And I never would’ve known.
Our match ended and Derrick sheathed his blade. My casting vanished. The two of us went to sit against a bench. “I’m so sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn’t you, Ryiah. It was me. Something I had to overcome for myself.” His gaze fell to mine and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “You wouldn’t happen to have the ring your foolish brother cast away like a dolt?”
I tugged the leather cord from underneath my shirt. The tarnished copper band hung from its center, the letter “R” glinting along its surface. “Does this mean I am your favorite again?” My grin was wide. “Because I will only give it back if I am.”
Derrick snickered. “Poor Alex never had a chance.”
THE NEXT MONTH passed by in a blur. My duties became more bearable after my talk with Derrick, and as much as I resented Mage Mira’s obvious distaste where I was concerned, I embraced my role to the fullest. One thing was for certain: the Council chambers would be the most well-guarded room in the palace.
And it was. Until the night I was doing a routine patrol down the hall and Darren appeared, leaning against the entry with a wicked smile in play.
“Hello, lady mage,” he said. “Perhaps you can tell me why this chamber was left unattended for an hour, putting our entire kingdom at risk?”
One eyebrow arched as I fixed the prince with an incredulous expression. “It’s been attended all night. I was the one guarding it.”
He peeled himself off the paneling with an even deeper grin. “I think you’re mistaken.”
“And I think you have lost your mind.”
“Then tell me why the inside is a mess.”
“A-a mess?” I faltered. Had I missed something? Someone snuck past me the moment my back was turned? Why was he still smiling like one of the palace cats who’d gotten into the cook’s cream? “Show me!”
He produced a key and swung open the door. I hurried past to check.
Not a thing was out of place: all the books still on their shelves, the giant maps of Jerar and its neighbors aligning the walls, the Council table and chairs, the great chests still with their locks, even the flourishing tapestries exactly as before. Not since my inspection an hour ago had one object moved in the slightest.
I turned an accusatory finger back at the prince. “You see, nothing has changed!”
“But it will.” Darren shut the door and locked it behind him, looking up at me from underneath long, sooty lashes. The side of his mouth was twitching to hold back a smirk.
Oh. I wanted to kick myself. Oh.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “that I’ve been so busy.”
I sucked in a sharp breath.
“I’ve been going mad,” he confessed. “Our wedding postponed. All the Council meetings. Only sharing meals. I…” He stopped as he drew up next to me at the center of the room. My back was pressed against the cold stone table, and there was nowhere else I could go, even if I wanted to, which I didn’t.
“I miss you even when you’re standing in front of me.” The words came out in a rush as he met my eyes. “All I’ve been able to think about is you. We are going to go to war, and I’m the Black Mage, and the whole time I’m supposed to be leading those meetings, I’m thinking about you.” His head dipped so that his lips were bare inches from my own. “I haven’t stopped, love.”
“I…” I could barely speak, my pulse was deafening. “I think about...”
“What do you think about?” His hands fell to either side of the table, pinning me in place. His eyes were like coals.
“You.” His whole body pressed against me, and it did odd things to my head. I was dizzy and too hot and too cold all at once. All I could think about were his legs brushing mine, his chest rising and falling with my own, his hands and my skin.
“And?”
I licked my lips, and his eyes followed the movement. A smile tugged at the corner of his own.
“Kiss me, Ryiah.”
I rose to my toes, and he cut the distance in half. Sparks flared in the shadows as his mouth found mine in an instant. I heard him choke back a groan, and it was all I could do not to gasp.
“What else do you think about?” His breath was hot in my ear. His fingers trailed down my ribs and I couldn’t think. I was too preoccupied with what he would do next.
“Do you think about this?” He bit down on my lower lip, and I couldn’t stifle a half-whimper, half-gasp.
His tongue tangled with mine, and my whole body was ablaze. Hot, searing chills everywhere. I was panting for air. The prince of Jerar kissed me, and I swore to the gods I was catching fire because of it.
Heat flared in the pit of my stomach as he whispered the words. “What do you want, Ryiah?”
What do I want?
