Lost Soul (War of Destiny Book 1)

by Theresa Van Spankeren

  Publication Information

  This novel is a work of fiction. The names, places, and events in this book are products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  War of Destiny: Lost Soul 2nd Edition

  Copyright © 2019 by Theresa Van Spankeren

  Cover illustration © 2018 by Jonathan Hunt

  Editing by Tricia Berry

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be used or reproduced in any form, electronic or otherwise, without prior permission of the author.

  Dedicated to Dan and the many friends and family that helped make this book possible.

  A special thanks to the Westmont ‘Writing Factory’ for their help and input.

  War of Destiny 1:

  Lost Soul

  By

  Theresa Van Spankeren

  Prologue

  I am a little over a half a millennium old, and yet I am still troubled by events that occurred over four centuries ago. I am a vampire. I tell myself that the past does not matter, but the aching in my chest won’t stop and the old familiar sense of fear is back in my gut.

  I am in present-day England, not far from the place where I grew up over five hundred years ago. It is night; my companions are out hunting. That is perfectly all right, for I need the time alone to think.

  I have befriended many, both mortal and immortal. I’ve earned fellow vampires’ loyalty and trust as their leader, even though most of them do not know me well. I have always kept them at a distance. I have told very few people anything about my human life, because to do so is to be weak and I have always been strong.

  What triggers these memories after so many years? I do not know, and that troubles me almost as much as the actual memories do. Maybe it isn’t one thing that triggers them, but a combination of things—if anything triggers them at all.

  Whatever the reason for them, I have decided to go back and confront these images from my former life, so hopefully they won’t destroy me from within. I’m choosing to write my story down because I’m afraid to tell anyone, yet need a way to sort it out before I go mad.

  Chapter 1

  I was born in 1492, in a wealthy part of London. My parents named me Juliana, but I prefer to be called Julia. I was the middle child of the family. My brother, Peter, was the eldest, and my sister Crystal was a year younger. All three of us had varying shades of red hair, but I did not share their green eyes.

  As every noble family does, we had servants. That was how Adam and I first met. His mother worked as a servant for us and she often brought him with her. Adam was two years older than I and a year younger than Peter.

  After Crystal was born, the four of us grew up together. We were all close, but Adam and I grew exceptionally close. This worried my parents greatly.

  I vividly remember a time when I was about eleven years old. I’d heard angry voices downstairs, so I sneaked out of the room Crystal and I shared and listened at the doorway to the parlor. My parents were talking. Peter was with them.

  “You should see them, Father. The way they look into each other’s eyes! Whether you and Mother want to admit it or not, Juliana and Adam are falling in love,” he said.

  “Peter, don’t be absurd. They’re friends, nothing more,” my mother said in her gentle voice. My mother, as beautiful as she was then, with her golden hair and dark blue eyes, had been growing weaker and frailer as the years went by. She had never fully recovered from giving birth to my little sister. That was why we had so few children in our family.

  “Heather, quiet. Peter has bought up a serious problem. Juliana has become too attached to this young man. He is not good enough for her. That family has barely enough money to get by. His mother is a servant! What do you think we should do, Son?” Father asked quietly.

  Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. Perhaps it’s time to start thinking of marrying her off.”

  I was appalled at hearing Peter speak of me like this. I didn’t want to be treated like someone’s toy. I also didn’t want to leave Adam. Peter was betrothed to a girl named Anna. They were to be married in two years. He had barely known the girl and had agreed to marry her. I couldn’t understand the reasoning for such a practice then and I still can’t understand it, centuries later. I was even angrier when I heard my father’s answer.

  “I have a few suitors in mind. Perhaps I shall start inquiring about them.” A second later I heard chairs scrape against the floor and knew they were getting up. I fled back to my room.

  It wasn’t long after that night that my father began to bring young men to our home. Most of them were nice, but none of them understood me the way Adam did. During the next four years I saw less and less of him. It was after one of these visits with a suitor that I slipped out of the house and sought out Adam.

