The Summer I Learned to Dive

by McCrimmon, Shannon

  “How was your father?” she asked.

  “Amazing. I can tell we have a lot in common. He’ll never be completely healed, but from what I hear the medication he’s on really seems to help,” I told her enthusiastically, happy to share any information I could about him.

  She looked down for a moment and quietly said, “That’s good to hear. I think about him,” she confessed to me, still not looking at me.

  “He thinks about you,” I replied.

  “I can’t see him, Finn.” She shook her head slightly. “I need to remember him as he was, before he left. So much has happened since we last saw each other, so many years have passed. I’ve moved on with my life,” she said.

  “Oh,” I said reflectively, nodding my head. Maybe they had already said their goodbyes just not face to face. A part of me thought it wasn’t enough for them. They needed closure.

  She let out a deep breath and reached over hugging me again. “I love you,” she whispered into my ear.

  “I love you, too,” I said.

  We talked for hours, about everything she had missed that summer. As time passed, day turned into night. We moved inside to the kitchen, sitting down sharing a bowl of chocolate ice cream and talking with each other, hanging onto every story and every word like it would be our last. I felt the pressure, the weight of time pressed upon us. I knew it would only be a matter of time until she had to leave, to head back to Florida. And in her car, in the passenger seat, I wouldn’t sit. That would be the first sign of my absence, proof that I was staying. We had so much to say to each other, making up for lost time. No matter how angry I was with my mother for lying to me, she had her reasons for doing so. She thought she knew what was best, even though it hurt me in the long run. I could forgive her in time. I wanted to forgive her. Love is about forgiveness.

  As the sun rose, its rays shined into my grandparents’ kitchen window. How could the bright and shining light from the sun ever be dreaded? At that time, I wished for the darkness of night because it meant I would have more time with her. I knew things would soon change. Things were already changing. A new part of my life had already begun. We walked outside, standing on the porch.

  “I miss the cool summer mornings in the mountains,” she said, closing her eyes and smiling, inhaling the pleasant fragrances. She opened her eyes and then looked at me.

  “It’s my favorite time of day,” I said. She wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly.

  “I’ll call you when I get back to Florida.” She wiped a tear from her eye.

  “Aren’t you too tired to drive back, Mom?” I asked. Neither of us had slept.

  “I’m fine, Finn. I’ll stop on the way if I need to. Right now, I’m wide awake, ready to get back home.”

  I reached over to hug her. She let go of me and walked toward her car. She opened the door and sat down in the driver’s seat and turned the ignition. She raised her hand and waved goodbye to me.

  It was hard watching her leave. I wanted the best of both worlds, to make her happy and myself happy. There was no way to do that. I had to do what was best for me and staying in South Carolina for the time being was what I needed and wanted to do. It just took me eighteen years to figure that out.

  I watched her drive away, realizing it would be a long time until I saw her again. The feeling was bittersweet. I wanted to have her with me but get to know my grandparents and father better. I knew I needed this—to stay in South Carolina and explore this side of myself.

  Chapter 24

  I should have been tired from being awake all night, but I wasn’t. I was wired and anxious. I felt like I was beginning the rest of my life and really living it for the first time. This was the first major decision I had ever made on my own without influence from anyone. It was liberating and frightening at the same time. I grabbed my phone and called Jesse. I wanted to tell him about my dad, my mom, about my plans to stay for a little while longer.

  “Hi,” I said.

  “Hey, how did it go?” he asked referring to my meeting with my dad.

  “Better than expected,” I said. “I have so much to tell you.”

  “Good,” he replied. “I can’t wait to hear it.”

  “Let’s go swimming,” I said with a hint of excitement.

  “I’ll meet you at the pool in twenty minutes.”

  ***

  I stood waiting for him outside of the gate. He saw me standing there and smiled at me as he pulled his car into a parking space. I could never get used to how beautiful he was. He got out of the car and sauntered over to me.

  “Hi,” he said and smiled, quickly kissing me on the lips. Every kiss with Jesse felt like a first kiss, perfect and electric.

  “How was your dad?” he asked me.

  Always the perfect gentleman, he opened the gate for me. He grabbed a hold of my hand and we walked toward the pool, swinging our arms back and forth. We each took off our shoes, and sat down at the edge of the pool. Our feet dangled over the edge, touching the cool water.

  “He was amazing. I want you to meet him some time. There’s so much to tell you,” I said, excited to share this part of my life with Jesse.

  He smiled and said, “I want to hear everything.”’ He paused for a minute. “Finn, I talked with my dad,” his tone more serious.

  “You did?” It surprised me.