His hands lifted me against the cold marble top, and my legs wrapped around his waist before I even realized what I was doing. Shock and desire coursed through my body.
“Darren,” I stammered.
“Ryiah.” He was staring down at me, and I fought to break the spell that had found its way inside my head. His hands were pressed flat against the table on either side and heat chased through my veins, filling the pit of my stomach. The entire room was a haze. I wanted to pull Darren down to me and close any semblance of space between us.
I didn’t want him wearing those clothes.
I swallowed. The thought should have stunned me, but now… now every part of me was dying for this.
I knew what he wanted.
I wanted it too.
“Ryiah.” Darren raised a hand to lift my chin and meet my eyes with his own. His gaze was a bottomless abyss. Dark garnet swallowed me whole. The color reminded me of a setting sun: the moment red faded into black and became something else, something that pulled and drove you to madness, so beautiful you kept staring because you could no longer see anything else.
“I love you,” he whispered.
I pulled Darren to me and kissed him. One long, slow kiss that told him everything I was too afraid to put into words. His eyes flared and Darren pressed into me in response, kissing me back in a breathless rush. His fingers slipped down, down to the hem of my shirt, and my breath hitched.
My pulse thundering as I tore off his vest, my grip sliding on tile as his mouth found my neck.
There was a scratching, an odd creak, and for a moment I thought it was my fingernails against the marble top—but they were still in his hair, pulling as hot lips pressed into my skin, searing me alive.
Then something creaked again and I heard the soft squeak of a hinge.
I jerked back, my head banging against the table while Darren threw himself around, blocking me from the intruder, one hand casting a bright sheen of light against the chamber door.
“Derrick?” Darren’s wheeze was echoed in my own. I struggled to right myself and adjust my top that had fallen low to one shoulder, snarled in my hair.
“Your Highness… Ry? I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” My brother’s neck flushed pink as he stammered on. “I… I came to find my sister, a-and I saw the hallway was empty. I was worried and thought to check…” Derrick’s voice trailed off as his eyes darted from one side of the dark chamber to the other, clearly getting an idea for why that was.
“Thanks for checking.” The prince’s gaze assessed my brother with a slight frown. “Wasn’t that door locked?”
Something pricked at the back of my spine.
“It c-couldn’t have been.” My brother stammered. “How else would I have gotten in?” He ducked his head as he added. “There must have been a catch. It swung open, a-and then I realized…”
Darren looked away, embarrassed like my brother. The moment couldn’t have been more awkward if we tried.
Derrick exhaled. “I… I’ll let the two of you alone.”
“Derrick,” I called, “why were you looking for me?”
His head shot up, but he didn’t meet my eyes. “I-I guess I don’t remember.”<
br />
The door shut, and then it was just Darren and me. Only this time there were shadows creeping around my thoughts. Unease and fear pounded at my chest as I pulled myself up off the table.
Darren caught my arm. “You are leaving?” He sounded so confused.
A part of me wanted to stay, to forget everything and recapture that moment, but… “Can you find me a replacement tonight?”
“Of course.” He swallowed. “I’m sorry... I never meant to make you—”
“It wasn’t that!” I blushed furiously, grateful for the dark. “I-I just…” Gods help me. “I haven’t taken any of the potions to… help keep away a child. I… I wouldn’t want to until a-after the war.”
“Oh.” The back of his neck was as red as my face. “I… I, uh, can ask one of the healers to… if you want?”
I was ready to melt into a puddle of embarrassment, but there was another part of me that begged not to brush his offer aside. She wouldn’t let me run off in a childish fit; she wanted this. “I-I do.” I squeaked the reply, and then ran from the room.
Darren didn’t need to know the real reason I fled was Derrick—to find my brother before he had time to recover, so I could corner him and force him to explain.
Only two guards—me and a mage named Ike—had a key to the room. Ike took his role as seriously as Paige took hers. I’d never seen him so much as yawn on duty once. The only others were the current Council of Magic and the Crown. Derrick was neither.