  I found him helping his mother serve lemon tea to Crystal and one of her friends, Charles, in the gardens. Once I came into sight he lowered the drinks and hastened to my side. “Julia, where have you been? I haven’t seen you in weeks. I was afraid you were ill,” he said. Concern filled his brown eyes.

  I sighed and started deeper into the gardens. Adam matched my pace and waited patiently for me to speak. “I haven’t been ill. It is my parents’ doing. Adam, they are looking for someone for me to marry,” I blurted out unhappily.

  Adam stopped walking and turned to look at me. “I was afraid this would happen,” he sighed. “Is there anyone they seem to particularly favor?”

  “Aye, they really seem to like one man in particular. His name is Gregory Smith. He’s richer than we are and he seems very interested in me. My parents are very happy, but I’m not sure. He seems nice, but I do not love him.”

  Adam seemed even more distressed, if that was possible. And I, naïve fifteen- year-old I was, couldn’t understand why. I didn’t realize that our relationship had changed, that we were actually in love . . . what my father and Peter had feared. Adam looked at the flowers for a moment and then back at me. “Julia, I can’t let this happen.”

  “Cannot let what happen?” I asked, confused.

  He took a deep breath. “Julia, I love you. I can’t let you be married to someone else. I shall ask for your hand in marriage.”

  I stared at him in shock. I couldn’t believe what I had heard him say. “Oh, Adam. I— I love you too, though I think I have only now truly realized it. But I don’t think Father would ever agree to it. He would say you are not rich enough for his daughter.”

  Adam looked angry for a moment and then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he said drawing me into his arms. “Change their minds, Juliana. I know you can.”

  I collapsed into his arms willingly and was amazed at how natural it seemed. This is where I belong, I thought to myself. Out loud I said, “I don’t know if I can.” I looked up at him helplessly.

  Adam frowned but then smiled. He lowered his head until our lips touched. I was elated. A thrill ran through me as he pulled me closer and my arms wrapped around his waist.

  “Juliana!” My father’s voice shouted from the house. The joy of the moment shattered like glass. I was afraid that Father had seen us embracing. I jumped away from Adam and ran for the house, leaving him dazed in the garden.

  When I reached the house I found Father with Peter, their expressions serious. I didn’t like the fact that Peter was here. He had been married for almost two years and had a one-year-old son. Why would he be back here?

  “Aye, Father?” I asked sweetly, though with a hint of sarcasm. I felt nervous and guilty.

  “Get into the house. We have matters to discuss.”

 
; I glared at him and did as he asked. I entered the house and swept into the parlor. Mother sat there looking as if she had been crying. Peter and Father followed me in and also sat down. I remained standing. I had a very bad feeling about this family meeting. Crystal was the only one not in the room and I was sure it was because neither Father nor Peter wanted her there.

  My father was the first to speak. “My dear Juliana, you are now fifteen years old. It’s time you marry. Gregory has asked for your hand in marriage. Will you accept?”

  I stood rooted to the floor and stared at him in horrified shock. Finally, slowly, I shook my head. “No. I wish to marry Adam, if I am to marry at all!” I answered defiantly. I had always been known to be an independent young woman, and I had always wished for the power to make my own decisions. Especially about the person I was to marry.

  Father’s face turned purple. “I will not have you disgrace this family, Juliana! He is only a common man! You deserve better!”

  I glared back angrily. “I do not love Gregory. I love Adam. We would be all right even if he isn’t rich —”

  Peter interrupted me. “Don’t be a fool, Julia. Gregory can take care of you much better than that boy can. You will be happier, believe me.”

  I looked at him in disgust. “You and Adam used to be friends, Peter. What happened to you?”

  Peter sneered at me. “I grew up. You should try that some time, Juliana. He is nothing but a servant to us.”

