“The possibilities are endless….” I take a sip of my coffee in an attempt to calm my nerves. It doesn’t work. I should have ordered decaf.
“That can’t be all,” Thomas presses. “Mom and Dad made it seem like it was something major. You didn’t knock someone up, did you?”
A nervous laugh comes out. “Uh, no. That’s definitely not it.”
“Good.” Thomas laughs. “I’m too young to be an uncle.”
“I am seeing someone though.” I add. Maybe I can just slide into this.
“Oh yeah?” Thomas raises an eyebrow. “Well, spill it, little brother.”
“We’ve been seeing each other for a short while,” I tell him. “It’s been a little dramatic so far, but it’s nice. I haven’t really felt this way before.”
“I’m sorry to say it, little buddy, but it sounds like love.”
“I think it might be,” my cheeks are burning. “Time will tell, I guess.”
“So, who’s the lucky lady?”
“Well,” I say and let out a breath. “Actually, his name is Chris. Chris Myers.”
“Oh.” Thomas’s mouth hangs open for half a second. “Wait, Chris Myers? As in the Pastor’s son?”
“Y-yeah.” I nod my head. “That’s him.”
“Well, fuck me.” He leans back in the booth, scratching his head. “I mean… Holy shit. Sorry, I don’t mean that in a bad way.”
“It’s okay. It’s weird, right?”
Thomas remains quiet for a good minute, eyes darting back and forth as he rubs that ridiculous soul patch.
I’m sweating like a whore in church. Then, he blurts, “Well, okay then!” He smiles at me. “I guess that was kind of a big deal. You doing all right?”
“Yeah.” I nod again. “I think I am. It’s been easier than I thought it would be. Definitely easier than it’s been for Chris.”
“What’s his dad think about all this?”
“Umm…”
“Here we go, guys.”
Our server returns and fills the table with plates.
“Let me know if I can get anything else for you.”
“Look, we have plenty of time.” Thomas smiles, grabbing his fork. “Let’s eat.”
He doesn’t ask about Chris’s dad again, but our conversation floats back to its usual topics of sports and family and college stories.
By the time we’re finished eating, everything feels like it’s back to normal.
Does that mean gay is normal?
“What about this one?”
Mom hands me yet another pamphlet, a happy student smiling back up at me from the glossy pages. It looks a little suspicious, like I might have my brain sucked out and replaced by an alien or something.
“They have one of the best rated art programs in the state.”
We’ve been rifling through school options all morning, and my head is about to explode.
“Can I just close my eyes and pick?” I whine, burying my face in my arms. The kitchen table has been overtaken by my options, and Mom keeps scrolling through more of them on her laptop.
“I know it’s a lot.” She pats my arm. “But we have to get you enrolled before you fall behind, Michael. Oooh! This one looks fun! And, look. They have a rainbow flag on the cover!”
I groan, fleeing the table. She means well, but Mom is kinda driving me crazy with the support. First it was a rainbow coffee mug she makes a point to drink from every morning, then it was the matching t-shirts, and rainbow scrubs for work, and most recently a “I love my gay son” bumper sticker I flat out told her to peel off.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I jump at the excuse to step out on the back porch.
“Hey,” I answer.
“Hey,” Chris replies. I’ve been waiting impatiently for our phone call all morning. This has become our routine while he’s away at his grandparents. They’re supposed to come back sometime this week.
“How’s North Carolina?”
“Just as boring as yesterday when you asked.”
“Oh, right.” I lean against the railing of the porch. “I guess I ask that a lot.”
“It’s okay.” He laughs. “We’re coming back today.”
“Really?” It comes out far more enthusiastic than I was shooting for.
“Yeah, we have to…settle some things. But I should be free this afternoon. Can I come pick you up?”
“Totally.” Just the thought of seeing him again has me grinning like an idiot.
“Perfect. Well, hey, I have to go help Mom load up the car. I’ll call you when we get home?”
