Keeping Her Close

by Suzanne Rock

  “That some things are more important than a job?”

  “What? No. That there is nothing more meaningful than the job.” My confusion must have shown on my face, because he let out a long breath and placed his palms on either side of me once more, trapping me against the counter.

  “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t have some corporate desk job. I save lives, protect people.”

  “I know.”

  “Without me, there’s no line of defense between the innocent and the corrupt. I’m what stands between normal everyday life and total chaos.”

  I furrowed my brow. “That’s a lot of pressure.”

  He let out a long breath. “Yes, but it is my family legacy, my destiny.” He averted his gaze, staring at a spot over my shoulder. “Not everyone is up to laying their lives on the line to save others, but we are. It’s in our blood.” He looked back at me, his eyes pleading. “It’s my father’s dying wish that his sons continue to protect the innocent.”

  I searched his face, and in doing so, noticed something familiar. His eyes were desperate, and his features stiff. Telling me this was difficult for him, I realized. Difficult and yet important. He wanted me to understand that he was bound to obey his father, despite the fact that his father was no longer living. Because of one death-bed conversation, Max felt his entire life had been ordained. He had no free will, no choices, and the burden of his father’s legacy had taken a deep toll over the years.

  I wondered if given the choice, if he would have chosen to become a cop, or if he would have picked something else. While I was grateful for his presence, my heart ached at the weight this man seemed to carry around with him on his shoulders.

  I rested my hands on his biceps, silently letting him know that I understood what he was going through. “So you have spent your entire life living in your father’s shadow because of something that was beyond your control.” I shook my head. “Both of our fathers are trying to run our lives. Mine from across the Atlantic, yours from across the grave. I guess we have that in common then, don’t we?”

  He tightened his jaw for a moment, then visibly relaxed. “I don’t want to make the same mistakes my father made.”

  “I know. Neither do I.” I brushed my fingers along Max’s cheek. “When my father loves someone, he holds onto them so hard that he suffocates them. He’s afraid of losing them, but in reality, his behavior just pushes them away.”

  “Mine didn’t hold on at all. He pushed everyone away because he felt he’d just hurt them. He didn’t feel worthy of love.”

  “That must have been hard.”

  I felt his muscles tighten under my fingertips. “It was.”

  “You have to believe that you’re not like your father, Max. You’re worthy of love.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t commit to a relationship, Tess, no matter how much I may want it. My job is too dangerous.”

  “To the right woman, your job wouldn’t matter.”

  “Does it matter to you?”

  The words came out so fast and so quiet, I had trouble responding to them. Did his job bother me? I didn’t know. I did know that I appreciated how Max went out every day and lived life. He had excitement and adventure, where I just sat behind a computer screen. Part of me was jealous of that. I admired his courage, strength, and sense of duty, even when it felt as if the world was against him.

  “I see,” he said when I didn’t respond to his question right away. He started to push away, but I tightened my hold on his arms.

  “No.”

  He raised his brows, causing me to smile. “No?”

  “No, your job doesn’t matter to me. In fact, I admire it. You do what you think is right, even when it isn’t popular.”

  “So do you.”

  I made a sound of disbelief. “Me? I let a commenter on my blog make me feel bad about myself. Anarchy is a known troll, and I let his comments get under my skin.” I had even let him dictate my travel plans. When he started criticizing me on never visiting the places I talked about, I had arranged to visit countries in the Middle East, dangerous countries where people could have hurt me. When he criticized my lack of focus on Tanzania, I made arrangements to return to my roots, and refocus on what started me blogging in the first place.

  Max hooked his finger under my chin. “It’s completely natural to feel that way.”

  “You’d ignore it.”

  “No, I wouldn’t let it bother me. There’s a difference. It’s okay to feel down about yourself when someone says something mean. It’s natural. It’s what you do after the feeling fades that’s important.”

  “I let some idiot dictate my travel arrangements.”

  “You could have let him shut down your blog, but you didn’t.” He inched closer. “You’re a strong woman, Tess. Much stronger than you realize.”

  I shook my head, pulling my chin away from his grasp. “I hide behind a computer screen.”

  “You talk about sensitive topics and start conversations. I think that’s very courageous.”

  “You think so?”

  He nodded. “Not only is it courageous—it’s sexy.”

  I smiled and slid my fingers up to his shoulders. “Now you’re just flirting.”

  “Perhaps.”

  “You’re being nice to me because you want to get laid.”

  He raised his brows and inched closer. “Now who’s flirting?”

  My breath caught. He was coming closer. Did I really want this to happen? Yes, I decided, I did. Despite knowing that there could never be anything more than sex between us, I still wanted him. Feeling bold, I moistened my lips and made a show of glancing down at his hips.

  “I don’t flirt,” I said.

  “No?”

  “No.” I dragged my gaze up to meet his. “I don’t need to. Like you said, I’m a strong woman. When I see something I want, I just take it.”

  “Really.” He pressed his body up against mine, showing me just how much our close proximity was affecting him. “What’s stopping you from taking what you want now?”

