For the first half hour, we’d simply been instructed to close our eyes and keep still. To maintain an “air of calm” and to focus on a moment of peace and tranquility. That was easy enough.
But then everything changed.
The master sent pouring hail and rain one second, startling birds out of their trees so that angry screeches filled the air the next.
I tried not to flinch when an assistant trailed a blade across my shoulders through the cloth.
I couldn’t suppress a tiny whimper when the serrated edge caught on my tender palm, reopening my blisters from the past.
I looked up in time to see the mages casting knives.
“Concentrate!” An assistant tossed two stones by my feet. “Pain shouldn’t detract from your focus, first-year!”
I wasn’t the only one who’d failed. Most of the others had a small pile forming next to them too. Most, but not all.
Darren’s eyes were still shut, and he was bleeding from both wrists.
For the second part of our exercise, Master Cedric had us keep our eyes open while continuing to practice the same meditative state. Of course, sight only made it worse.
It wasn’t easy to remain calm when the assistants were running around throwing daggers and casting arrows inches away from your face.
All of us were afraid one of the mages would slip up and we’d end up skewered or worse.
I wanted to do well, I really did, but meditation was turning out to be the most difficult test.
My head pounded, my muscles ached, and sweat stung the corners of my eyes. I was trying hard not to give in to the distractions Master Cedric and his assistants were casting, but pain was not an easy distraction to ignore. I knew the masters had healers and alchemy salves on hand to see to our wounds, but it didn’t take away from the moment.
Eventually the session ended, and we all looked to one another, greedily eying the others’ failures. No one was stoneless, not even the prince. The pale blonde girl only had two—turns out she was the best—and Darren and his cohorts had no more than five a piece.
I had twelve. Alex had even more. Ella, ten.
Not the best, and not the worst. It was maddening.
Everyone waited to be dismissed.
“How many of you have changed your minds about the uselessness of meditation now?” the master rasped.
Several of us cast our eyes down, shamefaced.
“Too often we allow sight and pain to dictate our actions. That's fine in day-to-day living, but it will not get you very far in casting. Magic commands your absolute focus. Anything less and you risk a spell going awry. Pain will come and go, and you need to learn to push past it. If you are overwhelmed, you won’t be able to do what needs to be done.”
I saw myself on a battlefield, unable to cast to save a soldier because of a stray arrow crushing my lungs. Master Cedric was right. I needed to be better, but I didn’t know how. Everything about this catered to the ones who already knew what to do, the masters didn’t wait for the rest of us to catch up.
“Master your focus early on because pain doesn’t go away.” The master folded his arms. “The Academy is not meant for everyone. Best accept that now than a wasted year in denial.”
I TRAILED off to the dining hall with the others, bitterly acknowledging the reason so many resigned early on.
Most highborns hadn’t been below the top quarter of our class for any of the lessons. I shouldn't have expected anything less, but that didn’t take away from my grief. Alex and I had an uphill battle, which was only growing worse. Only a third of the first-years in attendance were lowborn as it was.
The prince and his friends were the best. They all wanted Combat; we’d all heard them say it in our sessions. That was five apprenticeships right there.
If I knew what was good for me, I’d just pack my bags and leave the Academy right away. But I couldn’t. I hadn’t backed down from the village boys in fights back home, and I wasn’t about to start now.
The prince's contemptuous comments earlier on had made it clear that he would only associate with the best. I studied the front to see who that was.
There were seven more at his table than before. Four of the newcomers were not of noble standing from their dress before our drills. But all of those newcomers had done well, extremely well, in comparison to the rest of our year.
Apparently, the non-heir would make exceptions to be around “commoners.” But I, like most of the lowborn first-years present, was not promising enough to be worthy of his time.
Glancing around the commons, I saw more evidence of the changes in place. During the morning meal, students had sat next to friends or others of similar rank. Now more emphasis was spent on sitting with those who performed at one's own level during training.
At the far end of the hall, where I’d previously sat, were the rejects of our year.
I ground my teeth as I fixated back on Darren’s table at the front. My frustration wasn’t so much the prince—he was hardly the first highborn to look down at a lowborn—it was everything he represented that I wasn’t.
I sat down at the first available seat, which just so happened to be the far end of the table of failures. I wasn’t going to waste half my meal negotiating a spot based on skill.
Alex and Ella plopped down beside me without another word. Something warmed my chest, and I gave them a timid smile. It would have been difficult if they’d decided to move onto someone better.
I spent the entire course of dinner listening to a lively exchange between the two, while I pushed gravy-soaked peas across my plate. Alex and Ella seemed to be the only ones who found our entire situation humorous. They weren’t exactly friends, but they’d grown closer in our sessions.
I was beyond grateful, even if I knew it was just for me. And while many of their jokes were at the expense of our own mishaps, it was nice to laugh them off.
Alex dunked a roll into his stew. “Did you see me during our drills with Sir Piers?”
“Some of us had more pressing concerns than your face.”
