Kiss the Cowboy

by Julie Jarnagin

  He dropped the bag and wiped sweat from his brow. "I don't know. Because she's Lucy." Because some part of him had loved her since they were fourteen. "Maybe if I prove to her that I can pull off this wedding, I'll earn her respect. Maybe she'll look at me differently."

  His father threw down the bag with a grunt. "Or maybe it means you'll have taken her dream job."

  #

  Dylan stood behind the couch and turned the old TV to ESPN. His muscles ached from building fences that afternoon, and all he wanted to do was watch the game.

  With a commercial blaring in the background, he grabbed a drink out of the refrigerator and twisted off the cap.

  Footsteps thudded up the steps. His dad stepped inside and didn't stop walking. "Will you get one for me too?" He yelled down the hall.

  Dylan grabbed another bottle, fell onto the couch, and put his socked feet on the coffee table.

  Red's ears perked up, and Dylan muted the television. Tires crunched on the driveway. Dylan groaned. Who would show up uninvited after dark? Probably one of his single friends looking for something other than frozen pizza for dinner.

  He trudged out to the front porch and squinted out toward the dark drive.

  The moonlight reflected off the black SUV. Lucy. His heart leapt at the sight of her. He straightened, thankful he'd already showered.

  He walked down the steps and across the dry lawn to where she'd parked beside the horse trailer and killed the engine.

  She didn't get out of the car. Was she okay? He bent down to peer into the driver's side window. "Lucy?"

  He opened the door, and she sat unmoving, still staring out the front windshield.

  "What are you doing here? Is everything all right?"

  She glanced back toward road behind her. "I don't know. I took off in my car, and I ended up here. Maybe I shouldn't have come." Nervous energy bounced off her.

  "Come inside."

  Her face turned to him, and she raised an eyebrow.

  "Come inside," he repeated, his voice calm, trying not to scare her away.

  She exhaled and unbuckled her seatbelt.

  They walked in silence up the dark path to the house. Questions swirled in his head. He opened the door and followed her inside.

  The light revealed the paleness of her face. Something was wrong. "Come in. What happened?"

  He motioned for Lucy to sit, but she paced across the carpet.

  She opened her mouth, but nothing came out, like she was choosing the right version to tell. "Last night, I..."

  His dad stepped out of the hallway wearing a clean shirt. "Lucy! I thought I heard someone in here. It's good to see you. Can we get you something to eat or drink?"

  Lucy gave a strained smile. "No, thank you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have barged in like this. I should have called."

  Dylan moved around to stand beside her. "You didn't barge in. We're glad you came."

  His dad plopped down on the couch. "Have a seat." He pointed at the television sitting on a low cabinet. "We were just about to watch the game. You can join us."

  Lucy shook her head. "Thanks, but I should probably go."

  "Wait." Dylan grabbed the remote from the back of the couch cushions and tossed it to his dad. "Lucy and I will be out on the deck." He looked to Lucy.

  She opened her mouth like she would argue, but her shoulders fell. "Okay."

  He opened the back door for her, and she stepped out on to the large wood deck. The smell of the stained wood mixed with the scent of the grass his father had cut this afternoon.

  He pulled an old metal lawn chair from against the house.

  Lucy stared out toward the empty wheat field they had already harvested. "It's beautiful out here."

  It was beautiful—this piece of land, what his dad was trying to rebuild, but none of it was as beautiful as Lucy. Her hair pushed back behind her ears, he studied the line of her profile against the curtain of stars.

  He'd done so much to screw things up with Lucy, but here she was sitting beside him, defenses lowered. "So what happened?"

  She sat in the chair as he dragged one from the other side of the deck. "I feel really weird talking about this. I didn't think this part through when I was driving."

  He sat beside her. "Why? Is it about a guy?"

  "Are you asking if it's about Reed?"

  He about choked on the drink he'd taken. "Is it?"

  She turned toward him. "Let me ask you something. Do you think I'm dating him only because I want his uncle to hire me?"

  "Honestly, I don't. You're too independent and stubborn for that, and I think you'd rather beat me all on your own."

  She broke into a small smile. "You know me better than I'd like to admit."

  "So what did Reed do? Talk about himself so much his head finally exploded?"

  She pressed her lips together. "I think it's the hair gel that keeps his head from exploding, but he's the last person I want to talk about right now."

  He took another drink to keep himself from breaking out in a full-blown smile. Lucy had more sense than he gave her credit for. "Why's that?" Dylan could think of a dozen reasons, but he wanted to hear Lucy's.

  She shrugged. "Our night didn't end so well. I caught a ride home with my mom and Kenneth. He disappeared because he was trying to score some big-name client."

  A mixture of anger and relief built in his chest. "That guy deserves to have someone knock the arrogance right out of him."

  She rolled her eyes. "Is that every man's first instinct? To punch someone."

  Adrenaline pumped through him. "In certain situations, it should be."

  She looked at him and shook her head. "I don't want you to hit him."

  He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Can I slash the tires on his little car?"

  That earned another smile. "No. You can't slash his tires."

  "So if you didn't come here because you're mad at Reed, why are you here?"

  "First of all, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm still angry at you."

