Jessica Long, we’ve got her.” She then handed me a note with a phone number on it and information about where to meet my Russian family. I was so overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to believe or what I should do with this information. I decided to focus on competing and deal with all of this when I got back to the States.
When I first got back home to Baltimore, I spent a day sleeping, relaxing, and catching up with my family. The next day, we received an email with a link to a Russian television talk show. The program introduced my biological parents. It was surreal to view this family claiming to be my family. I had a Russian friend help me translate some of it, but I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know how to act. All I felt was confusion.
Still, part of me had to admit that I was fascinated. I learned that this was my real biological family, my mother had married my father, and they had three other children together: Anastasia, Dasha, and Oleg. I was the oldest, but my sister was less than two years younger than I was. I even received a Facebook message from Anastasia. She wrote that she heard about having an older sister when she was eight years old, and she had planned to come find me when she could. I was used to the idea of my Russian mother, but the thought of having a biologically related little sister was incredible to me. I can honestly say I loved her right away. It took me a while to get used to the idea of having a father and two other siblings, who are twins. The whole thing was just hard to wrap my head around.
Once all the excitement from London had subsided, my life mostly returned to normal. I took about six months off to travel for appearances, and I kept
myself too busy to deal with my emotions.
I didn’t really know how to address my new family in Russia. I became a little detached from the idea of them. I think being a professional athlete is partly to blame for the way I can hold my emotions in check. In swimming, during a tough set, we have to push through and ignore any pain we feel. I did that when it came to my Russian family. I wish I had shared more of what I was feeling with my friends and loved ones. I had so many questions about my new family; there was so much I wanted to know: Why did they give me up? Did they love me now only because of my swimming success? Did they ever want me or think about me? I think the quote “Overthinking leads to negative thoughts” is a pretty accurate description of what was going on with me at that time. Swimming has always been the place where I clear my head, but not this time: I would think nonstop about my Russian family.
On top of all that news, I was going through a classic case of post-Paralympic depression. I had spent the last four years of my life training for London. Everything builds up to the competition, and then it is over. Just like that. The event I had spent so long visualizing, working toward, and focusing on was finished. I struggled a lot in the months following London. In truth, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do next.