  “Nothing,” I whispered as I tilted my head and inched closer to his lips. “Nothing at all.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Max

  This was crazy. I shouldn’t be kissing this woman, I should be working to find some way to protect her. It was the rational thing to do, the logical course of action. Unfortunately, as the seconds passed and her tongue slid against mine, all rational thought flew out the window.

  She curled her fingers into my shirt and pulled me closer. I had never been with a woman who liked to take control, and I had to admit that the thought of her having her way with me was quite arousing. I slid my hands down her sides, feeling her curves and loving how well her body fit against mine.

  She tugged on my shirt, and I broke the kiss just long enough to remove it. She gasped when she saw my bare chest, and I closed my eyes and hummed my approval as she touched and explored my skin. I let her have her way for a long moment, then captured her hands. When she looked up at me in surprise, I pulled her against me and kissed her with all of the pent-up desire I felt.

  She moved against my body, and every wiggle, every sigh, only added to my need. I fumbled with her pants, finally ripping them down her legs with a sense of urgency I had never felt before. Dropping to the ground, I dragged her clothes down with me and helped her step out of them. Then I lifted her leg. She threaded her fingers in my hair as I placed her foot on my shoulder and leaned in between her thighs.

  “Max . . .” Her voice was hesitant, unsure. It made me want to earn her trust.

  “Shh . . .” I whispered as I slid my hands over her backside. “I’ve got you.”

  Damn, she smelled good. The mixture of woman and arousal fueled my desire and made me want to attack her like a hungry animal. Possession and urgency swirled in my veins, begging me to plunge inside her sweet heat and lose myself in bliss. I managed to hold my instincts back, however. Instead of ravaging her, I took my
time, slowly leaning forward and sliding my tongue over her slick folds.

  “Oh God.” She shivered and tightened her hold on my hair. Using my fingers, I spread her apart and glided my tongue over her skin once more.

  “Yes.” She groaned and moved against my face, rubbing herself against me.

  I curled my fingers into her flesh and feasted, enjoying every whimper, every whisper of my name. It wasn’t long before she was moving against me, and a rush of adrenaline poured through my body as her inner muscles clamped around my tongue.

  I growled and plunged deeper, sliding along her inner walls. She tilted her head back and groaned as I licked and caressed her sensitive skin. My cock pressed against my jeans, and I had all I could do not to stand, tear off my pants, and enter her. This wasn’t about me, I reminded myself. This was about her.

  Shifting my hands, I held her folds open as I focused on her clit, loving her sweet, feminine cries as she rushed closer and closer to the edge.

  “I’m close,” she whispered. “Max . . .”

  “Let it come,” I said as I shifted my position and licked her once more. Adjusting my hand, I plunged my finger inside her channel as I rubbed her clit with my tongue.

  The change in movement triggered her orgasm, and she cried out my name, her desire rushing over me. I drank my fill, gently coaxing her pleasure forward until her legs started to tremble.

  Standing, I gathered her into my arms and made my way to the bedroom. She rested her head on my shoulder, and once again a surge of protectiveness ran through me. This woman was mine. Mine to protect, mine to pleasure. I loved the look of satisfaction she got when she finally succumbed to her desire. Knowing that I was the one who brought her there gave me more satisfaction than I cared to admit.

  I set her down on the mattress and moved to pull down the covers. She grabbed my wrist, stopping me, and before I realized what was happening, she pulled me down to the bed and turned her body until she was on top of me.

  “Tess . . .” My voice sounded strained, but I didn’t care.

  “I want to do this, Max,” she said. “I’ve never pleasured a man before. I want to try it with you.”

  How could I say no to that? I watched as she undid my pants with shaking fingers, then helped her when she struggled to pull them off of me.

  “My pocket . . .”

  She reached into my pocket and pulled out a condom. After tearing it open with her teeth, she grabbed the base of my cock and slowly, teasingly, unrolled it over my erection.

  “God, Tess.” I reached for her, but she moved out of my grasp.

  “Let me do this.” She finished putting on the condom and straddled my thighs. “I want to feel you inside of me.”

  I slid my hands underneath my head, showing her that she had full control. She smiled and positioned me at her opening. Then her hot, wet, body started to surround me, and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to grab her hips and thrust hard into her channel. I closed my eyes and focused on the sensation, loving how sweetly she rubbed along my shaft.

  When her hips finally pushed against mine, I opened my eyes to find her smiling down at me.

  “How does it feel?” she asked.

  “Amazing, it feels amazing.” Unable to control myself, I slid my fingers up and cupped her breasts. To my surprise, she didn’t push me away. Instead she moved up and down over my shaft, slowly building the need deep inside my core.

  “Tess,” I whispered as she started to quicken the pace. “Oh God.” She was doing something with her hips, some back and forth motion that was driving me mad with desire. I squeezed her breasts, loving how firm and round they felt. She tilted her head up and let her hair fall down her back as she rode me, and the sight caused me to spiral out of control.

  Planting my feet on the bed, I met her thrusts. It wasn’t long before we were coming together like animals in heat. The primal sounds of our bodies coming together mingled with our voices, and it wasn’t long before I felt as if I was standing on the edge of something vast and amazing.