“Well, while you girls were trying to keep up with us men—”
Ella and I both interrupted my brother at the same time. “Hey!” We’d both done better than Alex. My brother might have brawn, but he was a healer through and through. He didn’t like to exert himself unless it was for a spell.
“As I was saying, I was trying to romance a lady while you two were too busy huffing and puffing around the track.”
“And how did that go?” I interjected. “Being the slowest boy in the class?”
“I wasn’t the slowest.” His grin got wider. “The second, perhaps.”
Only my brother would laugh over failing our drills. Just another testament to our different approaches to life.
“And which damsel in distress would she be?” Ella taunted. “I saw you entertain several before class even started.”
My brother chuckled. “That was harmless conversation, sweet. When I’m flirting, you’ll know.”
Ella rolled her eyes.
“It was that girl over there.” My brother pointed his crust at Priscilla, and I stifled a laugh as the girl caught the three of us staring. Her frown turned to disgust in the blink of an eye.
“Seems like a fan.”
“Sure it went well, lover boy?” Ella was smirking. “That looks more like disdain.”
Alex just gave a maddening smile. “She’s a tough nut to crack.”
“That’s Priscilla of Langli.” Ella’s brow rose in challenge. “You never stood a chance.”
“What about you?” He leaned in to tuck a curl behind her ear. “Do I stand a chance with you, Ella?”
I choked on my roast as my friend guffawed. I was not having my brother spoil the one friendship I had. I turned the conversation back to the earlier girl fast.
“What’s Priscilla’s relation to the prince? Are they betrothed?”
My brother sighed. “Probably. The prince was glaring the entire time I
engaged her on the field.”
“They’re not betrothed.” Ella followed our gaze. “But it’s only a matter of time.”
“Did she come here for him?”
“Most definitely.” Ella twisted the water glass in her palm. “Her parents are very well-known courtiers. Social climbers like the Langlis dedicate their lives to building close relations with the king. Priscilla is a very pretty girl, and her family is the wealthiest save the Crown.”
“So why not his older brother?” I was truly curious. Why would her family pick the second-born prince when their daughter could be crown princess?
“Prince Blayne needs to marry a Borean princess to strengthen our alliances. Darren doesn’t have his hands tied. Every power-hungry family with a daughter has been after that prince since the day he was born.”
I cringed. Those poor girls.
As I listened to Ella, I found myself watching Priscilla interact with the prince’s group. Ella could say the girl was after the prince, but Priscilla had still performed very strongly in all of our drills.
“I don't think she's just here for the prince,” I remarked, causing both Alex and Ella to start. “She’s too prepared. She might want the prince, but I think she came here for a robe.”
Ella just shook her head. “If Priscilla wasn't good, she wouldn't have a chance at the throne.”
“Why?”
“Because power is all that prince cares about.” Ella’s words were curt. Again, I wondered what had happened in her past. “Priscilla and her parents were smart enough to figure that out. I'm sure, as soon as they realized how serious he was, they got her the best tutor gold could buy.”
I looked back to the girl and her prince. Rumors were already flying around that they were first in line for an apprenticeship. I’d even shared the same thought.
Really, on day one, to already have that kind of reputation…
It isn't fair.
Alex noted my stare. “I heard some people have already decided to change their faction.”
“W-why?” I jerked back around.
“Some of the others were saying the odds were too stacked against them in Combat.”
Master Barclae's predictions were already coming true. It wasn’t even the end of our first day.
“They might say that now and change their minds later,” Ella countered. “Jeff changed his mind three times before the end of his first month.”
“I can see why.” And I could. The prince was a prodigy, whether I liked it or not. “The masters have seen hundreds of first-years. To impress them at this point means you really stand out.”
Ella folded her arms. “Well, future apprentice or not, no one is going to sway me but me.”
I knew it was mad and foolish and possibly hopeless, but I agreed.
AFTER DINNER, the three of us headed to the library's upper study to begin the day's assignments. Most of our class had gone off to the barracks to wash. A part of me wanted to as well, but all three of us had agreed we would fare better studying in silence than a crowded library when the rest returned. And then we’d have the baths to ourselves.
There were a couple other small groups already in the study, but they were few in number. When we entered, they seemed friendly enough. I recognized one girl, Winifred, as someone from a neighboring village. Another, Clayton, was Alex’s friend from Demsh’aa—we’d missed him in the crowds earlier.
Before long, we amassed a small group of our own: Alex, Ella, me, Winifred, Clayton, another lowborn boy named Jordan, a highborn girl named Ruth, and a timid first-year named James.
It was nice to study in the company of others. We all had something to offer. While Winifred spent most of her time lecturing us on the mathematical equations we were trying to break down, Alex and I helped with the sections on herb lore and science. Having parents who owned an apothecary was an advantage after all.
Jordan and Clayton assisted with geography. They’d grown up on family farms. Ruth was excellent at Crown law from her time in court, and Ella spent most of her energy on history and battles. As she explained, her father was a knight.
