by Tara Gill
“I am.”
Reuben looked down, then took a breath before addressing me, hands on hips. “I’m sorry, Jasmine. You must have been so confused and hurt when I never returned to you. I just…I was messed up after this attack, thinking you’d never want damaged goods, that no sane woman would. That…” He stopped, getting choked up.
My eyes misted, and I let him see my hurt, the fear that he wouldn’t want me — us — how lonely I was without him. “Yes, it hurt that you didn’t reach out. I thought I was being a fool for trusting in us, for believing in you. But I think…in my heart, I knew that you’d never stay away without a good reason.”
He stomped forward and came to a halt opposite me, the kitchen island between us. “I promise I’ll never hurt you again, not if I can help it. Not ever again.”
Then his face hardened, and he growled, “You’ll marry me, and we’ll raise our child together. I won’t have my kid raised away from me, nor will I be without my mate.”
His hands clenched. He clearly didn’t plan on leaving me another choice.
But the truth was, I wanted everything he’d just offered.
“I’m fine with that,” I said.
He didn’t seem to hear me. He rubbed the back of his neck, glanced up at the ceiling, then sighed. “I know we were attracted to each other before. But I look different now. Damaged. And it’s not just the scars on my face. It’s worse under the clothes. Not a pretty sight. But I’ll be a good mate to you. There are…options for removing, or at least reducing, some of the scarring. I’ve already started looking into it. I’ll love you and our child. No one will ever take care of you both like I will.”
My heart broke as Reuben tried to convince me that he was a good bet. “I agree.”
He kept going, still heedless to my assent. “There are spells that can help. My cousin is a witch, and his covens has spells to remove disfigurements on other witches. It’s never been done on a shifter, but the principle is the same, so they’re hopeful it’ll work. I wasn’t in the mood to try it before, but I think it could help us.”
I finished my water and slammed the glass down. Going around the island, I faced him.
“Reuben,” I interrupted when he began to elaborate more on the likelihood of the spell’s success. Even though I was curious about his cousin, I didn’t need to hear more. Witches? Really? I didn’t even know they existed. But I should have known; after all, werebears weren’t exactly a normal phenomenon.
“If you’d been listening, you’d have noticed I already said I’ll be yours.”
He blinked down at me, surprised to see me standing so close, then turned and then turned a bit so I could see only the non-damaged side of his face.
“No, don’t do that.” I cupped his cheek and guided him back to face me fully.
My fingers tingled. I’d missed touching Reuben; I needed to feel his skin against mine. My libido kicked in and my breaths speeded. But also, something in my soul slid back into place — I had been incomplete without my mate all these months. Ever since my parents had died, I’d felt unseen and anchorless. Light as a feather at times – as if I could fly away from this world and no one would notice or care. Invisible. I’d been longing for a family of my own, and now I’d found it. Reuben was my family. My eyes welled with the sort of happiness that only came, after pain – it was all the sweeter for it.
Reuben tried to turn away, pulling at my hold. “Jasmine…” he groaned.
I swallowed hard and smiled at him. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t hide from me. It’s just me. Your mate. Your scars don’t frighten me away. Military kid, remember?” I said, my voice soft. “I’ve met people horrifically injured in the line of duty, and I consider them heroes. You protected your aunt from those sick people. I can’t imagine what condition you were in afterwards. I’m so glad you’re whole – I need you, and so does our baby.”
I clasped his hand and placed it on my belly. It was still flat, but on occasion, I thought I felt the stirrings of the baby within.
His hand shook against my skin. “Have I been an idiot? Thinking you wouldn’t want me, making myself crazy, with indecision and fear?”
I cupped his face with my hands, “You’re not an idiot,” I avowed emphatically. “If something like this happened to me, I’d hate for you to see me damaged and hurt, too. Every woman wants to be attractive to her partner. And you made me feel so beautiful that day in your room — I’ll never forget. But if this would’ve happen to me and I was… damaged, would you let me hide? Run?”
