by Brenda Novak
“There’s a murderer on the loose. I can’t leave her alone. As a matter of fact, I should go. She’s probably off work by now.”
A jolt of panic made him stand up straight. Brianne couldn’t leave him like this—dying to come inside her and thereby claim a fresh victory over Evelyn. The thought that she might evoked instant rage, but he did everything he could to hide that.
He had to be clever.
“Are you sure?” he murmured, and kissed her again while slipping a hand under her blouse. “You don’t have just a few more minutes?”
Her head fell back against the wall as he found and gently stimulated her nipple. “I want to taste this,” he whispered. “I want to taste you.”
“Maybe I can be a little late,” she said as though he was tempting her beyond her ability to refuse.
“My truck’s outside.” He took her hand. “You deserve better than the backseat of a vehicle, but as long as I make you come, what does it matter?”
When she resisted, he was afraid he’d said the wrong thing. He couldn’t be too crude, too demanding—not with someone like her.
“We’ve barely met,” she said.
“But we don’t have much time.” Besides, she liked what she saw. She’d made that clear. And she was down on herself and life in general. He had that working for him.
“Why not feel something good while you’ve got the chance? How long will it be before this happens for you again?”
“You’ve got a point,” she said, and let him tug her outside.
He almost had her right where he wanted her. If he could only get her into the backseat of his truck, she wouldn’t bail on him. She wasn’t that kind of girl.
“I feel like the luckiest man on earth,” he told her when she climbed in without balking.
“You’re so nice,” she said as he helped her off with her blouse.
He didn’t hear that very often, so he smiled. He knew he should spend some time kissing and caressing her, make sure she was as aroused as he was. But he was out of patience. He was going to get his turn, and he was going to get it now. He hoped she didn’t suddenly change her mind, because he was at the point where he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from raping her if she did.
Fortunately, she remained pliant, cooperative.
He undid his pants and pushed inside her right away. She seemed slightly put off by how single-minded he was becoming, but he didn’t care. The way she was wedged into the backseat of his truck, she could only let him finish.
As he started to move, he moaned with each thrust. He pictured Evelyn crying at the thought of what he was doing to her sister and that made each moment infinitely enjoyable.
As the pleasure built, he thrust harder and harder. He wanted to hurt her, wanted to clench his hand in her hair and yank her head back while biting her neck until it bled. But he managed to distract himself by thinking about how glad he was that she was already pregnant.
That meant she hadn’t demanded he wear a condom.
* * *
Evelyn whirled to face her the moment she walked into the house. “You couldn’t have left me a message?”
Although Brianne attempted to smooth down her hair, she couldn’t get it to cooperate and suspected she looked as guilty as she felt. Andy had been sucking on her neck, even though she’d told him not to, so she was afraid she had a couple of hickeys, too. Just in case, she didn’t remove her coat. She hoped Evelyn wouldn’t guess what she’d been up to. She couldn’t believe she’d been so impulsive.
She wouldn’t have acted that recklessly if not for Jeff, she told herself. His rejection had cut her so deeply she was looking for anything to deaden the pain and make it possible to forget, even for just a few minutes. The fact that she was marching toward a life-altering event she felt ill equipped to cope with didn’t help, either. A child was a huge responsibility, and that responsibility never truly ended. Would she be a good mother? Could she do it on her own? And even if she could, would having a child negatively impact her life in other ways, making it difficult to meet someone or continue pursuing her career?
Those persistent and as yet unanswered questions messed with her normal decision-making ability and had led her to do something she’d never done before.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t expect to be gone so long. I just went over to the Moosehead to get a break from staring at these four walls.”
“You didn’t think, with what’s going on here in town, that I’d be worried?”
She had realized that, but by the time she was making out with Andy Smith in the alcove by the bathrooms it’d been difficult to battle the desire to feel something good for a change. After all, she had no doubt Jeff was having sex with his new girlfriend. Why should all pleasure stop for her?
“You often go past the Moosehead on your way home to see if Amarok’s there. I figured you’d see your own car and … and know where I was, even if you didn’t want to stop in yourself.”
Evelyn started to stack the files she had spread out on the table. “I didn’t check the parking lot today. I was riding with someone else, which meant I didn’t have control. I didn’t think it mattered, assumed you were waiting for me.”
“I can take care of myself, Evelyn. It’s not as though I was hanging out in some dark alleyway or meeting someone who could be dangerous.”
“You can take care of yourself? That’s what every murdered girl thinks before she meets the man who kills her!” Evelyn cried. “That’s what I thought when I was dating Jasper!”
Brianne wanted to get into the bathroom so she could see if there were any marks on her neck. She needed to find out if it was safe to remove her coat or if Andy had left the love bites she feared he had. “So why didn’t you come over to the Moosehead when you saw that your car wasn’t here in the drive?”
Evelyn dropped the files on the counter. “Because you had my car! Besides, I assumed you’d run over to Quigley’s to pick up some last-minute ingredients for dinner. It wasn’t until I’d been catching up on paperwork for nearly two hours that I realized how long you’d been gone and began to panic.”
