by Sam Sisavath
Beside him, Lara was quiet for a long time before she finally said, “When you jumped into the lake, did you see what happened to the creatures?”
“They sank.”
“Yeah.”
“Silver, bodies of water, and…what was the third thing?”
“Ultraviolet light. But we haven’t been able to replicate what happened back at Starch.”
“Maybe you should go back there.”
She nodded. “One of these days. Right now, the lives of everyone on this boat is more important.”
She did a marvelous job of hiding it, but Keo could hear it in her voice and see it in the way she leaned against the railing. She was tired. Dead on her feet.
He knew how she felt; it had been months since he could say he was sufficiently rested. He hadn’t gotten any at the island, which was supposed to be safe. But out here, on this boat, maybe he could finally get a full night’s sleep.
“Why?” she said.
“Why?” he repeated.
“Why?”
“What’s the question?”
She gave him a knowing look, and he smiled back.
“You needed my help,” he said, and shrugged, hoping she’d let it go.
“We did,” she said. “We still do. In the worst way. But you didn’t have to do any of it. You don’t have to do it now. So why?”
“I’ve done things…” He hesitated, turning the words over, searching for the right ones. Or at least, the least objectionable ones. “I have a lot of blood on my hands, Lara. A lot. You have no idea.”
She didn’t interrupt and just listened.
“I didn’t use to do what I did for God, country, or apple pie,” he continued. “I wish I could say I was a true believer. Or at least a jingoistic moron. But I can’t.”
He paused again. Why was he even bothering to tell her any of this? What was the point? He guessed maybe he just needed to say them out loud more than he needed her to understand, because he didn’t really think she could understand.
“I have a lot to make up for,” Keo said. “I don’t know. Maybe I figured you and your friends were a good start.”
He stopped talking and waited for her to respond. He was both afraid and longed for it.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You already said that.”
“I don’t think I can ever say it enough.”
I’ll take it, he thought, and said, “You should get those wounds properly dressed. How’d you get shot twice, anyway?”
“I just got shot once. The other wound is shrapnel.”
“Hurts?”
“Everyone’s hurt. Pain lets you know you’re still alive.”
He smirked. “Daebak, Rambette.”
“One of these days you’re going to tell me what that really means.”
“Ask nicely and I might.”
“Deal.” She leaned over and surprised him by kissing him on the cheek. “Go get some rest, Keo. You’ve earned it,” she said, and pushed off the railing and hobbled through the door back into the upper deck lounge.
She moved gingerly, and though he couldn’t see her face, he imagined she was grimacing with every step. She wasn’t trying to hide the pain anymore, he realized, because there was just him around to see her vulnerable. He took that as a compliment and looked back at the ocean.
Or the big black spot where the ocean was supposed to be, anyway.
He thought about his mantra, the three sentences he had been basing his life on for the last ten years.
“See the world. Kill some people. Make some money.”
Not all that much had changed if he really thought about it. He was still seeing the world, still killing people, except no one was paying him to do it anymore. Or, well, not in stacks of green rectangular pieces of paper, anyway. Instead, there were just kisses on the cheek.
He’d take it.
CHAPTER 28
GABY
“Go, get out of here! Get out of here!”
She couldn’t stop thinking about him. The sound of his voice, the way he had screamed the words at her. There was a look on his face: terror, regret, and an absolute certainty that defied logic.
She didn’t know how he had done it, and she still didn’t despite running it over in her head again and again for the hundredth time. Josh had never been the strongest kid; it was one of the reasons they had defaulted to letting Matt call the shots after The Purge. There was no reason why Matt should have been the leader. He wasn’t older by that much and he certainly wasn’t smarter than either one of them. But he was bigger and stronger.
And yet, Josh had pushed the boat with them onboard off the beach by himself.
How? How did you do that, Josh?
She was reminded of all those stories about mothers lifting cars to save their child after an accident. Was that where Josh had summoned his strength? Had he dug deep because he wanted to save…
Her.
She found it difficult to reconcile the Josh in the uniform who had shot Danny (even if he did claim he didn’t know it was Danny) with the one that had ultimately saved her. They were the same man—and yet, so different. It didn’t make any sense, and her inability to understand him—what he was, what he had become, and what he had done at the very end on that stretch of beach—kept Gaby up all night.
After a while, she stopped trying to sleep and lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling. It was quiet outside despite the hum of the yacht’s engine everywhere. Even the gentle waves of the ocean under her didn’t lull her back to sleep.
She finally got up from the floor where she had been trying to sleep with nothing but a pillow and walked across the cabin she was sharing with some of the other girls. Bright lights from outside splashed through the windows and over Bonnie’s and Gwen’s snoring forms. The Trident ran on diesel but also had its own electric generator, which was how they still had lights now.
There were no signs of Jo, even though Gaby had seen her in the room earlier. Mary and the kids who had come with Bonnie were on the edges of the bed or spread out along the floor on the other side. She stepped around the bodies, then slipped out into the hallway, grateful she had gone to sleep—or had tried to go to sleep—with all her clothes on, including her gun belt. She didn’t have her rifle, but Gaby felt at ease enough not to go looking for it.