“Yeah.” I let out a sigh.
“I miss you, Mike.”
His words rob the air from my lungs.
“I-I miss you too.”
“See you soon.”
“Bye.”
I hang up the phone, cheeks flushed. Back in the house, Mom’s starts waving her hands over her head like she’s just won the lottery.
“I found it!” She calls me over. “This is the one!”
“That’s great,” I tell her. “Mom, Chris is coming back home today. Is it all right if we go catch a movie or something?”
She pauses, her jubilance wavering. “Will you two be alone?”
“Uh, n-no!” I backtrack. “I think we’re going to get Jackie to go with us.”
“Uh-huh.” Mom nods her head slowly. “Well, I guess that will be all right. Just be on your best behavior young man.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Was that Chris on the phone?”
“How’d you know?”
“Your rosy cheeks.”
She pinches one of them, and I push her hand away, laughing.
“It’s nice to see you like this, Michael.”
“Like what?”
“Happy.” She grins. “You seem happy.”
And maybe she’s right.
Chris pulls up to the house and I say goodbye to Mom as I rush down the stairs. She stands in the front door, watching as I climb into the passenger seat. Chris gives a wave with his good arm and she returns it, smiling as he puts the car in reverse.
Once we’re around the corner, he stops the car and leans over the console to kiss me. We get lost for a moment, picking up right where we left off. Fingers twist hair, breaths come in gasps and warmth radiates from my body.
“Ow.” Chris rubs his shoulder as he pulls away. “Sorry, I’m still a little sore.”
“That’s okay.” I tell him, panting. His face still has the red lines from the partially healed cuts. His left arm is wrapped in a cast, held in place by a sling across his chest. He’s battered and broken, but I’ve never found him more attractive. I think that’s just the teenage hormones talking.
“I packed us a cooler,” he says, managing to shift the car into drive again. “How about a little picnic at Piedmont?”
“That sounds perfect,” I muse, fastening my belt.
He nods, pulling out of the neighborhood.
We talk as he drives. I fill him in on the school search and tell him all about the one Mom and I decided on earlier today. I secretly hope he’ll get the hints I’m dropping and try to get enrolled there too. He tells me about his grandparents’ house and the time he’s spent with them. They sound like really kind people.
We’re all caught up by the time we reach the park, sun beginning to sink toward the horizon. I drive the cooler, allowing Chris to lead the way. We pick a hill, and I set to work, laying down the blanket and unpacking.
“Wow.” Chris leans against the trunk of an oak tree. “I could get used to this.”
“Well don’t,” I tease, tossing him my phone. “You’re in charge of the music. And I don’t expect you to be in a cast our entire lives.”
“Huh.”
“What?” I ask, grabbing the baggie full of sandwiches.
“You said the rest of our lives,” he says. “That sounds…really nice.”
Music lingers in the background as I finish unpacking, Chris trying to hel
p where he can. Mostly he just distracts me, and I have to pull him in for a kiss. Golden light washes everything in these beautiful tones and I don’t ever want it to stop.
And I’m smiling. More than I can ever remember. One thought brings me this joy. The two of us, together, in a space that’s just ours. I can picture it, the scene flashing like those last few moments of a dream—a kitchen with granite counters, an open window above the sink, and curtains blowing with the breeze, Chris standing over the stove with an apron and laugh lines and salt and pepper hair.
I shiver, with the wind. It’s all I want.
Chris pours us two cups of soda as we settle into the blanket, watching the sun set behind the Atlanta skyline. It’s absolutely perfect.
“These are delicious,” I say, sinking my teeth into a sandwich.
“Why thank you,” he says, adjusting his sling. “My mother made them. Isn’t that romantic?”
We laugh, and I close my eyes, enjoying the last few moments of sun.
When I open them, Chris is staring at me, smile absent from his face.
“What is it?”
“Nothing. It’s just…” He looks down, scratching the end of his nose. “I’m really going to miss this. You and me.”