  In desperation I looked to my mother for support. She looked back in sorrowful defeat. “Listen to your father and brother, Juliana. They know what’s best for you,” she said in a tired voice.

  I couldn’t believe it. “I know what’s best for me. I know! Not you, Father, nor anyone else!”

  My father drew in a deep breath. “Juliana, you shall marry Gregory Smith. I have already arranged the marriage because I didn’t think you would listen to reason. That’s all right; you shall forget that common boy in no time. Adam’s mother is being dismissed tonight, so you shall have no further contact with him before your marriage next week.”

  “I hate you. I hate all of you!” I yelled and looked at each of them in turn. My mother looked sad, my father was clearly shocked I had raised my voice.

  Before I ran out of the room, Mother tried to stop me. “Julia —” she said, slowly rising to her feet, and holding her out her arm, as if beseeching.

  “Let her go,” Father said wearily. I raced up the stairs and sought out my sister Crystal. She was the only one left I could turn to.

  She was sitting up in the drawing room, writing a letter. “What is it, Julia? What’s wrong?” she asked, looking at me with obvious concern.

  I told her everything that had happened. I was crying by the end of it. Crystal shook her head.

  “Adam is a very good young man but our parents are not wise enough to realize it. Julia, this man Gregory . . . I really do not like him.”

  I looked up at her. “What do you not you like? He seems nice enough.”

  Crystal gestured helplessly “I don’t know exactly. He does seem nice enough, but it’s just a feeling I have. I cannot explain it, Juliana. If Father and Peter will not let you marry Adam, can you marry someone else? Anyone but Gregory Smith?” she pleaded in a frightened voice.

  I shook my head uneasily. “Father has already arranged it. He will not listen to me now. But Crystal, you’re frightening me a little. What makes you say these things?”

  My sister looked down into her lap. “I told you, I cannot explain it, Juliana. It’s just a feeling I get whenever he is around.” She looked up at me with serious dark green eyes. “Just like I know Mama is sick because she had me, though no one ever says it.”

  I started and looked at her in surprise. “What are you saying?” I said harshly. It was something we had agreed on, Peter, Father and I—to never let Crystal know that Mother was slowly dying because of problems with Crystal’s birth.

  “I see it in the way you guard your speech around me, and in how Peter and Father treat me like nothing more than another servant around the house. Well, perhaps a little better than that, but not by much,” Crystal said, pain evident in her eyes. “Even you resent me because it’s my fault. Sometimes, I wish it was I who were dying, and not Mama.”

  “Crystal! We love you. I love you. Yes, after you were born, Mother never fully recovered; yes, she is dying, but it’s not your fault! Listen to me! You are my sister, and now my closest friend. Perhaps my only friend. Please, do not talk like that. I implore you!”

  Crystal looked at me meekly. “All right, Juliana. Let’s not talk about it anymore.” She paused. “Look, Julia, I am sure they will make you marry him, so please be extremely careful. I love you, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

  I hugged her tightly. Crystal sometimes knew things that no one else could know. It scared me at times, but I still loved my little sister more than could be expressed in words. “I promise, Crystal. I will be very careful. But if anything does happen to me, remember I love you.”

  “I will, Julia. If you need help, come to us. After all, we are your family. You’re strong and bold. I am weak and submissive. But it matters not how opposite we are. Just know that those traits of yours are your greatest strength and your greatest weakness. Use them wisely,” she said, abruptly releasing me.

  “Crystal! Where are you, you miserable wretch!”

  Crystal sighed and stood up. “Mother must be sleeping,” she muttered, turning to walk downstairs.

  I grabbed her arm. “You do not have to listen to Peter when he’s acting like this!” I told her. “You can stand up to him.”

  Crystal smiled sadly. “But I do. I always have.” She tugged free and walked downstairs. I sat down and stared out the window. Presently, I began to cry.