Brianne had been about to set Evelyn’s keys on the counter. At this remark—and the implications that immediately sprang up in her mind—she froze. “What do you mean ‘panic’? You didn’t send Amarok out looking for me, did you?”
“I did! Of course I did. I got hold of him at his trooper post, and he went out looking right away. Two bodies have been found recently, and one of those victims was killed in a cabin not too far from here. He was as scared as I was! Think about it; if Jasper is back, he might like killing you almost as much as me!”
The thought that Evelyn’s cop boyfriend might’ve seen Andy Smith’s truck rocking in the parking lot sent a shard of mortification straight through her heart. “He didn’t go by the Moosehead.…”
“I’m sure he did. That’s where people in this town hang out at night. It’s the first place to look for anyone.”
Dread made her nauseous. “When?”
“As soon as I called him!”
“No, I mean … when was it that he went to the bar?”
“Does it matter?”
Brianne pulled the lapels of her coat up even higher. It could! “He didn’t find me there?” At this point, she hoped not.
“I don’t know. I haven’t heard back from him yet.”
Shit. She hoped she and Andy were done by the time Amarok had arrived. “You’d better call him and let him know you found me. He doesn’t need to be wasting his time searching for me when there are so many more important things he needs to do.”
Evelyn threw up her hands. “Now you think of that?” She turned to close her laptop but pivoted to face Brianne again. “Wait, don’t tell me you were drinking. You’re pregnant! And you drove home!”
Brianne slid her purse off her shoulder and set it beside the keys. “Relax. I didn’t have a drop. I was just … I was talking to someone.”
“Wh
o?”
“Andy Smith.”
Evelyn’s tirade came to an abrupt halt. “The CO from Hanover House? That Andy Smith?”
Brianne lifted her chin. “Could there be two Andy Smiths in such a small place?”
“Not that I know of, but…” She seemed to struggle, trying to decide how to finish her statement.
“But?”
“Nothing. Never mind.”
“No, say it. You don’t really like him, do you?”
“He saved my life. Of course I like him.”
Brianne stepped closer to her sister. “He doesn’t think so. He said you avoid him. He’s afraid he reminds you of that night when Bishop was here.”
“He doesn’t. I didn’t know he was expecting more than the thanks I’ve given him. I’ve been so busy, I haven’t focused on anyone except Amarok—and my work.”
“And that’s fine. He doesn’t expect anything. But you can at least admit I was in good hands.”
The door banged open before Evelyn could respond, and Amarok walked in. The way he looked at her, then glanced away gave Brianne the sickening impression that he knew what had kept her from home. He’d probably gone inside, been told she’d left with Andy Smith, then scoured the lot and—
She refused to entertain the picture her mind conjured up.
Evelyn gestured toward her. “As you can see, you don’t need to keep searching. She was at the Moosehead.”
He hesitated for a second; then he said, “Yeah. I figured that out.”
Brianne saw a muscle move in his cheek and knew the jig was up. There was no point in continuing to hide the love bites on her neck, because Amarok knew exactly where she’d been. “Oh, just tell her,” she said to him. “You’re going to as soon as I leave, anyway.”
“I have nothing to say about it.”
Evelyn’s gaze bounced between them. When Amarok refused to speak, Evelyn’s focus shifted solidly to her.
“I was having sex with Andy in his truck, okay? That’s where I’ve been—having some fun.”
Evelyn stared at her, eyes wide. “You’ve got to be joking!”
When she took off her coat and slung it over a chair, her sister’s jaw dropped.
“Oh my God! You’re not joking!”
Amarok did an about-face. “I’m out of here. I’ve got stuff to do at the trooper post,” he said, and disappeared as abruptly as he’d arrived.
Brianne had to admit it was pretty cool of Amarok not to judge her or tell her how to run her life, especially when he had every reason to hate her for how she’d behaved since she arrived. She almost wished he’d stay. Maybe then Evelyn would’ve said they could talk about it later and Brianne would have a chance to regroup before trying to explain what had been going through her mind when she’d agreed to have sex with a man who was almost a total stranger.
“Your behavior doesn’t seem a bit … juvenile to you?” Evelyn said in the wake of his departure.
It did seem juvenile. She felt humiliated standing there with hickeys on her neck and her hair still mussed from her romp in Andy’s truck. But she couldn’t take back what she’d done. And at least she couldn’t get pregnant. She’d already made that mistake. “I like him,” she said.
“I’m glad to hear that.” Evelyn slumped into a seat. “I’d hate to think you were out screwing some random guy you didn’t like.”
“Stop it! He’s not some random guy. He’s the man who saved your life. And it’s nobody’s business but mine.”
“It’s my business, too, if it means you’re unraveling.” She sounded shell-shocked, which was worse than if she’d been angry.
“Look, I’m going through a difficult time, yes. But I’m not unraveling. I’ll be fine.” She hoped. She felt more certain of it in some moments than others, but she definitely knew she didn’t want to feel guilty the whole time Evelyn was in Boston for making her unhappy, too. “And as for what I said before … You know, about you coming home, I wish I hadn’t said it. You’re obviously happy here with Amarok. You should stay.”