“Never!” His eyes were fierce. “I love you for what’s in here.” He placed a trembling hand above my heart. “You’re gorgeous, my mate. But long after what’s outside is gone, I’ll have the other, and that’s all that matters to me. Old or scarred, you’re beautiful in my eyes.”
I’d finally gotten the message across. Through my tears, I grinned at him. “There you go. That’s the same way I love you.”
“You love me too?” His voice was choked.
I leaned in, my forehead meeting his. “I adore you, my Rueben. I’m never letting you leave me again.”
Somehow, we ended up in each other’s arms. I just stood there, enjoying the sense of belonging I’d longed for all these years. My soul had found its home.
*
Reuben made steaks, gravy and salad. I ate with a voracious appetite, and he approved. Often, he’d stop eating, watching my mouth with hot eyes. I exaggerated my moans and sighs, just to provoke him, but not by much.
My man was a great cook. “Thanks for the meal. It’s delicious. I think I lucked out with you.”
He laughed. “I enjoy cooking for two. I don’t mind feeding my mate and cub every day if I have to. It’ll be a pleasure.”
“What about when I have cravings?” My pregnant body still craved donuts with cream cheese. Ugh.
With a curious look, he leaned closer. “You mentioned them before. What do you need? I can have it ordered and delivered by morning.”
“Oh! I can never tell what I want one week to the next. It keeps changing. The other day I ate strawberry jam on poached eggs. Another time it was celery with cherry ice cream.”
“Those are odd combinations, but I’ll make sure to get them stocked.” His eyes twinkled.
“That sounds wonderful, thanks!” I beamed at him. Max got squicked out and made disgusted’ faces when I divulged my midnight snack menu, but Reuben appeared to be enchanted.
He smiled. “That’s my job — to spoil my mate.”
Reuben whipped out a notepad and pen and started asking me all sorts of questions about my food habits, nausea, and sleeping schedule.
“I take short naps in the daytime. The fatigue just overcomes me, and the next thing I know, I’m snoring away. Umm, not that I snore. But it is a reason why I wake up in the middle of the night. As for the nausea, it’s an all-day thing. I do take medication for it, but sometimes even the smells of cooking bring it on, so—”
He frowned and jotted down something. “Not to worry. I’ll take care of the cooking from now on. You know, you should probably see a shifter healer. This pregnancy will be different from a human one. Our cub will most likely be a werebear, given I’m full blooded and you’re half.”
“All right,” I agreed with a yawn. My stomach was full, and I was sleepy.
“I’ll make an appointment this week. Now, it’s back to bed for you.” Reuben’s voice was stern.
I stood, sighing. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. My body seems to need a lot of rest these days. I need to go to the bathroom more often, too.”
I stopped speaking. What the hell was I blabbering about to my mate?! Totally unsexy!
But he didn’t seem grossed out; he was listening with interest.
“Um.” I bit my lip. “Maybe that was TMI...I should just go before I die of embarrassment.” I pointed towards the exit from the kitchen.
He chuckled. “Don’t ever be ashamed of what carrying my baby is doing to you. I intend to e
njoy your pregnancy.” His eyes dropped to my breasts, which were visibly fuller. Then he slid a careful arm around me. Gauging my reaction, he kissed my cheek.
I sighed and leaned into him. His arm tightened. My body heated at his proximity, and I slid an arm around his waist, and furtively sniffed him.
“Come on.” From the kitchen he took me up to the first floor. “This is my bedroom. It’s large enough for us to share and has a full-bath, too. You can stay here with me, if you like.” He studied me with watchful eyes.
“I’d love to stay in your room.” I grinned up at him.
He swallowed. “I’ll show you around.” My eyes followed the muscles of his throat and rested on his firm sensual mouth. I licked my dry lips, remembering the way he’d kissed me for days. Suddenly vivid images of our past intimacy cascaded through my mind, and another kind of hunger started building in my body. I pressed my thighs together, as heat built in my belly.
“This has a great view in the mornings.” His bedroom had a large stained-glass window that faced east with cushioned window seats. The view at dawn would be stunning. I envisioned many mornings where I’d curl up at the window with a book and a warm cup of coffee — when I could stomach coffee again.
