“Briggs, you’re not a danger,” she tried telling him. She’d seen him earlier. He’d been angry, of course – but he’d kept himself in check. He had let those men, who wanted to kill him, live. She knew plenty of people, who weren’t even Shifters that would have done much worse. Hell, even she’d done more damage to those guys tonight than he had. “I saw you earlier. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
His laugh was bitter. “And do you know how hard it was? How much I wanted to Shift, how much I wanted to taste their blood? I would have, you know. If you hadn’t stopped me. And once I changed… I wouldn’t have stopped. I wouldn’t have stopped with just those men. I would have attacked everyone in that damn bar. You included.”
“You wouldn’t have,” she told him, though she knew he was telling the truth. Something in his voice. There was no discussion about the matter. Briggs certainly didn’t sugarcoat matters.
“You know it’s true,” he said simply. “But you’re not scared.”
That much was true. She shook her head. “I’m not. I can’t be scared at a time like this.”
“A time like this? When you’re on the cusp of a technological breakthrough, with my help, or a time like this, when we’re sitting on the beach, watching the sun go down?”
Kat’s eyes were followed the sun as it finally sank below the horizon with one last flash of warm, loving sunlight. Somehow, despite everything going on in her life: Toby returning, her problems with the Aegis, and finding herself falling for a test subject, things felt right. Like maybe, just maybe, her life would go okay.
“I guess it’s a little bit of both,” she told him, looking into his golden eyes.
“Can I kiss you, Kat?” Briggs asked softly.
She found herself nodding, surprising even herself. And then his lips were upon hers, so soft, softer than she would have ever dreamed from a man like him. He kissed soft, as well. His lips slowly moved against hers. She felt his tongue press against her lips, just the lightest touch, and then it was away. He was careful, deliberate to not push himself onto her.
She pushed her tongue between his lips, pushed against his own, showing him that he could really kiss her. Still, she could tell he was hesitant. He didn’t want to hurt her. Kat moved her lips quickly, wetly, against his and leaned back.
Carefully, Briggs lowered her onto the sand, and then leaned over her, smiling more than she had ever seen him. For once, the tired look he so often wore was gone. He was happy. Truly happy, for maybe the first time since had she met him. Maybe the first time for a long time.
He lowered himself to her, kissing the side of her face, kissing her cheek, and then kissing her ear. Goosebumps exploded across her body as his lips wrapped around her earlobe, sucking gently. Her hands were running underneath his shirt, feeling his toned stomach, his smooth skin.
Then he rolled over her completely, laying on top of her, the warmth from his body completely insulating her. His hand was running softly through her hair and she closed her eyes, shuddering at the feeling of his undivided attention. She hadn’t been with a man in so long she couldn’t remember, but she’d never been with a man like this: he needed her, as much as she needed him. His lips found her neck, kissing and sucking wetly, before they moved down towards her chest.
Carefully, with his hand, he pushed her jackets to the side, exposing her blouse to him. She watched as his fingers danced on her chest, just above her breasts, moving against her bare skin just above the fabric. Carefully, lovingly, two of his fingers dipped underneath her blouse, coming extremely close to her breasts.
She moaned, pushing her lower body against his. She was getting hot between her legs and longed for him to simply take her right then and there. She felt a growing stiffness between his own legs, pushing against her crotch, and she could think of nothing else.
Then his hands were at the bottom of her blouse, moving up underneath her shirt, his warm fingers dancing over her navel and moving up towards her breasts. She felt his hand cup one, squeezing, her bra getting in the way. His finger curled around the bra, dipping just underneath it, the tip of his finger caressing her areola –
And Kat broke her kiss and pushed him away. Confusion crossed his face, but he pulled his hand out from under her shirt immediately, looking ashamed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t do this.”
“Okay. Yeah, absolutely,” he said, rolling off of her awkwardly. He shifted, uncomfortably trying to fix his bulge in his pants. He looked embarrassed. “Sorry. I never should have.”
“It’s okay,” Kat said, warmth still blooming inside of her. She wanted him, but it wasn’t right. Not now. She reminded herself that he was a test subject. This was her career on the line, and she couldn’t risk any more complications. She couldn’t risk any feelings. “Look, we should go ahead and just get the Aegis hooked up to you. We’re running out of time.”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” he said, looking down at the sand. He looked over at her, trying to flash her a smile, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. Couldn’t. She felt awful – but it was something that had to be done.
She got to her feet, took off his jacket, and handed it back to him. Then she was walking towards her car. He stood silent for a moment, then she heard him coming up behind her. She didn’t look back at him.