  He nodded. "Okay. That's fair."

  "But I needed to talk to someone." She fidgeted with her hands. "Something happened, and you're the only person who knew my dad...knew me...before everything changed."

  He wished he could reach out and take one of her jittery hands, but there seemed to be an invisible line between them he couldn't cross. "You can always talk to me, Lucy. About anything."

  She bit her bottom lip. "Last night, I learned that my mom and stepfather were dating before my father died."

  Dylan sucked air through his teeth. "Wow. She told you that?"

  She pulled a photograph from her jacket pocket and handed it to him. "She didn't have to. I found this."

  He held it up to get some of the light from the kitchen window. He could make out the image of a couple in an embrace. He looked at her and waited.

  "It's my mom and Kenneth. There's a date on the bottom." She rubbed her fingers across her eyes. "I always thought she avoided talking about my father because it was too painful for her."

  "Maybe the date is wrong. Maybe someone didn't know how to set it up on their camera. I'm lousy at that kind of thing."

  Lucy shook her head. "Her hair is long. She cut it before my dad died. This was definitely before."

  Not knowing what to say, he stared at the photo. "I'm sorry, Lucy. This has to be hard for you."

  She stood and leaned back against the railing, facing him. "My mom lied about this for years. Why would she do that to me?"

  "Maybe for the same reasons you never told her everything about your dad's accident." He knew that Lucy wasn't looking for an answer from him, but as an outsider looking in, he could see that the secrets in their family were only making things worse. "Maybe she was afraid of what you might think of her. The only way to know for sure is to ask her."

  "No way," she said, her stare now hard. "I don't want to hear her excuses. I'm so angry."

  "You have to talk to her, Lucy. You can't ignor
e this."

  "What would it change? My father is dead. She and Kenneth are married. It won't benefit any of us to drag this out into the light."

  "You can honestly tell me that it wouldn't be freeing for you to talk about this. To get it all out on the table."

  Lucy gripped the wooden railing of the deck behind her. "You never talk about your mom. You've never mentioned her. If you like getting things out in the open, why did you never tell me why she wasn't around?"

  A familiar pain ran through his bones as he stood. "You want to know why my mom wasn't in my life at fourteen?"

  Lucy's face softened. "You don't have to tell me. It's just that you never talked about her."

  He stepped closer to her. "It's simple really. She left us. She didn't want to be married. Didn't want to have two kids holding her back."

  "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

  "I'm only telling you all that because, even though having that conversation will be hard and uncomfortable, it'll worth it to salvage your relationship with your mother if you can. My sister and I never had that option."

  Her gaze darted down to her hands. "I don't know."

  "Don't let something that happened all those years ago come between you and your mom."

  The lights from the moonlight reflected in her glassy eyes. "I'm only a reminder of an old life she wants to forget. A life I thought I wanted to forget, too."

  He was silent, waiting for more. Wanting her to trust him with whatever she was feeling.

  "Now I'm not sure why. I tried to do what she did—embrace our new life. All these years I've worked so hard to win their approval, but I never seemed to fit."

  He wanted to scoop her up and make all her pain go away. "Maybe it's because you still fit here."

  #

  Lucy stared out toward the dark outline of the elm tree on the back of the property. She and Dylan used to sit under that tree and dream about where they would go when they left home. Lucy hadn't known that leaving home for a new life would happen sooner than she could have ever expected. She'd wanted to travel the world. She'd moved to Dallas, and aside from a few short trips abroad, she'd never left.

  Dylan stood so close, the cotton sleeve of his shirt brushed against her skin. "That old tree got struck by lightning not long after you left. Everyone said it would have to be cut down, but the next spring we were all surprised to see it leaf out again."

  "I'm glad it survived. The place wouldn't look the same without it." Other than the barn and house, it was the only thing sticking up from the flat landscape.

  She always thought coming back here would be too painful. It was full of painful memories of her father, but she also found a comfort here. Something familiar that she hadn't even realized she'd yearned for since leaving.

  "I was planning to take a horse ride tomorrow, check out some of the fences on the perimeter. Would you like to come with me?"

  Unease crept up her spine. She didn't want Dylan to think she was okay with his meeting with J.T. "Like I said the other night, I haven't ridden in years. Not since we moved to the city."

  "I guess I'm surprised you would give up something you loved so much."

  She shrugged. "When I was a teenager, it was easier to give that stuff up than hang onto anything from the past, and lately, I've been so focused on my career, I haven't had time for anything else."

  Silence hung between them for a moment. "I wanted to apologize again for the whole situation with J.T.—"

  She held her hand up. "Please. You don't have to do this. I don't need you to apologize."

  He turned toward her. "You may not need to hear it, but I need to say it."

  She shook her head. "You were doing what was best for your career." She wondered if Dylan understood how much his life would change if J.T. named him executive chef of his new restaurant. Between managing the kitchen staff and putting out fires, her last job had been all-consuming. "Some days, I don't even know if I'm ready to jump back into the ridiculous hours and stress of running a high-paced kitchen in a fine dining restaurant again."

