Kansas City Noir

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by Steve Paul


  Catherine Browder is a Kansas City–based fiction writer and playwright, with two story collections published: The Clay That Breathes and Secret Lives. Her plays have been produced regionally and in New York, and her awards include fellowships from the NEA and the Missouri Arts Council. She teaches in the creative writing program at the University of Missouri, Kansas City, and is advisory editor for New Letters.

  Matthew Eck was recently recognized as one of the National Book Foundation’s “5 under 35” writers to watch. His novel The Farther Shore won the Milkweed National Fiction Prize and was a Barnes and Noble Discover Great New Writers selection. The novel has been translated into German and Norwegian. He is a professor of creative writing and literature at the University of Central Missouri, where he is also a fiction editor for Pleiades.

  J. Malcolm Garcia is the author of The Khaarijee: A Chronicle of Friendship and War in Kabul (Beacon, 2009), and Riding through Katrina with the Red Baron’s Ghost (Kindle Edition, 2010). His articles have been featured in Best American Travel Writing and Best American Nonrequired Reading.

  John Lutz is the author of more than forty novels, including SWF Seeks Same, The Ex, Mister X, and two private-eye series, one set in St. Louis, the other in Florida. He’s a past president of the Mystery Writers of America and the Private Eye Writers of America, and has won awards from those organizations and others. He lives in St. Louis and Sarasota, Florida.

  Phong Nguyen’s first collection of short stories, Memory Sickness, won the 2010 Elixir Press Fiction Award; his stories have appeared in numerous literary magazines, including Agni, Beloit Fiction Journal, Boulevard, Florida Review, Iowa Review, Massachusetts Review, New Ohio Review, Meridian, and Portland Review. Formerly editor of Cream City Review, he currently serves as editor of Pleiades, and is an associate professor of fiction at the University of Central Missouri.

  Steve Paul has worked at the Kansas City Star since 1975. As senior writer and arts editor, he writes about music, books, architecture, food, and other subjects. His book Architecture A to Z: An Elemental, Alphabetical Guide to Kansas City’s Built Environment was published in 2011. He is coeditor of War + Ink, a forthcoming collection of essays on Ernest Hemingway, and a former director of the National Book Critics Circle.

  Nadia Pflaum is a freelance writer and legal investigator in Kansas City. Her nonfiction work has been published in Kansas City’s alt-weekly, The Pitch, on Salon, and in Best Music Writing 2008.

  Nancy Pickard is the author of eighteen popular and critically acclaimed novels, including the Jenny Cain and Marie Lightfoot mystery series. She is a four-time Edgar Award finalist and has won the Agatha, Anthony, Macavity, Barry, and Shamus awards. Pickard is a founding member and former president of Sisters in Crime.

  Kevin Prufer is the author of numerous critically acclaimed books of poetry. His mysteries appear in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, Crimewave, and elsewhere. He lived in the greater Kansas City area for fifteen years before moving to Texas, where he is a professor in the creative writing program at the University of Houston.

  Andrés Rodríguez is a native of Kansas City. He is the author of Night Song and Book of the Heart. In 2007 he won Poets & Writers’ Maureen Egan Writers Exchange Award for Poetry. His poetry and prose have appeared in such journals as Harvard Review, Drunken Boat, Cortland Review, Sagetrieb, and Palabra.

  Linda Rodriguez is the author of Every Last Secret, winner of the Malice Domestic First Traditional Mystery Novel Competition, and two award-winning books of poetry, Heart’s Migration and Skin Hunger. She has received the Midwestern Voices and Visions Award and the Elvira Cordero Cisneros Award. She is a member of Latino Writers Collective, Wordcraft Circle of Native American Writers and Storytellers, International Thriller Writers, and Sisters in Crime.

  Philip Stephens is the author of a novel, Miss Me When I’m Gone, and a collection of poems, The Determined Days, which was a finalist for the PEN Center USA Literary Award. He lives in Kansas City.

  Grace Suh is a writer and editor who lives in Kansas City. Her work has received awards from the Overbrook Foundation, the Edward F. Albee Foundation, the National Endowment for the Arts, the Djerassi Resident Artists Program, and the Ucross Foundation.

  Daniel Woodrell is the author of Winter’s Bone and seven other novels, most set in the Missouri Ozarks. His short story collection, The Outlaw Album, was published in 2011.