At the center, his canopied bed was heavy and high. A polished wood floor, plush white rugs, and doors opening into the closet and the bathroom made up the rest of the room.
Reuben showed me the closet — which had enough space for my entire wardrobe and then some. “This used to be my parents’ room. I moved in a few years back. I’ll bring your bag up and you can hang your clothes in the closet. Maybe we can have your things from Tampa moved here, as well.” He glanced at me from the corner of his eye.
I’d have to call Max and ask for her help with that. “Sure. But can we discuss that later? Tonight, I want my mate to make love to me.”
Chapter 9
Jasmine
His honey-gold eyes flared with lust and dropped to my hardened nipples, but then he frowned with concern. “Are you sure? I’d love to make love to you, but not when you need rest.”
“Ah, yeah,” I inhaled, cheeks flushed, “Sleep can wait. I…uh...kind of need you now.”
“As you wish.” With gentle fingers, he helped me out of my pajama’s sleeveless top and gazed at me, awestruck.
He swallowed and pushed shaky fingers through his hair. “You’re even more stunning than I remember,” he said roughly.
His reverent hands trailed my skin. Goosebumps broke out everywhere. I gasped when Reuben cupped my breasts, which felt more sensitive than normal. Going down on his knees, he paid special attention to my abdomen, rubbing and kissing the skin there, though there was no evidence of any baby belly.
“I can’t wait for you to be born, little cub. I promise to love you and your mom, and be the best dad and mate I can be,” he said to my tummy.
My heart warmed. “The first trimester is over, but its going to be at least another five months. According to the shifter healer I saw — someone my Mom used to see — this baby is set to be born in the new year.”
“The baby will arrive in January?” Reuben looked both anxious and hyper-excited. I had to smile. “But…you’re still so…flat,” he said, passing his abrasive fingers over my abdomen again. My pussy clenched, needy at his touch so close to where I wanted it.
“Some women show later and lesser than others, apparently. It nothing to worry about. Come up here, you, let me kiss you.” I wound my hands through his thick hair and coaxed him up. Then I pulled off his T-shirt. He stiffened but let me strip his torso.
“You’re gorgeous, Reuben,” I breathed faster. Massive, with muscled biceps, and in perfect proportion, he was the epitome of male beauty — as if some higher being tailored him with perfect dimensions. He loomed like an ancient, golden=skinned warrior returned from a battle. Manly in a way that many urban gym-rats could never aspire to be.
No number of scars could make Reuben ugly to any woman. Standing on tiptoe, I kissed his disbelieving eyes, his cheek, the scar at his neck and down the front of his chest, following his happy trail. He had that Adonis belt which was so sexy. My mouth watered, and I licked my way along the side of his lips. I was so wet, and my pussy ached for his cock.
Hands clenched, Reuben stood still for me, but his breath grew faster. My fingers rubbed his nipples and then lightly pinched them. His breath hitched, and I grinned. But my smile fell when I saw his back, which had vicious-looking slashes stretching all the way around to his sides. My teeth clenched, anger flaring at the damage he’d borne.
“I hate that you had to through this. Was it very bad? Did the blood magic get into your bloodstream?” I leaned my forehead against his back.
After a pause, Reuben answered. “There was no internal damage. I collapsed due to blood loss and was unable to shift back for a while. The delay in shifting wasn’t life-threatening, but it caused some surface damage because of the magic. Mainly it just hurt like a bitch.”
That explained it. If weres got wounded and shifted immediately, the healing was instant. But the delay in Reuben shifting back meant that while he healed, there was some collateral scarring.
“It’s more than surface damage. These are a symbol that you’re a warrior. My warrior. Watch me in the mirror Reuben.” The mirror was to our right and showed both of us in profile. Reuben angled his face to observe me.
I rubbed him everywhere, unable to keep my hands away from his skin, relishing the texture — with the fine sprinkling of brown hair everywhere and solid muscles just below — as well as his proximity and the smell of hot, aroused male.
