by Meg Cabot
"G!" Sleepy strolled up to us. "There you are. You doing lunch now?"
Gina's lips were pressed together in annoyance with me, but Sleepy did not appear to notice this. Neither did Dopey, who showed up a second later.
"Hey," he said breathlessly. "What are you guys just standing here for? Let's go eat."
Then he noticed me and sneered. "Suze, where's your shadow?"
I said with a sniff, "Michael will be unable to join us for lunch today, having been unavoidably detained."
"Yeah," Dopey said, and then he made a rude remark pertaining to Michael's having been detained by an inability to get certain parts of his body back into his pants. This was apparently an allusion to Michael's lack of coordination and not an intimation that he was more endowed than the average sixteen-year-old male.
I chose to ignore this remark, as did Gina, though I think this was because she hadn't even heard it.
"I sure hope you know what you're doing," was all she said, and it was clear she was not speaking to either of my stepbrothers, which puzzled them enormously. Why would any girl bother speaking to me when she could be speaking to them ?
"G," I said with some surprise. "What do you take me for? An amateur?"
"No," Gina said. "A fool."
I laughed. I really did think she was just being funny. It wasn't until much later that I realized there wasn't anything amusing about it at all.
Because it turned out Gina was one hundred percent right.
CHAPTER 15
Here's the thing about killers. If you know one, I'm sure you'll agree with me:
They can't help bragging about what they've done.
Seriously. They are totally vain. And that, generally, is their undoing.
Look at it from their point of view: I mean, here they are, and they've gotten away with this terrific crime. You know, something totally ingenious that no one would ever think to pin on them.
And they can't tell anybody. They can't tell a soul.
That's what gets them almost every time. Not telling anyone - not letting anyone in on their brilliant secret - well, that just about kills them.
Don't get me wrong. They don't want to get caught. They just want somebody to appreciate the brilliance of this thing they've done. Yes, it was a heinous - sometimes even unthinkable - crime. But look. Look. They did it without getting caught. They fooled the police. They fooled everybody. They have to tell somebody. They have to. Otherwise, what's the point?
This is just a personal observation, of course. I have met quite a few killers in my line of work, and this is the one thing they all seem to have in common. Only the ones who kept their mouths shut were the ones who managed to keep from getting caught. Everybody else? Slammer city.
So it seemed to me that Michael - who already believed that I was in love with him - just might decide to brag to me about what he'd done. He'd already started to, a little, when he'd told me how Josh and people like him were just a "waste of space." It seemed likely that, with a little prompting, I could get him to elaborate … maybe to the tune of a confession that I could then turn around and give to the police.
What's that you're saying? Guilty? Won't I feel guilty for snitching on this guy who had, after all, only been trying to get back at the kids who'd let his sister hurt herself so badly?
Yeah. Right. Listen, I don't do guilt. In my book, there are two kinds of people. Good ones and bad ones. As far as I was concerned, in this particular case, there wasn't a single good person to be found. Everybody had done something reprehensible, from Lila Meducci crashing that party and getting herself trashed in the process, to the RLS Angels for throwing the drunken free-for-all in the first place. Maybe some of them had committed crimes a little more heinous than the others - Michael's killing four people comes to mind - but frankly, in my mind … they all sucked.
So, in answer to your question, no, I didn't feel guilty about what I was about to do. The way I saw it, the sooner Michael got what was coming to him, the sooner I could get back to what was really important in life: lying on the beach with my best friend, soaking up some rays.
It was as I was in the girls' room just after last period let out, applying eyeliner in the mirror above the sinks - I have found that wringing confessions from potential murderers is easier when I am looking my best - that I got my first indication that the afternoon was not going to go exactly as I'd planned.
The door opened and Kelly Prescott walked in, followed by her shadow, Debbie Mancuso. They were not, apparently, there either to relieve or coif themselves, since all they did was stand there and stare at me in a hostile manner.
I looked at their reflections in the mirror and went, "If this is about funding for a class trip to the wine country, you can forget it. I already spoke to Mr. Walden about it, and he said it was the most ludicrous thing he'd ever heard of. Six Flags Great Adventure, maybe, but not the Napa Valley. Wineries do card, you know."
Kelly's upper lip curled. "This isn't about that," she said in a disgusted tone of voice.
"Yeah," Debbie said. "This is about your friend."
"My friend?" I had extracted a hairbrush from my backpack, and now I ran it through my hair, feigning unconcern. And I wasn't concerned. Not really. I could handle anything Kelly Prescott and Debbie Mancuso dished out. Only I didn't exactly feel like dealing with this, on top of everything else that had happened lately. "You mean Michael Meducci?"
Kelly rolled her eyes. "As if. Why you would ever want to be seen with that, I cannot imagine. But we happen to be talking about this Gina person."
"Yeah," Debbie said, her eyes narrowed to angry little slits.
Gina? Oh, Gina. Gina, who had stolen both Kelly's and Debbie's inamoratos. Suddenly all became clear.
"When is she going back to New York?" Kelly demanded.
"Yeah," Debbie said. "And where is she sleeping? Your room, right?"