“YOU STOLE IT FROM ME, didn’t you? That day in practice.” I didn’t wait for a reply as I shoved my brother against the stable walls, hissing. “That time I thought I lost it, but I didn’t, did I? The next day when you told me you’d found it? You’d stolen it and made a copy!”
“I—” His chest rose and fell as he panted for breath. His arms were twice as wide as mine, his frame easily two heads above my own, but just now he looked small, so much smaller than me.
“Why did you need it?” I rammed his shoulders, my fingers bruising upon impact. “Why? Why did you need it, Derrick?” No one else was around. The building was eerily quiet except for the soft crunch of hay and the shifting of hooves.
Everyone else was at dinner. Or abed. Or on duty. The closest guards were a quarter mile away at the palace gates and a few others were at the barracks. It was Derrick’s shift at the stables.
Or it was supposed to be, except he’d been attempting to break into the Council chambers under the guise of visiting me.
My brother stopped panting and looked me straight in the eyes. “You know why,” he said softly.
“No! No, I don’t!” My fist hit the panel by his neck. A trickle of blood dribbled down from my knuckles to the floor.
“You do.” Derrick didn’t falter under my gaze.
“No, I…” I did. My legs gave out from under me, and I caught the wall just before I fell. “Oh gods, oh gods, oh…” I slid down until I was sitting in the hay, my knees pulled up to my chest. The words spilled over my tongue like a disease. “You’re a rebel.”
Derrick sat down next to me and said nothing.
“You… you d-didn’t come back for me.” My breath came out hard and fast, and I was seconds away from heaving. “You c-came here for them.”
My whole world rose up to meet me. Hot flashes and my skin became clammy and warm. I dropped to my hands, vomiting into the musty straw, giant swells of dust and dirt clogging my throat.
Derrick held my hair back and waited for me to stop coughing, handing me his water skin. I washed my mouth out and spat. Then he spoke.
“They aren’t what you think.”
“Cold-blooded murderers?” I choked the words out like fire. “They tried to kill me, Derrick, during my first year of the apprenticeship in Mahj! They tried to kill Darren. They killed Caine. They killed others. They attack our cities. They…” My voice cracked. “They killed Wren.”
“They were after the salt mines, not you or Darren.” His tone was sharp. “If the apprentices hadn’t tried to play the people’s hero, their leader never would’ve attacked. The rebels care about weakening Jerar’s coffers through its exports, not killing off its youth. Finding out a prince of Jerar was present though…” He paused. “Well, they thought they might kill two birds with one stone. The Crown is our enemy, Ryiah.” He exhaled. “You’re just too blind to see it.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I felt sick, gutted, like it was all a cruel test of will. Turn my little brother against me. Make him the enemy.
It was the worst kind of test, and one I would fail. I couldn’t make a move to arrest him.
“They tried to recruit both of us in Ferren’s Keep, Ry.” No rebel attacks in the north… I had always wondered why. “When Nyx offered you the position after your apprenticeship, it was because she knew you’d be powerful. She sent for Ian the moment you accepted. His parents are rebels.” No. “So is he. He’d been gathering information at Langli, helping her keep track of shipments, but then she asked him to watch you instead. To test you. After your engagement to the prince…” Ian had come there for me. Darren had been right all along, just not for the reason he thought. “She knew they’d have to be careful, so she called on Ian… And then when you continued to mope, she decided to recruit me. She brought on Jacob since his father was already one of them.”
They are rebels. All of them. All quietly recruiting the lowborns to fight for their cause. ‘South the Snout?’ It was just another rhyme to turn the northerners against us. Why they’d refrained from recruiting most highborns.
Derrick’s eyes met mine, and they were full of grief. “I didn’t know, Ry. They didn’t tell me anything until that first time you were called away to the palace. Sir Gavin’s unit is where they put all the new recruits. Take them on missions, bond with them, learn their secrets, and if they pass their tests—if they choose one another over the Crown in offhanded discussions—she promotes them. And then they tell.”