“Huh?” He must be talking about school. “I mean, I know it will be hard at first, but we can see each other in the afternoon’s and on the weekend—”
“Stop, Mike.” Chris holds his hand up to silence me. “I have to tell you something.”
My heart pounds like a drum. “Okay. What’s up?”
“My mom and I are leaving.” He plays with the edge of the blanket, pulling out thread one piece at a time. “We’re going to stay with my grandparents.”
“For how long?” I ask. He’s already been gone for a week, what’s another few? I can wait.
“You don’t understand.” He sighs. “We’re moving. Like, to live with them. Mom’s going to work in Gramp’s store.”
“W-wait, but, why?”
“Dad lost his salary,” Chris continues. “And mom wants to put some distance between them. Thinks a fresh start might be just what I need, too.”
“And us?”
He doesn’t answer, just pulls another thread, holding it in his open palm until the wind carries it away.
“Chris?”
“I love you.”
The words echo off grass, bouncing along the blades like skipping rocks.
Did he just say that?
Chris grabs my hand in his. “Or, at least, I think I do. And, if that’s what this is, then I finally understand what all the fuss is about.”
“Chris, I-I…”
“I know I’m not being fair,” he says in a fevered pitch, “but I wanted you to know that before I go.”
“Just, just slow down for a second okay?” I shake his hand off, staggering to my feet. The earth gives way as I pace back and forth. I might work a path into the grass. “When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow.” He sulks, head drooping. “I start my new school on Monday.”
And just like that, my daydreams vanish with the sinking sun. I shiver as it falls beneath the horizon. Lights come on along the walking paths, but they do nothing to lift my spirits.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do, Chris?” I ask when I can’t stand staying silent any longer. “What are we supposed to do?”
“What can we do, Mike?” he pleads. “I’m open to suggestions!”
“You could stay here,” I offer. “Mom and Dad were ready to let you stay with us when we thought you were getting kicked out.”
“I can’t leave Mom,” he replies, hugging his knees with his good arm.
“Then we can just keep doing what we’ve been doing all week.” I drop to the ground beside him. “We’ll talk and text and see each other when we can. I’ll get my license next month, and I can drive up to see you.”
“It’s a six-hour drive, Mike.”
“You’re worth it.”
“I don’t want to make you do that.”
“You aren’t! I’m choosing to!”
“Look.” Chris presses his hand to my chest. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t want to waste the rest of the time I have with you arguing.”
Tears, hot and plenty, fall down my face. “This fucking sucks.”
“I know it does.” He pulls me closer, our foreheads coming together. “But it’s not forever. Maybe one day, when we’re older, we can be together again.”
My chest deflates with an exhale. “You sound like a Hallmark movie.”
He snickers, and we stay like this, just for a short while—locked in a moment of intimacy.
“What am I going to do without you?” I ask him.
He pulls away just enough that his eyes find mine. “You’ll be fine.” He smiles. “You’ll draw and watch bad movies with Tanner and Jackie. You’ll crush your junior year at your new school and win some art contests, I’m sure. And, most importantly, you’re going to be yourself. No lies, and no hiding. Got that?”
I nod my head, wiping my face with a sniffle.
“Good.” Chris leans forward and plants the softest kiss against my cheek. “Now, let’s leave tomorrow in tomorrow, and enjoy the rest of the time we have.”
And that’s exactly what we do.
“How are you wearing that?” I ask Jackie as she tosses the end of her wool scarf over her shoulder. “It’s like ninety degrees outside.”
“It’s October, Mike,” she says as if that answers all my questions. “Fall. As in the official start of scarf season. Come on, are you really sure you’re gay?”
I roll my eyes, opening the door to Clark’s Cup.
Tanner waves over his laptop from the table in the corner, and me and Jackie join the line for coffee.
“Still liking the new school?” she asks, slithering an arm through mine.
“Yeah, actually I am. You wouldn’t believe the supplies they have at this place. I think they even still have lead paint. How cool is that?”