*
The car ride was long, silent, and awkward. Briggs didn’t know what to do. Hell, he didn’t know what not to do, either. There had been something there, right? It wasn’t just some random hookup on the beach. He had felt something between them, something that was real. And he didn’t understand how he’d fucked it all up.
Again.
“This is it,” Kat announced, pulling into the parking lot. To him, the building was nondescript, just another building on the side of the road. If he would have passed it, he never would have been able to tell it was one of the leading prosthetic labs in the world.
They parked and got out of the car. Briggs followed dutifully, only half paying attention to where they were going. He couldn’t shake the feeling of shame of what had happened. Couldn’t shake the anger at himself for what had happened. He wasn’t mad at Kat, of course. She had done nothing wrong. But he couldn’t figure out what had went wrong, either. It was frustrating. That’s an understatement, he thought.
Kat pulled back a huge plastic sheet, gesturing inside. Briggs led the way, checking out what amounted to her lab. It wasn’t much: a small room enclosed by plastic sheeting, a couple of computer monitors on a plastic picnic table, and a prosthetic limb on display inside of a glass case.
Briggs approached it. It didn’t look like much, honestly. It was made of some kind of smooth, white metal, almost entirely unmarked. Some sort of serial number ran down the forearm, stamped in big, black letters, but other than that, it was plain. For some reason, he had expected more.
Looking around, he grunted. Kat gave him a look, an eyebrow raised. “I expected something more,” he said, shrugging.
“Yeah,” Kat said, a clipboard in her hand, flipping through the pages. “Mr. Cartwright thinks it’s best if we spend most of our money on projects instead of our working environment.”
“Makes sense,” Briggs said, peering into a box of random wires and gears.
“Here, you need to sign this,” she said, coming over to him and holding out the clipboard and a pen. Now, it was his time to give her a raised eyebrow. “Oh, shit. Right.”
Despite the situation, Briggs couldn’t help but grin as she set the pen and clipboard down on the table. Seeing her like this, her embarrassment clear, made the pain from earlier in the night that much worse. Still, he pushed it away and began signing papers, wherever Kat indicated. From what she said, they were NDAs, releases to use the Aegis, papers that said he wouldn’t steal it, the list went on and on. After what seemed like hours of signing, he was finally done.
“That’s it,” Kat said, putting the clipboard down. “We’re ready to attach the Aegis.”
“How does it work?”
“You want the long or short version?”
Briggs chuckled. “Let’s hear the short and sweet version. Don’t think I could wrap my mind around whatever the long version is.”
“Your loss,” Kat said, grinning. The smile made Briggs smile. She looked away awkwardly, trying to suppress hers, as if she was trying to ignore what had happened earlier. Still, if she didn’t want to talk about it, neither did he. “In short, it detects small electrical pulses in your body, specifically the end of your arm, which it receives from your brain. It relays these thoughts into the Aegis prototype itself, and then it makes it do anything you want.”
“Okay,” Briggs said. What else was there to say?
“The problem with most of these arms, for instance, your old arm – is that these relays of information, from the arm to your brain, back to your arm and then into the prosthesis, finally ending in the arm moving – is that the arm just can’t keep up with your thoughts. Once it can’t keep up, it just doesn’t respond well. Some of them even back up. The Aegis has none of these problems.”
Briggs was looking back at it. “Well, let’s get this bad boy installed.”
He could tell that Kat was ecstatic, all thoughts of earlier forgotten. Now, she was focused on the arm behind the glass. She pulled a huge set of keys from her pocket, leafing through them and selecting a small one. She inserted it into a lock at the bottom of the glass case and swung it open. Together, the two of them stood in silence for just a few seconds, long enough to take in the gravity of the situation.
Carefully, Kat pulled it out of the case with shaking hands. She held it like it was some kind of baby or small animal. Briggs narrowed his eyes. “Is it really that delicate?”
“Oh, no,” Kat explained, turning towards him, still being careful. “I just can’t bear to see it scratched up, after all of the hard work I’ve put into it.”
Briggs would have laughed, but Kat was completely somber. “What now?”
“Raise your arm up and I’ll attach it. It’s pretty simple, actually. You’ll be able to get the hang of it immediately.”
Briggs obeyed. She raised the Aegis up, sliding it over the end of his arm, which ended just above the elbow. He felt it wrap around his skin tightly, suctioning to it in some way he didn’t understand. It was snug, but not uncomfortable. He had the feeling that soon, he wouldn’t mind it at all. It was definitely more comfortable than the last one he had tried.