“Ray passed the test, but they didn’t promote me or Ian, because Nyx needed us to get to you,” he added. “You weren’t engaged with your unit. You kept training for that blasted Candidacy and defending Darren. You brought the coin, and I thought it’d be better—you’d passed a test—but then you withdrew again. No one could trust you.” His eyes flared in anger. “I begged and pleaded for Sir Gavin to give you a chance, but Ian wasn’t convinced. He said you were too close to the Crown, that it didn’t matter how much you could bring to our cause, you were too much a risk. That you’d betray us to him.”
I couldn’t breathe.
“The bandits you found near Pamir, they were never taken to the prison in Gilys. They were recruited. Stationed in cities up north, given coin to survive.” My brother’s fingers dug into the straw. “The rebels don’t abandon their people, Ryiah. They don’t leave them to starve. They don’t punish them for turning to crime when the Crown turns its back.”
I forced down a deep lungful of air. “Derrick, the Crown doesn’t have enough coin. It can’t possibly support everyone when Caltoth is sending attacks…” My eyes grew wide. “The rebels, Derrick. Are they working with Caltoth?” And why, if he’s a rebel, is he telling me all of this?
Unless he knew I would never report him.
“Ry, Caltoth isn’t the enemy.”
“Then who is?” I spat the words back in his face. “The Crown? King Blayne? Darren? Me?” My eyes were swelling with tears, and I didn’t bother to hide them. I wanted Derrick to see me. His sister. His own flesh and blood. “Tell me, Derrick. Who is the enemy?”
I wanted him to face me and say it, because I was struggling to name my own.
My brother had the decency to look shamed, his cheeks flushing the color of a stained rose. “It’s not that easy. I—”
“Tell me, Derrick!”
“King Lucius.”
I bit back a laugh. It choked at my lungs with the dust, and I was coughing for close to a minute before it finally stopped. “Is that the best that y
ou can do?” I sneered. “A dead king. My own brother can’t even think of a decent lie. Your people killed him not two months ago and you already forgot?” I was hysterical. He was hysterical. My own brother, the world’s worst liar. How had I missed it over the course of a year?
“No.” Derrick squared his shoulders and shook me. “I’m not lying, Ry. King Lucius has been staging this war since the beginning. Did you know he told his advisors he wanted to expand Jerar two months before his wife’s death.”
“How would you possibly know? It’s just a lie they said to get you to join their cause!”
My brother ignored my question. “One of the advisors, Raphael, disagreed. He didn’t openly oppose it, but he wrote to his younger sister in the north. She was a head knight in one of the regiments in Ferren’s Keep. She went by Nyx.”
Commander Nyx?
“They, with the help of their most trusted friends, plotted to kill the king. It was the only way to stop him. They knew Queen Lillian would be a manageable queen. She wasn’t aware of her husband’s plans. They never wanted to eliminate the Crown, Ryiah. They just wanted a ruler that wasn’t corrupt and trying to cause a war between nations that would cost thousands of lives. They knew the princes would be better under a mother’s guidance than the father.”
Derrick swallowed. “But Raphael mixed up the wines. Queen Lillian drank from the wrong cup. So King Lucius slaughtered the entire room that night. He probably guessed it was intended for him, and he used the event as the first claim to Caltothian attacks.”
I wanted to argue, to protest… but another part of me wanted to listen.
“Lucius staged the border attacks, Ry. For years. Nyx started to suspect and sent some of her most trusted men to investigate. It was just small skirmishes, innocent ones at first, but they started to grow. And knowing Raphael’s secrets, she knew there was more to it. She still hadn’t gotten over the death of her brother, or the secret they’d carried.” He sucked in a breath. “Nyx sent a band of emissaries to Caltoth. She had them petition his court. King Horrace claimed it was a farce. If he’d been allowing the attacks, he could’ve just as easily executed her spies, but instead he listened.” My brother paused. “Horrace might’ve had the coin, but he didn’t have the strength to fight Jerar. He spent years beseeching King Joren’s favor, preparing him for King Lucius’s claims. Because Lucius was hiring Caltothian fugitives, Ry, fugitives and bandits and assassins. He was paying them to attack his own people.”
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