“Then, when Payne showed up last night,” Eric continued, ignoring my question, “he saw you and Dante having a moment . . . ”
“Nothing was happening,” I insisted. “He had just told me something really personal!”
“Why do you think he did that?” Eric asked,
I really had no idea why. It seemed to come out of nowhere. “I didn’t ask him to bare his soul.”
“I know you didn’t,” Eric said, “but you’re very easy to talk to. In my entire life—and I can say that better than most people—I never met anyone who was so easy to talk to. And for Dante to open up like that, when he clearly doesn’t open up very much, means something.”
I just stared at him. Nobody ever looked at me twice before I came to Spirit. Now Eric was telling me that a second boy had feelings for me.
“Payne’s told you that he loves you. Do you have any idea how it must feel for you not to say it back? I mean, if you know that you love him, and know that you’ve seen yourself together with him, why not just tell him?”
“I don’t know why I can’t say it.”
Before I came to Spirit, nobody in my family said those things out loud. I think the first person that I heard say I love you, and mean it, was Uncle Mark. I know how I feel about Payne, but every time I think about saying it out loud, something holds me back.
It just feels wrong to say it.
I paused, forced myself to sit down next to Eric and sighed.
“I’ve had these visions,” I said. “Just quick ones. Flashes. Of Dante and I—the two of us.”
I stopped talking and looked at Ricky, who was watching me through the glass of his cage.
“Doing what?” Eric prompted.
“Nothing,” I insisted. “Just—I told him, or rather I will tell him, that I love him. And . . . maybe there was a kiss.”
Eric and Ricky both stared at me. I felt horrible. Then I looked at the clock and realized I had to go.
“I want to leave before Payne comes to pick me up.”
I got up from the bed and grabbed my bookbag and jacket. Just before I reached for the doorknob, I stopped short.
“So, if I’m so easy to talk to,” I asked, “why didn’t you tell me what you were thinking about doing to yourself?”
When Eric didn’t answer, I looked over my shoulder. I wasn’t surprised to see that he had gone.
I made my way downstairs, said goodbye to everyone and ran out before my family had a chance to ask me why I was leaving so early. I just wanted to get to the bus stop.
When I got outside, Payne was leaning against the side of his parked car.
“I thought I texted you not to show up,” I said.
“No,” Payne said. “You said you were perfectly capable of taking the bus. You didn’t tell me not to come.”
“It was implied,” I said.
“Too bad,” Payne said. “In case you’ve forgotten, we agreed that you shouldn’t be alone. You’re not taking the bus.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t think that the Shadow Creatures are going to do anything while I’m on the B-42.”
Payne came over to me, quickly.
“Who the hell knows what they’ll do?” There was a fire in his eyes. “Bristol, I know you’re pissed at me, and maybe I deserve it, but I’m not taking chances that something might happen. You want me gone? Then go inside and ask your uncle to drive you to school. Stay with someone who knows what’s going on.”
“I don’t need a bodyguard,” I told him.
“You’re stuck with me.” He came up really close. “Maybe you wish you’d never met me, but I’m sticking with you until I know you’re safe. And if you want to ditch me afterward . . . ”
“I never said I wanted to ditch you,” I said, then let out a sigh. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to give you what you want, but I’m not about to be emotionally blackmailed. I’m just not ready to say it.”
Payne’s deep, blue eyes stared into mine. I wanted to kiss him, or hug him, or even hit him. But I just stood there, waiting for him to react.
Payne sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, I could tell that something had changed.
“I’m sorry,” he said. It wasn’t the first time he’d said it since Friday night, but it was the first time that I felt like he really meant it. “Maybe I crossed a line.” As he said this, he reached up and started to play with my hair, twirling a lock of it with his fingers.
“Maybe?” I retorted.
Payne smiled.
His fingers moved from my hair and touched my cheek. Then, slowly, he kissed me. This wasn’t like the hard, possessive kiss he’d planted on me Friday. It was just a gesture of love.
I kissed him back and for a moment, everything else disappeared. This is where I belonged, with Payne. I knew that.
We stood for a moment, his forehead resting against mine. It seemed perfect. I thought about saying to him what he wanted me to say. I could almost form those words; I could almost say what Payne had wanted to hear so badly.
But I didn’t.
“Payne,” I said, “Dante just drove me home. My uncle invited him in for dinner, and gave Simon some really good advice. Then we talked, and he just sort of opened up about something personal.”
“Personal?”
“I can’t tell you exactly,” I answered. “It was private.”
I could see that Payne didn’t like that, but he held his tongue.
I hoped that I wasn’t pushing Payne too far. “If I’m going to keep an eye on Scarlett, I kind of have to see him, too.”
“I don’t suppose,” Payne said as we climbed into his car, “you’ve seen anything else lately that might help?”
“Nope,” I said. “Sorry. I haven’t had any vision that makes sense.”
“What does that mean?” Payne asked.
“Well,” I answered, “I do have normal dreams, sometimes. I’ve been having this weird one about a snake.”
We pulled out of the driveway. Payne looked confused. “What kind of snake?”
