by Jessica Long
18
The moment I finally won gold in Rio
After the emotional roller coaster following my reunion with my birth family, my life slowly returned to a fairly regular routine, filled with training, family, friends, occasional speeches and appearances, and more training. I set my sights on Rio and counted the days until what would be my fourth Paralympic Games.
Right after receiving my gold medal in the Olympic Aquatics Stadium My heart was so full.
Three years later, in 2016, I’m at Rio and my world is shattering. It was the ninth day of a ten-day competition, and I still hadn’t won a gold medal. I had been winning golds since I was twelve years old. How could this be possible? These were races I had won since I was a new swimmer, events in which I had taken first place my whole life, competing only against myself, attempting to beat Paralympic and World records that I had set. Now I was coming in second, third, or even worse. It hit me heavy and it hit me hard. I let myself cry alone in my room and then did my absolute best to pick myself up and swim my fastest in the next event. Each day got harder and harder as I was more exhausted and more discouraged by my performance. Day nine came and went, and I had three silver and two bronze medals to my name, but not a single gold. On the very last day of competition for my final race I knew I had just one more chance to stand in the center on the very top of the podium. I was going to have to race my heart out.
On the field at M&T Bank Stadium at a Ravens game. Baltimore will always be my home.
My childhood coach, Andrew Barranco—who had been hired onto the Paralympic coaching staff and coached me in Beijing, London, and now Rio—pulled me aside. “You’ve got this,” he said. He never doubted my abilities and was always there whenever I needed help. This race was my last opportunity, not just for myself, but for all the people who supported me through everything and were cheering me on. There were so many people rooting for me. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could still win gold as a twenty-four-year-old in my fourth Paralympic Games. But I needed this too. I wanted to win gold for all of us.
Visiting my family in the stands after winning gold. They were always decked out in USA gear and even had matching #TeamLong shirts and sweatshirts made by Arena (my sponsor for swimwear).
On day ten, my last day of competition, I had the two hundred IM (individual medley). The IM includes fifty meters of each of the four strokes—butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, and freestyle—so you have to be strong in each stroke to earn a medal. Coming into the wall on the last lap, my very last chance to earn a gold medal, I reached out and hit the side in first place. I immediately sobbed. I climbed out of the pool and lay on my back on the pool deck. I couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t care. Everyone was applauding, and even as the rest of the deck was cleared, the officials all let me have my moment. I finally stood up, and the entire crowd cheered again. It seemed that everyone knew what I had gone through to get that medal, and it was one of the best moments of my life. I now had my Rio gold medal, giving me a combined total of twenty-three Paralympic medals, thirteen of them gold, and making me the second-most decorated U.S. Paralympian of all time.
Sporting my Rio gold medal and red carpet attire at the 2016 Team USA Awards.
19
The moment I accepted me
There are still days when I struggle with the whys of my life. Why this happened or that happened. But the fact of the matter is . . . I was given this life. Even though all these obstacles have been thrown at me, I choose to look at my life in a positive way. If I wasn’t missing my legs, I may not have found swimming.
I certainly wouldn’t be a member of the U.S. Paralympic Swim Team, and I wouldn’t have made the lifelong friendships I found along the way. I know God has a purpose for me, and that He is always there to help me pick up the pieces when I’m overwhelmed. There will always be days when I wonder why, when I wish everything were different—days when I just want to give up. But I’ve chosen not to let the adversities in my life defeat me. I’ve chosen not to let swimming, my disability, my past, or some gold medals define me.
I don’t have one specific moment when I accepted who I am. I have struggled with acceptance and understanding throughout my entire life. Every challenge I’ve faced has taught me how to accept my differences as I constantly create who I am each day. As a little girl, I was really insecure about the fact that I didn’t have my lower legs. It bothered me when people stared. It made me feel that there was something wrong with me. It has taken me years to realize it was my own insecurities that caused people to treat me differently. If I view my disability as a negative aspect of my life, I’m basically inviting others to view it the same way. I’m giving them permission to feel sorry for me by feeling sorry for myself. But I refuse to be defined by what makes me different. I am in control of the way people see my disability. Sure, people will always notice when I wear clothing that shows off my prosthetic legs, but it no longer holds any power over me.
Basically me in one picture: a coffee in my hands, brick wall for pictures, and wearing my favorite shoes.
In a lot of ways, I think swimming prepared me for many moments in my life that have been completely unrelated to sports. Swimming teaches you to push through challenging sets; it teaches you success and how to rise when you’ve fallen down. It taught me how to deal with good and bad pressure, how to set goals and reach them. It has helped shape me into the person I am today. Swimming has been my life’s work. Sometimes that terrifies me, and I wonder where I’ll go from here, but I’m willing to figure that out when the day comes. I regret nothing—not one practice or race. I missed out on many aspects of what is considered a normal life because of competitive swimming. I skipped parties, couldn’t hang out with my friends. I missed weddings and family vacations. I was homeschooled, though I loved the idea of going to an actual school. I gave up eating certain things so I could keep my body in shape. I lost friends. But I found a vital piece of myself, too. God knew what He was doing when He led me to the water. It’s where I found my passion, my challenges, my aspirations, my job, and my dreams all in one.