Kelly elbowed her, and Debbie went, "Well, don't act like you don't want to know, Kel."
Kelly shot her friend an annoyed look, and then asked me, "There hasn't been any … well, bed-hopping, has there?"
Bed-hopping?
"Not to my knowledge," I said. I thought about messing with them, but the thing was, I really did feel for them. I know if some superhot femme fatale ghost had come along and stolen Jesse from me, I'd have been plenty peeved. Not that Jesse had ever even been mine to begin with.
"No bed-hopping," I said. "Footsie under the dinner table, maybe, but no bed-hopping that I know of."
Debbie and Kelly exchanged glances. I could see they were relieved.
"And she's leaving when?" Kelly asked.
When I said "Sunday," both girls let out a little sigh. Debbie went, "Good."
Now that she knew she wouldn't have to put up with her much longer, Kelly was willing to be gracious about Gina. "It isn't that we don't like her," she said.
"Yeah," Debbie said. "It's just that she's … you know."
"I know," I said in what I hoped was a comforting manner.
"It's just because she's new," Kelly said. Now she was getting defensive. "That's the only reason they like her. Because she's different."
"Sure," I said, putting my hairbrush back.
"I mean, so she's from New York?" Kelly was really warming to her subject. "Big deal. I mean, I've been to New York. It wasn't so great. It was really dirty, and there were these disgusting pigeons and bums everywhere."
"Yeah," Debbie said. "And you know what I heard? In New York, they don't even have fish tacos."
I almost felt sorry for Debbie then.
"Well," I said, shouldering my backpack. "It's been a pleasure. But now I gotta go, ladies."
I left them there, dipping their pinkies into little pots of lip gloss and then leaning into the mirror to apply it.
Michael was waiting for me exactly where he'd said he would be. You could tell the eyeliner was doing its job, since he got very flustered and went, "Hi, uh, do you, uh, want me to take your backpack?"
"My car's over there," Michael said, pointing at an emerald green sedan. "Well, not my car, really. But the one the rental agency loaned me. It's not a bad little number, actually. Has some punch to it."
I smiled at him, and he tripped over a loose piece of concrete. He would have fallen flat on his face if he hadn't saved himself at the last minute. My lipstick, I could see, was performing as well as the eyeliner.
"Let me just, uh, find the keys," Michael said as he fumbled around in his pockets.
I told him to take his time. Then I pulled out my DKs and turned my face toward the sun, leaning against the hood of his rental car. How, I wondered, to best bring it up? Maybe I should suggest we stop by the hospital to see his little sister? No, I wanted to get to his house as soon as possible so I could start reading his email. Would I even know how to access his email? Probably not. But I could call Cee Cee. She'd know. Could you talk on the phone and access someone's email at the same time? Oh, God, why wouldn't my mom let me get a cell phone? I was practically the only sophomore without one - Dopey excepted, of course.
It was while I was wondering about this that a shadow fell over my face, and suddenly I could no longer feel the warmth of the sun. I opened my eyes, and found myself staring up at Sleepy.
"What," he demanded in the same somnambulistic manner in which he did everything, "do you think you're doing?"
I could feel my cheeks getting red. And it wasn't because of the sun, either.
"Getting a ride home with Michael," I said meekly. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Michael, over on the driver's side of the car, had finally found the keys, and had frozen with them in his hand, the driver side door open.
"No, you're not," Sleepy said.
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe he was doing this to me. I was so embarrassed, I thought I was going to die.
"Slee - " I started to say, then stopped myself just in time. "Jake," I said, under my breath. "Cut it out."
"No," Jake said. "You cut it out. You remember what Mom said."
Mom. He'd called my mother Mom. What was going on here?
I lowered my sunglasses and looked past Jake. Gina, along with Dopey and Doc, stood on the far side of the parking lot, leaning against the side of the Rambler and staring in my direction.
Gina. She'd told on me. She'd told on me to Sleepy. I couldn't believe it.
"Slee - I mean, Jake," I said. "I appreciate your concern. I really do. But I can take care of myself - "
"No." And to my surprise, he wrapped a hand around my arm, and started to pull. He was surprisingly strong, for someone who gave the impression of being so tired all the time. "You're coming home with us. Sorry, man." This last he said to Michael. "She's supposed to ride home with me today."
Michael, however, did not appear to find this apology a satisfactory one. He put down both our backpacks, and, slipping his car keys back into his trouser pocket, took a step toward Sleepy.
"I don't think," Michael said in a hard voice I'd never heard him use before, "the lady wants to go with you."
The lady? What lady? Then I realized with a start that Michael meant me. I was the lady!
"I don't care what she wants," Sleepy said. His voice wasn't hard at all. It was simply very matter-of-fact. "She's not getting into a car with you, and that's the end of it."
"I don't think so." Michael took another step toward Sleepy, and that's when I saw that both of his hands were curled into fists.
Fists! Michael was going to fight Sleepy! Over me!
This was very exciting. I'd never had two boys get into a fight over me before. The fact that one of the boys was my stepbrother, however, and held about as much romantic appeal for me as Max, the family dog, somewhat dampened my enthusiasm.