“I don’t know. That’s the weird thing,” I answered. “I’ve seen it going through school, mostly. Hanging out with most of us. But none of us notice it. And we don’t seem to be doing anything important. It’s just slithering around us.”
“Think it means anything?” Payne asked.
“Like what?” I said.
“Well, it could mean something more, couldn’t it?”
“Maybe,” I said. “I just hope it doesn’t mean a giant snake is going to start attending class with us.”
“I don’t know,” Payne said with a shrug. “Might liven things up a bit.”
We pulled into Maggie’s driveway, and I laughed as I saw Maggie come out her front door to meet us.
“Yeah,” I said, “it would give Priscilla someone to go to prom with.”
Journal of Bristol Blackburn
Since our fight, Payne’s seemed determined to stay on his best behavior. He’s been polite to Dante whenever they’ve been together. Dante just seems a little more reserved.
Blasé, on the other hand, is getting more and more out of hand. He keeps shoulder-checking me whenever we pass in the hallway. Now I have to keep Payne from finding out, otherwise the two of them will go at it, and I don’t like the idea of Payne being set on fire. Again.
Blasé is getting bolder, though. Yesterday, when he knocked into me, Dante was there, and he grabbed Blasé to tell him to apologize. After he let go, he told me later that his hand felt burnt. It wasn’t bad, and Dante figured that it was friction from how hard he’d grabbed Blasé, but I knew better.
In some good news, Hunter is getting better. She’s been taken out of ICU, and is allowed to have some visitors besides immediate family. We’re going to see her after school.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first saw Hunter. She had always been the most beautiful girl in school; it was hard to imagine her seriously injured. When I
turned the corner into her room, she was lying in bed talking to Ian, who had somehow managed to get there before us. Her face was purple and yellow with bruises, but healing. She still had both legs in casts, as well as her left arm.
Ian had come to the hospital everyday just to see how she was doing, but this was the first time he’d gotten in to see her. I wondered for a moment if we should leave them alone, but as we stopped in the doorway, Hunter looked up and saw us.
Payne, Maggie, Bryan and I slowly filed inside, each giving her hugs, kisses and balloons tied to ribbons and teddy bears.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
“Like I got body slammed by Toby,” she said with a smile. “I probably look like it, too.”
“You look beautiful,” Ian said.
“You’re sweet,” Hunter replied. “But that has to be a lie.”
The look on Hunter’s face troubled me. She seemed unsure of herself. She kept frowning, and her eyes drew together in confusion as if she was trying to decipher what we’d just said.
“I get to go home this week,” she continued. “Grandpa is making arrangements to bring equipment to the house, and have people help me there. I can’t wait.”
“Good for you,” I said. “Can you remember what happened?”
“No,” Hunter answered. “I remember dropping Maggie off at home. I was driving. Then, nothing. I get flashes of the ambulance, or the hospital, but there was nothing concrete until I woke up.”
After about an hour, most of the group had to leave, but Hunter asked Payne and I to stay a little longer. As soon as everyone else was gone, she turned to us with a businesslike expression.
“Tell me everything you couldn’t tell me before. What’s happened since the accident?”
Payne and I sat down and quickly filled Hunter in on everything that had occurred since she’d been in the crash. Everything from Eric staying around, to how the Shadow Creatures were back, to the vision I’d had of her grandfather killing Scarlett.
Hunter didn’t flip out about that as much as I’d thought, which surprised me.
“Well,” she said. “Clearly, there’s more to your vision than you know. I mean, why would Grandpa even want to kill Scarlett? It makes no sense.”
“That’s what we were figuring,” Payne said. “Bristol used to have visions of me killing her, when she was a little girl. Before any of us ever met.”
I told Hunter that story as well, enjoying how her jaw dropped and her eyes widened as I spoke.
“What if someone out there has the same ability as Uncle Jasper?” Payne asked. “It’s happened, I suppose.”
We all thought about that for a few minutes.
“Look,” Hunter said. “We’ll have to keep an eye out. But you guys are going to have to get going soon, and I need you to do something for me before you leave.”
“Anything,” Payne said quickly. “What?”
“Lie to me,” she said.
Payne and I stared at her in confusion.
“Lie to me,” Hunter repeated. “My sense hasn’t gone off once since the accident. Of course, I was never foolproof, but still. Even before, when Ian said I was beautiful, I couldn’t tell if he was lying.”
“Hunter,” I said. “Ian would probably say you were beautiful and mean it even if you started to look like my grandfather.”
“Please,” Hunter replied. “I’m a mess.”
“Well,” Payne joked, pulling a face, “now that you mention it . . . ”
I hit Payne on the arm, which made Hunter smile.
“Anyway,” she said, “it may be nothing. So, just lie to me.”
“Okay,” I said. “Um. Priscilla and I are best friends now.”
Hunter stared at me; then shook her head.
“Nothing. Try again. Something a little less obvious.”
I thought about it for a few moments.