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “I told him that he needed to get help, that I couldn’t take care of him anymore.”

  I didn’t say anything. I was shocked but pleased.

  “What you said to me at Dixon Park really hit me. I mean, it made me think about things, about how I’m always living for him instead of for me,” he said. “And I can’t live my life like that anymore.” He looked at me, his eyes sincere.

  “What did he say?” I asked, hoping beyond hope that his dad decided to see reason, to get some help. It hurt me to see Jesse act his caretaker. It wasn’t fair to him.

  “He’s going to get some help,” he said, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “That’s great, Jesse.” I smiled happily.

  “I wouldn’t have had that talk with him if it hadn’t been for you.” He looked at me again, his expression still serious.

  “What, no,” I said nonchalantly.

  “It’s true, Finn. You’ve made a difference in my life.” He touched my hand and gently squeezed it.

  It was a perfect morning, cloudless and sunny. The air was warm, not overbearingly hot. I could tell it was going to be a gorgeous day. He took off his shirt, his beautiful muscular chest exposed. No matter what, I could never get used to his remarkable body. I would always look at it and marvel, staring as if it were the first time seeing it. I blushed and looked the other way.

  “Finn.” He got up and looked down at me. “Do you want to dive off the high dive?” he asked, moving his head up in its direction.

  “Yes,” I said with conviction. I was ready, more prepared than I had ever been. At that moment and in that time, I wanted to do it. I would have time to tell Jesse about my dad, about my talk with my mom, and about my plans to stay. But first, I wanted to jump off that high dive, to prove to myself that I could do it. He offered me his hand. I took a hold of it and stood up. I kissed him long and hard, my lips tingling from the sensation. I walked toward the high dive and took off my t-shirt and shorts, my skimpy bikini that I still wasn’t used to, now exposed. He sat on the edge of the pool watching me as I climbed the ladder.

  The view was intimidating and frightening. I could see so much from up there, the top of buildings, the entire town of Graceville. Everything below looked so small, so insignificant. If I had thought about what I was doing, standing so many feet off the ground about to dive into a pool of water, I would probably have turned around and walked, no, ran, out of there. Instead, I ignored t
he foolish voice in my head that told me to stop. I listened to the other voice, the one that told me to go for it. I looked down at Jesse.

  “You can do it, Finn!” he yelled encouragingly.

  I raised my arms above my head, clasping my hands together, pointing my fingers to the sky. “I’m ready!” I shouted. I looked down into the deep water and plunged forward, never looking back. My body hit the water, nearly swimming to the bottom of the pool. I swam toward the surface, my head bobbing up. I saw Jesse’s pleased expression. Feeling triumphant, I swam toward the steps, ready to dive again.

  Finn’s story continues

  Check out the sequel, The Year I Almost Drowned.

  In this continuation of “The Summer I Learned to Dive,” nineteen-year old Finley “Finn” Hemmings is living in Graceville, South Carolina with her grandparents. She’s getting to know the family that she was separated from for the last sixteen years. Finn and Jesse’s relationship seems to be going strong until they’re forced to deal with obstacles that throw them off-track. As Finn prepares to leave for college, she has to say goodbye to the town, her friends and family, and the way of life that she has grown to love.

  At college, Finn tries to acclimate to a new setting, but quickly falls into an old pattern. Just as things start to become normal and Finn begins to fit in, something unexpected happens that takes her back to Graceville where she is forced to deal with one challenge after another. Her world nearly collapses, and she finds herself struggling to keep from drowning. Through it all, Finn discovers the power of love and friendship. She learns what it means to follow her heart and to stay true to what she wants, even if what she wants isn’t what she originally planned.

  Acknowledgements

  I’d like the following people for impacting me in one way or another: My best friend and awesome husband, Chris Jones, for his constant support and constructive criticism. His encouragement helped me to keep on trucking. Thanks for talking to me about these characters like they were real people and offering opinions about what they would or would not do or say. My mom, for offering great suggestions on how to improve the story and for uplifting me in my darkest moments of despair. My dear friend, Audrey Perrott, for her meticulous eye for detail. Without her expertise in all things grammatical, this could have ended up being one big conglomerated mess. Betty Jones, for making the sunrise even better. Annie Koelle, for her beautiful and inspirational art work. And the band Vetiver for singing The Swimming Song.

  About The Author

  Shannon McCrimmon grew up in Central Florida and moved to the upstate of South Carolina a few years ago. Although she has enjoyed writing since she was a little girl, it was the move to South Carolina that inspired her to listen to and write down the words of her beloved character, Finley Hemmings. She lives in Greenville, South Carolina with her husband and toy poodle.

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