And Michael wasn't much of a catch, either, when you actually thought about it, being a potential murderer, and all.
Oh, why did I have to have such a couple of losers fighting over me? Why couldn't Matt Damon and Ben Affleck fight over me? Now that would be truly excellent.
"Look, buddy," Sleepy said, noticing Michael's fists. "You don't want to mess with me, okay? I'm just going to take my sister here" - he dragged me off the hood of the car - "and go. Got that?"
Sister? Stepsister! Stepsister! God, why can't anyone keep it straight?
"Suze," Michael said. He hadn't taken his eyes off Sleepy. "Just get in the car, okay?"
Well, this, I decided, had gone on long enough. Not only was I completely embarrassed, but I was getting hot, too. That afternoon sun was no joke. Suddenly, I just didn't have any ghost-busting energy left in me.
Plus I guess I didn't want to see anybody get hurt over something so completely lame.
"Look," I said to Michael. "I better go with him. Some other time, okay?"
Michael finally looked away from Sleepy. His gaze, when it landed on me, was odd. It was like he wasn't even really seeing me.
"Fine," he said.
Then he got into his car without another word, and started the engine.
God, I thought. Be a baby about it, why don't you?
"I'll call you when I get home," I shouted to Michael, though I doubt he heard me through the rolled up windows. It would be difficult, I realized, to wring a confession out of him over the phone, but not, I thought, impossible.
Michael's tires squealed on the hot asphalt as he drove away.
"What a freakin' jerk," Sleepy muttered as he dragged me across the parking lot. Only he didn't say freakin'. Or jerk. "And you want to go out with this guy?"
I said sullenly, "We're just friends."
"Yeah," Sleepy said. "Right."
"You," Dopey said to me as Sleepy and I approached the Rambler, "are so busted."
This was one of his favorite things to say to me. He said it, as a matter of fact, whenever he had the slightest chance.
"Not technically, Brad," Doc said thoughtfully. "You see, she didn't actually get into the car with him. And that was what she was forbidden to do. Get into a car with Michael Meducci."
"Shut up, all of you," Sleepy said, heading for the driver's seat. "And get in."
Gina, I noticed, slipped automatically into the front passenger seat. Apparently, she didn't believe that when Sleepy had told us all to shut up, he meant her, too, since she went, "How about we stop somewhere for ice cream on the way home?"
She was trying, I knew, to get me not to be mad at her. As if a chocolate-dipped twist would help. Actually, it sort of would, now that I thought about it.
"Sounds good to me," Sleepy said.
Dopey, on my right - as usual, I'd ended up sitting on the hump in the middle of the backseat - muttered, "I don't know what you see in that headcase Meducci anyway."
Doc said, "Oh, that's easy. Females of any species tend to select the male partner who is best able to provide for her and any offspring which might result from their coupling. Michael Meducci, being a good deal more intelligent than most of his classmates, amply fulfills that role, in addition to which he has what is considered, by Western standards of beauty, an outstanding physique - if what I've overheard Gina and Suze saying counts for anything. Since he is likely to pass on these favorable genetic components to his children, he is irresistible to breeding females everywhere - at least, discerning ones like Suze."
There was silence in the car … the kind of silence that usually followed one of Doc's speeches.
Then Gina said reverently, "They really should move you up a grade, David."
"Oh, they've offered," Doc replied, cheerfully, "but while my intellect
might be evolved for a boy my age, my growth is somewhat retarded. I felt it was inadvisable to thrust myself into a population of males much larger than I, who might be threatened by my superior intelligence."
"In other words," Sleepy translated for Gina's benefit, "we didn't want him getting his butt kicked by the bigger kids."
Then he started the car, and we roared out of the parking lot at the usual high rate of speed that Sleepy, in spite of my private nickname for him, chooses to employ.
I was trying to figure out how I could make it clear that it wasn't so much that I wanted to breed with Michael Meducci, as get him to confess to having killed the RLS Angels, when Gina went, "God, Jake, drive much?"
Which was sort of amusing since Gina, whose parents very wisely won't let her near their car, has never driven before in her life. But then I looked up and saw what she meant. We were approaching the front gates to the school, which were set at the base of a sloping hill that opened out into a busy intersection, at a higher rate of speed than was usual, even for Sleepy.
"Yeah, Jake," Dopey said from beside me on the backseat. "Slow down, you maniac."
I knew Dopey was only trying to make himself look good in front of Gina, but he did have a point: Sleepy was going way too fast.
"It's not a race," I said, and Doc started to say something about how Jake's endorphins had probably kicked in, due to his fight with me and his near-fight with Michael, and that that would account for his sudden case of lead foot....
At least until Jake said, in tones that weren't in the least drowsy, "I can't slow down. The brakes … the brakes aren't working."
This sounded interesting. I leaned forward. I guess I thought Jake was trying to scare us.
Then I saw the speed with which we were approaching the intersection in front of the school. This was no joke. We were about to plunge into four lanes of heavy traffic.
"Get out!" Jake yelled at us.
At first I didn't know what he meant. Then I saw Gina struggling to undo her seatbelt, and I knew.