  About the Akashic Noir Series

  The Akashic Books Noir series was launched in 2004 with the award-winning anthology, Brooklyn Noir. Each book is comprised of all new stories, each taking place within a distinct location within the city of the book. Stories in the series have won multiple Edgar, Shamus, and Hammett awards and the volumes have been translated into 10 languages. Every book is available on our website, as eBooks from your favorite vendor, and in print at online and brick & mortar bookstores everywhere. For more information on the series, including an up-to-date list of available titles, please visit www.akashicbooks.com/noirseries.htm.

  ALSO AVAILABLE IN THE AKASHIC NOIR SERIES

  BALTIMORE NOIR, edited by LAURA LIPPMAN

  BARCELONA NOIR (SPAIN), edited by ADRIANA V. LÓPEZ & CARMEN OSPINA

  BOSTON NOIR, edited by DENNIS LEHANE

  BOSTON NOIR 2: THE CLASSICS, edited by DENNIS LEHANE, JAIME CLARKE & MARY COTTON

  BRONX NOIR, edited by S.J. ROZAN

  BROOKLYN NOIR, edited by TIM MCLOUGHLIN

  BROOKLYN NOIR 2: THE CLASSICS, edited by TIM MCLOUGHLIN

  BROOKLYN NOIR 3: NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, edited by TIM MCLOUGHLIN & THOMAS ADCOCK

