“I can’t look!” Honey replied. “I don’t know what I’m looking for.”
“Camilla?” Dawn asked her sister but Camilla buried her face in her palms.
“I can’t, Dawnie. I feel faint.”
“It’s all right, I’ve got this.” Allie pushed the coffee table out of the way. “Honey, you keep holding her hand and Camilla… CAMILLA!”
“What?” Camilla raised her head but kept her eyes averted from her sister. “Go through to the cottage and get some clean towels. Jordan and Max should have some in the kitchen but if not, check upstairs.”
“Can Jordan help with this?” Camilla asked hopefully.
“He’s not here. Max has taken him into London for a night out.”
“Oh… okay.”
“Hurry up!”
Camilla nodded then disappeared through to the living quarters that formed the rear of the cottage. Allie had lived there with her son, until Chris returned to the village and had asked Allie to move in with him. Since then, Jordan’s boyfriend Max had moved in.
“Right, Dawnie, Rick is on his way. He’s going to drop the children with your mum and dad then come straight here.”
“Okay.” Dawn nodded then closed her eyes, squeezing Honey’s hand again as another pain overwhelmed her body.
“I’m going to remove your underwear and have a look now. Is that okay?”
“Yes.” Dawn’s lips blanched as she pressed them together.
“Can I do anything else?” Honey asked, feeling utterly helpless as she watched her friend in pain.
“Just hold her hand and say comforting things,” Allie said.
What classed as comforting to a woman in labour?
“There, there, Dawnie. It’ll all be fine.” Honey grimaced as the words sounded so weak in the face of what Dawn was going through. “You’ve done this twice, so third time’ll be a doddle.”
Dawn opened her eyes and guffawed. “A doddle? Shit, Honey, you can tell you haven’t done this. Childbirth is never a doddle.”
“Sorry.” Honey’s cheeks burned. “I just didn’t know what to say.”
“Ouch!” Dawn jolted on the sofa.
“Oh god, Dawnie, I can see the head!”
Honey leaned forwards and gasped. “Is that the baby’s hair?”
Allie pursed her lips but her shoulders shook.
“No, that’s not the baby’s hair…” She gestured at the place where Honey was looking, and Honey realised that what she’d seen was in fact hair that belonged to Dawn. “Come around a bit and look… there.”
Honey peered at where Allie was pointing.
“Oh… I see it! I can see the baby’s head. You’re having a baby, Dawnie!”
“Gaaaahhhhh!” Dawn groaned and Honey quickly looked away as the baby’s head stretched parts of her friend that she’d never wanted to see.
“Arghhh!” Honey cried as Dawn crunched her fingers together.
“Hurry up, Camilla!” Allie shouted.
Camilla appeared, clutching a pile of multi-coloured towels and threw them down in front of Allie, who quickly tucked some under her friend then draped one over her arm.
“Here. We. Go.” Dawn pressed her chin to her chest and emitted a sound that Honey could only describe as raw animal pain. The noise was echoed by Camilla as she swooned to the floor, while the door to the café swung open and Rick appeared, his eyes wide and his face coated in a sheen of sweat.
“Dawnie!” he cried as he dashed to his wife’s side.
“Rick… You made it.” Dawn’s voice was full of relief.
“You have a beautiful baby girl.”
A cry filled the room as the newborn took her first breath, and something inside Honey fluttered like the wings of a moth about to take flight. She swallowed it down, refusing to acknowledge the surge of emotion and deep sense of loss.
Allie carefully wrapped the baby in a towel then placed her on Dawn’s stomach, and Honey slumped against the wall as the pain in her hand subsided now that Dawn had released it.
“Where’s Camilla?” Allie asked.
“Over here.” Camilla emerged from behind the coffee table rubbing her forehead.
“Are you all right?”
“I think so. I just can’t stand to see Dawnie in pain and I must’ve fainted.”
“We’d better get you checked out,” Allie said as she helped Camilla to sit on a chair.