“Only a true artist goes blind for their passion, Mike.”
We laugh, stepping up to the counter.
“Well look here.” Davy greets us from behind the counter. “I was wondering when I’d see you again, Mike.”
“What about me?” Jackie feigns offense.
“I see you ever day.” He claps back. “and it’s more than enough.”
I laugh. “It’s good to see you, Davy.”
“What’ll it be today? Latte and a hot chocolate?”
“Extra whip,” Jackie chimes.
“Done and done.” Davy punches the register and I hand him my card.
“I’ll grab the drinks,” I tell Jackie, moving to the end of the counter. She goes to join Tanner, shutting his laptop as she sits down. The two start a slap fight, making me giggle from across the room.
“Here you go, Mike.” Davy smiles as he slides the mugs over the counter. He brushes a blond curl out of his eye, then pulls his apron over his head. “And it’s officially quitting time for me.”
A twinge in my chest and I pause.
“Something wrong?” Davy asks me, looking down at the drinks. “Look, that’s as much whipped cream as I can fit on her drink, if she wants more than—”
“Do you want to sit with us?” I interrupt.
He blinks, a smile creeping across his face. “Actually, I’d love to. Give me a second to hang up my stuff?”
“Cool.” I motion toward the table. “Well, be over here.”
“Yeah.” Davy smiles wider, and I turn toward my friends.
“Are you blushing?” Jackie asks as I set the mugs down.
“What? No, of course not.”
“You totally are!” She slaps my shoulder. “Isn’t he, Tan?”
“He’s a regular Bashful Betty,” Tanner adds, opening his laptop again.
“Scoot over,” I tell Jackie, pulling another chair over to the table.
“What for?” She swipes a finger through
her pile of cream.
“I invited Davy to come hang out,” I tell her, avoiding eye contact like the plague.
“Aha!” She points a finger at me. “I knew it! You totally were blushing.”
“Whatever.” I sit down, rubbing my cheeks as if that will help disperse the blood.
“I totally approve,” Tanner says from behind the screen. “If I swung that way, I’d be all over that.”
“Gross.” I moan.
“Have you heard from Chris lately?” Jackie sips the side of her hot chocolate.
“Yeah.” I pull out my phone. “He sent me a picture earlier today from his hike. He’s loving the mountains.” I turn the screen around so she can see.
“Who’s with him?”
“Oh, that’s Ryan. They met at his new school.”
“Oh reeeally?” Jackie wiggles her eyebrows in a disturbing fashion
“Knock it off,” I chide her. “I’m happy he has someone to connect with up there. After all that time alone, he needs friends.”
“And a boyfriend.”
“And a boyfriend,” I add.
“Who’s boyfriend?” Davy sinks into the open chair, his hair untamed without his cap.
“Nobody,” says Jackie, tapping Tanner on the shoulder. “Hey Sasquatch, come buy me a cookie.”
“But I’m in the middle of taking over a tower, I can’t just—”
Jackie smacks him on the arm, and he gets the message.
The two of them leave the table, taking their time to meander over to the counter.
“How was your shift?” I ask Davy, hoping to break the awkward tension.
“It was all right,” he says, brushing through curls with his fingers.
“At least you get free coffee,” I offer. “That would be worth it to me.”
“To tell you the truth, I don’t even like coffee,” Davy admits, looking down at his paper cup. “But I’d cut a bitch if they touch my hot tea.”
“Tea?” I grin, leaning my elbows on the table. “I know a place that’s got the best tea around.”
“Really?” Davy perks up, his baby blues sparkling. “You don’t say.”
“Oh, yeah,” I tell him, “I’ll have to take you there some time. They have more choices than you can even imagine.”
“Sounds dreamy,” he muses.
“Oh my God.” Jackie’s back, munching on the end of a giant cookie. “These are so good, Davy. Do you guys make them?”
There Goes Sunday School Page 29