  CAPE COD NOIR, edited by DAVID L. ULIN

  CHICAGO NOIR, edited by NEAL POLLACK

  COPENHAGEN NOIR (DENMARK), edited by BO TAO MICHAËLIS

  D.C. NOIR, edited by GEORGE PELECANOS

  D.C. NOIR 2: THE CLASSICS, edited by GEORGE PELECANOS

  DELHI NOIR (INDIA), edited by HIRSH SAWHNEY

  DETROIT NOIR, edited by E.J. OLSEN & JOHN C. HOCKING

  DUBLIN NOIR (IRELAND), edited by KEN BRUEN

  HAITI NOIR, edited by EDWIDGE DANTICAT

  HAVANA NOIR (CUBA), edited by ACHY OBEJAS

  INDIAN COUNTRY NOIR, edited by SARAH CORTEZ & LIZ MARTÍNEZ

  ISTANBUL NOIR (TURKEY), edited by MUSTAFA ZIYALAN & AMY SPANGLER

  KINGSTON NOIR (JAMAICA), edited by COLIN CHANNER

  LAS VEGAS NOIR, edited by JARRET KEENE & TODD JAMES PIERCE

  LONDON NOIR (ENGLAND), edited by CATHI UNSWORTH

  LONE STAR NOIR, edited by BOBY BYRD & JOHNNY BYRD

  LONG ISLAND NOIR, edited by KAYLIE JONES

  LOS ANGELES NOIR, edited by DENISE HAMILTON

  LOS ANGELES NOIR 2: THE CLASSICS, edited by DENISE HAMILTON

  MANHATTAN NOIR, edited by LAWRENCE BLOCK

  MANHATTAN NOIR 2: THE CLASSICS, edited by LAWRENCE BLOCK

  MEXICO CITY NOIR (MEXICO), edited by PACO I. TAIBO II

  MIAMI NOIR, edited by LES STANDIFORD

  MOSCOW NOIR (RUSSIA), edited by NATALIA SMIRNOVA & JULIA GOUMEN

  MUMBAI NOIR (INDIA), edited by ALTAF TYREWALA

  NEW JERSEY NOIR, edited by JOYCE CAROL OATES

  NEW ORLEANS NOIR, edited by JULIE SMITH

  ORANGE COUNTY NOIR, edited by GARY PHILLIPS

  PARIS NOIR (FRANCE), edited by AURéLIEN MASSON

  PHILADELPHIA NOIR, edited by CARLIN ROMANO

  PHOENIX NOIR, edited by PATRICK MILLIKIN

  PITTSBURGH NOIR, edited by KATHLEEN GEORGE

  PORTLAND NOIR, edited by KEVIN SAMPSELL

  QUEENS NOIR, edited by ROBERT KNIGHTLY

  RICHMOND NOIR, edited by ANDREW BLOSSOM, BRIAN CASTLEBERRY & TOM DE HAVEN

  ROME NOIR (ITALY), edited by CHIARA STANGALINO & MAXIM JAKUBOWSKI

  SAN DIEGO NOIR, edited by MARYELIZABETH HART

  SAN FRANCISCO NOIR, edited by PETER MARAVELIS

  SAN FRANCISCO NOIR 2: THE CLASSICS, edited by PETER MARAVELIS

  SEATTLE NOIR, edited by CURT COLBERT

 
STATEN ISLAND NOIR, edited by PATRICIA SMITH

  ST. PETERSBURG NOIR, edited by NATALIA SMIRNOVA & JULIA GOUMEN

  TORONTO NOIR (CANADA), edited by JANINE ARMIN & NATHANIEL G. MORE

  TRINIDAD NOIR (TRINIDAD & TOBAGO), edited by LISA ALEN-AGOSTINI & JEANNE MASON

  TWIN CITIES NOIR, edited by JULIE SCHAPER & STEVEN HORWITZ

  VENICE NOIR (ITALY), edited by MAXIM JAKUBOWSKI

  WALL STREET NOIR, edited by PETER SPIEGELMAN

  FORTHCOMING

  BOGOTÁ NOIR (COLOMBIA), edited by ANDREA MONTEJO

  BUFFALO NOIR, edited by BRIGID HUGHES & ED PARK

  DALLAS NOIR, edited by DAVID HALE SMITH

  HELSINKI NOIR, (FINLAND) edited by JAMES THOMPSON

  JERUSALEM NOIR, edited by SAYED KASHUA

  LAGOS NOIR (NIGERIA), edited by CHRIS ABANI

  MANILA NOIR (PHILIPPINES), edited by JESSICA HAGEDORN

  PRISON NOIR, edited by JOYCE CAROL OATES

  SEOUL NOIR (KOREA), edited by BS PUBLISHING CO.

  TEL AVIV NOIR (ISRAEL), edited by ETGAR KERET

  Bonus Materials

  Akashic Books continued our award-winning series of original noir anthologies in 2006 with Twin Cities Noir. As the ensuing bonus story will demonstrate, Twin Cities Noir reveals the unseemly underside of Minneapolis/St. Paul like never before.

  “St. Paul was originally called Pig’s Eye’s Landing and was named after Pig’s Eye Parrant—trapper, moonshiner, and proprietor of the most popular drinking establishment on the Mississippi. When Minnesota became a territory in 1849, the town leaders, realizing that a place called Pig’s Eye might not inspire civic confidence, changed the name to St. Paul, after the largest church in the city … Across the river, Minneapolis has its own sordid story. By the turn of the twentieth century it was considered one of the most crooked cities in the nation. As recently as the mid-‘90s, Minneapolis was called “Murderopolis” due to a rash of killings that occurred over a long hot summer. Every city has its share of crime, but what makes the Twin Cities unique may be that we have more than our share of good writers to chronicle it. They are homegrown and they know their territory … “

  From the Introduction, by Julie Schaper & Steven Horwitz

  Twin Cities Noir features brand-new stories by David Housewright, Steve Thayer, Judith Guest, Mary Logue, Bruce Rubenstein, K.J. Erickson, William Kent Krueger, Ellen Hart, Brad Zeller, Mary Sharratt, Pete Hautman, Larry Millett, Quinton Skinner, Gary Bush, and Chris Everheart. In the summer of 2013, we’re releasing a reissue of the paperback with brand-new stories by John Jodzio, Tom Kaczynski (a.k.a. Tom K), and Sujata Massey. We’re pleased to present Pete Hautman’s story “The Guy” in its entirety in the following pages.

  Twin Cities Noir, edited by Julie Schaper and Steve Horwitz, is available in print and digital form on our website, online, and at your favorie brick & mortar bookstore. For more information, visit www.akashicbooks.com/twincitiesnoir.htm.

  Twin Cities Noir

  The following is our featured story from Twin Cities Noir, presented here with the author’s permission.

  ___________________

  THE GUY

  BY PETE HAUTMAN

  Troost Lake

  Jane Day-Wellington said, “This thing is leaking.”

  “What thing?”

  “This drain thingie.” She pointed. “There’s water under the sink.”

  Courtney Wellington fitted his Canterbury Park ball cap onto his head and shrugged. “So call the guy.”

  “What guy?”

  “The drain guy.”

  Jane got down on her knees and looked carefully at the dripping pipe. “You can’t fix it?”

  “Do I look like the drain guy?” He did not look like the drain guy. He looked like a genetically dilute, down-on-his-luck aristocrat in a baseball cap.

  Jane said, “It’s just a little leak. If I call a plumber it’ll cost us a hundred bucks.”

  “Old plumbing like that, it’ll probably cost more.”

  “All the more reason to fix it ourselves … Where are you going?”