“Me too,” Honey said as she held out her squashed hand.
“Welcome to The Cosy Cottage Café little one,” Dawn said as she gazed into the face of her tiny baby. “Say hello to your daddy and three aunties.”
Honey smiled in response, but she couldn’t see a thing because her eyes were filled with tears.
Dawn’s midwife made it to the café before the paramedics. She’d been in the area seeing her own pregnant daughter, and Rick had called her straight after Allie had spoken to him.
Once she’d checked Dawn and the baby over, cut the cord and ensured that the placenta had come away, she accepted a cup of tea from Allie and sat opposite Dawn and Rick who were cuddled up on the sofa with their new baby.
Honey was on the chair next to the midwife, nursing her own cup of tea and wondering when she’d be able to talk properly again. She was so overwhelmed that she kept choking up. Dawn had just given birth to her third child in Allie’s café and everyone was fine. It was all fine. Sometimes things did work out the way they were supposed to.
Honey turned to the midwife, a rosy-cheeked woman in her early fifties who seemed to have a permanent smile on her lovely face.
“Will…” She cleared her throat. “Will they both be okay?”
“Yes, dear, of course they will. That was a very straightforward labour. Dawn’s done it twice before so third time was a charm.”
“They don’t need to go to hospital?”
“Not at all. Many women have successful home births, and although this is a café, she had no problems in her labour and the baby is feeding well.”
Honey nodded and returned her gaze to Dawn, who was cradling her daughter in her arms as she took her first feed. Allie had replaced the wet and bloodied towels with clean dry ones and fetched a soft blanket from the café cottage to wrap around Dawn. Rick had brought Dawn’s delivery bag along, so Dawn would be able to change into fresh pyjamas before they made their way home.
“Hello!” Chris, Allie’s partner, entered the café and grinned at everyone. “I hear there’s a new baby in the village?”
“Hi love.” Honey watched as Chris’s eyes lit up when they roamed Allie’s face.
“I’ve brought a little something to celebrate.” Chris held up two bottles of champagne. “We had them in the fridge at home ready for a special occasion and this is evidently the right time.”
“I’ll get some glasses,” Allie said.
“I think you’d better change too, Allie.” Chris pulled a face as he pointed at her jeans.
“I hadn’t even noticed.” Allie looked down at the dark damp patches on her legs.
Honey suspected that they’d need to give the sofa and café a thorough clean the next day before opening, but knew that big-hearted Allie wouldn’t mind. Her best friend’s baby had just made its way into the world in her café; there was nothing negative in that at all.
Honey had to blink hard again as tears flooded her eyes. She wasn’t usually so emotional but this… this was incredible and, of course, it brought some of her suppressed emotions to the surface. How could it not? But right now she was extremely happy for her friends. She also realised that she wished Dane was there to share this perfect moment.
“Right lovelies, the paramedics are here,” the midwife peered through the window, “so I’ll have a quick chat with them before they check you over, then we’ll leave you to it.”
“Thank you so much,” Rick said.
Twenty minutes later, the midwife and the paramedics had gone and Allie and Dawn had both changed; Dawn into the pyjamas from her delivery b
ag and Allie into one of Jordan’s large hoodies and a pair of his jogging bottoms that she’d retrieved from upstairs.
Chris had popped the cork on one of the bottles of champagne and poured the bubbly liquid into glasses that Honey had fetched from the kitchen while Allie and Dawn changed.
Chris handed everyone a glass, except for Dawn, who shook her head, then raised his own.
“Congratulations to Dawn and Rick on the birth of little… uh…” He frowned. “Do you have a name yet?”
Dawn and Rick looked at each other then back at Chris.
“Alison.” Dawn stroked her baby’s cheek. “For Allie because she helped me deliver this beautiful girl.”
“You don’t have to do that, Dawn. “ Allie shook her head.