Apparently, Ella used to follow her father around the village as he drilled soldiers.
No wonder the girl wanted Combat. She was a warrior through and through. It also explained why she had fared better than most of us in Piers's conditioning. She’d only been second to Priscilla, Eve, and a couple of the boys.
By the time the rest of our year arrived, most of our assignments were finished. Alex and I were a bit slower than the rest, so we still had a couple problems left, but I figured we’d tackle those in the barracks before bed.
Bed…. It was a looming fantasy, almost as tempting as a hot bath to sooth my aching limbs.
I packed up my work, feeling a lot more confident than before. The only thing that detracted from my mood was the prince’s arrival as we left.
I tried not to grimace as his group took over the most comfortable lounge, forcing the others to the smaller aisles on the second floor. People didn’t even try to stand up to him; they just gave up their seats with a smile.
My friend’s expression mirrored my own. “Just like the palace. No one’s entitled like a prince.”
Alex glanced between the two of us and settled on my friend. “You really don't like him, do you, Ella?”
She set her mouth in a hard line. “No.”
“Care to tell us what happened?” he pressed. “Or are you just going to leave us to guess?”
I had to admit, I was curious too.
“There's nothing to tell.” Her eyes flashed, but she didn’t expand. That was the only answer we got.
Alex laughed nervously. “Just wanted to know what he did, so I don't repeat his same mistake.”
Ella smiled, and the tension in the hall left the air. “How about this?” She leaned in, standing on the tips of her toes to whisper in his ear. “I’ll punch you in the gut if you ask me again.”
She blew my brother a kiss and then sauntered off, leaving Alex flushed and speechless.
My twin had finally met his match.
Alex watched the girl walk away, his mouth agape.
“Don't even think about it,” I warned.
“I don't… she…” His face burned red, and he ducked his head, suddenly out of sorts. “I have t-to...”
Alex took off, thought unfinished, in the direction of the men’s barracks.
Clayton snickered. “I think Ella is going to give your brother a run for his reputation.”
“She doesn’t like boys her own age.” I was thinking of Master Barclae and Sir Piers. Ella had the right idea. Most of our year was incompetent. Or arrogant jerks.
“People say a lot of things. That doesn't mean they’re always true,” James piped up, a bit too eagerly. Alex wasn’t the only one who admired my new friend. I’d caught James openly staring more than once.
We all laughed at the truth of James’s statement and parted ways.
I didn’t stop to think the rule might also apply to me.
4
Apparently, I was the only one to not complete the first day's assignments… I’d collapsed into bed the second I’d finished my bath, and now I was paying the price.
Master Eloise glowered at me over my incomplete scroll. “This is unacceptable, first-year.”
My mouth was a gaping hole. How in the name of the gods did everyone finish? I’d caught several girls sleeping when I arrived back in the barracks the night before, which meant they hadn’t even entered the library to study. Had they copied someone else’s answers in the morning?
I suspected the answer was yes.
“You will spend two hours after dinner assisting Constable Barrius’s staff with the mucking of the stables.”
What?
“But I didn't have enough time to finish last night's work!” I was ashamed to admit there was a bit of pleading in my tone, but how was I supposed to finish today's assignment and clean the stables?
“I
f you can't meet the Academy's demands, then you are wasting our time.”
Behind me, several students snickered.
My face burned. “Just because I didn't cheat—”
Alex kicked my shin, and I paused to glare at my brother. His eyes narrowed and his expression was clear. I would only make it harder on myself if I called out the others. Do I really want to make enemies on my second day?
“My apologies,” I mumbled to Master Eloise. “It will not happen again.”
“See that it doesn't.”
I lowered myself into my seat, avoiding the gaze of the rest of the class. I tried not to panic over how I would complete the day’s work and my new chore.
After four hours sulking in the library and the shortest lunch imaginable, Alex, Ella, and I headed for what was sure to be the worst part of our day: two hours with Sir Piers.
Expectations did not disappoint.
After another five-mile run, Sir Piers had us practice again with the staffs. Somehow he expected us to have significantly improved over the course of a day.
Instead, our exhaustion just led to more mistakes than before.
When I got down the line to Alex, he and I spent our five-minute drill barely moving in order to catch a quick break. When it was Ella's turn, she spent the entire time trying to helpfully contribute tips I neither wanted to hear nor heed.
I can’t do this.
Sir Piers spent the whole exercise shouting. I was convinced someone had told him the louder he yelled, the harder we'd try. It didn't work.
Half the class was at the point of collapse by the time our second hour finished. It was all I could do to walk my staff back to the armory.
“Just where do you lot think you are going?” Piers barked.
The crowd of students froze, and I turned back to see Sir Piers and Master Cedric scowling at us.
“Gods, no,” Alex said in a hushed voice.
“We are not finished,” Sir Piers bellowed. “I need all of you to return with your staffs. Master Cedric has granted us extra time.”
My stomach fell. My knees were shaking, and my arms felt like lead weights.
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