“Okay. Here a few things we haven’t mentioned since you’ve been in here. I’m pretty sure that Simon has a crush on Eric’s sister, Skyler. Your cousin Blasé has been trying to apologize for acting like such an ass for so long, and there’s a rumor going around the school that I’m cheating on Payne behind his back, with Scarlett’s brother Dante.”
Hunter blinked at me a few times, then she looked from Payne to me.
“Damn it. Nothing. That was a little better, but I want something where I really have no idea what you’re lying about.”
“Which one did you think I was lying about?” I asked.
“Well, duh,” Hunter answered. “Number three. You’d never cheat.”
“Thank you,” I said. “But that one’s true. Priscilla started it.”
“Oh,” Hunter looked upset. “I suppose it’s too much to ask that Simon isn’t crushing on Skyler.”
“Sorry,” I replied.
“Don’t worry,” I said, “it was just the crash. It’ll come back.”
“Maybe,” Hunter said. “I hope.”
Payne and I tried making up a few more stories, but no matter how many fabrications, fibs, and downright lies we told her, she didn’t get a buzz from any of it. After a while, we started to get a bit desperate to come up with lies, so what we did say got a bit obvious. With my grandpa’s bad leg, there was very little chance that he was going to run away to join a circus. And no, Priscilla wasn’t about to take a vow of silence.
Eventually Payne and I left the hospital and he dropped me off at home. I was so exhausted I went straight upstairs to sit down on my bed. I wasn’t going to sleep, but it was just so comfortable . . .
Nobody seemed upset that a giant snake was slithering through the hallways as they made their way to class. Everyone went on with his or her normal routine like it was nothing, including me.
I was standing by the lockers, talking to Dante. As we spoke, I kept noticing the longing way he looked at me, although I couldn’t hear what we were saying. His eyes never left me. He’d smile whenever I did and kept watching me, even when I wasn’t looking at him.
We didn’t look upset. And when I walked away, he watched me go. Long after I had turned the corner in the hallway, Dante stared after me.
The snake watched Dante, too. Then it slithered towards him, but he never seemed to react to it.
The scene changed: we were in the gym. The snake slid around the cheerleaders as they practiced, but no one noticed. As practice ended, and they started to head to the locker room, the snake found Priscilla and circled her.
Finally the scene changed again. This time, I didn’t see the school at all. It was nighttime, and the snake was curled up under a tree.
There was a guy there. He was hard to see in the darkness, but I knew it wasn’t Payne. Whoever it was, he was naked, curled up with the snake.
The snake recoiled for a moment, then struck the person who was intertwined with it. Its fangs quickly sank into their flesh.
I saw the person’s face. It was Blasé, and he looked happy. For the first time in a long time, Blasé looked happy.
I woke up, startled. It was raining. Thunder and lightning filled the early morning sky. But if I listened carefully, I could hear them.
The Shadow Creatures were laughing.
“So, let me get this straight,” Payne said, as we were driving. “This is the same giant snake you keep dreaming about, just making its way around town.”
“More or less.”
“Okay,” he said. “Is the snake here with us now?”
“Do you see a snake?” I asked.
“No,” Payne admitted, “but no one else did, according to you.” He frowned. “What does it want?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is the snake a real snake,” Payne asked, “or symbolic of something?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you know?”
“I hate snakes.”
Payne sighed. “Do you know how unhelpful that is?”
I knew that it was
very unhelpful, but it was fun watching Payne bury his face in his hands.
“So now what?” Payne looked resigned. “Don’t say ‘I don’t know.’”
“I have no idea,” I said.
“Great,” Payne said as he pulled away from the curb.
I spent the day having to deal with Payne trying his best to walk me to each and every class. It was very sweet. It also annoyed the heck out of me. While I liked seeing more of Payne, it was just a matter of time before he tripped and broke his neck rushing down the stairs, just to walk me back up the stairs. And he didn’t need anyone else to witness his neck snapping back into place.
In between Payne’s mad dashes, Scarlett was trying to gin up excitement for the party she was still determined to throw. She’d come up with the idea of an eighties theme, which wasn’t half bad. I liked the golden oldies from that decade.
When the day was over, Payne and I headed to his car. Although his overprotectiveness was annoying, I was still glad to have some time to spend with him.
Of course, considering that we spent all morning preparing for something weird to happen, neither of us had seen anything that supported our theory about the snake. None of my visions made any sense yet.
As we pulled into my driveway, I heard Payne’s cell go off, signaling an incoming text.
“It’s Grandpa,” Payne said, examining the message. “He’s pretty upset.”
“Why?”
“Why else?” Payne responded. “Blasé. He can’t find him and he’s pissed off.”
“Was he supposed to meet your grandfather after school?”
“He was supposed to go to school,” Payne said. “But he ditched. His mother got a call that he wasn’t there. He’s not home either.”
“Blasé was at school today,” I said.
“You sure?” Payne asked.
“I know I saw him,” I said. “Maybe he skipped a couple classes?”
“I can see him cutting class. It wouldn’t be the first time he ditched an entire day of school, but I can’t see him coming to school while cutting class.”
We sat there a moment. I knew what Payne was starting to think. I was thinking it too.
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