She stopped at another one of the cabins and peered inside at a pair of sleeping figures on the bed. She recognized the older woman who had arrived with Bonnie and Jo, sleeping with Sarah and her daughter, Jenny. The two women who had come to the island with Keo (their names escaped her) were sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed. They were snoring, and she didn’t think anything could possibly wake them.
She closed the door back up and moved to the next one, Josh’s words still echoing inside her head.
“Go, get out of here! Get out of here!”
She found another door and opened it and leaned in.
Gaby smiled at Claire’s thin figure, curled up on a couch in the corner of the room with the FNH shotgun leaning against the wall next to her, within easy reach. She looked cold and her body was trembling slightly, even though the room was warm. Gaby slipped inside and picked up a blanket from the floor that the girl had kicked off her sometime during the night and re-draped it over Claire’s shivering body.
Gaby took a moment to look over at the bed where Annie and Milly were asleep in each other’s arms. Elise, who Gaby always thought of as Lara’s “other little sister,” was asleep with Vera, Carly’s sister, the two of them snoring lightly next to each other. They looked almost like twins.
She walked to the door and was about to step into the hallway when a small voice said, “Gaby.”
She stopped and looked back at Claire, peering at her through the semidarkness. “Go back to sleep.”
“Where are you going?” Claire asked. She reached up from under the blanket to rub her eyes.
“I just came over to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m fine,” Claire said, and smiled.
“I can see that.”
“Can’t sleep?”
Not for a while, Claire. I don’t think I’ll be able to close my eyes without having nightmares about tonight and all those men I killed on the beach. About Josh and what he did. About Danny, half-dead somewhere on this boat. And Will, out there somewhere, maybe dead, maybe alive…
She smiled at Claire. “No, but I’m going back to sleep now, and you should, too.”
Claire nodded and closed her eyes. She was asleep again almost immediately.
Gaby slipped into the hallway and closed the door soundlessly behind her.
She found Zoe in the last cabin up the hallway, keeping a vigil over Danny from a chair next to the bed. She was half-asleep and only perked up when Gaby opened the door and leaned in.
“Hey,” Zoe said, sitting up in the chair. “I know why I’m not asleep, so what’s your excuse?”
“I wanted to check up on him,” she said.
Danny was on the bed and Gaby was glad most of his body was hidden in shadows, because she wasn’t sure she could stand seeing him so helpless and near death. Danny and Will had always been invincible in her eyes, but after tonight she’d never be able to think of him in that way again. Will, too. She hadn’t realized it until now, but throughout the night she had always expected Will to come riding home just in the nick of time to save the day.
But he hadn’t, and Danny had proven less than bulletproof.
Zoe and Danny weren’t the only ones in the room. There was a third figure asleep on the floor at the foot of the bed. Carly, curled up into a ball with a blanket draped over her. She looked restless, and her lips moved as if she were stuck in some kind of endless conversation loop, though she made no sounds.
“She wouldn’t leave,” Zoe said. “I don’t think she’s had a lot of sleep these last few days.”
None of us have, Gaby thought, but said, “Has he woken up?”
“Not yet.”
Gaby leaned against the wall next to the door, just far enough from the bed so she couldn’t see Danny’s face. She remembered how unresponsive he had been during their race down the beach, and then on the ride over to the Trident. She had no trouble seeing the blood bag hanging from a steel coatrack next to the bed though. A tangle of wires connected it to one of Danny’s arms.
“How is he?” she asked.
“He lost a lot of blood,” Zoe said. “Unfortunately, only Lorelei is O-negative like Danny, so she was the only one who could give him a transfusion. But she’s not exactly Keo or Blaine, so Danny didn’t get as much as he needed. I’m going to need more from the poor girl in the morning if she’s up to it.”
“But he’ll be fine?”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” She shook her head. “If he’s like Will, he’ll be too stubborn to die, but…,” Zoe paused and seemed to choose her words carefully when she said, “I’ll be able to tell for sure in the morning. I don’t know how she knew, but if Lara hadn’t insisted I had all of this stuff ready just in case things went bad…” She let it trail off, before finishing with, “I guess she knew what she was doing, after all.”
“Lara’s smart. Sometimes I don’t think she realizes just how smart she really is.”
“After tonight, I’m a believer.” Zoe stood up and walked to a mini fridge and took out a bottle of water. She took a sip and sighed. “What I wouldn’t give for some cold water right now.”
“The galley has a refrigerator. The water bottles we put in there should be cold.”
“Galley?”
“That’s what Maddie called the kitchen.”
“Oh.”
It was all part of Lara’s plan in case they had to abandon the island. Even before she and Danny had arrived, the others had been transferring some of the hotel’s inventory over to the boat and storing it. A lot of the nonperishable food, as well as supplies, ammo, and even vanity items like shirts, shoes, and personal hygiene were scattered among the rooms on all three decks. It had taken them hours, and according to Lara, they had only managed to move barely twenty percent of the island’s resources.
You would be proud of her, Will. Lara saved us. She saved all of us tonight.