“We want to. If we call her Allie, it’ll be too confusing, so we’ll go with Alison.”
“In fact,” Rick said, “her full name will be Alison Camilla Honey Dix-Beaumont.”
“Really?” Honey squealed then covered her mouth. “Oh my goodness. I can’t take any more emotion! It’s all just too lovely.”
“So,” Chris said, raising his glass once more, “congratulations to Dawn, Rick and little Alison Camilla Honey!”
They all clinked glasses then drank the cool, crisp champagne and Honey gazed around the café at her friends, old and new. Moments like these were so precious and she took a mental snapshot, intending to treasure it, and hoping she’d get the chance to tell Dane all about it soon.
6
The two glasses of champagne had made Honey lightheaded and as she made her way home, she had the sensation of walking on air. It made her want to continue the evening, to make the most of such a wonderful feeling. She could pop to Dane’s and tell him what had happened. Even if he was working, she hoped he’d have ten minutes to spare for a chat.
On the way there, she stopped three times and almost turned back and made for home, but her desire to see him was strong so she surrendered to it and let her feet carry her to Dane’s rented cottage.
She paused outside the front door. Honey had not always been sensible and thought things through before acting, but time and experience had made her cautious and what she was about to do was, in her opinion, a bit… reckless. But then, she was only popping to see a friend for a cuppa. What harm could it do?
She knocked on the door before she could change her mind again.
“Honey!” Dane looked genuinely pleased as he opened the door.
“Hi Dane. Um… I hope it’s okay to just turn up. I know we didn’t have plans but I… uh… wanted to see you to let you know what happened this evening. I hope that’s okay? Oh gosh, I doubt it is, is it? I should go. You’re probably really busy and I don’t want to intrude on your evening. Ok… uh… I’ll be off.”
She turned to go but Dane placed his hand on her shoulder. She paused, not wanting to pull away as that could be seen as rude, but she knew that if she turned around he would see that her face was scarlet with embarrassment.
“Honey?”
“Yes?”
“Please look at me.”
“Okay.”
She turned slowly and he removed his hand from her shoulder.
“I’m delighted to see you. It’s a lovely surprise and to be honest… I was thinking about you this evening. I thought you’d be at the café with your friends though. I know it’s your designated girls’ night in with them.” He smiled. “I’ve been struggling to concentrate on my marking and it would be nice to have a break. Come in and I’ll put the kettle on.”
Honey was suddenly conscious of his close proximity, of how his blue eyes held hers and of how good he smelt, like sandalwood with a hint of woodsmoke from the fire.
It might have been the champagne, or it might have been months of longing, but she threw all of her caution to the wind. She pushed her concerns, worries and insecurities aside, flung herself towards him, then wrapped her arms around his neck. He froze for a moment, then slid his arms around her waist. And they were kissing. Gently at first, then with growing need, as if they’d both waited too long for this moment and needed to make up for lost time.
Then he carried Honey through the door, pushed it closed with his foot and shut out the world.
They were alone.
At last.
Honey blinked several times, trying to make sense of her surroundings.
She sat up with a jolt and pulled the covers to her chest as realisation dawned.
Had that really happened last night?
Had she gone to Dane’s and thrown herself at him and…
A rustling made her turn. Yes. It was true. Dane was lying next to her, over six foot of muscular man, his chest bare for her to admire. And admire it she did, before forcing herself to do a reality check.
She had spent the night with Dane!
They had… done things… and she’d thoroughly enjoyed herself, but she had no right to allow herself to have so much fun, to feel so alive and to surrender to her emotions. Honey was good at being sensible and holding back. But last night she’d let her barriers down and made love to this beautiful man. And now, as she watched him sleep, his dark eyelashes fluttering gently and his full lips slightly parted, fear crawled over her, digging its icy fingers into her heart. She couldn’t do this. She’d held back for so long, doubting that Dane could want her and worrying about what might happen if he did.