Evelyn shook her head. “No. You were right. I need to come home and take some of the pressure off you. Mom needs me, too.”
Brianne took the seat across from her, and they sat in silence—until Brianne broke it. “I’m sorry about the guilt trip. And I’m sorry about tonight. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re safe.”
“And so you know, I’ve never done anything like that before. To be honest, I’m not sure why I did it this time.”
“You’re in an unusual situation.”
“But, like I said, I’ll recover somehow. You don’t have to come to Boston to hold my hand.”
Going into therapist mode, Evelyn seemed to calm down as she adopted a professional mask. “Do you plan to see Andy again?”
“I guess. I don’t really know him, but I’ve got another day here, and he’s obviously attracted to me. I figure we could become long-distance friends if nothing more.”
“There has to be some attraction on your side, too.”
Brianne dug at the cuticles of her left hand. She’d liked him a lot more before they’d made love. He hadn’t been a very impressive lover, but they hadn’t had the best surroundings and he’d felt under pressure since she’d been acting as if she needed to leave. She was trying to be understanding about all of that and not make a judgment call too soon. “He’s flattering. That feels good.”
“I can see why.”
“Then I hope you won’t mind that I invited him for dinner tomorrow night. He asked to see me again, and I thought the four of us could eat together—unless you or Amarok can’t take the time, or you’d rather Andy and I ate on our own.” She didn’t want to be alone with him, didn’t want him to think the same thing was going to happen again.
Evelyn’s eyebrows slid up, but she said, “No, you’re welcome to have him over, and I’ll join you if I can.”
Brianne studied her carefully. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Positive.”
“Okay. That way, even if Amarok can’t make it and has to stay out late again, at least he won’t have to worry about us. Not only will we be together, we’ll have an armed correctional officer in the house.” She offered her sister a smile in hopes that Evelyn would forgive her, not just for tonight but for the past several days, and was relieved when she seemed willing to let bygones be bygones.
“That’ll be a comfort.”
Again, Brianne wanted to ask her why she didn’t seem to be impressed with Andy Smith. Aside from Amarok, he was the most attractive man she’d seen in the area. But the phone rang.
Evelyn got up to check caller ID. “It’s my attorney friend in Boston.” She glanced at her watch. “Wow, he’s up late,” she added as she answered.
“No, you didn’t wake me,” Brianne heard her say, but didn’t stick around to listen to the conversation. She wanted a shower. She liked Andy—or thought she did—but was annoyed that he’d kept sucking on her neck when she’d asked him not to. And she was more than annoyed—she was downright irritated—once she got in the bathroom, looked in the mirror and realized it was worse than she’d thought.
“Holy shit,” she muttered as she fingered three distinct red marks—obvious hickeys. Why hadn’t he respected her wishes?
She’d have to wear a turtleneck for the remainder of her trip and even for a few days once she got home.
She hoped Evelyn owned a turtleneck, because she hadn’t packed any.
Disgusted with herself for letting the night get so out of control, she turned away from the sight in the mirror and started the shower.
23
Evelyn was still lying awake when Amarok came in. She hadn’t been able to sleep. She’d written Janice at the BOP before leaving work, told her boss that she needed to take a year off, despite the earlier commitments she’d made, and return to Boston and had felt sick to her stomach ever since. She’d lost so much in the past ten days—her sen
se of direction, what little remained of her security, the confidence that Hanover House was finally on an even keel and the illusion that she’d recovered from her past. But the loss she lamented the most was the distance that had come between her and the man she’d felt so close to only a short time before. Amarok had helped her more than anyone else. He’d offered the intimacy—in mind, spirit and body—she’d despaired of ever finding. She’d thought she was too damaged, that she lacked the ability to trust enough to fall in love after her first love had nearly killed her, but he’d refused to give up on her, and his consistency and tenacity had made all the difference. She owed him a lot, and yet she was leaving him as he feared she would, even before he’d originally expected she might do it.
But what else was she supposed to do? What Brianne had done tonight with a man she’d barely met served as proof that Evelyn needed to go home and support her sister and parents. Using Amarok’s steady, durable kind of love and what it had done for her as an example, she felt she could help them heal, had to at least try.
She heard Amarok in the living room, speaking to his dog in a low voice, and felt her heart ache. If only they’d been able to catch Jasper. It would’ve changed everything for almost everyone involved. But Jasper had eluded them, as well as three police departments—one in Boston, one in San Diego and one in Phoenix. Now two more women had been murdered, Brianne was in a difficult situation and Evelyn had to give up the job she loved—and a relationship that was more fulfilling to her than anything else.
A cupboard closed. She figured he was getting a bite to eat. She hoped he’d had dinner earlier; he was working too hard and sleeping too little.
After waiting another fifteen or twenty minutes, Evelyn felt her stomach twist into knots and her eyes burn with unshed tears. Where was he? Surely he wasn’t planning on sleeping separately!
She was about to get up to see when she heard his tread in the hall. At last, she thought. But even after he came in, stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed, he didn’t reach for her as he normally would have.