Zoe sat back down in her chair. “I’ll keep an eye on him, Gaby. That’s why I’m here, remember? If things go bad between now and morning, I’ll do the best I can.”
“But you don’t know for sure if he’ll make it through the night.”
“I don’t usually believe in prayers, but if you do…well, it probably wouldn’t hurt.”
Prayers? That required faith, didn’t it?
She had faith in Will and Danny, but even that was shady these days.
“Go get some sleep,” Zoe said. “You look like you need it.”
Gaby nodded and left the room.
“Go, get out of here! Get out of here!”
Zoe was right; she did need sleep. But needing it and getting it weren’t the same things.
She climbed up the spiral staircase to the upper deck instead, stepping over some dried blood along the steps. She found Nate asleep on one of the couches in what looked like an entertainment lounge, alongside Benny. The two of them hadn’t exactly gotten along yesterday, and she wondered if they had been talking before falling asleep. Just what she needed—two men who both liked her exchanging war stories.
She glimpsed a figure moving along the railing outside through one of the windows, and Gaby stepped out just as Blaine rounded the corner.
“Hey, kid,” he said.
“Hey, Blaine. Anything?”
“Just water. Lots and lots of water.” He had his assault rifle slung over his back and a pair of night-vision binoculars hanging around his neck. “Can’t sleep?”
“Nope.”
“Yeah, me too.”
He leaned against the railing and looked out at nothing in particular. Their world at this moment began and ended in the halo of lights that encircled the Trident. It was as if the rest of the universe no longer existed; or, if it still did, it had gone into hiding.
“Did Lara say where we were going?” Gaby asked, leaning next to him.
“There was talk of some Caribbean island, but I don’t think she’s decided yet.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter, I guess.”
“No?”
“Nah. One island’s the same as another.”
She didn’t think that was exactly true. Song Island had been unique.
“Where’s Lara?” she asked.
“In the captain’s quarters next to the bridge.”
“Thanks.”
As Gaby started off, Blaine stopped her with, “Hey, kid.” And when she looked back, he said, “I’m sorry about Josh.”
“Go, get out of here! Get out of here!”
“We move on,” Blaine said. “It’s hard at first, but eventually the pain hurts less. Don’t make the same mistakes I did by closing yourself off for too long. There are people who care about you.”
She gave him a pursed smile. He was talking about himself. About Sandra.
“Thanks, Blaine,” she said.
“Don’t mention it.”
Gaby went back inside.
She walked past Benny and Nate again, but this time stopped to linger on Nate for a moment. He looked peaceful, and she was glad he was still alive. Not just after tonight, but after the pawnshop. Had she ever made that clear to him? If not, she could always fix it, maybe starting this morning.
But that was for later.
Now, she continued on, finding the hallway at the back. She knocked on the first door that came up.
“It’s not locked,” a voice said from inside.
Lara was alone, looking over a heavily annotated map spread out on a table with a lamp turned on next to her. The rest of the room was dark except for sections that were lit up by moonlight filtering in through the windows.
Like Gaby, Lara hadn’t changed out of the blood-splattered clothes, and her shoul
der and leg remained heavily bandaged. Gaby didn’t know how she was even still standing despite all the painkillers she had been taking throughout the night. Had she even gone to see Zoe yet? She had washed the dirt and grime (and blood) off her face, though there were still spots that she couldn’t get to or didn’t know were there.
Gaby made a mental note to talk to Keo and Blaine about forcing Lara to take a break—or at least get her off her feet. Now that Keo would be staying around for a while, they could afford to take turns getting some rest. God knew they all needed it. A lot of it.
“Can’t sleep either?” Lara asked.
Gaby shook her head. “You?”
“No rest for the weary.”
“Amen, sister.”
Gaby leaned against the table and looked down at the map.
“You checked up on Danny?” Lara asked.
“Just came from there.”
“How is he?”
“Zoe thinks it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start praying.”
“She doesn’t know him the way we do,” Lara said. “He’ll pull through. He has to. We need him now more than ever without—” She stopped herself in mid-sentence and didn’t finish.
We need him now more than ever without Will here, Gaby thought, finishing for her friend.
“Who’s watching our fearless captain?” she asked instead.
“Jo.”
“Jo?”
“Gage is handcuffed to the steering wheel. He’s not going anywhere or doing anything. I would have preferred Roy—” She stopped again and shook her head. “Dammit.”
“What?”
“No matter what we do, where we go, we keep losing people.”
Like Will. Dead or alive, somewhere out there by himself.
“He’ll be back,” Gaby said. She didn’t have to say who “he” was, because Lara already knew. “He’ll return to the island, find your message, and come look for us. Have faith.”
Lara nodded. “I do have faith.” Then, as if to convince herself, “I do have faith…”
Gaby reached over and took Lara’s hand and squeezed. They exchanged a brief half-smile. It was the best either one of them could manage at the moment.
“Is that it?” Gaby said, looking down at the map. It was covered in Lara’s notes, with a barely-visible dot in the middle of the ocean heavily circled. “Bengal Island?”