  “Tess,” I groaned, but she was beyond hearing. With a whimper, I felt her body tighten around my cock. Wet heat poured over me, triggering my own release as she tumbled over the edge and into oblivion.

  I succumbed to my passion, and as my orgasm rose up and burned through my body, I knew that I had never felt anything so strong, or so amazing, in my entire life.

  “That was incredible,” I said minutes later when we were both exhausted and sated underneath the covers. “I had no idea you could do that with your hips.”

  “This?” she wiggled against me, causing me to moan as I remembered how she had moved over my cock.

  “You better be careful,” I said. “Or you won’t get any sleep tonight.”

  She raised her head and propped her chin on my chest. “That’s a chance I’m willing to take.”

  “Oh really?”

  She raised her brows in silent challenge. With a growl, I turned our bodies until I was on top of her and started ravaging her all over again.

  * * *

  Several hours later, I awoke to something moving next to me. Every muscle in my body went on high alert. Opening my eyes, I reached for my gun I kept underneath the bed and sat up. I brought the weapon up and aimed it at the door before I was fully awake.

  “Good, you’re up.”

  I blinked several times before I realized that no one was at the door, and the room was dark. The only light came from beside me, where Tess sat up in bed with the laptop she must have gotten from the kitchen.

  The adrenaline rush left me as quickly as it came, exhaling from me in a rush as I lowered the gun. “What time is it?”

  “Four in the morning.” She pressed a few keys on the laptop. “I think I found a clue about who this Anarchy troll might be.”

  She looked so natural sitting there with the computer light reflecting off her face and her long hair tied up in a messy bun. She seemed so uninhibited. It took every ounce of willpower to not drag her over into my lap.

  “You did?” I placed the gun on the end table and slid over so I could see the computer screen. “What did you find?”

  She gestured to the screen. “These are all the comments that had been posted on my blog in the past six months.”

  “Jeez, there’s a lot of them.” I pushed my fingers through my hair as she scrolled through them. “Have you been up reading them?”

  She glanced away from the computer screen and looked at me. “I filtered for comments by Anarchy and went through those to see if I could see some sort of pattern.”

  “Okay.” I frowned and leaned in closer to the screen. “So . . . did you find anything?”

  “Besides what I showed you yesterday? Not much, but there was one thing.” She turned back to the screen and started scrolling through the comments again.

  “Unity326?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t think about him because he doesn’t have the history or reputation of Anarchy and he hasn’t posted since before my visit to Africa. But before that, whenever Anarchy posted, this guy was right behind him, supporting everything he wrote.”

  “You think that this Unity326 and Anarchy know each other?”

  “Know each other, or are the same person. I had flagged Anarchy’s comments for moderation, but not Unity 326. It’s possible that Anarchy just switched user names.”

  “Or they could be a part of a political group opposed to your blog.”

  “I suppose anything is possible at this point.”

  I narrowed my gaze as I focused on Unity326’s comment. “You know nothing about our country, or our people. You make us sound like savages. We aren’t savages, you are. Go home, and leave us be.”

  “It gets worse,” Tess said. “I tried to give him my credentials and this is what he responded with.” She pointed to a different section of the screen.

  “I don’t care what education you have. You still know nothing about Tanzania. If you did, you’d know that we take care of our
own. If there is a problem, then we handle it ourselves. You’re lucky you don’t live here. If you did, you’d be dealt with using street justice.”

  I frowned. “Street justice, eh?”

  “Yeah, I’m not exactly sure what that means. Do you know?”

  “It’s a term cops use. Generally speaking, it refers to when an officer uses more force than necessary to get a suspect under control.” While common on the force, it wasn’t typically used by the public. The fact Anarchy used it suggested that he was either a cop or had police training. Still, that didn’t mean he was the one who caused the accident and put Kami in the hospital. I mentally went through the members of the department who knew about Tess’s schedule in New York and who also had ties to Tanzania. I came up with only one person, and I refused to believe that he had anything to do with this mess—especially when all of the evidence was circumstantial at best. “Lots of people say things on the internet, but then never act on them. Every day people are reporting internet trolls—”

  “Internet trolls who return to a blog every week for six months to attack the blogger under different names?”

  “We don’t know that.”

  “Even if they are different people, their message is the same. It’s obvious that Unity326 and Anarchy want me to either lie about the human rights violations going on in Tanzania, or not comment about it at all. The only question left is why?”

  “Is it just Tanzania, or other parts of the world?”

  She frowned. “They comment on my posts concerning the Middle East, but their most vile and attacking comments are reserved for Tanzania. If these guys aren’t involved in some type of corruption going on over there, I’ll hang up my blogger hat.” She widened her eyes as she turned toward me. “Perhaps whatever they are doing is based in Tanzania but stretches beyond the country’s borders.”

  “It’s possible.” She had a point. I rubbed my chin and re-read the comment. “Perhaps you can get these guys to talk more.”

  “Draw them out?”

  “Or make them slip up and say something we can use.”

  She sighed and turned back to the screen. “It seems like a long shot. Unity326 hasn’t commented in over a month, but Anarchy’s last comment was right before I left for the States. Perhaps I could start there.”