  Courtney rolled his eyes and pointed at his lucky cap.

  “You’re going to play poker? Again? I was hoping you could help me with the yard work.”

  “Too hot. Besides, they’re having a drawing for a bass boat in the card room. I’ve filled out about forty tickets for the thing, and you have to be present to win.” He lifted his car keys from a set of hooks by the back door.

  “What would you do with a bass boat?”

  “Go fishing.”

  “Right. What about this leak?”

  “I told you. Call the guy.” And he was out the door.

  * * *

  “You fixin’ this yourself, darlin’?” The man in the orange apron hitched up his jeans and waddled toward the back of the plumbing aisle.

  Jane followed. “That’s right. It’s a U-shaped pipe.” They reached a bin filled with PVC sink traps. “Like that.”

  The hardware guy held up one of the traps. “Where’s it leakin’?”

  “I think where it joins.” She touched the open end of the plastic pipe. “Here.”

  The hardware guy—the name tag pinned to his apron read: Doogie—nodded seriously. “Well now, I would say that you have a partially clogged trap and a joint that’s not quite sealed.” He waited for a look of dread to appear on Jane’s face, then smiled and said, “You should be able to fix it in a jiffy. Won’t even need any tools.”

  * * *

  Courtney Wellington returned to his Linden Hills bungalow from the card room at Canterbury Park shortly after 11. He had not won the bass boat. Just as well—where would he put the thing? He poured himself a scotch, then turned to the sink only to find a bucket over the faucet handle. Courtney frowned at the bucket, gave it a moment’s thought, then removed it and turned on the water. He let it run for a few seconds to cool it, added a splash of water to his scotch, then looked down to see what was going on with his feet. Water was pouring from the cabinet beneath the sink. Courtney shut off the flow and marched directly to the bedroom where Jane was sitting up with a book, her reading glasses resting midway down her nose.

  “What the hell happened to the sink?”

  She looked up with a half-smile. “I’m fixing it.”

  “Fixing? My shoes are soaked.”

  “Didn’t you see the bucket?”

  “What am I supposed to think? There’s a bucket over the sink. What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I told you the drain was leaking.”

  “And I told you to call the guy.”

  Jane returned her attention to her book. Courtney slowly undressed, leaving his clothing in a pile on the floor. He donned his blue silk pajamas and got into bed with his wife and his glass of diluted scotch.

  “Did you win your boat?”

  “No.”

  “Did you win anything?”

  “Yes. I won $37.”

  “That’s why I’m fixing the sink myself.”

  Courtney frowned, struggling to make the connection. “Why?”

  “Because we can’t afford to call the plumber.”

  “You make good money.”

  “I bring home $370 a week. That’s hardly enough for food and shelter.”

  “We have my trust fund.”

  Jane laughed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “The great Wellington trust fund. What is that? Another $200 a month?”

  “$246.”

  “Yee-ha.”

  “Plus my poker winnings.”

  “If they’re even real.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Jane sighed. “Nothing.” She did not actually doubt that Courtney won at cards. She had once gone to Canterbury to watch him play, just to make sure that was what he was actually doing. The image had stayed with her: Courtney in his lucky cap and sunglasses, wearing headphones attached to his iPod, sitting slumped at the hold’em table, $3 and $6 limit, folding ha
nd after hand, waiting for the next “sucker” or “steamer” or “calling station”—he had a different name for every variety of loser—to join the game. Some days he won a couple hundred dollars, most days less than fifty. Sometimes he lost. As near as Jane could calculate—assuming that what he told her was true—Courtney was earning about $5 an hour playing poker. Less than she made at Cub Foods.

  * * *

  “Ya see, ya can’t go metal to PVC without using an adapter,” said Doogie. As if she should have known.

  “I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me that last time I was here. This is my fourth trip back. First you sell me a pipe, then I find out I need a wrench, then I need another kind of wrench, and now this.”

  “Lady, I can’t read your mind. How am I suppose to know you got metal pipes?”

  Jane bit back her response. She said, “Do you have one of those … adapta things?”

  “Adapter? Sure I do.” He produced a white plastic ring from one of the wire bins. “Eighty-nine centavos, señorita. Only I think you ought to just go with a metal trap.”

  “But you already sold me the other one.”

  “Bring it back.”

  “But I don’t want to come back.”

  “Then use the adapter.”

  Jane frowned at the device in the hardware man’s hand. “And that’s all I need? I put it on and my sink will no longer leak?”

 

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