  ***

  The next few days flew past. Father dismissed Adam’s family, and my family kept me in the house and grounds to make sure Adam and I could not see or talk to each other. My mother made my wedding dress and veil. We could have afforded to have a seamstress make it, of course, but for Mother it was a labor of love. How I wished she had shown her love instead by persuading my father not to marry me off to a man I did not love!

  When she bought the dress to Crystal’s and my room to show me, she radiated happiness. “Juliana, I’ve finished your dress. Isn’t it lovely?” she asked.

  Crystal and I both looked it over. The dress was exquisite. It had lace sleeves and a low neckline. Most women didn’t wear a low neckline; it was frowned upon. But I greatly disliked high collars, as I found them very uncomfortable. This was my mother’s way of saying she was sorry about this marriage I was being forced into. Against my will, I felt my face soften into a smile. “It’s beautiful, Mama. Thank you,” I said sincerely.

  My mother sighed and lowered the dress. She walked over to us. “My baby girls. You are all grown up, Juliana. I’ve looked forward to your wedding day, so you could be happy. I’ve waited for this day anxiously, because I was afraid I would not live to see it. And soon Crystal will have her turn. I hope I can see her wed as well.”

  I looked away. “I know how you feel about this, Mother. But I cannot be happy marrying someone I do not love.”

  My mother suddenly seemed very sad and weak. “I understand your feelings, Julia, but you will learn to love him. Don’t worry about that.” She turned toward the door. “It’s for the best, Juliana.” I wondered if she truly believed that. She left the room a moment later.

  Slowly I rose and hung the dress up. “She says I’ll learn to love him. Father and Peter say that too. Do you think that’s possible, Crystal?” I asked softly.

  Crystal looked at me and shrugged. “I suppose it is possible, Juliana. However, I still do not like him. Be wary of him.”

  I looked away. “Come now, Crystal. He doesn’t strike me as a dangerous person.” Her warnings were beginning to exasperate me.

  Crystal stood up. “All I know is that whenever he is here to t
alk to Papa, I am overcome by an urge to flee the room,” she said, and left before I could make an angry retort. I let her go. I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I looked out the window at the gardens and the city. I thought of Adam and his family. I had no idea how they were faring. I shook my head and lay down.

  To my relief, I was able to rest more during the days that led up to the wedding. Those days I spent in my room sleeping, or fretting about how unjust it all was. Crystal brought me food and listened patiently as I bitterly lamented about this unfair agreement. She also bought me news of Adam, since she was still trusted to go out to the markets, which I wasn’t. She discovered that he knew the date of my upcoming marriage — Heaven knew everyone seemed privy to the knowledge. She also told me he had also gone to work to support his family. Crystal paced beside the bed where I lay and said plainly, “He looked furious when he heard how soon you were to be married. Didn’t you say anything?”

  “I told him our parents desired it, but I never got the chance to confirm it to him once it was decided, Crystal. Now go away. I want to sleep.”

  Crystal looked at me. “Juliana, you must stop moping and compose yourself. You are to be married tomorrow. Maybe he will be better than Adam,” she said, though without much conviction. “At any rate, you have been under a black cloud for days. You really must not continue so.”

  I rolled over. “Maybe,” I muttered, my voice muffled by the pillow. My sister sighed and left the room. I curled up and went to sleep.

  The next afternoon, Mother helped me put on the lovely dress she had made. It fit perfectly, and the neckline was right around my collarbone and shoulders so I wouldn’t feel as if I was choking. I wore a necklace with a small diamond in it, and my hair was slightly curled. Mother adjusted my veil.

  I paced my room for at least an hour. My hands went up to my veil incessantly, moving it this way and that, though my mother had done a fine job with it. A knot in my stomach seemed to grow larger as the hour of my wedding drew closer. I wondered what Gregory would be like once we were married. I had no idea what to expect. I was more than worried; I was frightened. But perhaps, I thought, it is simply fear of the unknown. After all I was very young.