  There was a rattle behind them as Red slid through the doggy door. Dylan reached down and patted her side. "Whenever things get to be too much around here, I fantasize that Red and I drive to Mexico and become beach bums."

  "At my last job, I used to imagine that I'd turn in my resignation and open a tiny storefront bakery. Maybe just one or two employees. I'd spend all day making French pastries." She could almost smell the éclairs, croissants, and macaroons lined up in neat rows in the display case.

  He scratched Red's ears. "That sounds amazing. Why don't you do that?"

  She laughed. "Funny."

  "I'm serious."

  "You've met my family."

  "And I don't know why you're still itching to please them, especially now." He held up the photo she'd set on the railing. "Maybe God wanted you to see this now for a reason. This could be your chance to get out from under their expectations for your life."

  He didn't understand. He couldn't. "For the first time in a long time, I feel like earning their respect in within reach."

  Dylan held the photo out to her. "Just don't let it come at the cost of respecting yourself."

  She'd said too much, letting all her vulnerabilities show through. If she were going to have a shot against him, she had to keep her emotions under control. "I really should be going."

  She did her best to ignore the disappointment in his eyes.

  "I'll walk you out," he said. "This way."

  She nodded and followed him down the steps and around the side of the house. Away from the windows, the only light was the faint glow of the moonlight. Their footfalls and the buzz of the locusts were the only sounds. It had been so long since she'd been away from the city lights, she'd almost forgotten how beautiful and peaceful it was at night. She stopped and stared up at the sky. "There are so many stars out."

  When she looked at him, he wasn't looking at the sky, but at her.

  Uncomfortable under his gaze, she circled him and walked toward her car, taking a shortcut by the barn.

  As she plodded through the grass, she reminded herself of all the reasons she couldn't trust him. He was trying to steal her dream job. He was an unreliable cowboy, charming and persuasive when he needed to be, but guaranteed to let her down. She'd thought it was just cowboys, but Reed had only been using her to build a business relationship with her father. And Dylan was probably using her to improve his chances at getting the job.

  She was stronger than this. Stronger than the pull Dylan had on her.

  He jogged up beside her, grabbed her waist, and pulled her beside her. "Careful."

  She gasped and looked up, the warmth of his fingers still lingering on her side.

  "You almost got yourself a shock."

  She looked down to see the moonlight barely reflecting off a thin wire on posts. A faint buzz came from the fence.

  "It's electric, to keep the horses in."

  She nodded, but she probably wouldn't have noticed running into the fence. An electric current already charged through her at Dylan's touch.

  He stood close, his arms still around her, smelling like cinnamon. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly.

  He straightened, leaving her unsteady.

  "Lucy, all I want is for you to be safe and happy and to get everything you want out of life."

  What did she want? Right now, all she could think about was his kiss, strong and soft. With the big expanse of stars over them, her problems felt far away.

  She'd run from this place for so long, and now that she was here, she felt trapped between two worlds, and both kept shifting beneath her feet.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Lucy stood on the front steps of her mom and Kenneth's house early the next morning, staring at the brass doorbell but lacking the courage to press it. Lucy had slept last night but spent all night dreaming about her mom and dad together on the ranch.

  The door opened, and Lucy jumped at t
he sight of Kenneth in his suit, tie, and pressed shirt.

  His forehead wrinkled "Lucy? How long have you been standing there? I didn't hear you knock?"

  She gave him a half-hearted smile. "Just got here."

  Her stomach clenched as she thought about the photo of him with his arms around her mom—a married woman. An affair. Sneaking around. Lying. Where had her mom said she was going when she was really meeting Kenneth? "I wanted to talk to Mom. She around?"

  "She's at yoga or Pilates or something. She had one of those mats when she left."

  Lucy nodded, feeling heavy and convinced coming here had been a huge mistake. Dylan didn't understand the dynamics of her family. Talking about their problems might be how he, his sister, and his father dealt with things, but it wasn't that simple for the Morgans. There was too much history that didn't need to be uncovered. "I won't keep you from work."

  Kenneth bent down to retrieve a rolled up Dallas Morning News. "I'm not leaving. Just grabbing the paper to read with my coffee." He turned and walked inside. "Come on in."

  Lucy stared at the open door as Kenneth disappeared into the kitchen. She didn't want to hang out with him alone, especially not with so much on her mind.

  Without a way out, she groaned and stepped onto the marble tile of the entry. She walked into the kitchen with its dark stained woodwork and the stark white counter made of stone. She hoisted herself onto a leather bar stool with a border of brass nail heads.

  Kenneth pointed to his fancy espresso machine. "Coffee?"

  "Sure." But she wasn't sure if even caffeine could help her this morning.

  He pressed a few buttons and slid a small mug under the spout. "Is everything okay? You look...tired."

  Her sleep had returned last night, but she felt tired. Tired of thinking about the photo. Tired of how it made her question everything she thought she knew about her life. "I have a pounding headache, but I'm fine."

  His eyebrow quirked. "Were you drinking last night?"

  She gave a weary laugh. "Of course not."

  The machine made slurping noises behind him. "I'm concerned about you. You're not acting like yourself lately. You weren't at family dinner last night. You never miss dinner without at least calling us first."