Posing with the palm trees in the Cayman Islands.
On my balcony at the Olympic Village in Rio.
There is a life beyond swimming. I don’t know what my future holds, but I’m looking forward to finding out. What about you? What does your story look like so far? Will your next chapter be a continuation of the last, or do you need to tear up the previous one and start a completely new story? Whatever moment is next for you, I hope you remember my journey. Remember not to let anyone hold you back, including yourself. Take whatever glimpse of an opportunity you can get and run with it, because you are worth it. Give the best of yourself to each and every moment, because it’s your hard work and grace in the daily challenges that prepare you to be unsinkable in the big moments.
We are all writing our stories. I’ve shared moments from mine in this book, but I have many more moments to go. I’m ready for my next chapter . . . as ready as I’ll ever be.
Date night at Boordy Vineyards with my boyfriend, Lucas!
Acknowledgments
THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE I have had nothing but love and support from my family, and with this book they continued to be there every step of the way. I am honored to be sharing life with so many incredible people. This truly wouldn’t have been possible without them.
First and foremost, I have to give credit to my sister Hannah. I’m so thankful for her brilliant mind and the way she’s able to capture my deepest thoughts. There was no one else I wanted to write this book with. Thank you for ALL of your hard work, H. I love you!
A huge thank-you to my dad for the countless hours he spent sorting and scanning pictures, and to my mom for always picking up the phone and listening to me talk about the book over and over again. Their boundless love for each of their children will always amaze me.
I am forever grateful to my agents, Heather Novickis at Kinetic Group Sports Management and Sandra Bishop at
Transatlantic Agency, for the continuous work they put into this entire process.
Thank you to our editors, design team, and every individual at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt who helped bring this book to life and put it into readers’ hands.
And, of course, my endless gratitude goes to Jesus. Without Him my story wouldn’t be anything. He is always worth it. “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”—Psalm 28:7
Photo Credits
Author’s collection: 9, 13, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 41, 43, 45, 46, 47, 48, 50, 51, 52, 55, 57, 59, 62, 63, 65, 67, 70, 71, 72, 73, 76, 78, 81, 83, 84, 86, 89, 91, 93 (bottom), 94, 95, 96, 97, 100 (left), 101, 102, 103 (left), 105, 106, 108, 109, 110, 112
IAN MACNICOL: 68, 69
Instagram @zpotler; website: zpotlerphotography.com: 99, 100 (right), 103 (right)
Joe Kusumoto Photography: 11, 38, 42
NBC SPORTS / SAMSON CHAN: 92, 93 (top)
Photo by Living Radiant Photography: 66, 111
Roy Cox, Photographer: 53, 64
Photo Gallery
Seeing my family and boyfriend after my races in Rio always brought a smile to my face.
About the Authors
© Sean Scheidt
JESSICA LONG was a Russian orphan born with a condition that forced the amputation of both her legs below the knees. But that didn’t stop her determined spirit. At age twelve, she was the youngest member on the U.S. Paralympic Swim Team, and the winner of three gold medals at the 2004 games in Athens, Greece. Now, with thirteen Paralympic gold medals to her name, she is an established champion athlete, a positive role model for young women, and a source of inspiration for anyone who admires tough underdogs.
HANNAH LONG is Jessica’s younger sister and number-one fan. Having lived Jessica’s story alongside her, she was ecstatic to help Jess find the words to share it on paper. Inspired by her big sister, Hannah moved to New York City to pursue her own dreams of acting, dancing, and singing. She studied musical theater at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy and is now auditioning and working in the Big Apple.
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Footnotes
* When Dennis Alekseevich Tumashoff was adopted, my parents changed his name to Joshua Dennis Long. We were not biologically related; we just happened to be in the same orphanage. Though Josh is two years older than I am, everyone at home thought we were twins at first. He was malnourished and had spent many months in a Russian hospital, suffering with dysentery, so his tiny body was as small as my thirteen-month-old frame. Shortly after his adoption, his cleft lip and palate were repaired. Over the years, he has gone through a series of surgeries, including extensive reconstruction of his jaw. Unlike me, he has never had an interest in searching for information about his birth parents.
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* My high-heel legs, or “sexy legs,” were created using my sister’s feet. Hannah came with me to meet my prosthetist at A Step Ahead Prosthetics in New York, and there they molded her feet at a four-inch arch and used those molds to make my prosthetic feet. The new legs were then airbrushed and painted to look real, complete with veins and freckles. I love getting to wear my sexy legs to fancy events and am always amazed at how real they look!
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* Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a common, chronic, and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, repeated thoughts, urges, or mental images that cause anxiety (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors (compulsions) in response to an obsessive thought. I personally have to keep things in perfect order and am constantly cleaning my apartment and my Jeep.
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