by Riley Storm
“Because why wouldn’t fate see humor in making my life even more complicated today,” he said, his understanding of the entire day’s events suddenly making more sense.
Not that it made his task any easier. No, nothing remotely as fun as that.
The door opened and Amber stuck her head out. “Who’s this?”
Kincaid looked at Amber, then at Kasperi, and his face split in a grin.
“He’s just leaving,” Kasperi said, reaching up to stop Kincaid from saying anything. “Had some information to give me, which I’m grateful for, but he can’t stay.”
“Sure, whatever.” Amber rolled her eyes and ducked back inside, narrowly missing trapping her three-foot long ponytail in the door before it closed.
Kincaid crossed his arms, some of the joy and glee leaving his face. “What, are you not happy? This is your mate, Kasperi. She’s here, now. In your quarters.”
“You don’t recognize her, do you?” he asked.
Kincaid shrugged. “Only from my visions.”
“This is the same girl that was on trial for unlawful magic use earlier today,” he chuckled, unable to resist the other man’s enthusiasm for playing cupid. It was damn contagious just how happy he was to tell Kasperi. Far be it for him to ruin the man’s day.
“Oh. I see. Well, sorry about that.”
He clasped Kincaid on the shoulder. “Don’t be. Thank you for the information, and believe me, I am happy. Very.”
Kincaid tossed his hands in the air. “If you say so. I’ll let you go from here, I just wanted to come tell you what I saw.”
Nodding, he shook the Hunter’s hand and watched him amble off down the hallway, happy to have served his purpose.
Only once Kincaid was around the corner did Kasperi let out a sigh and curse solidly for at least a minute. This was the last sort of complication he needed in his life. Now he had to defend her from anyone and everyone. Then he would have to make sure Amber learned how to control her magic, without succumbing to it. On top of all that, he would be operating with the knowledge that she was the one woman he would ever be with.
Good thing she doesn’t hate me. That would certainly make things more complicated.
Oh wait. She does.
Lucky me.
13
Another cloud of dust drifted up from the desk as she turned the page. Absently, she reached up to wipe at the collar, keeping it clean.
Kasperi and Korred had both told her she’d be fine, that the tiny debris wouldn’t affect the magical interference of the collar, but she didn’t want to risk it. The past two days had been the most peaceful of the last year at least, more likely of the last three or four years.
The giant bed she’d been sleeping in that just sort of sucked her in and kept her floating on a cloud certainly helped. Four or five of her could sleep in it easily and not be squished, and she had the entire thing to herself. At first, she’d felt bad about pushing Kasperi to the couch, but he didn’t seem to mind. The giant could pass out anywhere, she’d learned.
Which was where he currently was, while she escaped for some much-needed studying on her own. The dust finally made it to her eyes and she blinked rapidly for a few seconds, taking the time to curse Korred the Magi yet again for his insistence that she read these books on magical theory; they hadn’t been touched since he was probably an apprentice, thirty or forty years earlier. Every page turn stirred up more dust, while the words on them threatened to put her to sleep.
It was boring, and tedious, and she didn’t feel like she was learning anything of relevant value. The magic—something she was still having a hard time believing in, but also couldn’t deny—was there, it was in her. She’d used it, could feel it if the collar came off. She’d argued that practical training was more ideal, that she should be in the practice room focusing on how to control it. Korred had disagreed.
Which meant, despite it being Christmas Day, she was stuck in the massive library deep in the bowels of Ursidae Manor, reading books that were old half a century ago. It wasn’t ideal, or even okay, but she didn’t really have a choice. Nobody else could teach her, and Korred refused unless she had a thorough practical understanding of magic.
The worst part of it all, was that Amber was starting to feel like she understood why he was forcing her to do this. Much of the texts talked about the theory behind how magic altered one’s morals and conscience, making them more fluid and less set in their ways, just like magic itself. Magic could be worked and formed into almost anything imaginable without enough training, innate strength, and discipline. But at its core, it was a fluid, uncontrollable thing. And it liked its hosts to be the same.
The Magi was trying to instill fear, but also respect, into her, to make her appreciate just how easily the magic could take control of her if she didn’t approach it properly. Although it was serving that point, it was having another effect.
Amber, unlike the novices who would read this before their power truly manifested, had been dealing with her power for over a year now. Plenty of time had already passed for it to manipulate her, to sink its evil tentacles deep into the core of what she considered to be her as a person. How much of her was compromised? How many of the decisions she’d made since her magic became uncontrollable were the wrong ones, ones she wouldn’t have made otherwise?
It scared her to know this darkness lurked deep within her. To have felt it, to have interacted with it. If anything, Amber was more terrified than ever of taking the collar off, of having to feel it again. To use magic for her own good was tempting, so very tempting, in a way she couldn’t quite explain to anyone who hadn’t tasted its seductive powers before.
Even with the collar on, she was aware of its siren call. Every time she saw a shifter giving her a dark look, or even an open sneer of disdain, she was tempted to whip the collar off and unleash hell upon it, like she had done to Kasperi. But worse. Amber wanted to hit them harder. To hurt them, all because she knew she could. All she had to do was let go. To let the magic take control.