Scattering small kisses all the way down his neck, back and the indent of his spine, I reached the waistband of his pants.
Reuben’s face twisted with strong feeling as he watched me. His eyes misted, and he said in a strangled voice, “I’m so glad you came to me.”
I tugged at his pants. “Me too. Now take these off.”
“There are more scars,” he warned.
“You saw me when I kissed you, touched you. Did I look as if they freaked me out?”
“No,” he said reluctantly.
“Then get naked.”
With a hoarse chuckle, he dropped his jeans, exposing thick thighs, a taut ass and muscular calves. His skin was golden, and my mouth watered. There was another scar behind his left knee. That must have hurt.
“Lie down on the bed. I want to explore you.” With insistent hands, I nudged him forward to lay on his front on the massive bed and kissed my way down his thighs. My tongue flicked out to taste his skin. I nibbled, kissed, licked my way up his legs.
“Enough. I need you,” he groaned.
“Wait.” I revelled in touching him, tasting him. His ass looked so firm and delectable, I couldn’t help but bite him.
“Fuck!” He jerked. Turning around, he grabbed me and tossed me on the bed. Eyes fevered, he growled at me. “I’ve reached my limit...I'm going to take you now. Hard!"
Were-gold gleamed in his eyes and his hands shook as he ripped my lacy shorts off me. Scraps of lace flew through the air, but I didn’t care. I was glad to be naked. I was heated, and needed fresh air, or even better — to be naked with my mate.
Kneeling at my feet, he said, “God, you look delicious. Like the tastiest morsel alive….more beautiful than all my dreams about you.”
“I dreamed about you, too,” I said huskily.
“What did you dream?” He lifted my foot and kissed my little toe.
My breathing quickened. “This. Being near you, touching you.” Pregnancy hormones made me needy. My clitoral vibrator found use at least once every night, and my dreams descended sometimes into x-rated scenarios — all starring Reuben and myself.
His eyes narrowed on my flushed cheeks. “You had other dreams, too, didn’t you? About me?” His shoulders straightened at this and he seemed suddenly taller.
I bit my lip. “Uh-huh.” Oh, I’d had dreams. Naughty ones that involved him taking me aga
inst some flat surface — a bed, a wall, a table, his workshop, once even in a spaceship. My eyes dilated as I recalled one particular dream where he’d tied me up.
“What do I do to you in those dreams?” Reuben’s voice was guttural.
“You taste me everywhere,” I whispered. His eyes flared.
“Like this?” He licked the back of my knee.
“Mmhm,” I moaned.
“Did I taste you here? Your pussy?” He bit me at the juncture of my thigh and pelvis. I could barely bear the anticipation.
“Mmhm.” In my dreams, he couldn’t get enough of my vagina, and devoured me until I climaxed endlessly.
Now Reuben inhaled the scent of me. His eyes rolled with pleasure. “You smell so good. And you’re soaked.”
Eyes gloating, he hungrily took in the intimate view. “What a beautiful little pussy. And it’s all mine.”
He ran a light finger through my slit. Then placed a thumb on either side and pulled my labia apart and just looked at me. I stirred, feeling embarrassed yet safe. My legs moved restlessly. “So pink, so pretty,” he breathed.
He circled a thick finger around my opening, then he brought it back to his lips and licked it. “Mmm. You’re dripping wet for me. And just as delicious as I remember. Got to taste you more,” he growled.
First, he lashed my clit with small delicate licks which stimulated my sensitive flesh so much that I shifted, unable to stay still. He braced his arm across my hips, took my clit in his mouth and sucked me hard.
My whole body jerked. “It’s too much Reuben!”
He softened the force but continued sucking as I thrashed and groaned, climbing a sensual slope until I wasn’t even here in this room.
“That’s a good girl. Come for me, yes, like that! Let go, baby, I’ve got you.”
I burst in a shower of stars that overtook my body in spasms until I was floating. It took me a few minutes to come down. When I became aware again, my legs were parted and lax, and a light coat of perspiration covered my skin.