But Dane had been holding back too; that was evident from the outpouring of passion he’d shown last night and the sweet things he’d whispered as he’d held her and kissed her. Honey had pressed her lips together, not wanting to make promises she couldn’t keep and fearing telling him anything in case everything came pouring out, but it had been so, so difficult. Sealing their relationship by making love to him was the worst thing she could have done, because now her heart was laid bare and they were both vulnerable.
Dane had told her as much last night and the thought of hurting him made her stomach churn. But if she left now, sneaked away and kept her distance, Dane might well be all right. He’d soon recover and see it as a one-night stand. Wouldn’t he? A one-night stand that had got the passion out of their systems in order to enable them to both move on.
Honey hoped Dane would be able to move on, even as she hated the thought of him being with another woman. She would have to harden her heart to her feelings for him because she didn’t deserve to love and be loved. It was too risky, too dangerous; for her and for him.
As much as they had seemed to know each other last night when their limbs had been tangled in Dane’s sheets and they’d been as close as two humans could be, the problem was that Dane didn’t really know Honey at all. He didn’t know what she’d done in the past and what had happened to her. She hadn’t told him the whole truth and she didn’t know if she ever could. She couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes, to watch as the light faded as he realised what she was really like. As it became clear that she had omitted to share the whole truth.
Honey slipped from under the covers then rooted around on the floor for her clothes. Once she’d found them, she left the bedroom as quietly as she could and descended the stairs, her heart pounding in her chest with each step in case Dane came chasing after her. But he didn’t. He was fast asleep and for that she was grateful.
She dressed in the semi-darkness of his hallway, pushed her feet into her boots, and grabbed her coat from the bottom of the banister. She paused for a moment, almost wishing that Dane would appear at the top of the stairs and ask where she was going, but the house stayed quiet.
So she let herself out of his cottage, closed the door gently behind her, and hurried home, hoping that it was early enough that none of the villagers would see her walking home in the grey light of dawn. Hoping that she could go home and get into bed and wake up to find that this had all been a dream.
But Honey had a terrible feeling that this would be there for the rest of her life, taunting her and reminding her that she let people down. Even th
e people she should be holding dear.
7
Honey turned her mobile off as soon as she got home then went straight to bed. She crawled beneath the cool duvet, shivering with cold and sadness, and tried not to think about how warm and solid Dane’s body had felt in bed next to her.
It just wasn’t meant to be.
It couldn’t be.
She closed her eyes and tried to focus on her breathing, to allow the oblivion of sleep to claim her, but it just wouldn’t come. She tossed and turned, wondering if Dane was all right and if he’d got up and gone to school as usual. Was he wondering why she’d disappeared? Was he angry or confused, sad or hurt? She hoped he was none of those things and that he’d gone off to work to spend a day educating the local children and that he would secure the job next week at interview. At least then he could make some decisions about his future and know if he’d need to move on or if he could settle in the village.
Not that Dane settling in the village would be a good thing for Honey, now. Knowing he was here every day, in Heatherlea, living his life while she lived hers would be so hard.
She pushed the covers back and sat up. Did she really need to do this? Had she acted rashly in a moment of panic? Perhaps pushing him away wasn’t necessary. They evidently cared about each other, so couldn’t she find a way to tell him the truth about her past, then see if he wanted to try to make a go of things with her?
Trying to sleep wasn’t going to work. Besides, she needed to see to the chickens, so she pulled on her clothes and trudged down the stairs. Whatever happened, the chickens needed her. When she opened the coop, they trotted out happily, oblivious to everything except the physical need for food, water and fresh air. If only life could be as simple for humans, if only she didn’t have needs and desires that went beyond food, water and shelter.
Honey could run through as many renditions of if only as she liked, but she couldn’t escape the truth.
She had some things to sort out and she knew where she needed to start.
A Year at The Cosy Cottage Café: A heart-warming feel-good read about life, love, loss, friendship and second chances Page 36