The books she was reading contained stories of the people who had done just that, who had let their magic run wild. It also contained stories of those with a naturally evil bent. When their magic mixed with that, it turned them into true monsters. Some of the things they had done were so horrific, she’d had to skip over pages of gore-filled details. The grisly murders and ways that they had twisted the normal human populace to fulfill their will was more than she could stomach.
I will not become one of them. I’m stronger than that. Better than that.
Vowing she would do whatever it took to learn the control necessary to avoid becoming a monster, Amber bent back over the book, forcing herself to read some more. It might be dry and boring, but if it kept her alive and stopped her from hurting others, then it was worth it. Eventually, she would become strong enough to rid herself of the collar.
But not yet. For now, its heavy weight would be a constant reminder of what waited for her if she made the wrong choice, if she rushed her training or let herself get cocky.
Another book thumped down on the table next to her, stirring up dust that had only just settled.
“What the hell?” she said, coughing on the debris-filled air, making a mental note to give the next book a good shake before she opened it.
“Sorry,” Kasperi said, sitting down at the desk next to her, flipping open his own book on magical theory. It was one she’d read the day before.
“Having trouble with the texts?” she said. “I’m sure we can find you one in the kids’ section. It’ll have pop-ups and coloring. Maybe even little tabs on the side to make the pictures move if you pull them.”
“What are you talking about?”
Amber sighed. Sometimes it was like talking to a brick wall. A brick wall that moved around, and never let her out of its shadow. That was how she thought of Kasperi. He protected her, went wherever she went, but was dull and boring at the best of times.
“I finished that boo
k yesterday. I’m onto the fifth one now. You’re behind.”
Kasperi looked at the book she was reading, lifted the cover, then let it drop. More dust leapt into the air. Ass.
“That one’s not on my reading list. Ever think we have different lists? Or must you always try to make me feel inferior?”
Amber’s mouth dropped open slightly in surprise. Was that hurt in his tone? He’d been far more guarded ever since that other shifter had come by the first night, right after they’d almost…
Almost what? Amber had no idea how it would have turned out. They were just standing there, talking. Yes, his hand was on her arm, but that was it, she told her herself. Nothing else.
“I was just hoping for a Christmas miracle,” she fired back. “Hoping that I’d managed to find some time to myself. Don’t you have anything better to do on Christmas than follow me around?”
Kasperi rolled his eyes with exaggerated slowness and sat up straight, looking across the desk at her. “I’m trying to study, do you mind? Just like you are. Unless you’re bored too.”
Amber was about to fire back a hot retort about studying just fine until he showed up, but his last sentence had taken a left turn she wasn’t expecting. “What do you mean bored?”
“Bored. As in, tired of studying. As in, you don’t want to be reading that dusty old tome right now. As in, it’s Christmas and we should be enjoying ourselves, not locked away in a stuffy library reading books that are only teaching us to fear what we have.”
Her attention was fully on Kasperi now. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, I didn’t come here to study. I came here because I got you something.”
Amber frowned. “Why?”
What was his plan here? There had to be some sort of ulterior motive behind it. That sort of action was out of sorts with the character he’d been displaying. There must be a reason.
“Oh relax,” he growled, seeing her face tighten. “Consider it an apology if you have to.”
Thoroughly confused now, she racked her brain, trying to come up with what he was apologizing for. It was smart, but she just had to make sure she picked the right mistake he was making amends for.
“Is this like an, ‘I’m sorry I’ve locked you up in my castle, but maybe this will help make the best of it?’ sort of thing? Because those never go over well, Kasperi.”
Green circles disappeared behind his eyelids as he sighed in frustration. “No. Not at all like that. You know I dislike your circumstances here as much as you do. More than you can understand, trust me.”
She considered his words, wondering what he was hinting at. Why would it be tougher for him? It was not like he was in any jeopardy if she screwed up. Nobody wanted his head. Why would it bother him then? What wasn’t he telling her?
“What are you apologizing for then?”
His face broke out into a huge grin. “The ass-whooping I’m going to lay on you when we take our test in two more days.”
Amber started laughing loudly, only to break out into coughs as she tried to subdue the noise, remembering she was in a library. Nobody hushed her down, which was most likely due to the fact that, once again, it was Christmas and nobody in their right mind was spending it studying amongst the stacks.
“I can’t envision a way in which that happens,” she said. “I seem to have this memory of you going flying across the room into the wall the last time we cut loose.”
Kasper opened his mouth to speak, but she spoke again, purposefully interrupting him.
“Wait. No. I have two memories of that happening actually.” She grinned. “Do you not remember that? Did you hit your head so hard you forgot?”
“Ha, ha,” he growled.
“But just because you’ve suppressed that painful experience doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be rude of me to turn down a gift. I suppose I could look at it as a bribe, for me to go easy on you.”
Kasperi glowered at her, and she laughed some more, keeping the level down this time.
The whole sharing quarters situation with him was awkward, and most of the time, he was that brick wall of no personality. But the few times he let his guard drop, she always seemed to end up having an okay conversation with him, even if it mostly consisted of the two of them exchanging barbs. She was fine with that. That was something Amber had experience with.