“You’re good to go,” Kat said, stepping back and watching him with wide eyes.
“What? That’s it? No power switch or anything?”
“Nope,” she said, proudly. “It’s technology unlike anything else.”
“So what do I do?” he asked hesitantly. He was afraid of looking like a fool in front of Kat.
“Just...do whatever it is you normally do to do anything else.”
It sounded so easy, but Briggs hadn’t used his arm for years. Sometimes, he had thought he felt it, or thought he was using it, but that wasn’t real. Could this be?
Carefully, he tried to raise the arm. Nothing happened. He raised his real arm and it immediately obeyed, just like he knew it would.
“Nothing.”
Kat looked confused, but not defeated. “You’re going to have to learn how to use it again. It won’t come immediately. Keep trying.”
Briggs tried lifting his arm… and Kat gasped as the Aegis slowly moved upwards. Briggs tried making a fist, and slowly… the Aegis obeyed. He opened his palm flat, the prototype obeying faster now that he was getting the hang of it.
“It...works...” Kat breathed.
“You knew it would the whole time, didn’t you?” he asked. Her smile was making him smile. And, he had to admit – he was having fun swinging his hand around. It didn’t just react like a real hand would. It felt real.
He reached out with it and grabbed the clipboard. He couldn’t feel with it, of course, but this was the next best thing.
“This is great,” he said, now swinging it around and fake boxing the air with it. Kat was laughing, clapping her hands in delight. “It feels...real.”
“Is there any delay?” Kat asked.
“None that I can tell,” Briggs answered. He looked over at Kat, who was reaching into her pocket. She pulled out her keyring – and immediately threw them at his face. With lightning quick reflexes, he used his new arm to snatch them out of the air easily. “What if that didn’t work??”
Kat laughed easily. “It did. It works. Thank you, Briggs.”
“You’re welcome,” he answered, tossing her keys back to her. “So, what happens next?”
“You test it out for two days, then come back in here and we’ll check out the data,” Kat explained. “We’ll run some tests, make sure everything is working, then you can take it back out to gather some more data. You’ll definitely be using it until the shareholders approve the work.”
“I mean,” Briggs began, pausing. “With us.”
“Let’s keep it professional,” she said. She looked like she meant it, but he wasn’t so sure. “Let’s get you back to your car. It’s getting late.”
“Okay,” he said, his happiness overshadowed by what had occurred earlier. “Yeah, that’s for the best.”
“Looks like Simon has already finished up for the day. Give me a second to get everything turned off.”
Briggs stood to the side as Kat booted down the computer and got everything ready for her next day at the lab. She flipped the lights off, the entire room descending into darkness.
“Huh,” Kat said. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen this place this deserted.”
The darkness didn’t bother Briggs, so he took her hand in his new one and lead her out of the lab, leading them around boxes of spare parts, old limbs, and mountains upon mountains of wires. He wished that he could feel her hand in his own – his brain was telling him that he was. He could see it. But his brain wasn’t able to fool him into feeling the warmth of it, the softness of it, and Briggs knew it never would. He would never be able to feel her warm skin on his again. The thought wouldn’t leave his mind.
He knew she needed his help, and he was glad to give it. But if there was some other way – some way he wasn’t a test subject, some way that he could have her, then he would jump at it in a split second. He knew, that even as incomplete as he was, he would take Kat over a new arm any day of the year.
*
“You know, they say it’s not safe to drive a car with only one hand,” Kat chided Briggs as she walked him to his car.
“Good thing I have two now, huh?” Briggs asked, smiling. There was a sad look on his face. “Goodnight, Miss Crawford.”
So we’re back where we started the night, Kat thought. “Goodnight, Mr. Dawson.”
No, they weren’t back to where they had started the night – they were in even worse shape than before, all because of her actions towards Briggs. It wasn’t his fault at all. It was hers. She should never have gotten involved with him, shouldn’t have let her feelings get the best of her. But how could she explain that to him? How could she tell him that she’d led him on, and that she wanted him more than almost anything, but she couldn’t have him? That he couldn’t have her? It wasn’t right, and it certainly wasn’t fair.
But it’s what needed to be done.
She watched, keeping a straight face, as he got into his car. When he pulled away, she finally dropped the mask. It hurt to have to do that to him. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She wasn’t sure what to do: what did she really want?
MARS (BBW Bear Shifter MC Romance) (MC Bear Mates Book 1) Page 26