“Okay, fine. I’ll stop studying for a bit. That can be my gift to you. Since I didn’t get you anything.”
Grinning, Kasperi stood up quickly, book forgotten about. “Great, let’s go.”
“You didn’t bring it?” she asked, looking around for a present, but not seeing anything.
“No, come on.”
She closed the book and put it into the bag with the others.
“Come on, come on,” he said eagerly, shaking a hand at her to hurry up.
“Okay, I’m coming!” She hurried to catch him.
Kasperi reached out and grabbed her empty hand, tugging her along as they went for the exit. It took her a moment to realize just what was going on, and she stopped, pulling her hand free.
“What are you doing?” she asked, looking at it.
“I…” Kasperi looked at his own hand, then at hers, and back. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
Amber’s lips went flat. She didn’t believe him for a second, but he didn’t seem to have meant anything malicious by it, so there was no point harping on. Still, she didn’t want him thinking that just because she was spending so much time with him, she was getting sweet on him.
She definitely wasn’t.
“Where are we going?” she asked, still not entirely confident of her way around the sprawling Manor complex.
“Practice room,” he said, sweeping ahead of her and then pulling open a door.
She entered the magic practice room from the opposite side she normally entered, and Kasperi came in after her, pushing past her and moving to the center column. It could just be her, but she was fairly positive he had a spring in his step. Whatever the gift was, he was excited to give it to her.
Picking something from the rack, he turned, carefully keeping it behind his back until she came closer.
“Merry Christmas,” he said, pulling out a length of wood about three feet long, perhaps an inch and a half, two inches in diameter.
“What…what is it?” she asked, carefully reaching out to take it from him, holding it uneasily. “Is this some sort of metaphor about me needing some wood?”
“No, you jerk. It’s your staff.” He winced. “Well, I mean, it’s going to be your staff. Once you carve it.”
“Huh?”
Kasperi grinned excitedly. “All mages should have a staff,” he said.
Based on the readings she’d done, Amber knew that in fact, many mages did not use staffs. Still, it was quite obvious that Kasperi meant well, that he’d put some actual thought into the gift.
Amber had expected a gag gift of sorts, something to poke fun at her, or to scare her. Instead, he’d shown serious caring and compassion in selecting something. Something that he felt she was going to earn the ability to use. It showed forethought, and support, in a way that words could never quite convey.
Truthfully, she was touched, and more than a little moved. “I…I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything,” she said, feeling bad about it. This was Christmas, it was the time of giving and sharing.
“It’s fine,” he said. “Do you like it?”
She nodded, holding the staff upright in one hand. It had a good weight to it, and she could rest it on the ground easily. It was sized for her too. Blinking back a bit of moisture, she stepped up to him and, after a moment’s hesitation, put her arms around him, holding the pose for an extra half-second more than necessary to convey her thanks.
“Thank you, Kasperi. This was really thoughtful of you.”
Then, before she could think twice about it, she grabbed his collar, pulled his face down to her level and pressed her lips to his cheek.
What the hell are you doing?
Her eyes went wide as she realized where her lips were, and she pulled back, stumbling away, keeping a grip on her staff.
“Ahh, umm. I need to go,” she said awkwardly, and fled the room.
14
Filled with excess energy after Amber had kissed him on the cheek, Kasperi went to the best place he could think of to blow off some steam and calm down: the practice gym.
Not the circular padded room for magic training, but his old stomping grounds, the weapons training area of the Manor. He passed several soldiers of House Ursa, former comrades of his, before he’d left there for first the Asps, and now the employ of the Magi. It was far from his first time back, however, and many of them nodded in greeting.
Pushing open the doors to his favorite training room, he came up short. It was in use. Irritation buzzed briefly at him, until he recognized who it was. Nobody ever used this room. It was old, dingy and really no good for much of anything. But Kasperi loved it. It was big, had such a high ceiling that he could jump and move about with ease, and it was private, set far off in a corner, so he could work out his routines without interruptions or bystanders watching him work.
“Kasperi.”
The frustration at someone usurping “his” gym faded as the other shifter turned to face him, sword dropping to the side, away from his body.
“Kirell!” he said happily. “I didn’t know you were back yet.”
The Captain of House Ursa, and Kasperi’s former boss, nodded, wiping a sheen of sweat from his forehead with the back of one arm. “Got back just in time for Christmas. I guess the girls do a Christmas party thing, so Natalia insisted that she be back in time to head into Plymouth Falls for that. Who am I to say no?” He frowned. “Besides, I don’t want to deal with Loren being mad at me.”
Kasperi chuckled. He’d only met Natalia’s feisty best friend once, but that had been enough to engender a healthy respect for the woman. He didn’t blame Kirell one bit for wanting to avoid her wrath.
“What brings you down to this part of the Manor?” Kirell asked, moving away, bringing the sword up to a guard position and slowly putting his body through a series of moves. “I thought you were with the Magi now. According to the latest report to cross my desk. Though before that, it was the Asps. Getting bored?”